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Thread: A Walk in the Park

  1. #1

    Default A Walk in the Park



    1. In which area is critique or feedback to be given?
    composition and PP

    2. What were you hoping to achieve with this image?
    a retro and vintage feel for scene

    3. Under what circumstance was the picture taken? (physical conditions/emotions)
    late afternoon. positioning - almost lying flat

    4. personal thoughts about the image
    it brings back old memories of my childhood

    any critique will be greatly appreciated!!
    Last edited by jeneva; 16th April 2010 at 08:55 PM.

  2. #2

    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    any comments will be appreciated.. thanks!

  3. #3

    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    1. title and pic dont go.
    2. to me it's just numbers. doesn't ring a bell of nostalgia.
    3. color balance is very off.
    4. mushroom thing is very distracting.

  4. #4
    Senior Member The_Cheat's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    There are certainly some interesting elements in this picture, including the rather illogically placed numerals on the ground and the three mushroom like items on the left, which probably cause you to trigger the shot anyway. However, the execution of the picture does not do these subjects much justice.

    The aperture, which is definitely a bit too wide in this case, give such a small depth of field that the focus on the subject, i.e. the numerals, seems haphazard. While the numerals 5, 6 (and beyond) are probably out of the focus anyway, it is messy to see that 1 and 4 are both out of focus.

    Composition is a little funny as well. Since you'd described that you were almost lying flat to take the shot, your objective seems to be capturing the numerals, and not the park. Since that is the case, leaving 3 clipped is not favourable. And including so many other non-related subjects are doing you a disfavour in distracting from the main subject. Uninteresting distractions too, since they are all out of focus.

    Colours seems a little weird. I would simply just dump all the rest of the colour away and give a sepia tone. That way, the out-of-focus red objects at the back would not be any distraction at all.

    Finally, the scene is not exactly straight. The pavement line at the bottom of the picture should give you a rough idea about straightness of the scene. Try to keep the poles and the mushrooms as vertical as possible too.

    On an unrelated note, "A walk in the park" reminded me of the same titled 1997 song by Namie Amuro.

  5. #5

    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    It's too warm. Personally, I like the whites remain white (or close to white) even for sepia toned pictures.

  6. #6

    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    my 2 cents, If you focus on the nunber three, choose an aperture of about 2.8 to 3.2 and frame it as such that thoose 3 mushrooms are at the back, and call the image 'equals six' or sumthing. as the guys have said the image is too warm, aperture to wide, hope you try my suggestion and post it again...

    keep shooting


    http://www.flickr.com/photos/echomambo/

  7. #7

    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    hi all....

    Aperture: i agree that the aperture size is too big. gonna be conscious on the size in future...

    Horizon: orginally the horizon is straight and it was intentionally tilted to remove an unwanted object. was trying to salvage this shot

    Composition: the main subject are the numbers and yes a smaller aperture will improve it.

    Tone: i was trying to "orange" tone to the scene and thus the warmer tone. will consider sepia tone in future

    Thanks for all e advice!

  8. #8

    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    Took me a while to make sense of the numbers.

    What I found missing is the element of human interest to invoke emotions. Go high and shoot down, capture a little girl in mid air and her expression as she attempts the hopscotch, watch how her shadows fall across the numbers and factor that into the composition too. Eliminate other distracting things like the mushrooms and benches. Many possibilities.

    After you have the composition, then work on the colour treatment.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    I love the depth of field and bokeh in this shot. I also like the color treatment very much, I think you've got the feel right for this picture. However I think the only thing missing is the subject.

    Right now, the numbers don't make sense at all unless the person knows its actually hopscotch tiles, but even then it is just a picture of an empty park, I think to enhance the feel of the picture, a human subject has to be in it, probably the legs of a small child actually playing hopscotch.

    That will give the audience an idea of what the numbers and tiles are for, and further emphasize the nostalgia you are trying to recreate, by bringing them back to the time when they were playing it.

    Hope my comments helped you out.

  10. #10
    Senior Member oracle0711's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    The number does ring a bell but the overall picture does not give the retro feeling. The feeling in fact is too contemporary. For us who grew up playing those games, materials use were much simpler - sometimes even using chalk to draw on cement ground and we be hopping away happily

    Nevertheless, a good try.

  11. #11
    Senior Member wildcat's Avatar
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    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    I think I am too easily pleased
    In my opinion, it's quite a nice picture, so this post is just for encouragement. It looks better than some pix I've seen, and better than what I shoot, so keep shooting, ya?
    Last edited by wildcat; 23rd April 2010 at 10:32 AM.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    Personally, I think it's a nice, well crafted picture - the numerals starting from number 1, 2 and 3 clearly in focus leads one to read up the rest of the numbers. The tilted picture, whether intentionally so by TS, conveyed a feeling of a child tottering on one leg, playing a game of hopscotch, and the warm tone, conveyed a feeling of days gone by. The title may not be apt, and the mushroom is a distraction but otherwise, served a purpose of being in the park. Well done!

  13. #13

    Default Re: A Walk in the Park

    U want sumthing retro and vintage, here's a suggestion: desaturate your picture a bit. This helps to minimise the red distraction at the back too.
    Nikon D90 w/ tamron 17-50mm f/2.8 | http://www.xianglineyes.shutterfly.com

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