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Thread: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

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    Default What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Hi, just wondering if anyone could offer some advice on this. Just renewed my maid's contract (this is her 5th year with me) and she's just asked if she can pray 4 times a day and with headscarf on. I remember the agent advising against this but now that the agent has closed shop, I've no one to ask.

    Appreciate any advice anyone has. Thanks!

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by Racoon View Post
    Hi, just wondering if anyone could offer some advice on this. Just renewed my maid's contract (this is her 5th year with me) and she's just asked if she can pray 4 times a day and with headscarf on. I remember the agent advising against this but now that the agent has closed shop, I've no one to ask.

    Appreciate any advice anyone has. Thanks!
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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Praying 5 times a day is a religious requirement, each prayer if perfrom individually lasted less than 5 minutes. Prayers are done by facing Mecca at different time of the day and require no special space or any altar, just a praying mat which can be folded after the prayer. It's compulsory for a Muslim.

    Wearing of the headscarf is more on the woman's modesty. If you are a religiously tolerant employer should not be an issue, for your agent to advise you to disallow the maid from perfroming her prayer, they deserve to close down!

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    if it doesnt affect her work, why not? they are also human with religious needs
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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Thanks for your replies. Honestly, if she had popped the question 2 weeks ago, I wouldn't have mind cos she's been saying her prayers before she sleep every night and sometimes in the afternoon too. Wouldn't know about other timings as we are out at work. Just that we just had some "issue" with her over the past week so, her latest request gets on to me a little.

    Imagine initiating a $40 increase in her salary for her new contract and yet she can ask me for another $30? Agency/embassy recommendation is $30 or 10% and I'm already giving more but apparently not enough for her! She wants 25% increase! Last year, average increment given by employers in Singapore is less than 2%!

    Reasons she gave:

    1. That's the market rate for new inexperienced maid.
    2. $30 is small sum to Singaporean but means a lot to her. Than "madam happy and I happy" (her exact words).

    With her salary request, I had the whole world saying that she's climbing over me liao so, with the latest request, I just want to make sure that she's not trying something "funny" again. I mean, we already allow her to pray a few times a day so why can't she maintain the same arrangement? Is it really a must to wear the headscarf and use the mat?

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    mmmmm why not find a new maid then....

    No offense but sometimes some of these maids once they are here for too long and they start getting influenced by their friends and they start to ask for this and ask for that. You give in.. end up she rides over your head. You dont give in.. you fear what she does to your kid or your food....

    My friend had the same problem. Maid was Filipino, when she came for interview, everything also okay.. after she started working... this cannot that cannot and cite MOM rules this and that... end of day... My friend fired her...

    End of day they are employee and we are employer.....

    as for the praying thing.... hmmmm my question would be why for so long never ask and now suddenly she want to do it? One thing might lead to another.....

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Let her do her prayer. Its a compulsary for every muslim to perform their prayer.
    It won't last very for every prayer they perform, at least not more than 5-10mins.
    Don't worry, you should consider lucky to have maid with a religous thoughtful. If she a true muslim, she will work honestly and sincerely.

    I also have a maid who perform her daily prayer without miss unless during her period. She ever return back my $300 which i forgot to remove from my pocket.

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by mdzmr View Post
    Let her do her prayer. Its a compulsary for every muslim to perform their prayer.
    It won't last very for every prayer they perform, at least not more than 5-10mins.
    Don't worry, you should consider lucky to have maid with a religous thoughtful. If she a true muslim, she will work honestly and sincerely.

    I also have a maid who perform her daily prayer without miss unless during her period. She ever return back my $300 which i forgot to remove from my pocket.

    Thks for your advice. I would say that my maid works honestly as she's someone with a lot of pride. That's why I've renewed her a 2nd time. I'm not against her praying as she's already been doing so (w/o scarf and mat) over this past year. Just that she's been having so many requests of late that it's beginning to worry me.

    Imagine after working for 3 yrs, she suddenly claim that she has car sick and asked to be excused from weekend outings unless "important"?!?! But if we go places she's never been like Sentosa, Science Centre, JB, she's fine.

    For her last holiday home, we allowed her to go back for 3 weeks instead of the common 2 weeks. This time, she's pushing for 4 weeks! I told her I need to work and cannot expect me to take 1 month's leave! She can reply me "Please...the most you da bao dinner for 1 month la!"

    She always tell me that where religion is concerned, what matters most is your heart. Where you pray, how often you pray is nothing as compared to what your heart thinks and your actions. That makes me wonder what's the rational behind her latest request.

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    She has prayed in the past without tudung or mat without problem.......she seems to be testing your boundaries with this and other requests now and in the past .......
    Last edited by ed9119; 8th March 2010 at 03:47 PM.
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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by aeskywan View Post
    mmmmm why not find a new maid then....

    No offense but sometimes some of these maids once they are here for too long and they start getting influenced by their friends and they start to ask for this and ask for that. You give in.. end up she rides over your head. You dont give in.. you fear what she does to your kid or your food....

    My friend had the same problem. Maid was Filipino, when she came for interview, everything also okay.. after she started working... this cannot that cannot and cite MOM rules this and that... end of day... My friend fired her...

    End of day they are employee and we are employer.....

    as for the praying thing.... hmmmm my question would be why for so long never ask and now suddenly she want to do it? One thing might lead to another.....
    Totally agree...I decided to still renew her after the salary saga cos she's been a good worker these years and this will be her final contract. She's planning to work for 2 more yrs before she go back and start her own business. I'm happy for her that everything is working out fine just that lately, I'm beginning to feel that she's climbing over my head liao. So disappointed. This is my first maid and I've always treated her like family but she seems to be taking things for granted of late.

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by Racoon View Post
    Thks for your advice. I would say that my maid works honestly as she's someone with a lot of pride. That's why I've renewed her a 2nd time. I'm not against her praying as she's already been doing so (w/o scarf and mat) over this past year. Just that she's been having so many requests of late that it's beginning to worry me.

    Imagine after working for 3 yrs, she suddenly claim that she has car sick and asked to be excused from weekend outings unless "important"?!?! But if we go places she's never been like Sentosa, Science Centre, JB, she's fine.

    For her last holiday home, we allowed her to go back for 3 weeks instead of the common 2 weeks. This time, she's pushing for 4 weeks! I told her I need to work and cannot expect me to take 1 month's leave! She can reply me "Please...the most you da bao dinner for 1 month la!"

    She always tell me that where religion is concerned, what matters most is your heart. Where you pray, how often you pray is nothing as compared to what your heart thinks and your actions. That makes me wonder what's the rational behind her latest request.
    I personally think your maid has been working with you for too long... and is starting to ride over your head.... As for the prayer part... I believe it is a obligation but to be honest I dont see my muslim counterparts at work do that 5 times a day.... For her to ask from beginning I would say carry on and let her do it. Respecting that she is religious. But after so long now she ask for it.... Errr Im more afraid more requests would come later....

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by ed9119 View Post
    She has prayed in the past without tudung or mat without problem.......she seems to be testing your boundaries with this and other requests now and in the past .......
    You think so too? My friends and family say the same too.

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    fire her.
    really.
    one thing will lead to another.
    as in the case of my aunt's maid, she eventually ran away. the trouble she left behind, *#&$!!!!


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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by Racoon View Post
    Thks for your advice. I would say that my maid works honestly as she's someone with a lot of pride. That's why I've renewed her a 2nd time. I'm not against her praying as she's already been doing so (w/o scarf and mat) over this past year. Just that she's been having so many requests of late that it's beginning to worry me.

    She always tell me that where religion is concerned, what matters most is your heart. Where you pray, how often you pray is nothing as compared to what your heart thinks and your actions. That makes me wonder what's the rational behind her latest request.
    Actually, women need to wear a "telekung" when praying, not just with a headscarf. (Perhaps she has learned more about the religion over the years?) As for prayer mat, the bare minimal is a handkerchief placed at where the head will rest at prostate position, so as to not dirty your face.

    Quote Originally Posted by Racoon View Post
    For her last holiday home, we allowed her to go back for 3 weeks instead of the common 2 weeks. This time, she's pushing for 4 weeks! I told her I need to work and cannot expect me to take 1 month's leave! She can reply me "Please...the most you da bao dinner for 1 month la!"

    ....
    As for other aspects, be firm with her. 3 weeks good already. Most of us also get average 14 days annual leave...
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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    who is the boss here. If you are not happy then change. no point asking or complain so much. The final word is : if it hits your limitation, then told her. if she still inisit she is right and its her right, then change a new one. No point keeping silent and end up more issue happen.

    There are so many maid agency to ask around, why want to keep a person who is no longer "listen" to reasoning...

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    if the praying does not affect her work, i'd say why not

    as for the other requests, i'd say if want this then, minus some salary
    if want something else then minus some more

    reason, new inexperience maid don't have
    want more holiday, minus the da bao dinner costs + transport costs

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    btw welcome back

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by ortega View Post
    if the praying does not affect her work, i'd say why not

    as for the other requests, i'd say if want this then, minus some salary
    if want something else then minus some more

    reason, new inexperience maid don't have
    want more holiday, minus the da bao dinner costs + transport costs
    minus? work load minus a lot since mini HS went to full day childcare but still asking for 25% increase leh. I also want this kind of job!!

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by ortega View Post
    btw welcome back
    heehee...thks!

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    Default Re: What's the Practice in Sgp re FDW Wearing Headscarf and Praying 5 Times a Day?

    Quote Originally Posted by Baracus View Post
    Actually, women need to wear a "telekung" when praying, not just with a headscarf. (Perhaps she has learned more about the religion over the years?) As for prayer mat, the bare minimal is a handkerchief placed at where the head will rest at prostate position, so as to not dirty your face.



    As for other aspects, be firm with her. 3 weeks good already. Most of us also get average 14 days annual leave...
    Thanks for the info, Baracus. She told me headscarf...at least now I know what it looks like.

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