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Thread: Seeking advice: Divorce

  1. #21

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    My deep deep simpathy towards you bro. However this is the advice I can give:

    1. You MIGHT be able to get your marriage annuled based on the fact that you have not gone through a proper 'marriage life' with your wife. This is the best scenario of course but it is hard. You might have to get the best lawyer also to be able to pull this thru.

    2. There are one very important basis of divorce: that marriage has broken down irretrievably (woman charter section 88). And to prove this she needs to have any of the 5 facts: adultery (which you din do), unreasonable behaviour (this is rather vague, you still have to find best lawyer for this), separation for 3 yrs with consent or 4 yrs without consent (nope), desertion for 2 yrs (nope).
    At such I would think that she will try to fight the case thru the basis of unreasonable behaviour. You would need to fight the case in this basis, bro.

    3. NEVER sign the document without a lawyer. You would CONFIRM have to give at least 1/2 of the total wealth you have AFTER you are married plus maybe maintanence fees everymonth (luckily no children).

    I think you have good chance to fight man. I would think engaging PI will provide a more solid eveidence on the unreasonable behaviour on her part. Sad to say most likely she will get a part of what you have. But dun let her without a fight, half is just too much for this case. Tell me if you need more advice bro, I might be able to find contact for a good lawyer.

    PS. We should have Men's Charter!
    Last edited by sesame_street98; 27th February 2004 at 02:55 AM.

  2. #22
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    Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! Man's charter! :
    )

  3. #23

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    Thanks GuyS! I didn't expect so many helpful replies and PMs... I am so touched.. I will be going to medical check up to prove that I am NOT Impotent. I may sound her like a bitch but she just abit unreasonable. Right now, What I have to do now is to prove that I am not impotent and trying to patch back the marriage. I think we have a serious communication breakdown. Seriously, I have no thoughts of hiring a P.I to investigate her. My reasons being is I have no capacity to do so nor I think she's the kind of slut woman. Yes, she's very pretty and every job she changed has many wooers after her Thanks everyone again.. Will keep you all updated on the case.

  4. #24

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    hey tokrot.... hope u can patch things up with ur wife.

    good luck and best wishes.
    you can buy better gear but you can't buy a better eye

  5. #25

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    Hope thing will work out for you two,
    All the best

  6. #26

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    OK here's what she offered last time if I would to sign the divorce papers.

    1) She would not request the ownshipship of the flat.
    2) The papers will just stated Incompatible leading to divorce.
    3) Legal fees should be paided by both sides.

    I told her I may go to lawyer and she has to pay her own legal fees, moreover I have suggested marriage annuled so both of us will have nothing nor I need to pay her maintainence. Now She's threatening to spread rumours abt her assumption of me being "impotent" in my company. (She used to work there). I have warned her to sue her for slander if she does that.

    Personally, I dun think she would do that. In my opinion she could be asking for some settlements but my pal advise me against signing the papers since there's no black and white abt she not claiming the flat later. So what's the deal now? Should I agree to her proposal?

  7. #27
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    Quote Originally Posted by jaye
    bro, i am sorry to hear bout your tragedy but from what you described, i feel that she may just be using you to obtain PR
    I feel that way too...from all the story we've heard.....

  8. #28
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    whatever, get it in black and white. not to say she is lying, but it is like what we learnt in army - "cover backside".

  9. #29

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    Would be good to pay lawyer some $$ to excecute the agreement properly in writing, even if u have to bear the legal cost is worth it, once evrything legally settled, u can start afresh.... rem insist on no maintenance, no claim on flat,
    brother, u had work hard for it must be very firm on this okay

    and I kind of agree with Vader and Jaye.....

  10. #30
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    There should be a "men charter" to protect us, if the wife wanna juz come to singapore to get PR, it'll protect us and to all who wanna to come here to juz be PR, ask them to take a hike!!!

  11. #31

    Lightbulb ask yourself this question

    Quote Originally Posted by tokrot
    Thanks GuyS! I didn't expect so many helpful replies and PMs... I am so touched.. I will be going to medical check up to prove that I am NOT Impotent. I may sound her like a bitch but she just abit unreasonable. Right now, What I have to do now is to prove that I am not impotent and trying to patch back the marriage. I think we have a serious communication breakdown. Seriously, I have no thoughts of hiring a P.I to investigate her. My reasons being is I have no capacity to do so nor I think she's the kind of slut woman. Yes, she's very pretty and every job she changed has many wooers after her Thanks everyone again.. Will keep you all updated on the case.
    Experience has taught me not to intervene in husband and wife kind of conflicts.

    Ask yourself one question. Do you want to keep your marriage ? Once you have made the (decisive) decision, then you can explore options open to you. Then act accordingly.

  12. #32

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    i really feel for you, i dun know any legal issues but its feel bad that things did not work out. You had to hold on for so long. Take heart pal, i really think getting legal help is nessesary to protect your rights.

    please take care as this time is most stressful and nerving! i also salute for your bravery to 'speak' to all of us in the forum.

    Life is a long road, you can never u-turn but there are always other paths to walk to.

    Again, take good care of yourself!

  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by tokrot
    Hi Guys,

    I dunno whether I should discuss this in the forum but I am really really helpless... My marriage is on the rock and gonna end soon. OK here's my story. We were married in yr 2000 and had no customary marriage and had a 5-room flat two yrs later. My Wife (a SG PR) refused to share same bed, bedroom, refused customary marriage, refused sex. Now my wife being tired of me, wants to dump me. She's hiring a lawyer based on the facts that she thinks I am impotent (which I am NOT! ) and uncompatible. She told me all I have to do is to sign the paper agreement and there we go our seperate ways.

    Throughout the 4 yrs, I have given her monthly allowances and many cash ( she insists on cash basis) on her birthdays, her dad& mom's birthday, Christmas, CNY, Wedding anniversaries and shopping. What she does is come home late with 1 am plus half drunken occassionally. She even refused to contribute to Household exspense at all.

    Based on my friend's account, it is useless for me to get the lawyer to fight this case as a divorce case is still a divorce case in the end. The Women Charter Laws protects the women here. But what I want is the truth to be out and show what kind of person she is. My question now is should I get a lawyer to "fight" the case for me? will this divorce case have any affect on my next case of maintainence fee? Please advise.....
    maintanienc fee is a must in the eye of the law... but she can choose not accept... nevertheless.. judging from yr thread.. she seems like a materialistic woman.. *pardon mi*
    so u die die also must give her....

    i think if no s3x is involve in 5 yrs of marriage.. u r allowed to do a direct divorce which is call the annulment of marriage

    but again.. check with yr lawyer.. or maybe vince123123 can help ya?

    erm...

    regards

  14. #34

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    Well, it seem that she is not interested in patching up the marriage. Do you ask her the reason why it is so?

    As ownership to the 5room flat, good to state it down in black and white, but what is the rational that she dun want it? They already have part of it's share, rite? Seem the case is just not that simple to ponder.

    Why she keep claiming that you are impotent? Have you made love to each other? You cited she refused to have sex with you, what is behind all these things?

    You have more questions to ask yourself before deciding what to do next? Probably get a lawyer to go through the paper before signing and all terms must be clear to each others.

    I am not married and I have no gf at the moment, but I know of a pretty lady which I dare not to chase after her. Too beautiful and also very rich, my status too humble ... I used to take photo of her while she drive me to location with her mes and now she is married to a Business man.

    So bro, take it easy and decide carefully on what to do next. Life is not ending here .... shoot more ....
    AMPA * WPPI * J team

  15. #35
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    Default me too

    sigh...mine is on the rocks too. can anyonw advise on how to go about getting a separation?

    the last time i speack to a lawyer she make it sound so easy. she said just be separated with her and be able to prove that we not sleeping together and not doing cooking and laundry etc for each other and the D-day comes just tell judge by oath that we are separated since what date will do. like very easy hor?

  16. #36
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    this kind of incidents happen in s'pore very often.

    but do not sign paper first.

    Reason:
    1) There are many hidden things you don't know about her yet.
    - she may have a history.

    2) You'll lose a lot of money once you sign.
    - unless you win the case and have evidence against her.

    3) If you are living in HDB. You'll lose it. Govt. will confiscate it.
    - if you really want to sign, sell the house first.

    A person who really love you will not ask more from you except more love
    and care. A true love is where a person accept you even if you are a
    disable person. Not by judging your physical capabilities. A true wife will help you save money and plan your family.
    Not spending all your money. Even if you give her a lot of money, a
    true wife will save it for rainy days.

    Something to think about when your wife don't want to have a proper
    customary marriage. Is she helping you save money? or she don't want
    to let anyone know.

    There are many similar cases like yours in S'pore. It's just that we seldom
    hear or see from the news because this is the matter of a person's dignity.
    If this happen to you, you also don't to let your family and friends know.
    Just use money and settle it. That's where "they" take advantage from you.

    There are many ways to prevent a divorce if both are wiling to forgive
    and forget each other's mistake. Everyone make a bit of mistakes from
    time to time. You'll be surprise that there are many people in S'pore who's
    willing to help couples to improve their relationship and marriage.

    I know this because I've been a marriage seminar before. These seminars
    are not for couples who have problems but for couples to improve their
    marriage. It's a life refreshing experience for me after I've attended it.
    It's a 3D2N(food provided) life experience that cost me only S$20.

    Although I love my wife very much but after attending such seminars, I love
    my wife even more.

    A marriage does not always ends with a divorce. A divorce is just an easy
    way out.

    Please act wisely and seek advice from people who can help you.

  17. #37

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    The link to divocre issue will help you answers your question more clearly. Please take your time to read it carefully ...

    Family court of Singapore
    AMPA * WPPI * J team

  18. #38

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    We had a heat argument just now. It seems like there's no turning back. She given me an offer again. We shall split the cost of legal fees of hiring one lawyer only and she's asking for no flat or maintainence fees. I am afraid this time is for real, never expect to happen to me like that. I am requesting a week to consider....

  19. #39

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    Quote Originally Posted by surge
    sigh...mine is on the rocks too. can anyonw advise on how to go about getting a separation?

    the last time i speack to a lawyer she make it sound so easy. she said just be separated with her and be able to prove that we not sleeping together and not doing cooking and laundry etc for each other and the D-day comes just tell judge by oath that we are separated since what date will do. like very easy hor?
    It is easy say than done ... ensure there is nothing intervence otherwise the case may get complicated .. where the divorce is based on 3 years' separation with consent, the Respondent's consent to the divorce
    AMPA * WPPI * J team

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by tokrot
    We had a heat argument just now. It seems like there's no turning back. She given me an offer again. We shall split the cost of legal fees of hiring one lawyer only and she's asking for no flat or maintainence fees. I am afraid this time is for real, never expect to happen to me like that. I am requesting a week to consider....

    you better get pro help in this...speak to a lawyer. good luck to you!

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