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Thread: Please, do not hesitate like I did!

  1. #1

    Angry Please, do not hesitate like I did!

    Didn't know it could feel this bad. And the feeling's getting worse the more I think about it. Should have given chase but I didn't. Seems like the best I can do now is to share my experience so you could be more alert and not hesitate like I did.

    Was walking amongst the Chingay crowd outside Taka when my fren spotted the molestation of a few women by this one guy. The ladies were left aghast and speechless ... and didn't shout for help. I had thought it was a case of the guy bumping into the ladies 'accidentally', then I was told he actually squeezed and groped.

    Amidst all the "did you see it?" "what did he do?" "which guy is it?" talk ... I should have plucked up the courage to gave chase ... or at the very least shouted a "Stop him!" or something ... but I didn't! He was still just within sight when I figured who it was and contemplated my reaction ... then we lost him, and the ladies amongst the crowd. Perhaps it was the fear of making a fool of oneself ... catching the wrong guy ... or not being able to get the ladies to confront the culprit ...

    Please, if you encounter something similar, please do not hesitate like I did and let the culprit go scot-free. Those foolish worries are totally unnecessary. You don't know how bad you can feel later ... for your inaction. I can't even being to imagine how his victims are feeling this instant. His next victim could be someone you know, someone close to you.

    For me, there shall not be a next time.

    Regards,

    Sensires

  2. #2
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    You had your 10D with you didnt you? Hehe. Could've taken some pictures of him though.

  3. #3

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    And it makes you feel better by telling us?

  4. #4
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    No point feeling bad dude. **** happens. One day he's going to grope some karate black belter who will kick his butt to the South China Sea.

  5. #5
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cash
    And it makes you feel better by telling us?
    No. He's telling people what not to do.

  6. #6

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    Quote Originally Posted by PLRBEAR
    No. He's telling people what not to do.

    Im sure he feels better now though. You think so?

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by Cash
    And it makes you feel better by telling us?
    Does it make you feel any better but posing such a question?
    --
    "High Wired, Dream Sired"

  8. #8

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    I can sense some monetary pollution in here...

  9. #9

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    did u call police

  10. #10

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    i encountered one a few days back
    i called police
    but if you really want to help next time,
    you better drag the victim along with you and call police
    and you were with FRIENDS damn it
    that guy only one person
    come on

  11. #11
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    We are just human, the thinking creatures. YOur reaction is definitely very normal. It's hard to react when you are unsure of things...and when you are sure of it, it is too late to react. Hope you are feeling better after sharing. I am sure your sharing will come to our mind when we are met with a similar situation. Although you didn't have the courage to confront the chap but at least you have the courage now to share your experience with us and admit your fault, hence advising us not to make the same mistake as you.


    Thanks sensires, for sharing with us your experience.


  12. #12

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    Quote Originally Posted by sensires

    Amidst all the "did you see it?" "what did he do?" "which guy is it?" talk ... I should have plucked up the courage to gave chase ... or at the very least shouted a "Stop him!" or something ... but I didn't! He was still just within sight when I figured who it was and contemplated my reaction ... then we lost him, and the ladies amongst the crowd. Perhaps it was the fear of making a fool of oneself ... catching the wrong guy ... or not being able to get the ladies to confront the culprit ...
    i believe this is a very common psychological reaction. just like in wartime, when your platoon suddenly got ambushed heavily, the distribution of reactions is different. soem will react fast n run away smartly, soem will just "blur" and freeze in shock, soem will run not so fast but dunno where to run, soem will call for help, soem will fight back, soem willl play dead, some will surrender straight...

    we should just take it as an anecdote and not be too judgemental. he didnt say where he n his group of frens were standing , relative to the victims, amybe too far away? maybe the culprit moved too fast, too crowded to chase effectively? maybe sensires was busy changing CF cards and preoccupied with the safety of his camera in a potentially hazardous environment, and first time in his life encounterign a crime scene unfolding b4 his eyes and we cant blame him for the relatively slow reaction ? he's just sharign an experience and the thoughts after he recomposed n calmed down n thought over it and some possible suggestions. at least he bother to come here and share it..so just listen lor

  13. #13
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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfgang
    Does it make you feel any better but posing such a question?
    Im sure he feels better now though. You think so?

  14. #14
    Senior Member Kit's Avatar
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    Happened to my friends too while we were in Melbourne. We were queuing for movie tickets and 2 of my friends saw a guy lifting a haversack from an unsuspecting customer in the sushi bar opposite. All within view and no more than 5m away, so was the security guard. For some reason, they just stared and let it happen. They told me after the guy make his way out of the mall. I was quite shock actually. "Why didn't you do anything?!?!" was my reaction. I later realised it not that easy to stand up and nap somebody in public. Oh well.....

  15. #15
    Senior Member Kit's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AReality
    I can sense some monetary pollution in here...
    I've sensed that quite sometime ago in a number of places.

  16. #16

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    this is singapore..... i am a singaporean but i am sometimes disgusted by how we singaporeans react.... to me so far my perception of our own pple is still the same.... inconsiderate.... afraid of troubles.... ai.....
    Panasonic G3 | Minolta X700 | Minolta X370 | Pentax Asahi Spotmatic | Pratika MTL 3 | Panasonic Lx3

  17. #17

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    not only singapore lah....HK also like that...that's why they say dun bring valuables around in HK as if got robbed or anything, nobody will do anything unless is a cop but then sometimes cop see also never do anything........

  18. #18
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    Brings me back in time to those days when we had Swing Singapore in Orchard... a group of us, guys and gals were there as teenagers... next thing i knew, i saw a swing of a hand and one of my girlfriends had just slapped a guy who had molested her... time seems to froze for a moment, the guy was staring back at her(probably from shock), she did the same(even bigger eyes). Us guys after recovering from the initial shock then went over to surround the guy. Can't remember what exactly happened after that... no cops were called for sure.. guy was probably in his 30s... think he just walked away into the crowds.. it spoiled the mood for the night for sure. Thinking back, gee... we guys really suck back then... couldn't/didn't do much... Guess i can relate slightly to what sensires felt...

  19. #19

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    Quote Originally Posted by Twilo
    You had your 10D with you didnt you? Hehe. Could've taken some pictures of him though.
    All I have is an ixus 300 Twilo ... and i didn't have it with me. I wish I had a 10D too Got to hold the 10D at SEED twice ... it's either Adam Goi or David Lim's - kind chaps - that you might have seen me with ....


    Quote Originally Posted by PLRBEAR
    No point feeling bad dude. **** happens. One day he's going to grope some karate black belter who will kick his butt to the South China Sea.
    I sure hope so! Thanks.


    Quote Originally Posted by clive
    did u call police
    No I didn't. On hindsight, it could have put the police present for Chingay on alert for such a guy. Lesson learnt.


    Quote Originally Posted by swimcraze
    I am sure your sharing will come to our mind when we are met with a similar situation. Although you didn't have the courage to confront the chap but at least you have the courage now to share your experience with us and admit your fault, hence advising us not to make the same mistake as you.
    I can't be more glad to have my intentions understood so well ... Thank you swimcraze - for reiterating what this thread is all about ...


    I sincerely hope for my encounter to serve as your pseudo-experience; my mistake to be felt as yours - so you will not have to commit the same mistake, to learn what have learnt. Good day! (one free of molesters at least)

  20. #20

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    Sensires, I know how you feel. Some months ago, at an uncrowded train station in the morning, I saw a little boy coming out from a train with his family. He rushed to a seat, picked up a brown pouch and gave it to his dad. I'd seen that thing from some distance but couldn't tell what it was. The father pocketed the pouch while the mother cast a furtive look at my direction, and they all walked away like nothing happened. It took me a long while to guess it must had been a handphone because of the boy's obvious glee (something of value) and the way the father stuck it into his rear pocket. Being a woman and alone, I was afraid to confront them, and moreover, we are of different races. I was really too dumbstruck to react, and then became afraid of making a scene. I still think about it once in a while and it really bothers me.

    Frankly, I think few people have fast reflexes and are able to respond quickly and decisively. Real life is not like what we see in the movies. You can watch a crime happen and be too frozen to do anything! Oh yah and in sociology class years ago, we learnt about something called diffusion of responsibility, (copied from the website) "where individuals know that many others are present, then they as individuals do not bear the full burden of responsibility. They make the assumption that someone else must be taking care of that or surely someone must have done something by now". Read about it here: http://www.cultsock.ndirect.co.uk/MU...diffusion.html

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