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Thread: girls..trouble...

  1. #21
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    Quote Originally Posted by sehsuan
    advice? don't give any. not because i'm not trying to be helpful - but let others settle their own matters of the heart - when they seek opinions, then we'll give our opinions - because whatever the decision, it has to be made by your friend
    good for you sehsuan! this is the best thing i have heard you say, amidst all that suaning me ^_^

  2. #22
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    My opinion ... just dump her. It's hurt to say this but she may be using you as a spare tire while hoping to reconcile with her ex-boyfriend. It is better to end it now when the relationship is still in the early stage than to drag on and make yourself more suffer in the long run.

  3. #23
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakmax
    Got a fren whose gf insisted to remain as 'frens' with her ex. My fren is very sad as she promised to forget her ex but has now changed her mind.

    Now my fren's gf says she is sick and tired of my fren's jealousy.

    (my fren: so u do not want to break off contact with ur ex

    my fren's gf: can i?)

    Any advice?

    Why do gals still want to maintain a relationship with their ex when she was so hurt by him last time? my fren is really hurt..
    whats e big deal.. ask yr frd to stop his egoistic prick attitude.. or he will end up with nothing...
    i hate poessive guys...

  4. #24
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    Dear yeotao.

    Poor man....you sound so hurt and confused. It is indeed a mystery to a girl's heart. I should know since i am one. I feel that your gf is not ready for another relationship yet. She needs time to sort out her thoughts and feelings, to know what she really wants. All your romancing and sweet talking and niceness will not help. She needs to know what she really wants and work towards it. She needs to do what she wants to do, not what she has to do - stop communicating with the ex...etc. Do give HER and YOURSELF some time. She will come back to you when she is ready for you. It's better to be hurt now at the beginning stage than to be hurt later on perhaps in a marriage? There will be more pieces to put up later on when you discover that you are not meant for each other. True that she did change her decision about her ex after seeing you...sounds like she was trying to convince herself that she has gotten over the ex when the truth is that she is still struggling within herself. Most sensible thing to do now is to work out with her what she really wants deep inside her heart...

    take care pal

  5. #25
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    Yeotao, I reckon the best thing to do(though not the easiest) is to take yourself out of the equation. Alternatively, you could take that guy out of the equation.

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by NitroTech
    Yeotao, I reckon the best thing to do(though not the easiest) is to take yourself out of the equation. Alternatively, you could take that guy out of the equation.
    hahaa...not everyone is as muscular as you nitro!!
    the sad truth is that although you may be strong enough to take the ex out of the equation for now, the equation may still not balance since it is all about the affairs of the heart, not clear cut like maths.

  7. #27

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    Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm...................

    My gf left me. I was stupid to have neglected her. In a way she was hurt by me. When I realise my stupidity, I want to make up for it. A relationship does not happen overnight, it gets nurtured and built up. You can't just expect her to leave her ex at a snap of the fingers. They had something beautiful and worthwhile before, you need to understand that.

    I've had a few experience like yours. They just broke up with their bf and went along with me probably because I was there and they needed someone. In the end I chose to let them go because I know that its not me whom they want, I was just a spare (OUCH!). And because I love them enough, I chose to let them go and see them happy. That is the hardest thing a man can do (it bloody hurts). Its easy to say, "if you love her set her free" but it's almost impossible for a human to achieve.

    Look at it at their viewpoint. Look at it from the ex bf's point of view. What if it was you who lost your gf but know it in time and want to make things work again? You'll want another chance.

    I don't think she lied. She just needed the time to understand her initial decision. Men always want immediate answers and cannot wait. So no choice women just give an answer. Its just normal they change their mind. Haven't you already learnt that women are like that? (dun me)

    If she can never fully let go of her past relationship, she can't start another one. It hurts to wait, are you willing to?

  8. #28
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    Quote Originally Posted by swimcraze
    hahaa...not everyone is as muscular as you nitro!!
    the sad truth is that although you may be strong enough to take the ex out of the equation for now, the equation may still not balance since it is all about the affairs of the heart, not clear cut like maths.

    Eh, the latter part of my post was strictly tongue in cheek lah!!

  9. #29

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    If you love a person, set her free. Be glad you've crossed path and know how it feels to be top-of-the-world; to have that silly grin on your face, to be in love. If destiny has plans for the two of you, nature will take its own course. Whatever will be, will be.

  10. #30
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    Que Sara Sara.......

  11. #31
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    This sounds like a "teenage life" episode. Pardon me, but isn't this abit of immature? It's like two little kids playing games... aiyo. she lobe me, he don't love me, blah blah blah.. so sickening.

    Pardon me. Can't help commenting on it.

  12. #32

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    Quote Originally Posted by e_liau
    This sounds like a "teenage life" episode. Pardon me, but isn't this abit of immature? It's like two little kids playing games... aiyo. she lobe me, he don't love me, blah blah blah.. so sickening.

    Pardon me. Can't help commenting on it.
    I think he's just looking for some where to 'release' himself and let it all out.

    I do think everyone has somewhat have problems as such and just want a listening ear and people to talk to.

  13. #33
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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakmax
    when my fren ask her:"if i am not with u now, ur ex called u and want to patch with u, will u do tat."

    the girl remained silent

    Hi tweakmax,

    from this sentence of yours i think that the girl is not ready to step into a new relationship...
    IMHO... your friend might really be a spare tyre already..!!

    So my advice is to ask your friend to cool down ... let her go...!!
    don't try to force her to commit to this new relationship when she is not ready...
    Give her some time and space to decide for herself who is the best guy for her...!

    It hurts ...but i guess this is a better solution...!
    chang tong bu ru duan tong!!

    anyway... all decision is up to your friend... what we can do is suggest to him and thats all...!!


    cheers

  14. #34

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    Quote Originally Posted by NitroTech
    Yeotao, I reckon the best thing to do(though not the easiest) is to take yourself out of the equation. Alternatively, you could take that guy out of the equation.
    wat do u suggest to do to take the guy out of the equation
    Canon 10D/550D /Sigma 17-50mm/Sigma 30mm/Canon 50mm/Sigma 85mm

  15. #35

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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakmax
    wat do u suggest to do to take the guy out of the equation
    Set him up with Nitrotech's sister?
    Just kidding.

  16. #36

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    Quote Originally Posted by tweakmax
    wat do u suggest to do to take the guy out of the equation
    intro him to ur avatar?

  17. #37
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    Quote Originally Posted by Newman
    Set him up with Nitrotech's sister?
    Just kidding.
    i don't have a sister......


    and TweakMax that statement was really tongue in cheek!!!!

  18. #38
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    Quote Originally Posted by HelmetBox
    intro him to ur avatar?
    intro him to MY avatar!!!

  19. #39

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    Maybe yeoteo is just 15 years old.

    You do realise that sometimes in a relationship, you just have to give in and compromise willingly, although its very hurting.. what isn't?

    Give her some time to think it over.. like what SniperD said.. yup.. "My friends keep telling me, that if you really love her, you've gotta set her free, if she returns in time, i know she's mine.. "

    Let her sort her feelings out... If she wishes to continue the relationship with you, you'll know she really loves you.. and well, you'll feel more secure too.. .. just be there for her.. continue to shower her with your love.. and whatever you deem appropriate...

    just my 2 cents
    Last edited by junyang; 26th November 2003 at 03:26 PM.

  20. #40

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    my fren jus called me:

    he sms her at 8am tat he is still waiting becoz she no response

    in the end she sms back, and say:" I AM SORRY."

    so my fren called her, and she said she is sorry abt saying she is sick and tired of my fren's jealousy.

    The reason why she had the outburst was she was buay tahan after seeing my fren's sms abt her inactions(she dun want to be accused of No Action Talk Only, just say sorry and sorry and sorry)

    But I really think she did nothing for my fren regarding the ex.

    my fren told her tat he is willing to let her forget abt her promise regarding the ex...

    i think he has compromised now..is this a good thing??? mebbe he compromised too much

    :mad:
    Canon 10D/550D /Sigma 17-50mm/Sigma 30mm/Canon 50mm/Sigma 85mm

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