I just have to post this here to share the laughter from the funny ways foreign talents based in SG try to speak Engrish and end up sounding really weird... A few weeks ago a guy came up to my counter (I work at a hotel) and showed me a broken shuttle **** which they had borrowed from us the conversation went like this.
Guest: Excuse me, I'm sorry but I seem to have broken your ****.
Me: I beg your pardon sir?
Guest: Your ****... you see i must have hit it too hard and now your **** is damaged... could you get me a new one?
Me: Oh ok sir (Takes a new one and passes it to the guest)
Guest: Oh why dun you give me 2 cocks instead?
Me: Trying my best not to laugh and begins to search for another one was stopped halfway when guest said the following
Guest: No no that **** is no good give me a better one pls.
Me: Takes the best "****" i could find and passes it to guest. After he leaves I run into the back office and laughed my eyeballs out!
That was last week.... today i went to lunch at subway and this worker at the counter is addressing one of the female customers. She orders like this.
Female Customer: Hi could i have the oven roasted chicken breast?
Staff: Sure madam, what size breast would you like?
OMG!!!! I NEARLY DIED THERE WHEN HE SAID THAT!!!! hahahahaha