20th November 2003, 08:51 PM
EZ Link Card 2005 Advertisement - You Bleed We Ride
Welcome to EZ Link Card 2005. For the the very cheap price of $2,000, citizens of Singapore can now obtain the exclusive EZ-link card which comes with the latest technologies. First off, the EZ-link card now comes with the most advanced polymer technology which renders it totally indestructible. Shoot a GPMG bullet into it and it blocks the bullet. You can use it as a bulletproof card to protect ur heart. We help you survive to ride.
If you experience drowning while undergoing survival training in NS, EZ Link Card 2000 has a gamma impulse capability to resuscitate the heart beat. Don't leave home without it! We keep you alive to ride.
We have also put in a P8 Intel chip that allows ur EZ link card to compute how much money you need to add for the stored value and deduct the money straight with a tie-up with GIRO. So do not need to worry about fare increases anymore, everything is invisible : we increase, you ride.
EZ Link 2005 also boasts 200 gigabytes of harddrive space so that you can store thousands of dollars in the card for the future public transport needs of Singapore. We deduct, you ride.
This amazing piece of **** also has the latest GPRS technologies so that even if your lost in Africa, you can still find out in how many minutes the MRT train is going to arrive in Buangkok station. Wherever you are, we let you ride.
For suspicious wives, EZ Link 2005 (couples' card) has a plug-in program which detects female moaning sounds up to 20 metres radius .. so that you WILL know your husband is f...cking around. Your husband riding the wrong bus, we tell you.
Finally, if all this gizmos are still not enough, the EZ-link Card 2005 has serrated platinum edges to help you bleed more if your unhappy with life. From birth to death ... EZ-Link makes it EZ, you bleed, we ride.
(fine print : To obtain EZ Link 2005, please put in a bid for a COE)