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Thread: Microsoft Customer Service

  1. #1
    Pet Photographer

    Default Microsoft Customer Service

    from the WordPerfect Help line which was transcribed from a recording
    monitoring the customer care department. Needless to say,
    the Help Desk employee was fired however, he is currently suing the
    WordPerfect organization for "Termination without Cause."

    This is the actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support
    employee (now I know why they record these conversations)

    "Rich Hall computer assistance; may I help you?"
    "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect."
    "What sort of trouble?"
    "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."
    "Went away?"
    "They disappeared."
    "Hmmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    "It's a blank; it won' t accept anything when I type."
    "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    "How do I tell?"
    "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    "What's a sea-prompt?"
    "Never mind, can you move your cursor around the screen?"
    "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."
    "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
    "What's a monitor?"
    "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a
    little light that tells you when it's on?"
    "I don't know."
    "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord
    goes into it. Can you see that?"
    "Yes, I think so."
    "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the
    "Yes, it is."
    "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two
    cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
    "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other
    "Okay, here it is."
    "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of
    your computer."
    "I can't reach."
    "Uh-huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
    "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
    "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle it's because it's dark."

    "Yes, the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from
    the window."
    "Well, turn on the office light then."
    "I can't."
    "No? Why not?"
    "Because there's a power failure."
    "A power.......a power failure?.... Aha, Okay, we've got it licked now. Do
    you still have the boxes and manuals and packing stuff your computer came
    "Well, yes, I keep them in the closet."
    "Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack it up just like it was
    when you got it. Then take it back to the store you bought it from."
    "Really? Is it that bad?"
    "Yes, I'm afraid it is."
    "Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?"
    "Tell them you're too stupid to own a computer."

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002


    I don't know how this joke got started, but I have read another version with more or less the same dialog but featuring a different product and a different company.

    By the way WordPerfect is not a Microsoft product so I wonder why you used "Microsoft Customer Service" as your subject title.

    Maybe some legal attorney of Microsoft will see this thread and.....
    As complexity rises, precise statements lose meaning and meaningful statements lose precision.

  3. #3
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2002


    Microsoft dun own wordperfect. Be careful of what you type
    Canon Lover :)


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