Well, I was avoiding the description "bitter".
Jaded and cynical perhaps?
I was just wondering what Nisa went through to make her feel this way, or was it just a platform for discussion's purpose?
So it WAS for discussion only?
There are a lot of factors I find disturbing actually, but I don't think this is the right place to talk about it.
Suicides are selfish.
It's the easy way out of their problems but people who actually attempted or committed suicides never thought about the feelings of the people they left behind.
"No man is an island." -something we've heard repeatedly but how many really understood the meaning of it? For the youngsters especially.... to me, it's abhorrent for them to think of suicide. All that potential yet unleashed... the worst thing would be the people they left behind. I've seen parents at the funerals of their kids and its a heart-wrenching sight.
I recall something I've read in a book
When you're dead, there is nothing left. At least that's what I felt and still feel when I read this article 4 years back in 2004."Death is always less painful and easier than life... And yet we do not, day to day, choose death. Because ultimately, death is not the opposite of life, but the opposite of choice. Death is what you get when there are no choices left to make.”
Sorry for ranting on about it but suicide is a raw topic for me... especially youngsters committing suicides. Makes me want to smack them! The grief of their parents and the guilt of their friends at being unable to prevent the tragedy... the feelings of those left behind are sadly neglected by the selfish need to "end things". Just feel that it's so unnecessary.
U talk about people not thinking about the feelings of those whom they left behind. Did you ever think of those who choose to leave?
Most of them in the frist place, think that they are a problem to their families. And somehow if they would die, then the family might have less a problem to deal with.
Grief and guilt? oh please! Don't say there are grief and guilt when the dead person had already made the choice to move on. Had they been more sensitive to their friends and FAMILY, they might not even have these moments of grief and guilt.
And it's not an easy way out. Some are still struggling everyday to live on, just because they feel guilt at even thinking that death will bring sorrow and guilt to the living, when the living don't actually care when they are alive.
Last edited by Nisa; 28th November 2008 at 08:24 AM.
well, I guess you are entitled to your own opinions and frankly speaking, I am entitled to mine. So if they run parallel, there's nothing we can do about it. We'll just have to agree to disagree on this issue.
But back to the title of the thread (and for my peace of mind. In case there are any young kids reading), please do note that suicide occur when the "pain" of living (no matter how irrelevant or frivolous it may seem to the bystanders) outweighs the "resources" of coping with that "pain". Image a weighing scale where "pain" is weighed down while "coping resources" are not enough to balance the "pain". Suicide thus, is a way to escape the pain and as such, a feeling of relief from the pain. Do take note that "relief" is a feeling and this feeling can only be felt by the LIVING.
For some of the teenagers, I guess their "coping resources" are simply not enough sometimes. That's when the support of friends and family comes in.
Suicide is a cry for help. Sometimes, when they've already committed it, its simply too late. If your friends and family are not supportive, then perhaps you can ask yourself why are u wasting your time with them? You can't choose your family but surely you can choose your friends. Perhaps its time to find friends who can actually give you support.
I am just asking you to look at the other side of the coin.
And I agreed that feeling relief can only be felt by the LIVING, just because i don't know how a dead person would and would not feel.
Sadly to say, MOST people think giving up life is a form of weakness, and those who does that are stupid, selfish, and so on. But to SOME (maybe a minority) ppl, death is THE right choice to make.
Not that I am supporting ppl to commit it. What I felt is a need to be more sensitive and understanding towards ppl who need help would not, due to whatever stigmas they (those who need help) might think there is. Recognize that choosing death is a choice among others. Helping them to explore the different choices.
not all the people who suicide are dumb, or are weak, etc. i never said that, i just said that the boy in the newspaper report seemed to be rather silly, based on the facts and postulations made there. same for a schoolgirl getting her hair cut by a teacher. for these 2 cases, dying or threatening to suicide seems just so trivial. of course, probably one could say that in their own minds they were trapped, they needed to get out, but there are so much more heavier things to get trapped in. that was the point i was trying to make earlier.
sometimes life can be unbearably heavy. it can also be unbearably light; themes that you seem to touch on all at once. it is heavy because it is burdensome, there is duty, responsibility, connections that bog us down. yet at the end of the day it is so light, so unremarkable, when you realise that 99% of the people will never leave their mark behind when they leave.
Last edited by night86mare; 28th November 2008 at 09:59 AM.
That is why there is a need to expose them to other local and international society problems. Encourage teens to reach out to others, expand their society circles and letting them know they do matter, in every little ways. They are able to make a choice (even with the limited choices available) and their opinons do matter.