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Thread: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

  1. #981
    Member mojopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    anyone knows where I can get a Personal Waistband Voice Amplifier ?
    You are who you are. Shoot what you enjoy.
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  2. #982
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    O HAii O Haiii...
    The nocturnal cat has woken up! *streetch*

    Quote Originally Posted by mojopy View Post
    wah... 2hours ago is like 6am
    your sleep time is getting very late hor
    No, actually it's getting earlier... was sleeping at 8-9am for past several days...

    Quote Originally Posted by mojopy View Post
    anyone knows where I can get a Personal Waistband Voice Amplifier ?
    What is that?

    Anyone knows how much I should charge for selling of editorial photos?
    Photos are of a press conference... speakers, etc...
    The best photographer is one who is inspired by the innate nature of his subjects.

  3. #983
    Senior Member luna_sea83's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    O Hai!

  4. #984
    Member mojopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Quote Originally Posted by luna_sea83 View Post
    O Hai!
    BOO!
    You are who you are. Shoot what you enjoy.
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  5. #985
    Senior Member luna_sea83's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    quiet day

  6. #986
    Member mojopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Quote Originally Posted by luna_sea83 View Post
    quiet day
    yah lor. even the weather outside is making more noise than here
    You are who you are. Shoot what you enjoy.
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  7. #987
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Quote Originally Posted by mojopy View Post
    anyone knows where I can get a Personal Waistband Voice Amplifier ?
    Check at the electronics stores....

    places like Funan or People's park may have...
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  8. #988
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Quote Originally Posted by WuffRuff View Post
    Anyone knows how much I should charge for selling of editorial photos?
    Photos are of a press conference... speakers, etc...
    One time use?
    or?
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  9. #989
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Quote Originally Posted by zac08 View Post
    One time use?
    or?
    One time use.
    The best photographer is one who is inspired by the innate nature of his subjects.

  10. #990
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Quote Originally Posted by WuffRuff View Post
    One time use.
    Can hoot one or not?

    Depends on the size you giving also... mebbe in the range of 10's to 100's a piece?

    You can check with them on the number they want also... if more, you can charge them slightly lower per piece... if less then charge higher...
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  11. #991
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    If restaurants functioned like Microsoft....

    Patron: Waiter!

    Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?

    Patron: There's a fly in my soup!

    Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.

    Patron: No, it's still there.

    Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.

    Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.

    Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?

    Patron: A SOUP bowl!

    Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?

    Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!

    Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?

    Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!

    Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?

    Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day??

    Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.

    Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?

    Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.

    Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.

    Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check.

    Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.

    Patron: This is potato soup.

    Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.

    Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.

    Waiter leaves.

    Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!

    The check:

    Soup of the Day ................................... $5.00
    Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day ........... $2.50
    Access to support ................................. $1.00
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  12. #992
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    IF ARCHITECTS TO WORK LIKE SOFTWARE DEVELOPERS

    Dear Architect:

    Please design and build me a house. I am not quite sure of what I
    need, so you should use your discretion.

    My house should have between two and forty-five bedrooms. Just
    make sure the plans are such that the bedrooms can be easily added or
    deleted. When you bring the blueprints to me, I will make the final
    decision of what I want. Also, bring me the cost breakdown for each
    configuration so that I can arbitrarily pick one.

    Keep in mind that the house I ultimately choose must cost less than
    the one I am currently living in. Make sure, however, that you correct all
    the deficiencies that exist in my current house (the floor of my kitchen
    vibrates when I walk across it, and the walls don't have nearly enough
    insulation in them).

    As you design, also keep in mind that I want to keep yearly
    maintenance costs as low as possible. This should mean the
    incorporation of extra-cost features like aluminium, vinyl or composite
    siding. (If you choose not to specify aluminium, be prepared to explain
    your decision in detail.)

    Please take care that modern design practices and the latest
    materials are used in construction of the house, as I want it to be a
    showplace for the most up-to-date ideas and methods. Be alerted,
    however, that the kitchen should be designed to accommodate, among
    other things, my 1952 Gibson refigerator.

    To ensure that you are building the correct house for our entire
    family, make certain that you contact each of our children, and also our
    in- laws. My mother-in-law will have very strong feelings about how the
    house should be designed, since she visits us at least once a year.
    Make sure that you weigh all of these options carefully and come to the
    right decision. I, however, retain the right to overrule any choices that
    you make.

    Please don't bother me with small details right now. Your job is to
    develop the overall plans for the house: get the big picture. At this time,
    for example, it is not appropriate to be choosing the colour of the carpet.
    However, keep in mind that my wife likes blue.

    Also, do not worry at this time about acquiring the resources to
    build the house itself. Your first priority is to develop detailed plans and
    specifications. Once I approve these plans, however, I would expect
    the house to be under roof within 48 hours.

    While you are designing this house specifically for me, keep in mind
    that sooner or later I will have to sell it to someone else. It therefore
    should have appeal to a wide variety of potential buyers. Please make
    sure before you finalize the plans that there is a consensus of the
    population in my area that they like the features this house has.

    I advise you to run up and look at my neighbour's house that he
    constructed last year. We like it a great deal. It has many features that
    we would also like in our new home, particularly the 25 meter swimming
    pool. With careful engineering, I believe that you can design this into our
    new home without impacting the final cost.

    Please prepare a complete set of blueprints. It is not necessary at
    this time to do the real design, since they will be used only for
    construction bids. Be advised, however, that you will be held
    accountable for any increase of construction costs as a result of later
    design changes.

    You must be thrilled to be working on as interesting a project as this!
    To be able to use the latest techniques and materials and to be given
    such freedom in your designs is something that can't happen very often.
    Contact me as soon as possible with your complete ideas and plans.

    P.S.

    My wife has just told me that she disagrees with many of the instructions
    that I've given you in this letter. As architect, it is your responsibility to
    resolve these differences. I have tried in the past and have been unable
    to accomplish this. If you can't handle this responsibility, I will have to
    find another architect.

    P.P.S.

    Perhaps what I need is not a house at all, but a travel trailer. Please
    advise me as soon as possible if this is the case.
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  13. #993
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Predictions

    "This 'telephone' has too many shortcomings to be seriously
    considered as a means of communication. The device is inherently
    of no value to us."
    --Western Union internal memo, 1876.

    "Computers in the future may weigh no more than 1.5 tons."
    --Popular Mechanics, forecasting the relentless march of
    science, 1949

    "I think there is a world market for maybe five computers."
    --Thomas Watson, chairman of IBM, 1943

    "640K ought to be enough for anybody."
    -- Bill Gates, 1981

    "I have traveled the length and breadth of this country and talked
    with the best people, and I can assure you that data processing is
    a fad that won't last out the year."
    --The editor in charge of business books for Prentice Hall,
    1957

    "But what... is it good for?"
    --Engineer at the Advanced Computing Systems Division of IBM,
    1968, commenting on the microchip.

    "There is no reason anyone would want a computer in their home."
    --Ken Olson, president, chairman and founder of Digital
    Equipment Corp., 1977

    "The wireless music box has no imaginable commercial value. Who
    would pay for a message sent to nobody in particular?"
    --David Sarnoff's associates in response to his urgings for
    investment in the radio in the 1920s.

    "The concept is interesting and well-formed, but in order to earn
    better than a 'C,' the idea must be feasible."
    --A Yale University management professor in response to Fred
    Smith's paper proposing reliable overnight delivery service.
    (Smith went on to found Federal Express Corp.)

    "Who the hell wants to hear actors talk?"
    --H.M. Warner, Warner Brothers, 1927.

    "I'm just glad it'll be Clark Gable who's falling on his face and
    not Gary Cooper."
    --Gary Cooper on his decision not to take the leading role in
    "Gone With The Wind."

    "We don't like their sound, and guitar music is on the way out."
    --Decca Recording Co. rejecting the Beatles, 1962.

    "Heavier-than-air flying machines are impossible."
    --Lord Kelvin, president, Royal Society, 1895.

    "So we went to Atari and said, 'Hey, we've got this amazing thing,
    even built with some of your parts, and what do you think about
    funding us? Or we'll give it to you. We just want to do it. Pay
    our salary, we'll come work for you.' And they said, 'No.' So
    then we went to Hewlett-Packard, and they said, 'Hey, we don't
    need you. You haven't got through college yet.'"
    --Apple Computer Inc. founder Steve Jobs on attempts to get
    Atari and H-P interested in his and Steve Wozniak's personal
    computer.

    "Professor Goddard does not know the relation between action and
    reaction and the need to have something better than a vacuum
    against which to react. He seems to lack the basic knowledge
    ladled out daily in high schools."
    --1921 New York Times editorial about Robert Goddard's
    revolutionary rocket work.

    "Drill for oil? You mean drill into the ground to try and find oil?
    You're crazy."
    --Drillers who Edwin L. Drake tried to enlist to his project
    to drill for oil in 1859.

    "Airplanes are interesting toys but of no military value."
    --Marechal Ferdinand Foch, Professor of Strategy, Ecole
    Superieure de Guerre.

    "Louis Pasteur's theory of germs is ridiculous fiction".
    --Pierre Pachet, Professor of Physiology at Toulouse, 1872

    "Everything that can be invented has been invented."
    --Charles H. Duell, Commissioner, U.S. Office of Patents,
    1899.
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  14. #994
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Everything I Need to Know, I Learned in Corporate America.


    1. Indecision is the key to flexibility.

    2. You can't tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

    3. There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

    4. Happiness is merely the remission of pain.

    5. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

    6. Sometimes too much to drink is not enough.

    7. The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.

    8. The careful application of terror is also a form of communication.

    9. Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

    10. Things are more like they are today than they ever were before.

    11. Anything worth fighting for is worth fighting dirty for.

    12. Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

    13. Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.

    14. I have seen the truth and it makes no sense.

    15. Suicide is the most sincere form of self-criticism.

    16. If you think there is good in everybody, you haven't met everybody.

    17. All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

    18. If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

    19. One seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

    20. Every time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

    21. Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

    22. The more you run over a dead cat, the flatter it gets.

    23. There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

    24. This is as bad as it can get, but don't count on it.

    25. Never wrestle a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.

    26. The trouble with life is, you're halfway through it before you
    realize it's a do-it-yourself thing.
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  15. #995
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    From New Scientist, 28 august 93, Feedback column:

    "The National Westminster Bank admitted last month that it keeps
    personal information about its customers-such as their political
    affiliation-on computer. But now Computer Weekly reveals that a
    financial institution, sadly unnamed, has gone one better and moved
    into the realm of personal abuse.
    The institution decided to mailshot 2000 of its richest customers,
    inviting them to buy extra services. One of its computer programmers
    wrote a program to search through its databases and select its
    customers automatically. He tested the program with an imaginary
    customer called Rich *******.
    Unfortunately, an error resulted in all 2000 letters being addressed
    "Dear Rich *******". The luckless programmer was subsequently sacked."
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  16. #996
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    ADVERTS part 1


    As the following classified classics will demonstrate, there are often
    more laughs on the advertising and classified pages than you can find
    in the cartoons and comic strips:

    Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.

    A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by
    waitresses in appetizing forms.

    Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00.

    For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and
    large drawers.

    For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, pottie
    chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.

    Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover.

    Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to
    take home, too.

    Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory.

    Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night.

    We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

    No matter what your topcoat is made of, this miracle spray will make it
    really repellent.

    For Sale. Three canaries of undermined sex.

    For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy.

    Creative daily specials, including select offerings of beef, foul, fresh
    vagetables, salads, quiche.

    7 ounces of choice sirloin steak, boiled to your likeness and smothered
    with golden fried onion rings.

    Great Dames for sale.

    Have several very old dresses from grandmother in beautiful condition.

    Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it.

    20 dozen bottles of excellent Old Tawny Port, sold to pay for charges,
    the owner having lost sight of, and bottled by us last year.

    Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children.

    Vacation Special: have your home exterminated.

    If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis
    Cemetery. It boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and
    Chopin.

    Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim
    in the lovely pool while you drink it all in.
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  17. #997
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    ADVERTS part 2


    The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other
    athletic facilities.

    Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours.

    Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates.
    Automatically burns toast.

    Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots
    of women wear nothing else.

    Stock up and save. Limit: one.

    Save regularly in our bank. You'll never reget it.

    We build bodies that last a lifetime.

    Offer expires December 31 or while supplies last .

    This is the model home for your future. It was panned by Better Homes
    and Gardens.

    For Sale--Diamonds $20; microscopes $15.

    For Rent: 6-room hated apartment.

    Man, honest. Will take anything.

    Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References
    required.

    Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.

    Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.

    Used Cars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

    Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.

    Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play.

    Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential.

    Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink.

    3-year-old teacher need for pre-school. Experience preferred.

    Our experienced Mom will care for your child. Fenced yard, meals, and
    smacks included.

    Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops.

    Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll
    never go anywhere again.

    See ladies blouses. 50% off!

    Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204.

    Wanted: Preparer of food. Must be dependable, like the food business,
    and be willing to get hands dirty.

    Illiterate? Write today for free help.

    Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross
    and salary.

    Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume
    general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth
    of family.

    Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for
    efficient beating.

    Mother's helper--peasant working conditions.

    Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale.

    And now, the Superstore--unequaled in size, unmatched in variety,
    unrivaled inconvenience.

    We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for
    $1.00.
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  18. #998
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Adverts... bonus

    And these beauties from the radio:

    Ladies and gentlemen, now you can have a bikini for a ridiculous figure.

    Be with us again next Saturday at 10 p.m. for "High Fidelity," designed
    to help music lovers increase their reproduction.

    When you are thirsty, try 7-Up,the refreshing drink in the green bottle
    with the big 7 on it and u-p after.

    Tune in next week for another series of classical music programs from
    the Canadian Broadcorping Castration.
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  19. #999
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    A woman had been married four times and was still a virgin.
    Somebody asked her how that could be possible.

    "Well," she said. "The first time I married an octogenarian
    and he died before we could consummate the marriage."

    "The second time I married a naval officer and war broke
    out on our wedding day."

    "The third time I married a MicroSoft Windows programmer and
    he just sat on the edge of the bed and kept telling me how
    good it was going to be."

    "The fourth time, I married a computer technician. He'd sit
    on the edge of the bed and tell me, "I'll have it up in 30
    minutes."
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  20. #1000
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XXIX

    Q&A: THE PENTIUM FDIV BUG

    Q: How many Pentium designers does it take to screw in a light bulb?
    A: 1.99904274017, but that's close enough for non-technical people.

    Q: What do you get when you cross a Pentium PC with a research grant?
    A: A mad scientist.

    Q: What's another name for the "Intel Inside" sticker they put on
    Pentiums?
    A1: Warning label.
    A2: Truth in advertising.

    Q: What do you call a series of FDIV instructions on a Pentium?
    A: Successive approximations.

    Q: Complete the following word analogy: Add is to Subtract as Multiply
    is to
    1) Divide
    2) ROUND
    3) RANDOM
    4) On a Pentium, all of the above
    A: Number 4.

    Q: What algorithm did Intel use in the Pentium's floating point divider?
    A: "Life is like a box of chocolates." (Source: F. Gump of Intel)

    Q: Why didn't Intel call the Pentium the 586?
    A: Because they added 486 and 100 on the first Pentium and got
    585.999983605.

    Q: According to Intel, the Pentium conforms to the IEEE standards
    754 and 854 for floating point arithmetic. If you fly in aircraft
    designed using a Pentium, what is the correct pronunciation of
    "IEEE"?
    A: Aaaaaaaiiiiiiiiieeeeeeeeeeeee!

    TOP TEN NEW INTEL SLOGANS FOR THE PENTIUM
    --------------------------------------------------------------------------

    9.9999973251 It's a FLAW, Dammit, not a Bug
    8.9999163362 It's Close Enough, We Say So
    7.9999414610 Nearly 300 Correct Opcodes
    6.9999831538 You Don't Need to Know What's Inside
    5.9999835137 Redefining the PC--and Mathematics As Well
    4.9999999021 We Fixed It, Really
    3.9998245917 Division Considered Harmful
    2.9991523619 Why Do You Think They Call It *Floating* Point?
    1.9999103517 We're Looking for a Few Good Flaws
    0.9999999998 The Errata Inside
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

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