Page 49 of 51 FirstFirst ... 2439444748495051 LastLast
Results 961 to 980 of 1003

Thread: EXPOSE yourself - XI

  1. #961

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    sleep time.

    carbonmade
    mαke.believe

  2. #962
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by Royaux View Post

    anti-milowalrus sniper rifle.
    Nice....

    M82 ??
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  3. #963
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    And I just got home.... haiz
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  4. #964
    Deregistered riotvan's Avatar
    Join Date
    May 2008
    Location
    at your bedroom window
    Posts
    1,489

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by Royaux View Post
    sleep time.


    so cute!!!!!1111

    Quote Originally Posted by zac08 View Post
    And I just got home.... haiz

    where'd you go?

  5. #965

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by zac08 View Post
    Nice....

    M82 ??
    nope...
    belongs to this guy...

    carbonmade
    mαke.believe

  6. #966

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by riotvan View Post
    where'd you go?
    i miss you so... seems like its been forever that you've been gone.



    zzz in case you guys think i'm saying that to van, its the lyrics of a song.

  7. #967

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by riotvan View Post
    so cute!!!!!1111
    thank you yes i very cute

    __
    k really go sleep now. good night.
    carbonmade
    mαke.believe

  8. #968
    Senior Member Leong23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    within myself
    Posts
    3,186

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by riotvan View Post
    again1!!!! Ogmg
    More to come if you are not sleeping. Busy doing work tonight?

  9. #969

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by Royaux View Post
    thank you yes i very cute

    __
    k really go sleep now. good night.
    good night!

  10. #970
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by riotvan View Post
    so cute!!!!!1111




    where'd you go?
    GF's place
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  11. #971

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by Royaux View Post
    thank you yes i very cute

    __
    k really go sleep now. good night.

    Yu still beru cute!

  12. #972
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by Royaux View Post
    thank you yes i very cute

    __
    k really go sleep now. good night.
    Nitez
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  13. #973
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by Dream Merchant View Post
    Yu still beru cute!
    Wow....

    Zhaiman noot sleepiog yet?
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  14. #974
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    When Astronaut Neil Armstrong first walked on the moon, he not only gave his famous one small step for man, one giant leap for mankind statement but followed it by several remarks, usual between him, the other astronauts and Mission Control. Just before he re-entered the lander, however, he made the enigmatic remark, "Good luck Mr. Gorsky".

    Many people at NASA thought it was a casual remark concerning some rival Soviet Cosmonaut. However, upon checking, there was no Gorsky in either the Russian or American space programs.

    Over the years many people questioned Armstrong as to what the Good luck Mr. Gorsky statement meant, but Armstrong always just smiled.

    Four years ago, while answering questions following a speech, a reporter brought up the 26 year old question to Armstrong. This time he finally responded. Mr. Gorsky had finally died and so Neil Armstrong felt he could answer the question.

    When he was a kid, he was playing baseball with a friend in the backyard. His friend hit a fly ball which landed in the front of his neighbors' bedroom windows. His neighbors were Mr. & Mrs. Gorsky. As he leaned down to pick up the ball, young Armstrong heard Mrs. Gorsky shouting at Mr. Gorsky.

    "Oral sex? You want oral sex? You'll get oral sex when the kid next door walks on the moon!"
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  15. #975
    Senior Member Leong23's Avatar
    Join Date
    Oct 2007
    Location
    within myself
    Posts
    3,186

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by zac08 View Post
    Wow....

    Zhaiman noot sleepiog yet?
    He come and spot check.

  16. #976
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Joe was moderately successful in the career, but as he got older he was increasingly hampered by incredible headaches. When his personal hygiene and love life started to suffer, he sought medical help. After being referred from one specialist to another, he finally came across a doctor who solved the problem. "The good news is I can cure your headaches..."

    "The bad news is that it will require castration. You have a very rare condition which causes your testicles to press up against the base of your spine. The pressure creates a headache. The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."

    Joe was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he has anything to live for, but decided he had no choice but to go under the knife.

    When he left the hospital, his mind was clear, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

    He walked past a men's clothing store and thought, "That's what I need: a new suit." He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I'd like a new suit." The salesman eyed him briefly and said, "Let's see...size 44 long."

    Joe laughed, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job," the salesman said.

    Joe tried on the suit. It fit perfectly. As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"

    Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let's see...34 sleeve and... 16 and a half neck"

    Joe was surprised, &quotThat's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job."

    Joe tried on the shirt, and it fit perfectly. As Joe adjusted the collar in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about new shoes?"

    Joe was on a roll and said, "Sure..." The salesman eyed Joe's feet and said, "Let's see...9 and a half... wide."

    Joe was astonished, "That's right, how did you know?"

    "It's my job."

    Joe was feeling great, when the salesman asked, &quotHow about some new underwear?"

    Joe thought for a second and said, "Sure.." The salesman stepped back, eyed Joe's waist and said, "Let's see... size 36."

    Joe laughed, "No, I've worn size 34 since I was 18 years old." The salesman shook his head, "You can't wear a size 34. It would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  17. #977
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by Leong23 View Post
    He come and spot check.
    Yeah lor...

    now quiet again
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  18. #978
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Steve is shopping for a new motorcycle. He finally finds one for a great price. The motorcycle is missing a seal, though, so whenever it rains Steve has to smear Vaseline over the spot where the seal should be.

    Steve’s girlfriend is having him over for dinner to meet her parents one evening. He drives his new motorcycle to his girlfriend’s house.

    She is waiting outside for him when he arrives. "No matter what happens at dinner tonight, don't say a word. Our family had a fight a while ago about doing the dinner dishes. We haven't done any since... and the first person to speak at dinner has to do them."

    Steve sits down for dinner and soon notices that his girlfriend wasn’t exaggerating. It is just how she described it. Dishes are piled up to the ceiling in the kitchen and nobody is saying a word. Steve decides to have a little fun. He grabs his girlfriend, throws her onto the table and has sex with her in front of her parents. His girlfriend is a little flustered, her father is obviously livid, and her mother is horrified. Yet, when Steve and his girlfriend resume their places at the dinner table, nobody says a word.

    A few minutes later, Steve grabs his girlfriend’s mom, throws her onto the table and does a repeat performance. Now his girlfriend is furious, her father is boiling, and her mother is a little more pleased. But still, there is complete silence at the table.

    Suddenly, there is a loud clap of thunder and it starts to rain. Steve remembers his motorcycle outside and so he jumps up and grabs his jar of Vaseline.

    With a look of terror in his eyes, the girlfriend’s father backs away from the table and exclaims, "Okay, enough already, I'll do the damn dishes!"
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  19. #979

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Quote Originally Posted by zac08 View Post
    Wow....

    Zhaiman noot sleepiog yet?
    'Zhaiman'???

  20. #980
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
    Join Date
    Feb 2005
    Location
    East
    Posts
    11,755

    Default Re: EXPOSE yourself - XI

    Once upon a time there lived a woman who had a maddening passion for baked
    beans. She loved them but unfortunately they had always had a very
    embarrassing and somewhat lively reaction to her. Then one day she met a guy
    and fell in love. When it became apparent that they would marry she thought
    to herself, " He is such a sweet and gentleman, he would never go for this
    carrying on." So she made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
    Some months later her car broke down on the way home from work. Since she
    lived in the country she called her husband and told him that she would be
    late because she had to walk home. On her way she passed a small diner and
    the odor of the baked beans was more than she could stand.
    Since she still had miles to walk, she figured that she would walk off any
    ill effects by the time she reached home. So, she stopped at the diner and
    before she knew it, she had consumed three large orders of baked beans.
    All the way home she putt-putted. And upon arriving home she felt reasonably
    sure she could control it. Her husband seemed excited to see her and
    exclaimed delightedly, "Darling, I have a surprise for dinner tonight." He
    then blindfolded
    her and led her to her chair at the table. She seated herself and just as he
    was about to remove the blindfold from his wife,the telephone rang. He made
    her promise not to touch the blindfold until he returned. He then went to
    answer the phone.
    The baked beans she had consumed were still affecting her and the pressure
    was becoming almost unbearable, so while her husband was out of the room she
    seized the opportunity, shifted her weight to one leg and let it go. It was
    not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in
    front of pulpwood mill. She took her napkin and fanned the air around her
    vigorously. Then, she shifted to the other cheek and ripped three more, which
    reminded her of cooked cabbage. Keeping her
    ears tuned to the conversation in the other room, she went on like this for
    another ten minutes. When the phone farewells signaled the end of her
    freedom, she fanned the air a few more times with her napkin, placed it on
    her lap and folded her hands upon it, smiling contentedly to herself. She was
    the picture of innocence when her husband returned, apologizing for taking so
    long, he asked her if she peeked, and she assured him that she had not. At
    this point, he removed the blindfold, and she was surprised!!
    There were twelve dinner guests seated around the table to wish her a "Happy
    Birthday"!!!
    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •