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Thread: Marriage in Singapore

  1. #21

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    I agree getting married in s'pore is ex... but I guess it's because you are ready to start a family this special person that why you want to get married...

    cannot put a figure into marriage... if you do, there will be alot of unnecessary quarrels related to money matters...

  2. #22

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by m3lv1nh0 View Post
    Love conquers all...
    Idealists will die in SG...

    The situation in SG right now is pretty daunting for new couples now due to wages being stagnant for a long time, inflation and housing costs... so it never hurts to over-analyze or overestimate your finances, 'coz the risk of not doing so will simply land you in a financial mess.

    Personally, I am just looking forward to migrating... SG is not a country you can retire easily, sigh...
    Olympus EM-1, 7-14/2.8, 12-40/2.8, 40-150/2.8, 17/1.8, 25/1.2, 60/2.8

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by rayz View Post
    cannot put a figure into marriage... if you do, there will be alot of unnecessary quarrels related to money matters...
    but in Sg we must do our sums & be on the safe side. otherwise the lack of $$ will undo marriages!

    Quote Originally Posted by m3lv1nh0 View Post
    Love conquers all...
    hopefully victory is not empty lah...

    Quote Originally Posted by chongkm View Post
    Idealists will die in SG...

    Personally, I am just looking forward to migrating... SG is not a country you can retire easily, sigh...
    maybe 65% idealist + 35% rationalist?.. i am rationalising...

    Quote Originally Posted by creampuff View Post
    Money obviously is important whether one is married or not and we like in a society that epitomises the pursuit of money. Each one of us can compute our finances and make a judgement whether one can afford to get married or not. But the fact remains is it still a judgement call based on how we project the kind of lifestyle we envisage and expenses related to it.

    However a lot of people I know today "count the cost" of having a relationship and ultimately whether to get married and to eventually raise a family. I know of so many who are married to their careers and the quantifiable and tangible financial rewards that come with it that they are unwilling to "sacrifice" for the uncertainty of marriage and the prospect of raising a family. I know of singles who baulk at the idea of marriage, and it is not because of the lack of finances. I also know of married couples who make a lot of money but are unprepared to give up their current lifestyle to want to have kids.

    To me this is sadly a phenomena endemic among Singaporeans where people count the cost upfront and make decisions based on a what's in it for me mindset. Unfortunately a marriage is a journey based on what one puts into it. There is no way to quantify the intangibles, nor is there a way to foresee ahead. I know lots of happily married couples who didn't make a computation of their finances and who certainly aren't rich but have a strong faith that as a couple, they could make a life together notwithstanding their finances. Yes money is important but you don't need money to make a marriage work or to have kids.
    ahem, the phase "fools rush in" applies to couples who tie the knot too hastily. some never gave a thought about their financial capability. then expect a "nanny" to bail them out of financial trouble.

    for those who can well afford marriage, kids & the whole package, its their freedom of choice. i would respect their descision as they can more than take care of themselves & maybe even help those closely related to them. the idea of marriage should never be forced onto them by peers, parents or society.

    for those with an unshakeable faith in their marriage but financially struggling to cope, maybe its their close relatives, grassroots orgs o charitable orgs that are helping some tide them through? then personally, surely i wouldn't like to add such a burden to society. a burden which would have been a my very own undoing from the start.
    Last edited by sORe-EyEz; 16th July 2008 at 11:45 AM.

  4. #24
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    there are "families" that live on less than $2K per month. Y CAN'T U?

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by rayz View Post
    cannot put a figure into marriage... if you do, there will be alot of unnecessary quarrels related to money matters...
    What about marrying a rich wife?

  6. #26

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    What about marrying a rich wife?
    Good idea~! still looking so that she can fund my equipements... LOL

  7. #27

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    really have to do your sums before marriage...
    a lot of married couple break up is due to money... as times goes by, love is not enough...
    still need to put rice on the table....

    n not forgetting our million dollars ministar who say that raising wages is not the solution...

  8. #28
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by auron View Post
    really have to do your sums before marriage...
    a lot of married couple break up is due to money... as times goes by, love is not enough...
    still need to put rice on the table....

    n not forgetting our million dollars ministar who say that raising wages is not the solution...
    If every couple really do the sums before marriage, then there may not be many marriages in Singapore.

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by auron View Post
    really have to do your sums before marriage...
    a lot of married couple break up is due to money... as times goes by, love is not enough...
    still need to put rice on the table....

    n not forgetting our million dollars ministar who say that raising wages is not the solution...
    cos they've come up with baby bonus, & now marriage bonus in the pipeline?

    it would be tagged to combined income of the newly weds + size of current homes they live in. would i get a "bonus" if they took my idea?

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Why do people think marriage makes you poorer, when so many studies show that married couples do better? Are you more likely to be able to afford a car by yourself or share one with a partner? Can you rent better with 2 incomes if you wish to move out of your parents'? Utility and other bills (Cable TV, groceries) are far lighter when shared.

    You can't afford to get married? I'd say you can't afford NOT to get married! Get Married, Get Wealthy!

  11. #31

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    You marry for love in Singapore.

    You can't put a figure into it.

    You won't feel hungry with love.
    in 1960s, 1970s..... but very rare now..... think not anymore.

    it is now conditional with your income level, your car type, yr looks, yr personality, yr social status etc....
    Last edited by Exposure; 16th July 2008 at 01:47 PM.

  12. #32

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by sORe-EyEz View Post
    cos they've come up with baby bonus, & now marriage bonus in the pipeline?

    it would be tagged to combined income of the newly weds + size of current homes they live in. would i get a "bonus" if they took my idea?
    The baby bonus thing is a scam la. $3k to bluff you into making a baby that will cost you 1000 times more to bring up, and subsequently grow up and contribute to the CPF blackhole and Ministers' pay only... Ooops... :X

    If really got marriage bonus then you will only seem more marriage scams... applicable for a 60yr old?
    Last edited by chongkm; 16th July 2008 at 02:05 PM.
    Olympus EM-1, 7-14/2.8, 12-40/2.8, 40-150/2.8, 17/1.8, 25/1.2, 60/2.8

  13. #33
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by rayz View Post
    Good idea~! still looking so that she can fund my equipements... LOL
    With a very old rich wife you can get your hands on the thousands even faster.

  14. #34
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by chongkm View Post
    The baby bonus thing is a scam la. $3k to bluff you into making a baby that will cost you 1000 times more to bring up.
    If really got marriage bonus then you will only seem more marriage scams... applicable for a 60yr old?
    If its a scam, I gratefully accept it.

  15. #35
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    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by Exposure View Post
    in 1960s, 1970s..... but very rare now..... think not anymore.

    it is now conditional with your income level, your car type, yr looks, yr personality, yr social status etc....
    Not applicable to a village girl in China or Vietnam.

  16. #36
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    除了爱, 我一无所有

  17. #37

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Different folks.. different strokes la..

    For me.. I've just gotten married last month. So.. my advice is.. unless u've saved enough, don't even think about it. I've saved 2-3 years for this event and it still feels heart pain when you see your savings of 2-3 years wipe out in one go. FYI, I'm earning about 3K take home now. Last year.. was only approx 2.5K the last was approx 2K.

    Here's how much i've spent on the wedding.

    Proposal Ring :- SGD$8K (My expense :- not from joint savings account)
    Total : 8K
    Wedding Bands :- SGD2K (From Joint Savings Account)
    Total : 2K
    Bridal Shop package plus top up :- SGD$5500 (From Joint Savings Account)
    Total : 5.5K
    Wedding Dinner :- Total damage after dinner approx SGD$5k.(30 tables @ SGD$740 each table - Gave Mum-In-Law 5+ tables) (From Joint Savings Account)
    Total : 5K

    Chinese Wedding Stuff ( PIN JIN (聘金)+ Cakes + Stuff) :- Borne by My Mum (Total ard 2K)

    Wedding Day Ang Bao : - SGD$1.5K for me (not from joint savings account)
    Total : 1.5K

    Honeymoon :- Haven't go yet.. but.. Wife already demanded one around 10k. Saying it's once in a lifetime thing. (Joing Savings Account)
    Total : 10K

    Staying at my parents place :- New Room furniture(Wardrobe+additonal cupboard) - SGD$3K
    New bed + mattress - SGD$2.5K
    Lights, Curtans and additional fixtures SGD$500
    Total : 6K

    Total Expenditure for wedding :- SGD$38K

    I'm lucky that i'm still debt free as we had enough in our savings. For a person that just started work, i don't think he can afford this at all. (mm... Maybe his parents is Ah Seah)

    But one thing i think my friend said it correctly is that "things that can be sovled by money, the issue can be easily tackled"(Most of the time). Things that cannot be resovled by $$ is a bigger issue.

    Please also remember this, "Do it once, do it well". You don't want your life partner to be grumbling about the same thing all your life (E.g. Last time we also never had wedding dinner... then i marry you liao). If you think your in-laws and parents have some expectation of something, and it's within your means, DO IT!! It's makes all happy this reduces a lot of frictions between the 2 families. The worse thing you can have is grouchy faces on your wedding day.

  18. #38

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    wah piang...

    as said, Different folks.. different strokes la..

    wah piang, $8k for proposal ring. my proposal ring cost less than $500.
    wedding bands total up also less than $500.

    bridal shop package, about $3k.
    everything in. photos, gown, wedding car. except AD photographer...
    top up $130 for additional 2 photos to add in wedding album.

    dinner in non orchard rd hotel restaurant which cost less than $700 per table.

    honey moon at australia, chan brother tour package. < $5k.

    staying in new hdb house. so have to spend about $35k in reno.

  19. #39

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Kudos to Ah Seng for the detailed breakdown.

    May I add, those who think they can recoup or even make a profit from the wedding dinner red packets? Please think twice.... one major killer is any tom dick and harry that your parents or your wife's parents invite for the sake of "face".

    I had a friend whose original plan of 30 tables ballooned to 60 tables because his dad just couldn't stop inviting guests....

    You can end up heavily in debt from the wedding dinner because alot of these tom dick and harry give you a miserable red packet. Reasoning is simple, they are invited to a wedding dinner where tons of good food so giving a 50 dollars to 80 dollars is okay for the amount of food and free alcohol. Worse are those that give you 50 dollars for a family of 4. And they won't feel shame as after all they were invited and they didn't gate crash and they most likely won't ever see you again.
    Last edited by aeskywan; 16th July 2008 at 03:21 PM.

  20. #40

    Default Re: Marriage in Singapore

    Quote Originally Posted by AhSeng View Post
    Different folks.. different strokes la..

    For me.. I've just gotten married last month. So.. my advice is.. unless u've saved enough, don't even think about it. I've saved 2-3 years for this event and it still feels heart pain when you see your savings of 2-3 years wipe out in one go. FYI, I'm earning about 3K take home now. Last year.. was only approx 2.5K the last was approx 2K.

    Here's how much i've spent on the wedding.

    Proposal Ring :- SGD$8K (My expense :- not from joint savings account)
    Total : 8K
    Wedding Bands :- SGD2K (From Joint Savings Account)
    Total : 2K
    Bridal Shop package plus top up :- SGD$5500 (From Joint Savings Account)
    Total : 5.5K
    Wedding Dinner :- Total damage after dinner approx SGD$5k.(30 tables @ SGD$740 each table - Gave Mum-In-Law 5+ tables) (From Joint Savings Account)
    Total : 5K

    Chinese Wedding Stuff ( PIN JIN (聘金)+ Cakes + Stuff) :- Borne by My Mum (Total ard 2K)

    Wedding Day Ang Bao : - SGD$1.5K for me (not from joint savings account)
    Total : 1.5K

    Honeymoon :- Haven't go yet.. but.. Wife already demanded one around 10k. Saying it's once in a lifetime thing. (Joing Savings Account)
    Total : 10K

    Staying at my parents place :- New Room furniture(Wardrobe+additonal cupboard) - SGD$3K
    New bed + mattress - SGD$2.5K
    Lights, Curtans and additional fixtures SGD$500
    Total : 6K

    Total Expenditure for wedding :- SGD$38K

    I'm lucky that i'm still debt free as we had enough in our savings. For a person that just started work, i don't think he can afford this at all. (mm... Maybe his parents is Ah Seah)

    But one thing i think my friend said it correctly is that "things that can be sovled by money, the issue can be easily tackled"(Most of the time). Things that cannot be resovled by $$ is a bigger issue.

    Please also remember this, "Do it once, do it well". You don't want your life partner to be grumbling about the same thing all your life (E.g. Last time we also never had wedding dinner... then i marry you liao). If you think your in-laws and parents have some expectation of something, and it's within your means, DO IT!! It's makes all happy this reduces a lot of frictions between the 2 families. The worse thing you can have is grouchy faces on your wedding day.
    Thanks for the breakdown...

    It will serve as guide for my own...

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