View Poll Results: Sabo the groom? OK or not?

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  • Female perspective: It's OK! It's all in the name of fun.

    5 5.26%
  • Female perspective: No, it's not OK.

    3 3.16%
  • Male perspective: It's OK! I'm game for it!

    23 24.21%
  • Male perspective: No, it's not OK.

    64 67.37%
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Thread: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

  1. #101
    vince123123
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Depending on the type of residence, it may also be posible to enter by other means. Back Doors, Windows etc.

  2. #102

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by blive View Post
    Sigh.... Everyone who is about to get married always think about this issue about being made to lose face on their wedding day.

    Its a special day for the couple. Its all part of the fun to make it more memorable for the couple, especially since the sisters (all unmarried) want to have well wishes for their sister who is getting married and proceed on with a new chapter in their life.

    Why take it all so harsh? Its a good day after all.

    If the couple is not someone they care about, then they wouldn't even bother to make the effort to plan and carry out such activites, and then be labelled "childish"!

    If you are the groom and you want to be so serious on your wedding day. Just tell them off ahead of time you don't want all this nonsense!

    Relax and enjoy the fun. Surprise the sisters and everyone around you that you are serious enough about your wife to go through all obstacles for her, that your wife is right to choose you as her husband and that you are a cool guy.

    Nothing sours a wedding than to have a guy with a black face at the door demanding to be let in to collect his "prize" - opps sorry, bride. What would your future parents think? (I take my parents-in-law like my own.)

    Make it memorable and have fun!

    At my wedding, I didn't mind being made fun of. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and so did we....
    this is the best post so far...
    i think that as long as the groom and bride enjoy it, it ok.

    haven't went to much wedding... but didn't know that sabo have reach the stage of wearing bra and underwear and running round the block... dunno what my brother in law is going to get for his wedding next saturday...

    on the other hand, if the groom cannot even take such a simple "HUMILIATION" on actual day for his wife, what happen to stuffs like "Dear, I would do anything for you!" spoken during courting...

    just like i would salute more to a groom who cannot sing to save his life singing a love song to his wife (out of tune, out of key) during the wedding banquet than to a groom who can sing like jacky cheung doing the above...

  3. #103
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by auron View Post
    on the other hand, if the groom cannot even take such a simple "HUMILIATION" on actual day for his wife, what happen to stuffs like "Dear, I would do anything for you!" spoken during courting...
    So if it's to be mutual, that the wife should stand by her man, should she be humiliated also? It doesn't make sense to be humiliated in this way. I know of this guy in his 40s who was also subjected to the panties routine really, genuinely felt embarassed by it. I mean, come on lah, give him a break can? Sure, some people are sporting enough (or maybe they just have no pride? - like the men who carry their girlfriend's handbag), that's really up to them. But if the guy doesn't feel comfortable, nobody should hold it against him either. And it is especially unfair to say that just because he is not willing to wear ladies underwear over his wedding suit, we use that to judge his level of commitment to his wife? That is the most childish way to look at things. I am willing to die for my wife, but I sure as hell will not be willing to put myself so low for the entertainment of her jiemeis just to "prove" my love for her. I've already made enough sacrifices and gone through a lot of sh*t in my life so I don't feel I need to prove anything to people who don't matter to me.

    There ARE ways of having fun while maintaining dignity, instead of jumping onto the bra-and-panties and feed-him-with-crap bandwagon you know?

    Yes, it's all a matter of personal opinion, and to each his own., but I really have to wonder out loud: Is this truly a celebration, or a mocking ceremony? And if it's "tradition" (and I really think it is not), then I say it's a stupid one that should be abolished as soon as possible.
    Last edited by synapseman; 28th May 2008 at 04:31 PM.
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  4. #104

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by auron View Post
    this is the best post so far...
    i think that as long as the groom and bride enjoy it, it ok.
    ----------------------------------------------
    on the other hand, if the groom cannot even take such a simple "HUMILIATION" on actual day for his wife, what happen to stuffs like "Dear, I would do anything for you!" spoken during courting...
    Dude, you serious? Enjoy humiliation? I'm sure the wife is glad to see the husband going through hurdles for her sake. But happy to see the humiliation? I'm not so sure.

    And taking humiliation to prove the grooms love? Are you really serious? If it's out of necessity, then yes. I wouldn't blink an eye to stand in the place of my wife to take public humiliation.

    But it's out of childishness and sadism cloaked in the name of 'tradition', which has proven to be a bunch of fart gas. Taking humiliation in this case to prove 'love' is no more meaningful than the sweet nothings you've mentioned as well.
    Last edited by shinken; 28th May 2008 at 04:00 PM.

  5. #105
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    so after so many posts, the bottom line is- most local men are dumb, defenceless & scared of wifey?

    common to hear male members here trying to hide their new toy from their wife...
    Last edited by sORe-EyEz; 28th May 2008 at 11:04 PM.

  6. #106
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by sORe-EyEz View Post
    so after so many posts, the bottom line is- most local men are dump, defenceless & scared of wifey?

    common to hear male members here trying to hide their new toy from their wife...
    "dump"? Dump what?

    Well, it could be more of a case of the man giving too much face to the jiemeis? Then again, I feel that if they don't like it, they should sound it out.
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  7. #107
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by synapseman View Post
    "dump"? Dump what?

    Well, it could be more of a case of the man giving too much face to the jiemeis? Then again, I feel that if they don't like it, they should sound it out.
    oops, typo error, i was too excited arh...

    but wad if sound out liao den the "sisterhood" mock him, wouldn't that be worse?

  8. #108

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by sORe-EyEz View Post
    oops, typo error, i was too excited arh...

    but wad if sound out liao den the "sisterhood" mock him, wouldn't that be worse?
    Well the wife should control her jie meis wat. If she agrees with her hubby that it's too much for him, then she should lay down the rules and make sure the jie meis follow them, after all she's the boss for the day. So boss cannot let the 'employees' run amok..

    Everyone wants it to be a happy day, so compromise lor, do the sabo but dun go overboard. If the groom is comfortable knowing he won't be humiliated that much, he'll be more natural and more sporting also, then it's a win-win situation for everyone. Because if the groom really is pissed off with the sabo, he can always wait it out downstairs with the brothers until the golden hour is reached and the jie meis won't even get any sabo at all and there will be bad feelings all round, which will show in the photos and all that.. not good.

  9. #109
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    after 100+ posts maybe tagging along with that "sisterhood" more would built a better rapport (way ahead already) than hostility on the big day.

    & of course dun eye them like they are 'hot' lah...
    Last edited by sORe-EyEz; 29th May 2008 at 12:15 AM.

  10. #110
    vince123123
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Totally agree, esp about the part in bold. Talk about humiliating the wife, then all the girls will keep very quiet suddenly.

    Why not we switch things around, get the brothers to tekan the wife. Can ask her do to really humiliating things (lots of things humiliate women )

    Quote Originally Posted by synapseman View Post
    So if it's to be mutual, that the wife should stand by her man, should she be humiliated also? It doesn't make sense to be humiliated in this way. I know of this guy in his 40s who was also subjected to the panties routine really, genuinely felt embarassed by it. I mean, come on lah, give him a break can? Sure, some people are sporting enough (or maybe they just have no pride? - like the men who carry their girlfriend's handbag), that's really up to them. But if the guy doesn't feel comfortable, nobody should hold it against him either. And it is especially unfair to say that just because he is not willing to wear ladies underwear over his wedding suit, we use that to judge his level of commitment to his wife? That is the most childish way to look at things. I am willing to die for my wife, but I sure as hell will not be willing to put myself so low for the entertainment of her jiemeis just to "prove" my love for her. I've already made enough sacrifices and gone through a lot of sh*t in my life so I don't feel I need to prove anything to people who don't matter to me.

    There ARE ways of having fun while maintaining dignity, instead of jumping onto the bra-and-panties and feed-him-with-crap bandwagon you know?

    Yes, it's all a matter of personal opinion, and to each his own., but I really have to wonder out loud: Is this truly a celebration, or a mocking ceremony? And if it's "tradition" (and I really think it is not), then I say it's a stupid one that should be abolished as soon as possible.

  11. #111
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by auron View Post
    this is the best post so far...
    i think that as long as the groom and bride enjoy it, it ok.

    haven't went to much wedding... but didn't know that sabo have reach the stage of wearing bra and underwear and running round the block... dunno what my brother in law is going to get for his wedding next saturday...
    Thanks for the compliment.... Well, have your brother-in-law take it easy and enjoy himself. Perhaps you help him out by passing him the key....


    Quote Originally Posted by synapseman View Post
    So if it's to be mutual, that the wife should stand by her man, should she be humiliated also? It doesn't make sense to be humiliated in this way. I know of this guy in his 40s who was also subjected to the panties routine really, genuinely felt embarassed by it. I mean, come on lah, give him a break can? Sure, some people are sporting enough (or maybe they just have no pride? - like the men who carry their girlfriend's handbag), that's really up to them. But if the guy doesn't feel comfortable, nobody should hold it against him either. And it is especially unfair to say that just because he is not willing to wear ladies underwear over his wedding suit, we use that to judge his level of commitment to his wife? That is the most childish way to look at things. I am willing to die for my wife, but I sure as hell will not be willing to put myself so low for the entertainment of her jiemeis just to "prove" my love for her. I've already made enough sacrifices and gone through a lot of sh*t in my life so I don't feel I need to prove anything to people who don't matter to me.

    There ARE ways of having fun while maintaining dignity, instead of jumping onto the bra-and-panties and feed-him-with-crap bandwagon you know?

    Yes, it's all a matter of personal opinion, and to each his own., but I really have to wonder out loud: Is this truly a celebration, or a mocking ceremony? And if it's "tradition" (and I really think it is not), then I say it's a stupid one that should be abolished as soon as possible.
    For that matter, i also don't agree to man carrying handbag for their girlfriend, cause it will not be forever, and it only means that the girl is so weak that she cannot carry her own handbag...

    What "tradition"? to justify this bit as tradition is sill actually. If you don't want to do it, then don't do it. Just be cheerful about it. No need for black face. That really shows the kind of guy the person is. If the guy is not comfortable, why did he do it? Isn't he agreeing to it then if he performs such act? We all have a choice in the things we do. We can also choose our attitude in life too....
    "Photography is an austere and blazing poetry of the real" -Ansel Adams

  12. #112
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by vince123123 View Post
    Totally agree, esp about the part in bold. Talk about humiliating the wife, then all the girls will keep very quiet suddenly.

    Why not we switch things around, get the brothers to tekan the wife. Can ask her do to really humiliating things (lots of things humiliate women )
    Actually, there is also the session at the wedding dinner too, where both the bride and groom gets to have fun together.... Brides not spared either, especially if the jiemeis are real close and want to make the night memorable. .

    Having said that, i have attended many weddings where the bride "protects" the husband from sabo and drinking...
    "Photography is an austere and blazing poetry of the real" -Ansel Adams

  13. #113
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by sORe-EyEz View Post
    & of course dun eye them like they are 'hot' lah...
    But you cannot deny, some of them are pretty darn hot, no?
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  14. #114

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    having gone thru so many weddings.. i think having a little bit of fun is fine..
    just dun go overboard..

    i have seen grooms having to take off their shirts.. applying lipstick on the mouth... eating frozen KFC chicken.......... i think all these not v nice lah.. esp if they looked messed up after the saboing.. or if they got stomach upset after that..

  15. #115

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    i wonder if this qualifies as hazing...

  16. #116

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    i think there is a line between fun and humiliation.

    i'm sure there are some of you who have attended gate-crashing which is fun but not humiliating.

    sometimes, it's just that the usual stuff gets boring and then in trying to come up with something new or creative, it gets stretch wayyyyy too far, which eventually makes tasteless, or what some might put it creative.

    i think the meaning of gatecrashing is there. but more importantly for every stunt, there has to be a meaning to it. like those concoction of sweet, sour, bitter. there's a meaning behind it.

    so, i think the problem is that the gate-crashing is being done for the sake of it. jie-meis probably dun understand the meaning of it and just plan some nonsensical activities.

  17. #117
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Haizz, after reading these posts.....I think I betta stay bachelor liao

  18. #118
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by blive View Post
    Spare a thought for your future parents-in-law, and others who are staying there. It might be more easier to get keys from your prospective mother-in-law, and use those tools on extra locks the jiemeis bring along. You don't need to do anything, if you are earlier than the jiemeis....
    Usually, cutting the locks and cutting through the lock on the main-door will do the trick. All that's needed would be a spare lock + keys along with a replacement lock for the main door. Replacing the latter requires only a screwdriver and 5 minutes of my time.

    It's fun to destroy things anyway so it's part of the wedding day fun. Obviously, we'd give ample warning about the door being potentially and utterly destroyed. Oh... And we decide on that, I have enough kangtows to get a contractor + his underlings to standby with a spare gate & door. That morning..
    Last edited by Firefox; 29th May 2008 at 05:18 PM.

  19. #119
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by Benign View Post
    Haizz, after reading these posts.....I think I betta stay bachelor liao
    Hehehe. Its only the wedding day. Marriage is for life. I don't see what the fuss is about the wedding day and getting sabo, though. Do it fo fun. Don't want to do it, be a man, smile and say "no!" Its your choice.

    Personally, I don't want to stay a bachelor. I got married 11 yrs ago, and I wished I did it earlier.
    "Photography is an austere and blazing poetry of the real" -Ansel Adams

  20. #120
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by synapseman View Post
    But you cannot deny, some of them are pretty darn hot, no?
    sure got some hot 1s but dun cross e line mah.

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