Female perspective: It's OK! It's all in the name of fun.
Female perspective: No, it's not OK.
Male perspective: It's OK! I'm game for it!
Male perspective: No, it's not OK.
Last edited by Sion; 25th May 2008 at 05:12 PM.
I don't think it is a custom that is only restricted to Singapore. When I was my friend's best man for a wedding held in a small town in Malaysia 2 years ago, we encountered the same thing too... okay no underwear etc. What happened to us was we had to drink up 1.5 liter bottles of carbonated drinks, the bridegroom had to shout in 10 languages I love you to the wife in the room. Of course in Singapore, I have encountered other more extreme stuff too.
I see it as part of the festive moment and after all you will only do this once in your life so... I personally wont hesitate to do it. After all it is part of the custom of "fetching" the bride. I mean each to his own, some people don't want to do it as they find it humiliating while there are others too that don't mind giving everyone abit of laugh and cheer in the morning.
The only thing though I will get offended about is the red packet money in which the sisters ask for too high a sum and it becomes extortion. I give an example of a friend's wedding in which the sisters asked for 888. So my friend after some light hearted bargaining gave the red packet with 888 inside. The sisters closed the door, took the money and threw the empty red packet out and told him. The red packet is empty... where is the 888? He nearly called off the wedding......... sigh And obviously he was damn pissed with the sisters.
When I got married, that was also my concern, whether I'll get it 'good' on the gatecrashing. So I talked it over with my wife, and said no funny concoctions, cos my stomach ain't made of metal and no singing, cos I can't sing to save my life. And that was it. I was game for anything else.
When I shoot weddings, I look forward to the gatecrashing the most, because that's where u get the funniest expressions and everyone's all laughing and it gets more interesting when I see things not done before. Stuff like the usual sour, bitter, sweet concoction has been done to death and it does get boring after awhile.. so is the bra and panties routine. But when I see something new, then it get's my interest going and u know u'll get the laughs from the guests at night when they see the video.
So I think the sabo is good, but only if the groom and brothers are ok with it and it's not done overboard. So the chemistry between both parties must be there else the whole thing will fail.
I think if you are the last few couples to get married, you get the bad deal, cause the jiemeis have to think of something creative, different from the other weddings they attended or heard of, so it gets more exaggerated as ideas run dry.....
So long as its not done overboard,....its all for memory and fun...
"Photography is an austere and blazing poetry of the real" -Ansel Adams
In the eye of law.. Doesnt need friends/families/whoever to 'prove' the marriage... Joy can be shared in many different ways. True blessings will be the true joy.
Same goes to funeral. People who come and pray to you not nesscessarily bother that you're now gone, they tag along and follow the ritual. Some might be cursing and swearing the dead for wasting their time and doing silly things at the wake... Sad to say, I felt that few times before. I'll never want a wake after I die..
If those jiemeis ask me for a BIG angbao I will Write a $1000 cheque to the jiemeis and purposely sign a fake signature. Then when they bank in, it will bounce back.
IMHO, no customary, no ceremony, no dinner, no wedding gown, no photos, even no rings also does matter, but you must have marriage cert, so you are protected by Singapore Laws.
My friend ever said this, "I'm preparing for my marriage, not my wedding", it is truth, marriage last a life time, wedding only last a day.
how many wedding couples ever spare a thought on this before? no wonder their weddings like playing games, once not happy, game over.
anyway, I have said my piece, out of here for good.