View Poll Results: Sabo the groom? OK or not?

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  • Female perspective: It's OK! It's all in the name of fun.

    5 5.26%
  • Female perspective: No, it's not OK.

    3 3.16%
  • Male perspective: It's OK! I'm game for it!

    23 24.21%
  • Male perspective: No, it's not OK.

    64 67.37%
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Thread: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

  1. #61
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    But but but.... The thing is... There is no groom yet
    Guys, I don't know this is a good or bad news.

    We have a "Groom Hunter" here.
    Last edited by Sion; 25th May 2008 at 05:12 PM.

  2. #62

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    I don't think it is a custom that is only restricted to Singapore. When I was my friend's best man for a wedding held in a small town in Malaysia 2 years ago, we encountered the same thing too... okay no underwear etc. What happened to us was we had to drink up 1.5 liter bottles of carbonated drinks, the bridegroom had to shout in 10 languages I love you to the wife in the room. Of course in Singapore, I have encountered other more extreme stuff too.

    I see it as part of the festive moment and after all you will only do this once in your life so... I personally wont hesitate to do it. After all it is part of the custom of "fetching" the bride. I mean each to his own, some people don't want to do it as they find it humiliating while there are others too that don't mind giving everyone abit of laugh and cheer in the morning.

    The only thing though I will get offended about is the red packet money in which the sisters ask for too high a sum and it becomes extortion. I give an example of a friend's wedding in which the sisters asked for 888. So my friend after some light hearted bargaining gave the red packet with 888 inside. The sisters closed the door, took the money and threw the empty red packet out and told him. The red packet is empty... where is the 888? He nearly called off the wedding......... sigh And obviously he was damn pissed with the sisters.

  3. #63

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    But but but.... The thing is... There is no groom yet
    if you start charging exorbitant prices in services offered

    suddenly there will be a lot of gwc suitors

  4. #64
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    *Poooofffff*
    Off to Europe! Lol... My Grandma ask me to save the money for all the nonsense and go tour Europe for a month.
    But but but.... The thing is... There is no groom yet
    Have you tried offering the potential groom a free ticket to Europe?

  5. #65

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by blive View Post
    Huh? Such a pretty girl, can't be no suitors, right? No one caught your fancy yet?

    You still need ROM or church wedding, so will still need to go through the wedding day, unless you plan to elope and don't let people know.
    Why is ROM or church wedding a MUST? Dont have to elope lah... Just need to find someone who have the same thinking with me will do

    Hmm.. Someone caughty my fancy but is far far away... Hmm.. Elope?!

  6. #66

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Have you tried offering the potential groom a free ticket to Europe?
    Wait till I find the lucky guy!

  7. #67

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Guys, I don't know this is a good or bad news.

    We have a "Groom Hunter" here.
    Haha. Its ok. My standard too high already...

  8. #68
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    Haha. Its ok. My standard too high already...
    Hmmmm...... indeed, your standard very high....


    I think many bride to be ever come to CS to ask for free or cheap photographers,

    So, in your case, would you charge photographers for shooting your wedding??
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  9. #69

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by blive View Post
    Sigh.... Everyone who is about to get married always think about this issue about being made to lose face on their wedding day.

    Its a special day for the couple. Its all part of the fun to make it more memorable for the couple, especially since the sisters (all unmarried) want to have well wishes for their sister who is getting married and proceed on with a new chapter in their life.

    Why take it all so harsh? Its a good day after all.

    If the couple is not someone they care about, then they wouldn't even bother to make the effort to plan and carry out such activites, and then be labelled "childish"!

    If you are the groom and you want to be so serious on your wedding day. Just tell them off ahead of time you don't want all this nonsense!

    Relax and enjoy the fun. Surprise the sisters and everyone around you that you are serious enough about your wife to go through all obstacles for her, that your wife is right to choose you as her husband and that you are a cool guy.

    Nothing sours a wedding than to have a guy with a black face at the door demanding to be let in to collect his "prize" - opps sorry, bride. What would your future parents think? (I take my parents-in-law like my own.)

    Make it memorable and have fun!

    At my wedding, I didn't mind being made fun of. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and so did we....
    I agree.

    When I got married, that was also my concern, whether I'll get it 'good' on the gatecrashing. So I talked it over with my wife, and said no funny concoctions, cos my stomach ain't made of metal and no singing, cos I can't sing to save my life. And that was it. I was game for anything else.

    When I shoot weddings, I look forward to the gatecrashing the most, because that's where u get the funniest expressions and everyone's all laughing and it gets more interesting when I see things not done before. Stuff like the usual sour, bitter, sweet concoction has been done to death and it does get boring after awhile.. so is the bra and panties routine. But when I see something new, then it get's my interest going and u know u'll get the laughs from the guests at night when they see the video.

    So I think the sabo is good, but only if the groom and brothers are ok with it and it's not done overboard. So the chemistry between both parties must be there else the whole thing will fail.

  10. #70

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by catchlights View Post
    Hmmmm...... indeed, your standard very high....


    I think many bride to be ever come to CS to ask for free or cheap photographers,

    So, in your case, would you charge photographers for shooting your wedding??
    Lol. Thats a very good question. But I think I have my deal with my ideal wedding photographers already IF I ever get married! Will be unusual one though...

  11. #71
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    Lol. Thats a very good question. But I think I have my deal with my ideal wedding photographers already IF I ever get married! Will be unusual one though...
    Unusual? which one is unusual?

    The bride? The groom? The wedding? or The photographer?
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  12. #72
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    Why is ROM or church wedding a MUST? Dont have to elope lah... Just need to find someone who have the same thinking with me will do

    Hmm.. Someone caughty my fancy but is far far away... Hmm.. Elope?!
    Well, to make the wedding an official one, recognised by family, friends & state or church....else it will just be cohabiting. Also to tell the world that you two want to spend the rest of your life together. Besides, us friends want to celebrate your happy day together with you. Its called sharing your joys.....



    Quote Originally Posted by lukesky View Post
    I agree.

    When I got married, that was also my concern, whether I'll get it 'good' on the gatecrashing. So I talked it over with my wife, and said no funny concoctions, cos my stomach ain't made of metal and no singing, cos I can't sing to save my life. And that was it. I was game for anything else.

    When I shoot weddings, I look forward to the gatecrashing the most, because that's where u get the funniest expressions and everyone's all laughing and it gets more interesting when I see things not done before. Stuff like the usual sour, bitter, sweet concoction has been done to death and it does get boring after awhile.. so is the bra and panties routine. But when I see something new, then it get's my interest going and u know u'll get the laughs from the guests at night when they see the video.

    So I think the sabo is good, but only if the groom and brothers are ok with it and it's not done overboard. So the chemistry between both parties must be there else the whole thing will fail.
    Agree with you there...

    I think if you are the last few couples to get married, you get the bad deal, cause the jiemeis have to think of something creative, different from the other weddings they attended or heard of, so it gets more exaggerated as ideas run dry.....

    So long as its not done overboard,....its all for memory and fun...
    "Photography is an austere and blazing poetry of the real" -Ansel Adams

  13. #73

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by blive View Post
    Well, to make the wedding an official one, recognised by family, friends & state or church....else it will just be cohabiting. Also to tell the world that you two want to spend the rest of your life together. Besides, us friends want to celebrate your happy day together with you. Its called sharing your joys.....





    Agree with you there...

    I think if you are the last few couples to get married, you get the bad deal, cause the jiemeis have to think of something creative, different from the other weddings they attended or heard of, so it gets more exaggerated as ideas run dry.....

    So long as its not done overboard,....its all for memory and fun...
    That's too traditional thinking... Not my style
    In the eye of law.. Doesnt need friends/families/whoever to 'prove' the marriage... Joy can be shared in many different ways. True blessings will be the true joy.

    Same goes to funeral. People who come and pray to you not nesscessarily bother that you're now gone, they tag along and follow the ritual. Some might be cursing and swearing the dead for wasting their time and doing silly things at the wake... Sad to say, I felt that few times before. I'll never want a wake after I die..

  14. #74

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by catchlights View Post
    Unusual? which one is unusual?

    The bride? The groom? The wedding? or The photographer?
    Just want to break away from traditions

  15. #75
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by blive View Post
    So long as its not done overboard,....its all for memory and fun...
    it must have went overboard for some, judging by the poll...

    fun at others expense is sick.

  16. #76

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by catchlights View Post
    Unusual? which one is unusual?

    The bride? The groom? The wedding? or The photographer?
    instead of the usual procession, the bride will stroll in regally, led by the love of her life:






















  17. #77
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    Just want to break away from traditions
    I see, so will you do away the marriage cert?
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  18. #78
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    If those jiemeis ask me for a BIG angbao I will Write a $1000 cheque to the jiemeis and purposely sign a fake signature. Then when they bank in, it will bounce back.

  19. #79
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    IMHO, no customary, no ceremony, no dinner, no wedding gown, no photos, even no rings also does matter, but you must have marriage cert, so you are protected by Singapore Laws.

    My friend ever said this, "I'm preparing for my marriage, not my wedding", it is truth, marriage last a life time, wedding only last a day.

    how many wedding couples ever spare a thought on this before? no wonder their weddings like playing games, once not happy, game over.

    anyway, I have said my piece, out of here for good.

    good luck.
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  20. #80

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by catchlights View Post
    I see, so will you do away the marriage cert?
    You already say it for me - "IMHO, no customary, no ceremony, no dinner, no wedding gown, no photos, even no rings also does matter, but you must have marriage cert, so you are protected by Singapore Laws."

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