View Poll Results: Sabo the groom? OK or not?

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  • Female perspective: It's OK! It's all in the name of fun.

    5 5.26%
  • Female perspective: No, it's not OK.

    3 3.16%
  • Male perspective: It's OK! I'm game for it!

    23 24.21%
  • Male perspective: No, it's not OK.

    64 67.37%
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Thread: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

  1. #21
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    My own wedding in the future, if any... Will minus all these nonsense. I dont care about tradition. No stupid wake up early do stupid things and stupid wedding dinner when half of the people you dont know and they go "oh... today is that who's daughter's wedding lor"... They dont even know your name!
    Will there be a table or two for CSers??

  2. #22
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Will there be a table or two for CSers??
    tables maybe don't have, but have tons of free photographers.
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  3. #23
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    anyway, I don't find it is fun,

    those sisters just only finding ways of entertaining themself.
    there is no real meanings of what are there doing for the groom and the brothers.

    If those sisters would to open their eyes to see carefully, nobody expect them are OK with this.
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  4. #24

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    If I'm not wrong the "concoction" is supposed to be a mixture of sour, sweet, bitter and spicy. To the chinese it's the "suan tian ku la" of marriage life. I guess it's to give the groom a preview of what he's about to go through for real you know? The ang bow bargaining is a symbol of wealth as well. As for the rest... I don't know, but I have to agree that some people really do go overboard with these sabos.
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  5. #25
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    that wasn't any part of the tradition or ritual in a Chinese wedding customary, many thanks to those Hong Kong TV drama series, and Taiwanese variety shows in the 80's.
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  6. #26

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    The worst i seen is banana in condom and groom are suppose to suck the banana out and eat.

    While, it's not fun at all, and quite boring.
    Eat breath LIVERPOOL!!!

  7. #27
    Senior Member dominator's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Seen/been to a few wedding, yes I agree that underwear wearing sabo process is much of a shame and humiliation..not only to the groom but also to the bride and families on such a big day.
    Cleanse your thoughts, not by the foods you eat.

  8. #28

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by tkbonz View Post

    The thing why modern chinese weddings becomes a "sabo the groom" is also due to modernisation. See how recent birthday parties are becoming? Humiliation games...dirty games...taupok...one day when the taupok generation grows up, you will see grooms being taupok everywhere left right center in weddings!!!


    oh no, tau pok during wedding.

  9. #29

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    I would say usually it is the couple that allow such childish games coz if the girl has a little respect for him, she will insist on NOT allowing "the sisters" to play.... and usually it's because the couple, the brothers and sisters themselves are too young to feel shameful or embarassed about the whole event.
    always the Light, .... always.

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    woah, a "hot potato" subject...

    1) i think the jie-meis are a horny bunch
    2) the sense of fun can't be more childish
    3) unless its a superhero wedding, undies will not be for public display (wedding so SM nowadays ah?). jus say wait neighbour complain, jus ask buddie call cops for good measure lo.

    would the jie-meis like to have fun w/ the groom 1-by-1?
    Last edited by sORe-EyEz; 24th May 2008 at 06:42 PM.

  11. #31

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quite sad that our culture have developed into such adversity.

    I am most fortunate that no such childish incident took place at my wedding. We have no such friends or relatives that conspired such Immature program for us. My wife have also instructed no shouting or screaming during my grand entrance to pick her up. I don't have to beg or bribe any sinister "Jiamei" for 888 or 999. There was no need for me to behave like I have 300 Spartans brothers ready to demolish the front door to get in.

    With temperature touching 33C, hope no groom will get a heat stroke with those intense activities today and tomorrow. Many have to pant like mad, take photo and pretend they are enjoying it.

    I also suspect those interest groups that will embrace and enjoy such foolish movement mostly are perhaps in their early or mid 20's. Might be even more apparent are young and dangerous teens that immerse themselves in "BengLian" culture. Well, these are my personal prejudice opinion.

    All the best to our culture if we have one.
    Last edited by doUbleCHIN; 24th May 2008 at 06:09 PM.

  12. #32
    Senior Member Canew's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Wasn't this 'sabo' culture copied from HK?

  13. #33
    vince123123
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    I totally agree with you, they think they got a free license to ask the groom to do any sh1t they want. Why don't we reverse it and ask the bride to do nonsense or humiliating things too?

    To me its very simple, if you're the groom, just ignroe the jie meis. dont give in to the pressure. Simply leave. The parents in law will tell the jie mei's to quikcly finish if not miss the auspicious hour

    If you need more anti-gate game tricks, do let me know. I've already compiled a whole host of them

    The gate game is simply crap. Its just a more "adult" version of "ponding" your class mate when it is his/her birthday. A happy occassion for the person ends up being a "free license" to humiliate and do all sorts of crap to them.

    Quote Originally Posted by synapseman View Post
    There's this bit about S'porean Chinese weddings that I don't quite get - Why is there a need to humiliate the husband at the gate of the bride's place? I remember maybe 10-20 years ago, it was just a simple bargaining/haggling over ang-paos at the gate, but of late, the jiemei's seem to think that it's their duty to give the groom sh*t before allowing him in. Serenading to her in front of the whole block is OK. Shouting and declaring his love for her is OK. But what's up with all this bra and panties nonsense? A wedding, to me, is the celebration of the union of two people/families. It's supposed to be a dignified event. Friends are supposed to enjoy the moment with the couple, but there's always this S'porean propensity to laugh at people, rather than with them.

    Are you going to show your kids your wedding day photos, when daddy had to run around the neighbourhood, wearing a bra and panties over his wedding suit, and wearing lipstick while kissing his best man? Sure it's funny now, but I think it's embarassing really. No other culture I know of subjects the groom to such pranks.

    I know it's merely my opinion, but I say that this cycle of childishness has got to stop.

    What say you?

  14. #34
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by Canonised View Post
    I would say usually it is the couple that allow such childish games coz if the girl has a little respect for him, she will insist on NOT allowing "the sisters" to play.... and usually it's because the couple, the brothers and sisters themselves are too young to feel shameful or embarassed about the whole event.
    Ditto. The bride is the key person in this. She just has to lay down the rules very clearly to her jiemeis. No funny concoctions. No humiliating stunts. I believe most will respect their wishes. If she just "Oh ok anything. Up to you girls lor", then too bad

  15. #35
    vince123123
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Then its up to the groom to be suitably advised with the anti-gate game manual There are many ways to counter the jie meis

  16. #36
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Sigh.... Everyone who is about to get married always think about this issue about being made to lose face on their wedding day.

    Its a special day for the couple. Its all part of the fun to make it more memorable for the couple, especially since the sisters (all unmarried) want to have well wishes for their sister who is getting married and proceed on with a new chapter in their life.

    Why take it all so harsh? Its a good day after all.

    If the couple is not someone they care about, then they wouldn't even bother to make the effort to plan and carry out such activites, and then be labelled "childish"!

    If you are the groom and you want to be so serious on your wedding day. Just tell them off ahead of time you don't want all this nonsense!

    Relax and enjoy the fun. Surprise the sisters and everyone around you that you are serious enough about your wife to go through all obstacles for her, that your wife is right to choose you as her husband and that you are a cool guy.

    Nothing sours a wedding than to have a guy with a black face at the door demanding to be let in to collect his "prize" - opps sorry, bride. What would your future parents think? (I take my parents-in-law like my own.)

    Make it memorable and have fun!

    At my wedding, I didn't mind being made fun of. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and so did we....
    "Photography is an austere and blazing poetry of the real" -Ansel Adams

  17. #37
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by tkbonz View Post

    I've recently seen one particular obstacle which the groom has to drink a "concoction" of soya sauce, chili sauce, sesame paste, etc etc... Are you trying to make him SICK before the wedding night?
    My best friend got married, and they wanted to make him drink that concortion! Being the best man, I drank it all down for him......within 1/2 an hr, I was having diaherria all day till night and had to go to the doctors in the afternoon. The sisters were all apologetic and treated me very nicely from then on. My best friend? he got me a room in the hotel where the wedding was held to rest and recuperate, and hehe we are still best buddies....

    So warning to all, please don't play with food!
    "Photography is an austere and blazing poetry of the real" -Ansel Adams

  18. #38
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by precious.jas View Post
    My own wedding in the future, if any... Will minus all these nonsense. I dont care about tradition. No stupid wake up early do stupid things and stupid wedding dinner when half of the people you dont know and they go "oh... today is that who's daughter's wedding lor"... They dont even know your name!
    So will you come to the groom's house in a sedan chair so we've some photo opportunities?

    Last edited by Sion; 24th May 2008 at 09:39 PM.

  19. #39
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by blive View Post
    At my wedding, I didn't mind being made fun of. Everyone enjoyed themselves, and so did we....
    Did you have to do this?


  20. #40

    Default Re: Why ah? S'porean Chinese weddings and the "sabo" culture

    Quote Originally Posted by Yatlapball View Post
    Ditto. The bride is the key person in this. She just has to lay down the rules very clearly to her jiemeis. No funny concoctions. No humiliating stunts. I believe most will respect their wishes. If she just "Oh ok anything. Up to you girls lor", then too bad
    To me , if the groom doesn't want to go through such things on the day itself, all he has to do is to voice his concerns during the preparation stage and lay down the rules. If he is not man enough to do so or he chooses to keep quiet for his own reasons, then no amount of discussion here in CS is going to change the fate of the Singaporean groom when it comes to the antics of the jiemis

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