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Thread: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

  1. #21
    Senior Member xtemujin's Avatar
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    Arrow Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    She's not going to listen to you as she'll think that you've a hidden agenda.

  2. #22

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Hmmmm there is nothing wrong with smoking and drinking.... so I dont think that can be used to label a person as "bad". I know of many people who smoke and drink, some are married to each other, even my dad smokes and drinks, does that make them "bad"


    As for womanising... depends on you look at it. Does he really bed the girl or is it just plain flirting? Being able to talk to ladies and hold a good conversation doesnt mean he is a flirt. Why I say that cos from what I see of the TS, he seems to have a pretty young outlook towards relationships. Firstly most mature fellows wont even ask the question he is asking. You date a girl, things dont work out, you split.... and you go your seperate ways, okay you remain friends but you dont go stepping into each other's life. I defintely wont want my exs to come hounding me telling me my present gf is not good enough for me... etc etc. Let me find that out for myself.

    As a ex bf, it is called EX means past tense, in the past, no longer existent hence no point saying anything and giving any advice. The part of dont want your friend to get hurt... well honestly dude are you really treating her as a friend or having sour grapes that she is dating someone else. Some one whom you feel is not good enough or is not as good as you? Seriously move on with your life, your ex has done so, so why dont you?

  3. #23
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    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    For your piece of mind, then tell her. And move on.....nothing much u can do after that.

    Sometimes, she might be doing it to spike u as well.....

    Personally, be the best boy friend when the next one comes around. Improve on it.

  4. #24

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by mattlock View Post
    woah I didn't know smoking and drinking = bad...
    means more than half of cs are already 50% bad

  5. #25

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by mazatello View Post
    ... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

    Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
    Maybe after having spent some time with you, she realised her folly, and now makes sure that she only dates the type of guy she has always secretly yearned for.

  6. #26
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Klose View Post
    means more than half of cs are already 50% bad
    That's why they got girls falling all over them begging to do TFCD.

  7. #27

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Klose View Post
    means more than half of cs are already 50% bad
    lucky i belong to the minority.

  8. #28

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Wah.. like in the movie eh...

    What if this Man she is seeing is actually after her becos she is your gf/ex-gf, and he is doing this to spite you?

    And he openly challenges you (not in her presence of course) that he is going to "mount" her in all ways she never allowed you too do!

    This pain will hurt very much, maybe end up people dying too.. Good movie.
    CS says, "We can't help you ignore yourself."

  9. #29
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by Caspere View Post
    Wah.. like in the movie eh...

    What if this Man she is seeing is actually after her becos she is your gf/ex-gf, and he is doing this to spite you?

    And he openly challenges you (not in her presence of course) that he is going to "mount" her in all ways she never allowed you too do!

    This pain will hurt very much, maybe end up people dying too.. Good movie.
    You've got the script for "Fatal Attraction II"?

  10. #30
    Member mazatello's Avatar
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    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Um, its not a matter of me not being mature or not able to put things down but my attitude towards relationships is pretty idealistic. I believe that even after separation, both parties can still remain close friends and as any other close friends, you would watch out for their back, wouldn't it? (by the way we called it off amicably unlike some other couples who hate each other to the core after that)

    That said, I think I won't do anything... basically just let nature run its course and not be bothered by it. Perhaps she will be happier with the guy that way and if not, she will learn from the lesson. It is time for me to mind my own business and draw the line I guess.

    Thanks for all your inputs. Truly appreciate all your frank thoughts and advice

  11. #31

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Usually those who end up hating each others are the ones loved very deeply, and after trying very hard.

    So, is it fair to say that they those who give up "too easily" have nothing much to lose compared to the above?
    CS says, "We can't help you ignore yourself."

  12. #32

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by mazatello View Post
    Um, its not a matter of me not being mature or not able to put things down but my attitude towards relationships is pretty idealistic. I believe that even after separation, both parties can still remain close friends and as any other close friends, you would watch out for their back, wouldn't it? (by the way we called it off amicably unlike some other couples who hate each other to the core after that)
    There is no good frens between boys and girls. Period.

  13. #33

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by mazatello View Post
    ... would it bother you? Would you advise her against him?

    Definition of "not a good guy" is subjective - let's say he smokes, drinks, womanises and breaks girls' hearts. Of course compared to you, he is the complete opposite.
    unless you still have feelings for her... drop her a one way email without asking for a reply. otherwise, leave them alone and forget them. Their destination, their choice. If you step in, you will become the evil one and you wont be spared.

  14. #34
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    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Advice well and then draw the line.
    Do not make her your burden

  15. #35

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by mazatello View Post
    Um, its not a matter of me not being mature or not able to put things down but my attitude towards relationships is pretty idealistic. I believe that even after separation, both parties can still remain close friends and as any other close friends, you would watch out for their back, wouldn't it? (by the way we called it off amicably unlike some other couples who hate each other to the core after that)

    That said, I think I won't do anything... basically just let nature run its course and not be bothered by it. Perhaps she will be happier with the guy that way and if not, she will learn from the lesson. It is time for me to mind my own business and draw the line I guess.

    Thanks for all your inputs. Truly appreciate all your frank thoughts and advice
    Yes can still be friends but there must be a time when you must draw the line. Honestly I dont really see couples that split as being able to remain close friends. Cos in a way too much secrets to share with one another that you wont be comfortable doing so now that you were once a couple. And honestly does she want this closeness with you? Or is it a one sided affair on your side. Trust me, in relationships, dont be idealistic. In the long run you will be the one who get hurt. And men who can be successful in life dont let relationships get them down.

  16. #36
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    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by mazatello View Post
    Um, its not a matter of me not being mature or not able to put things down but my attitude towards relationships is pretty idealistic. I believe that even after separation, both parties can still remain close friends and as any other close friends, you would watch out for their back, wouldn't it? (by the way we called it off amicably unlike some other couples who hate each other to the core after that)

    That said, I think I won't do anything... basically just let nature run its course and not be bothered by it. Perhaps she will be happier with the guy that way and if not, she will learn from the lesson. It is time for me to mind my own business and draw the line I guess.

    Thanks for all your inputs. Truly appreciate all your frank thoughts and advice
    I too believe that the end of a relationship does not significy the grave of the friendship unless the relationship fail because of moral issues rather than incompatibility.
    Well the unfortunate thing is such views can only exist in an idealistic world where everything follows a theorectical law.
    In reality,even after a breakup,both parties will be subjected to displease and insecurities where each will watch their backs.

  17. #37

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    honestly

    it's NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

    move on, and concentrate on your own life pls

  18. #38

    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    Quote Originally Posted by mazatello View Post
    Um, its not a matter of me not being mature or not able to put things down but my attitude towards relationships is pretty idealistic. I believe that even after separation, both parties can still remain close friends and as any other close friends, you would watch out for their back, wouldn't it? (by the way we called it off amicably unlike some other couples who hate each other to the core after that)

    That said, I think I won't do anything... basically just let nature run its course and not be bothered by it. Perhaps she will be happier with the guy that way and if not, she will learn from the lesson. It is time for me to mind my own business and draw the line I guess.

    Thanks for all your inputs. Truly appreciate all your frank thoughts and advice
    Good choice.

  19. #39
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    Default Re: If you discover your ex is seeing a guy whom you know is not a good guy...

    think many others have already said what im going to say.

    on the reverse, say if your ex is with a 'good boy' now, does it mean they would live happily ever ? no one really knows but i think given my past experiences, i really tried telling some of my girlfriends that those guys are not good for them, and ended up i lost my patience altogether, even distanced from them. maybe i'm being bitter but it really doesn't pay to be kind.

    who knows maybe your ex gf could change the bad boy to a good one now. sometimes it's good to let the person bang wall and learn lesson for himself/herself
    爱是要时间慢慢培养的。。

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