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Thread: Did u choose the right person?

  1. #1
    Senior Member melvin's Avatar
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    Default Did u choose the right person?

    Those who are still single may learn something from here....
    Those who are already married may take it as a guideline to improve your
    marriage....

    DID I MARRY THE RIGHT PERSON?

    During one of our seminars, a woman asked a common question.

    She said, "How do I know if I married the right person?"

    I noticed that there was a large man sitting next to her so I said,
    "It depends. Is that your husband?"

    In all seriousness, she answered "How do you know?"

    Let me answer this question because the chances are
    good that it's weighing on your mind.

    Here's the answer.

    EVERY relationship has a cycle. In the beginning, you fell in love with
    your spouse. You anticipated their call, wanted their touch, and liked
    their idiosyncrasies.

    Falling in love with your spouse wasn't hard. In fact, it was a
    completely natural and spontaneous experience.
    You didn't have to DO anything. That's why it's called "falling" in
    love...

    Because it's happening TO YOU.

    People in love sometimes say, "I was swept of my feet." Think about the
    imagery of that _expression. It implies that you were just standing
    there; doing nothing, and then something came along and happened TO YOU.

    Falling is love is easy. It's a passive and spontaneous experience.

    But after a few years of marriage, the euphoria of love fades. It's the
    natural cycle of EVERY relationship. Slowly but surely, phone calls
    become a bother (if they come at all), touch is not always welcome (when
    it happens), and your spouse's idiosyncrasies, instead of being cute,
    drive you nuts.

    The symptoms of this stage vary with every relationship, but if you
    think about your marriage, you will notice a dramatic difference between
    the initial stage when you were in love and a much duller or even angry
    subsequent stage.

    At this point, you and/or your spouse might start asking, "Did I marry
    the right person?" And as you and your spouse reflect on the euphoria of
    the love you once had, you may begin to desire that experience with
    someone else. This is when marriages breakdown. People blame their
    spouse for their unhappiness and look outside their marriage for
    fulfillment.

    Extramarital fulfillment comes in all shapes and sizes. Infidelity is
    the most obvious. But sometimes people turn to work,a hobby, a
    friendship, excessive TV, or abusive substances.

    But the answer to this dilemma does NOT lie outside your marriage.

    It lies within it.

    I'm not saying that you couldn't fall in love with someone else. You
    could.

    And TEMPORARILY you'd feel better. But you'd be in the same situation a
    few years later. Because (listen carefully to this):

    THE KEY TO SUCCEEDING IN MARRIAGE IS NOT FINDING THE
    RIGHT PERSON; IT'S LEARNING TO LOVE THE PERSON YOU FOUND.

    SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous experience. It'll NEVER
    just happen to you. You can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
    day in and day out. That's why we have the _expression "the labor of
    love."

    Because it takes time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, it
    takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to make your marriage work.

    Make no mistake about it. Love is NOT a mystery. There are specific
    things you can do (with or without your spouse) to succeed with your
    marriage.

    Just as there are physical laws of the universe (such as gravity), there
    are also laws for relationships. Just as the right diet and exercise
    program makes you physically stronger, certain habits in your
    relationship WILL make your marriage stronger. It's a direct cause and
    effect. If you know and apply the laws, the results are
    predictable...you
    can "make" love.

    Love in marriage is indeed a "decision"... Not just a feeling.






    Disclaimer: I am not the writer. just that i copy them from an email!

  2. #2

    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    makes me want to just stay single

  3. #3
    Senior Member Canew's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    TS, thanks for sharing.

  4. #4
    Senior Member asterixsg's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    until i read that last line, i thought you were a marriage counsellor.

    no comments, bro.
    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt....

  5. #5

    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    Hmm...so hiw did he know that the large man sitting next to her was her husband?

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    If you do know, then you are blessed.

    I hope I know cause I never stop trying. I hope she knows.....

  7. #7
    Member Parka's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    Love, the noun, comes from Love, the verb.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    I think I didn't.. just broke up not long ago.. lol.. mayb not fated..

  9. #9

    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    Too mafun.

  10. #10

    Smile Re: Did u choose the right person?

    If you cannot marry the person you love
    Love the person you marry

  11. #11

    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    Quote Originally Posted by foxwagon View Post
    If you cannot marry the person you love
    Love the person you marry
    This is a cheeky phrase like Do you eat to live or live to eat.. But I don't think that's appropriately said here about marriage. If you don't like a person or rush into a commitment blindly, then loving someone you marry is a disaster. If there is true love in the first place, then the phrase becomes irrelevant. Cos naturally, you will want to marry someone you love.

  12. #12

    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    All that is written in the first post is bullshit.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    Quote Originally Posted by foxwagon View Post
    If you cannot marry the person you love
    Love the person you marry
    If you cannot marry the person you love...
    Marry the person who loves you most...

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    I never believed in "Love at first sight"...then ends up with "and they lived happily ever after..."

    To some extent, the first post is right. You need committment and work to make a marriage work out.

    Oh, how the guy know the man is the husband? My guess... Since the lady is asking such a question, she is obviously doubting her relationship. So it was easy for the guy to realize the man next to her must be her husband.
    Dun blame the camera...blame the one behind the viewfinder :bsmilie:
    My Flickr..pls leave comments!

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    as people grow matured and experienced after some years in working society.. u know marriage is not that simple.

    it is not those days u go pubs or discos... not those anymore.

  16. #16
    Senior Member StrifeYun's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    guess i'm with the first post

    think its best to marry someone who loves you more than you do
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  17. #17
    ClubSNAP Idol Adam Goi's Avatar
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    Default Re: Did u choose the right person?

    Hmm ... have we thought of this instead?

    "Are you the right person?"

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