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Thread: Photography Jokes

  1. #1

    Talking Photography Jokes

    Photographer Works

    There was this haunted house on the outskirts of the town which was avoided by all the townfolk - the ghost which `lived' there was feared by all.

    However, an enterprising journalist decided to get the scoop of the day by photographing the fearsome phantom. When he entered the house, armed with only his camera, the ghost descended upon him, clanking chains et al. He told the ghost "I mean no harm - I just want your photograph". The ghost was quite happy at this chance to make the headlines - he posed for a number of ghostly shots.

    The happy journalist rushed back to his dark room, and began developing the photos. Unfortunately, they turned out to be black and underexposed.

    So what's the moral of the story?

    The spirit was willing but the flash was weak.

    How many photographers does it take to change a light bulb?

    50 - One to change the bulb, and forty-nine to say, "I could have done that!"
    Baby Photographer
    The Roberts were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.

    On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Roberts kissed his wife goodbye and said, “Well, I’m off now; the man should be here soon.”

    Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.

    Good morning, Ma’am”, he said, “I’ve come to…”

    Oh, no need to explain,” Mrs. Roberts cut in, embarrassed, “I’ve been expecting you.”

    “Have you really?” said the photographer. “Well, that’s good. Did you know babies are my specialty?”

    “Well that’s what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat”
    After a moment she asked, blushing, “Well, where do we start?”

    “Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there.”

    “Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn’t work out for Harry and me!”

    “Well, Ma’am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I’m sure you’ll be pleased with the results.”

    “My, that’s a lot !” gasped Mrs. Roberts.

    “Ma’am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I’d love to be in and out in five minutes, but I’m sure you’d be disappointed with that.”

    “Don’t I know it,” said Mrs. Roberts quietly.

    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. “This was done on the top of a bus,” he said.

    “Oh my God!” Mrs. Roberts exclaimed, grasping at her throat.

    “And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.”

    “She was difficult?” asked Mrs. Roberts.

    “Yes, I’m afraid so I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look.”

    “Four and five deep?” said Mrs. Roberts, her eyes wide with amazement.

    “Yes”, the photographer replied. “And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in.”

    Mrs. Roberts leaned forward. “Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh”

    “It’s true, Ma’am, yes.. Well, if you’re ready, I’ll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away.”


    “Oh yes, Ma’am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It’s much too big to be held in the hand very long.”

    Mrs. Roberts fainted.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Photography Jokes

    Don't understand the lightbulb joke.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2007
    Stad van Manneken Pis

    Default Re: Photography Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by waileong View Post
    Don't understand the lightbulb joke.
    How many times is it that you look at a good shot taken by someone else and say "I could have done that"
    Come visit my Flickr :)

  4. #4
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Jan 2005
    La La Land

    Default Re: Photography Jokes

    Quote Originally Posted by maddyks View Post
    How many times is it that you look at a good shot taken by someone else and say "I could have done that"

  5. #5

    Default Re: Photography Jokes

    The 49 thing is what I don't understand.

  6. #6
    Moderator catchlights's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Punggol, Singapore

    Default Re: Photography Jokes

    the rest of 49 say: "I could have done that!"

    talk only, no action.
    Shoot to Live, Live to Shoot | iStock portfolio

  7. #7
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2006
    Singapore, western area

    Default Re: Photography Jokes

    the last one is damn funny

  8. #8

    Default Re: Photography Jokes

    true... I've seen it floating around somewhere.
    1D MkIII, 5D MkII 16-200 2.8L, 35L, 50L, 135L
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