View Poll Results: Is the use of the word 'dear' too intimate for casual friends?

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  • Yes

    52 34.67%
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    86 57.33%
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Thread: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

  1. #41

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by deckard View Post
    CLUB SOTONG.
    I thought is club konichiwa

    DEAR DANIEL and HELLO KITTY!

  2. #42

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    One interesting thing is if you use it verbally, your tone and maybe body language will convey more on what you want 'dear' to mean. But if one would send a text message like chat or sms to a casual acquaintance of the opposite sex messages such as 'Good morning dear' or 'Are you busy dear?', could it be misleading?

  3. #43
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    I hope I'm not being too old fashion or something, but I think there can be some differences and or misleading element if the word 'dear' is used on casual friends.

    However, I do think that, with additional one word would greatly reduce that effect. That's the word 'my'. For example, I do think it's ok that, while in a conversation with a causal friend like 'I think you are right my dear'. I do think when used in such context, it's quite ok and more widely acceptable. But if you say 'I think you are right dear' or 'Dear, I think you are right' then it can be quite misleading to some great extend.

    I know that in western culture, this can be quite common to call someone dear or honey, but I think we Asian still have not reach this stage yet. For most modern Asian, the word 'dear' or 'honey' still pretty much used mainly toward our loved one, ie our partner, lover or spouse.

    For myself, I only used the word 'dear' on my girlfriend who are in a relationship with me, but when I speaks with my friends, especially those few close female friends, I would use the words 'my dear', some times, not all the time neither it's that often. I do think this will help to save me many unnecessary misunderstanding, headaches or even unnecessary quarrels.

  4. #44

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    What about 'Dearie'?

  5. #45

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by KNIGHT ONG View Post
    Dear Newman, also long long time no see huh?

    Cannot be so coincidence hor ,,, I just type Dear Bob on another thread ,,,,,,

    P/S : some of my contractor call me Dear Ong ...
    Sorry brother, lost my zest in shooting for a while liao. This is a small world, anything can happen man. Hehe.
    'Dear xxx' is fine lah. Wait till your contractors just call you 'Dear'...
    You will then change all your contractors to cha bor only!

  6. #46
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by cwtan12 View Post
    What about 'Dearie'?
    I'm not sure about others, but I do think the word 'dearie' is very much the same as 'Dear' but added with a little more affectionate tone to it, thus, I do think it's better to use it for our special someone, partner or spouse is better.

  7. #47

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by cwtan12 View Post
    What about 'Dearie'?
    Though its the same meaning (I am assuming over here), I agree 'Dearie' seems to be more affectionate.

    Speaking from experience, I used to have acquaintances addressing me using 'Dearie'. And frankly speaking, it felt kinda funny to me.

    But Newman, I agree with one of your post - the tone and the body language does matter too.

  8. #48
    Senior Member Virgo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by sammy888 View Post
    I think it is a gender thingy in that sense. You hardly would think twice if you hear a lady in a casual conversation call you "dear". I know a few ladies who are very fond of using that...especially in a good mood. It came to the point that I know they are in a good mood and are responding positively to you when I hear them use "dear" often. I am not talking in the lovel dovey sense but it is just use as a more casual way of call you but in the most friendly but plutonic sense if you know what I mean. And among your buddies like my best guy friends...I would use dear as in .."this are my dear friends" or like in a toast "to my dear friends" Okay maybe Asian males still have some way to go to doing that but I am of those who see nothing wrong with using it on another guy in that sense. Of course if all you do is call your best friend ..."dear" each time you call out to him....hehehe..well, that just comes with a totally difference meaning entirely heheh....the same goes for addressing a lady "dear" too. I guess it is just more easier (although sometime confusing too) for a lady to use then it is for a men if all you call out to another person is "dear". It can hard to distinguish I guess but it also depends on you, the tone and situation when it is used. You usually can tell the difference and not get it mixed up.
    I think to use it as an adjective is fine, such as the ones you've mentioned, "to my dear friends",etc. However, to use it as a noun, such as "How are you today Dear?", one has to use it appropriately, not based on the mood and such. I don't think any of your those lady friends will say that in front of their male friends with their partners when they're in good mood!
    Kind Regards
    My Picture Website

  9. #49
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo View Post
    I don't think any of your those lady friends will say that in front of their male friends with their partners when they're in good mood!
    They may say it if they want to be in an even happier mood?

  10. #50
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    They may say it if they want to be in an even happier mood?
    You mean happier (in quotes)?
    Kind Regards
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  11. #51

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by cwtan12 View Post
    What about 'Dearie'?
    I use that a lot too!!!!

  12. #52

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Newman View Post
    I have a question on the informal use of the word 'dear'. Do you think it's alright to use in regular context between casual friends or do you think it should be reserved for someone you are very close with like a loved one? I'll like to use the following phrases as examples:

    How are you dear?
    Have you eaten dear?
    Bye dear!
    Dear... ( to get the person's attention)

    Please give me your opinions.

    Edit: I know it's commonly used between girls. But the context is between opposite sexes? I find it too intimate for casual use as only my wife will call me 'Dear'.
    I'm female and i don't call my girl friends "dear" leh..find it awkward. If they call me so will have goosebumps sia. As for opposite sex, only my buddy will jokingly call me dear. Find it weird if other people use it on me.

  13. #53

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Godzilla Invades View Post
    I use that a lot too!!!!
    So far only one who call me dearie all the time. Does it mean the same as Dear?

  14. #54

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by cwtan12 View Post
    So far only one who call me dearie all the time. Does it mean the same as Dear?
    Depends how you interpret it. He/She is your close friend?

    I don't have problem people calling me dearie or dear or darling or anything.

    To me, if your heart is pure and true to your love ones, whatever my friends call me is ok with me as long as they find it comfortable.

    There is always a line which one draws but so far I have never ever encounter any problems. Maybe I have understanding friends who are open minded (Most of them are young Asians executives).

  15. #55

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Godzilla Invades View Post
    Depends how you interpret it. He/She is your close friend?

    I don't have problem people calling me dearie or dear or darling or anything.

    To me, if your heart is pure and true to your love ones, whatever my friends call me is ok with me as long as they find it comfortable.

    There is always a line which one draws but so far I have never ever encounter any problems. Maybe I have understanding friends who are open minded (Most of them are young Asians executives).
    hahaa.. not only close but very close. She is not an executive but a top mgmt level staff for a MNC

  16. #56
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by cwtan12 View Post
    What about 'Dearie'?
    You must be talking to the angels?

  17. #57

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by cwtan12 View Post
    hahaa.. not only close but very close. She is not an executive but a top mgmt level staff for a MNC
    So are you married or have gf? If not, what's stopping you???????????

    GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  18. #58

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Godzilla Invades View Post
    So are you married or have gf? If not, what's stopping you???????????

    GO FOR IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    married in Singapore only. not yet in other countries
    Last edited by cwtan12; 26th August 2007 at 06:18 PM.

  19. #59

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    You must be talking to the angels?
    a bit chim to me. read from left, right, top and bottom still catch no ball lei..

  20. #60
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by cwtan12 View Post
    hahaa.. not only close but very close. She is not an executive but a top mgmt level staff for a MNC
    You must be her Angel:


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