View Poll Results: Is the use of the word 'dear' too intimate for casual friends?

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  • Yes

    52 34.67%
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    86 57.33%
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Thread: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by night86mare View Post


    Alamak Newman is actually serious, and not doing a Harry Potter!

    Well Newman it depends on the tone lor, if it's a close friend then usually they'd be close enough to know what your wife/gf is like and act accordingly, don't see any issue. For colleagues not close enough how can anyhow call like that

    If other guys goose your gf how ar DCA
    well, in asian context, normally u won't hear ppl call dear here dear there 1 rite...

    only those ang mos wannabes will go around say hey dear... long time no see dear, oh how have you been dear... oh dear, i miss you so much... blah blah blah...

    so if i am with my ang mo wannabe friends, most will know its a faking affair... haha...

    but if with those more conservative asian types... then you hear the person say, would you mind meeting me later, dear... ah... alarm ring liao... (esp those dear drag until broken record kind... )

    so what your fren kena?

    btw, i think i no need to be afraid for guys calling her dear, she is paranoid enuff to go around sniffing my dears already...
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  2. #22

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Newman View Post
    Dear would mean 'sweetheart' or 'darling' in the context of my wife and I. So would your girlfriend/wife mind if another girl calls you dear?
    I will go straight to the point ..... no one in the right mind will want to call another person DEAR in front of one's partner ..... that's common sense la.
    But if because of someone calling you DEAR and was overheard, and because of this there is a big fuss, then i think the relatioship is not that strong ....
    I know of many ppl who kiss or hug with friend/s/just-know friend, etc.... but of course never in front of their partner. and the thing is that it's a friendly/social gesture.
    always the Light, .... always.

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    ... she is paranoid enuff to go around sniffing my dears already...
    Last edited by eikin; 25th August 2007 at 05:32 PM.

  4. #24

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    well, in asian context, normally u won't hear ppl call dear here dear there 1 rite...

    only those ang mos wannabes will go around say hey dear... long time no see dear, oh how have you been dear... oh dear, i miss you so much... blah blah blah...

    so if i am with my ang mo wannabe friends, most will know its a faking affair... haha...

    but if with those more conservative asian types... then you hear the person say, would you mind meeting me later, dear... ah... alarm ring liao... (esp those dear drag until broken record kind... )

    so what your fren kena?

    btw, i think i no need to be afraid for guys calling her dear, she is paranoid enuff to go around sniffing my dears already...
    hahahaha
    sniffing my dears?
    ?!?!?!

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by night86mare View Post
    hahahaha
    sniffing my dears?
    ?!?!?!
    ya know... girls always have that kinda 6th sense thingy that guys are always unfaithful to them?

    mine have evolved from that, practically any woman within a 500m radius will be sniffed out... any closer will be dragged & slaughtered... cruxified then put into pig cage for drowning...

    i still remember a hidden alliance when i was out with my ex ex to a comics shop... then dunno what was we talking about, think its something about messing with girls... then the lady shopkeeper just eavedrop and say, 不要得罪女人, then my ex ex go, ya lor, you hear? then both strangers suddenly stand on the same line... i never seen brotherhood as strong as such sistarhood... esp from people who never knew one another...
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  6. #26

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    hahahaha

    OT

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TdUpjv3uhHg


    i dedicate this video to my dear harry potter

  7. #27

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Hi Newman,
    I don't think the word 'dear' can only exclusively be used between couples. As a matter of fact, I used the word 'dear' and 'sweetie' to address BOTH male and female CLOSE friends. Yes, I only use such terms on close friends and people that I have known for a very long time. That is just common sense. I also limit my usage on such terms on some of my male friends who are attached already. This is to minimize any confusion and misunderstandings to the lowest level.

    Till date, I haven't heard any of my friends shunning me or complaining to me using such words to address them. Therefore, I assume these terms are quite acceptable to most people in mutual relationships in today's society.

    Something to note - Certain industries tend to have a "higher usage" of such terms, even addressing fellow clients/colleagues/friends/pets/press/etc etc by the term "darling". In fact, it is a norm for them to do so. The media and especially the fashion industry are just a couple. This is just my 2 worth based on my observations after helping out at SFF for 2 consecutive years.

    {Mich}
    Last edited by mich_2103; 25th August 2007 at 05:52 PM.

  8. #28

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by mich_2103 View Post
    Hi Newman,
    I don't think the word 'dear' can only exclusively be used between couples. As a matter of fact, I used the word 'dear' and 'sweetie' to address BOTH male and female CLOSE friends. Yes, I only use such terms on close friends and people that I have known for a very long time. That is just common sense. I also limit my usage on such terms on some of my male friends who are attached already. This is to minimize any confusion and misunderstandings to the lowest level.

    Till date, I haven't heard any of my friends shunning me or complaining to me using such words to address them. Therefore, I assume these terms are quite acceptable to most people in mutual relationships in today's society.

    Something to note - Certain industries tend to have a "higher usage" of such terms, even addressing fellow clients/colleagues/friends/pets/press/etc etc by the term "darling". In fact, it is a norm for them to do so. The media and especially the fashion industry are just a couple. This is just my 2 worth based on my observations after helping out at SFF for 2 consecutive years.

    {Mich}
    Thanks for your feedback Mich. I think the word has been used too loosely in many context that some may tend to get carried with it and use it without thinking of the consequences. A friend of mine was criticised for using it too casually with her male colleagues whom are not close to her. She's a divorcee and her male colleagues are married. She didn't see the harm of it and she asked for my opinion. Yes, in some industries, it is 'fashionable' to use terms of endearment like 'darling', 'honey', etc. to address one another. But my friend is not in such an industry.

  9. #29

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    I always email with DEAR as a greeting. It sounds better than TO.
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  10. #30
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Canonised View Post
    I use 'Dear' to address any models, and no one has ever been bothered yet....
    Even if I write ..... "Dear Sion ......." dont think he will mind.
    Only aunties call me "Dear".

  11. #31

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by adamadam View Post
    I always email with DEAR as a greeting. It sounds better than TO.
    It is perfectly fine if you are familiar or close to the one you are addressing. However, sometimes people may object if it's used in a formal context and you are not close to him.

  12. #32
    Senior Member redstone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Only aunties call me "Dear".
    I worked in sales. I've been called everything from my name to oi, hey, excuse, ah boy, ah di, mister, uncle ( ), FRIEND, handsome, aye, ah, boy ah, sir, but never 'dear'.

  13. #33
    Senior Member redstone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by adamadam View Post
    I always email with DEAR as a greeting. It sounds better than TO.
    DEAR in formal letter is perfectly fine

  14. #34
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by redstone View Post
    I worked in sales. I've been called everything from my name to oi, hey, excuse, ah boy, ah di, mister, uncle ( ), FRIEND, handsome, aye, ah, boy ah, sir, but never 'dear'.
    cos u know y?

    you sell too expensive that they don't find u a dear...

    time to reflect on your pricing.
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  15. #35

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Newman View Post
    I have a question on the informal use of the word 'dear'. Do you think it's alright to use in regular context between casual friends or do you think it should be reserved for someone you are very close with like a loved one? I'll like to use the following phrases as examples:

    How are you dear?
    Have you eaten dear?
    Bye dear!
    Dear... ( to get the person's attention)

    Please give me your opinions.

    Edit: I know it's commonly used between girls. But the context is between opposite sexes? I find it too intimate for casual use as only my wife will call me 'Dear'.
    Dear Newman, also long long time no see huh?

    Cannot be so coincidence hor ,,, I just type Dear Bob on another thread ,,,,,,

    P/S : some of my contractor call me Dear Ong ...
    Last edited by KNIGHT ONG; 25th August 2007 at 06:47 PM.
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  16. #36
    Senior Member Virgo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    It really depends. In written context, such as Dear so-and-so, it's a courteous way of addressing someone, rather than using Hi so-and-so.

    If you're using dear for nobody's business, such as 'have you had your dinner dear' and 'how's your day dear', then you better think twice who are you talking to. If it's just a casual friend, especially one of the opposite gender, then it's not so appropriate. If it's the same gender, what will others think!

    However, there are also exceptions. One example is that my ex-boss who is a lady more senior (in age) than us, and have been working with us for quite some time. She's like a mother to us, always there to help when we met with problems. She used to call everyone of us her dears. We find that's very nice and soothing, especially during times of crisis.

    So it really depends. Use it wisely, not freely.
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  17. #37
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo View Post
    It really depends. In written context, such as Dear so-and-so, it's a courteous way of addressing someone, rather than using Hi so-and-so.
    It is so casually done these day in email to say "hi so and so" to start it off. But for letters and even more official email...we are still stuck in the traditional ways and am comfortable with still address people as Dear Ms Teo, Dear Mr Lee, Dear Value Customer..etc


    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo View Post
    If you're using dear for nobody's business, such as 'have you had your dinner dear' and 'how's your day dear', then you better think twice who are you talking to. If it's just a casual friend, especially one of the opposite gender, then it's not so appropriate. If it's the same gender, what will others think!
    I think it is a gender thingy in that sense. You hardly would think twice if you hear a lady in a casual conversation call you "dear". I know a few ladies who are very fond of using that...especially in a good mood. It came to the point that I know they are in a good mood and are responding positively to you when I hear them use "dear" often. I am not talking in the lovel dovey sense but it is just use as a more casual way of call you but in the most friendly but plutonic sense if you know what I mean. And among your buddies like my best guy friends...I would use dear as in .."this are my dear friends" or like in a toast "to my dear friends" Okay maybe Asian males still have some way to go to doing that but I am of those who see nothing wrong with using it on another guy in that sense. Of course if all you do is call your best friend ..."dear" each time you call out to him....hehehe..well, that just comes with a totally difference meaning entirely heheh....the same goes for addressing a lady "dear" too. I guess it is just more easier (although sometime confusing too) for a lady to use then it is for a men if all you call out to another person is "dear". It can hard to distinguish I guess but it also depends on you, the tone and situation when it is used. You usually can tell the difference and not get it mixed up.


    Quote Originally Posted by Virgo View Post
    However, there are also exceptions. One example is that my ex-boss who is a lady more senior (in age) than us, and have been working with us for quite some time. She's like a mother to us, always there to help when we met with problems. She used to call everyone of us her dears. We find that's very nice and soothing, especially during times of crisis.So it really depends. Use it wisely, not freely.
    heheh this one is very common when you have one being so much the "mother hen" and you are her favorite chicks hehehe...

    One of the strangest word we ever invented huh? it is just one of those tricky word that can be used in so many ways from something so casual, inconsequential... almost insignificant to one person but yet to another people it is use to discribe your significant other to whom you would give your life for. heh.

  18. #38

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Newman View Post
    Thanks for your feedback Mich. I think the word has been used too loosely in many context that some may tend to get carried with it and use it without thinking of the consequences. A friend of mine was criticised for using it too casually with her male colleagues whom are not close to her. She's a divorcee and her male colleagues are married. She didn't see the harm of it and she asked for my opinion. Yes, in some industries, it is 'fashionable' to use terms of endearment like 'darling', 'honey', etc. to address one another. But my friend is not in such an industry.
    Newman, you don't have to be in a Fashion industry to call them dear.

    What Mich was trying to point out is as long as the other party is comfortable with it, there is no harm done. Meaning if your female colleague is a divorcee and your male colleagues are married, it's ok to use it when both party is comfortable with it. We should not take things too seriously unless there is some kinda of advances (which may lead to touches or eye contacts).

    Oh by the way, asking a male dominant website such as CS is not a very wise idea as you can see. Females on the other hand are better in responding to your plight.

    For me, many of my regular clients which are females will call me all sorts including "dear", "darling", "wei" and some of us even go to the extend of pecking our cheeks on theirs. So far as I know it's just a casual remark as my regular clients knows I am married. So I will respond on what they respond.

  19. #39
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    If we start to call each other "dear" here we are risking turning CS into ClubSarong.

  20. #40

    Default Re: Usage of the word 'Dear'.

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    If we start to call each other "dear" here we are risking turning CS into ClubSarong.
    CLUB SOTONG.

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