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Thread: persistent wooer...help!

  1. #381

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    now that's crude.
    but i'm sure he's done that.

    that's why i'll never ask him dabao for me.
    dont worry la .... heard of DIY "paperboxed bao" scandal in China, but yet to have a DIY "Creme bao" story ....
    always the Light, .... always.

  2. #382
    Senior Member asterixsg's Avatar
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lmodel View Post
    My gf encountered the same problem.

    She just started working in her new company months back. Being in the same department, she went for lunch with him, etc. and she thinks nothing of it. Within few days, the guy started asking her out for a date, etc.. Despite of her mentioning that she's attached, it doesnt helps. The infatuation grows and she started to avoid him totally. The phone calls and sms doesnt seems to stop to the extend she started getting alittle paranoid.

    She finally trashes all out with the guy and the guy has a immediate change of attitude. Before, the guy used to be extremely helpful at work and now, u guess it. Now, he doesnt even help and asked a lady to carry over 10kg of equipments.

    If you are ready to "tear" your face with him, trash it out straight in the office and in the presence of many. It should be a good "wakeup" call for him.

    Cheers
    Kudos to your girlfriend . You've got yourself someone very special. Good luck mate.
    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt....

  3. #383
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by lsisaxon View Post
    Or is it the other way round, once you post your photo, you fear you'll get more persistent wooers?
    to add to her troubles, now clubsnap logging online have another bunch of persistant wooers
    chezburgr i can haz?

  4. #384
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by deckard View Post
    I remember the long lens avatar. but that new avatar is new? look closer.
    your eyes on macro mode ah

    although that looks like a 70-200mm
    chezburgr i can haz?

  5. #385
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by asterixsg View Post
    Kudos to your girlfriend . You've got yourself someone very special. Good luck mate.
    I read and read but couldnt understand if there's any hidden agenda to your statement
    Last edited by Lmodel; 31st July 2007 at 12:33 PM.

  6. #386
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Just my suggestion:

    Have a chat with him but with some other friends around ( you should not be alone with him )
    Let him know what you're uncomfortable with. ie: waiting for you at the lift lobby, his many work unrelated emails and sms, being overly concern about you, etc.
    Let him know that every girl will find that a little scary, you included.
    Tell him that the way it is right now, you feel that he's like a stalker and you fear for your own safty whenever he's around.
    Tell him that unless he stops all this and gives you your breathing space, you can't even stand being in the same room with him much less accept him as a normal friend.

    If he say, he's just concern about you, he just want to get to know you better, he just want to have a better working relation with you, etc, etc, you have to insist that, regardless of what is his reason, that is how he have created a sense of fear/disgust in you. If he ask you to just give him a chance to know you better and that you just don't understand him, tell him that every friendship is base on trust and a comfortable feeling around each other, now that he have created a feeling of fear and disgust in you, how to be friends? If he back off, and give you a few mths to get over your present feelings, show that he's not a persistant stalker, there may be a chance for you to accept him as just a normal friend.

    Hope it helps
    I get paid more shooting part time ...... damn, I should find more time to shoot part time

  7. #387

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Change company

  8. #388
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    With a happy end like "Sleepless in Seattle"?
    I was thinking more of death and destruction all over the place

    Anyway back to the topic, I still think an open honest conversation with that woo-er is best, what do u have to loose anyway?

    If that guy say u mistaken (and thick skinned) and he just treat u like sista, the most is people will just suan you for awhile.

    But if u let things continue, people might think that you're just using your looks to string him out and take advantage of that guy...

    Have a one to one talk lor, (give him some chance to save face). If still don't listen then u have to do the 'extreme makeover' version like what the others says here.

    Worst case scenario (last option?): u can let your boss know and have your boss talk to him coz its affecting your work... (boss) (woo-er?)

  9. #389
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    As I've suggested in post#400, I think that it's better not to meet him 1 on 1. Reasons being:
    You don't know what is going to happen in the 1 on 1 meeting as the guy seems a little unbalance/odd going by what jeanie have descripted so far
    What if he don't take it the right way.
    He may though that she's willing to meet him 1 on 1
    You're trying to tell him how uncomfortable/insecure you are with him, yet you're comfortable/secure enough to meet him 1 on 1?
    It's better to have someone else around so as not to give him the wrong idea
    Withregards to letting him save face, she have already told him in his face to leave her alone and he's still doing all this.
    Friends there can help to enforce her point.

    Just my opinion and it's up to jeanie to consider.
    I get paid more shooting part time ...... damn, I should find more time to shoot part time

  10. #390

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by FooFighter View Post
    It could turn into "Terminator 4 : Jeanie's Office"

    Actually this whole situation looks like the movie 'Something About Mary'. Jeanie, u should watch it to help you destress. Really nice.

  11. #391

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by psychobiologist View Post
    to add to her troubles, now clubsnap logging online have another bunch of persistant wooers
    Yeah.. now there are so many who is interested to see how this headless Jeanie looks like.. . I think this is one of the fastest thread!!

  12. #392

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by lsisaxon View Post
    Yeah.. now there are so many who is interested to see how this headless Jeanie looks like.. . I think this is one of the fastest thread!!
    Yah lor... I have only seen her from the back in a restaurant. Should have popped over to say hi.

  13. #393

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by yqt View Post
    As I've suggested in post#400, I think that it's better not to meet him 1 on 1. Reasons being:
    You don't know what is going to happen in the 1 on 1 meeting as the guy seems a little unbalance/odd going by what jeanie have descripted so far
    What if he don't take it the right way.
    He may though that she's willing to meet him 1 on 1
    You're trying to tell him how uncomfortable/insecure you are with him, yet you're comfortable/secure enough to meet him 1 on 1?
    It's better to have someone else around so as not to give him the wrong idea
    Withregards to letting him save face, she have already told him in his face to leave her alone and he's still doing all this.
    Friends there can help to enforce her point.

    Just my opinion and it's up to jeanie to consider.
    why u think i suggest she keep pepper spray in her purse?

  14. #394
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by garou12 View Post
    why u think i suggest she keep pepper spray in her purse?
    pepper spray .... who knows, he may get a high from it? Friend better, maybe one of the girls there have an interest in him? Problem solved on the spot!!!
    I get paid more shooting part time ...... damn, I should find more time to shoot part time

  15. #395

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by yqt View Post
    pepper spray .... who knows, he may get a high from it? Friend better, maybe one of the girls there have an interest in him? Problem solved on the spot!!!
    the only way he'd get a rise outta it is if he's into S&M...and that would be really freaky.

  16. #396

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by FooFighter View Post
    Just my 2 cents worth, I think u should just be (brutally) honest with him. He'll respect you for being so honest and you two can just be friends

    At the end of the day, just let him understand that "mian qiang si mei yo xing fu" i.e things cannot be forced.. you don't like him means you don't like him.
    4th time i have to repeat myself.

    i DID.

  17. #397

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by wasabi8888 View Post
    Jeanie, you mentioned that you told him off a few times. Have you actually spoken to him and got his reply/answer on why he is doing this after all your rejections?

    Does he know what are the consequences of his actions? So far, unless it's lost somewhere, I have not seen his verbal reactions.
    5th time i repeat.
    yes, i told him off.in the face, outright spoken, a big NO NO NO to the power of infinity.

    he says i cant stop him from wooing me.it's his 'rights'.

  18. #398

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    5th time i repeat.
    yes, i told him off.in the face, outright spoken, a big NO NO NO to the power of infinity.

    he says i cant stop him from wooing me.it's his 'rights'.
    It's not his right to stalk you though. the carpark behavior is already showing signs of it. Did he change his pattern today since you came to the office earlier?

  19. #399
    Senior Member asterixsg's Avatar
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Lmodel View Post
    I read and read but couldnt understand if there's any hidden agenda to your statement
    Bro. I am congratulating you on having a fantastic girlfriend. As simple as that. She's one smart girl, who knew how to settle it the right way.

    No hidden meaning or agenda. Apologies, if you saw something hidden in that statement.
    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt....

  20. #400

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by nottipiglet View Post
    Yah lor... I have only seen her from the back in a restaurant. Should have popped over to say hi.
    i dine in restaurants every weekend.u can try your luck again.if it's family dinner, i will surely bring my cam with me.though it may not be d200 anymore.

    good luck!

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