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Thread: persistent wooer...help!

  1. #361
    Senior Member wranger's Avatar
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    i'm really both.
    phee and pher.
    I used to know a jeanie too. She was a bit of both.
    UK HMS Photojournalist

  2. #362
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by wranger View Post
    I used to know a jeanie too. She was a bit of both.
    the jeanie i know in my poly was more of a photograph-ee...

    pai seh, a bit OT liaoz..

  3. #363

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by wranger View Post
    I used to know a jeanie too. She was a bit of both.
    I used to know a Jeanie too and she was my secondary school Form teacher

    She used to give me extra English tuition after class cuz my English sucks.

    Hey, looking at Jeanie's avatar, I think there are some similarities... at least from the recollections of a 14 year old, that was pretty much what I remembered from my English teacher

    It seems everyone here know of a Jeanie. Wonder if there are any of my old school mates here who knows of the Jeanie Teacher.

  4. #364
    Senior Member asterixsg's Avatar
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    after reading your post, i sat down and think hard.i really dont think i've ever 'encouraged' his moves.

    thanks for the concern srini.
    Good for you then. You've got a thousand suggestions here on how to get rid of this guy. Now, please put them into action. The sooner you do, the better its for you. I don't need to tell you that, right ? The TRUTH is always the best option, even if it hurts. If you are not confident of doing it alone, take your best friend along. Take care. We need a good portrait photographer in ClubSNAP And you can't be at your creative best, when you've got morons like this guy to worry about
    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt....

  5. #365

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by wind30 View Post
    I used to know a Jeanie too and she was my secondary school Form teacher

    She used to give me extra English tuition after class cuz my English sucks.

    Hey, looking at Jeanie's avatar, I think there are some similarities... at least from the recollections of a 14 year old, that was pretty much what I remembered from my English teacher

    It seems everyone here know of a Jeanie. Wonder if there are any of my old school mates here who knows of the Jeanie Teacher.

    are u indirectly trying to say i'lm damn old?

  6. #366

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by asterixsg View Post
    Good for you then. You've got a thousand suggestions here on how to get rid of this guy. Now, please put them into action. The sooner you do, the better its for you. I don't need to tell you that, right ? The TRUTH is always the best option, even if it hurts. If you are not confident of doing it alone, take your best friend along. Take care. We need a good portrait photographer in ClubSNAP And you can't be at your creative best, when you've got morons like this guy to worry about
    yup thanks.i've got heaps of suggestions from this thread.and i'll surely put some into practice.
    already started since 7am this morning.

  7. #367

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    i have been doing that for almost the past 6 months.
    persistent rejection.
    more like "persistent ejections" from him ....
    always the Light, .... always.

  8. #368

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Canonised View Post
    more like "persistent ejections" from him ....
    now that's crude.
    but i'm sure he's done that.

    that's why i'll never ask him dabao for me.

  9. #369

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    yup thanks.i've got heaps of suggestions from this thread.and i'll surely put some into practice.
    already started since 7am this morning.
    What if he reads this forum?

  10. #370
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by jeanie View Post
    i woke up early and reach office at 0730 hrs.
    i didnt see him at the lift lobby!
    YEH!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Do be careful if he knows you come to work early. Coming too early also no gd, wonder if you could be late sometimes. Or is that an alternative way up to your office.

    Now you have a temp solution to your first problem, next I believe he would find all sort of chance to talk to u in office. If you are sitting in a room, lock the door and if he calls you, see if he's talking business or not. If not, cut off the line.

  11. #371
    Senior Member asterixsg's Avatar
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by nottipiglet View Post
    What if he reads this forum?
    Actually, that would be the best thing to happen
    At least the moron will understand that by his so called infatuation, he is messing up someone's life.
    The trouble with the world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt....

  12. #372
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Just my 2 cents worth, I think u should just be (brutally) honest with him. He'll respect you for being so honest and you two can just be friends

    At the end of the day, just let him understand that "mian qiang si mei yo xing fu" i.e things cannot be forced.. you don't like him means you don't like him.

  13. #373

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Tell him that you will never get involved with anyone at work because you value professionalism...

    If he is as crazy as you say, he will quit...

    Then at least you will be rid of him for most part of the day.

    Evil right?

  14. #374

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Then we have enough materials for "Basic Instinct III".
    As long as it doesn't become "Fatal Attraction II".

  15. #375

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    For a guy to really love (not like) a girl, he will not want to hurt her, pressurise her or make her feel uncomfortable in any way.

    To tell him you have a boy friend won't help ... you can break up. Have a husband? Can divorce!

    He is just being selfish, self-centred, and I would think he loves himself more than his 'girl friend'.

    Ignore his existence in totality. If work requires you to deal with him, deal with him as an object, an entity.

    Cut off any trace of emotion. When he jokes, appear blank, when he cries: blank, chit chat: blank ... only react when it's about work that you have to handle.

    When he goes away, should you not throw a party for us all?

  16. #376
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    It could turn into "Endless Love II"?
    It could turn into "Terminator 4 : Jeanie's Office"

  17. #377
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    With a happy end like "Sleepless in Seattle"?
    and alternate ending like Butterfly effect?
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

  18. #378

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    so many endings. remind me of the "choose your own adventure" game books.

  19. #379

    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    Quote Originally Posted by asterixsg View Post
    Jeanie,
    No offence, but based on what I had 'seen' and 'heard' of you on this forum, I had the impression that you were perfectly capable of handling a situation like this.

    As an attractive woman, you are bound to have your share of admirers. Last night I used the word 'pervert' for this guy. Actually, unless he does something obscene, I doubt I can classify him as a pervert. He is just an obsessive guy, totally infatuated with you. At some point, you might have unconsciously encouraged his moves. You might have found it pleasing to have someone worry after you. And this guy obviously got the wrong signals and went the wrong way.

    The best way to deal with this is to tell him the truth. Getting another guy to go with you, coming to work early, going late etc. etc. are not gonna work. He will come up with ways to counteract your every move. Sit with him and tell him you DON'T CARE. Tell him if he wants to work with you, he better be professional about it - cut the personal crap. If he wants to break down and cry, so be it. If push comes to shove, threaten him. Tell him you will report to HR and that will be the end of the road for him. If he persists outside work, you can/should go to the police.

    After all, you've got to choose what's important to you - your life and your sanity or your career.

    There are all kinds of morons in this world, I just hope and wish that you get this guy off your back. Stay safe and take care.
    Jeanie, you mentioned that you told him off a few times. Have you actually spoken to him and got his reply/answer on why he is doing this after all your rejections?

    Does he know what are the consequences of his actions? So far, unless it's lost somewhere, I have not seen his verbal reactions.
    Nikon D700, VR Micro-105mm f/2.8G, 17-35mm f/2.8D, AF 50mm f/1.4D, 24-70mm f/2.8D

  20. #380
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    Default Re: persistent wooer...help!

    My gf encountered the same problem.

    She just started working in her new company months back. Being in the same department, she went for lunch with him, etc. and she thinks nothing of it. Within few days, the guy started asking her out for a date, etc.. Despite of her mentioning that she's attached, it doesnt helps. The infatuation grows and she started to avoid him totally. The phone calls and sms doesnt seems to stop to the extend she started getting alittle paranoid.

    She finally trashes all out with the guy and the guy has a immediate change of attitude. Before, the guy used to be extremely helpful at work and now, u guess it. Now, he doesnt even help and asked a lady to carry over 10kg of equipments.

    If you are ready to "tear" your face with him, trash it out straight in the office and in the presence of many. It should be a good "wakeup" call for him.

    Cheers

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