Artery The study of paintings

Bacteria Back door to cafeteria

Barium What doctors do when a patient dies

Benign What you be, after you be eight

Caesarean Section A neighbourhood in Rome

Catscan Searching for kitty

Cauterize Made eye contact with her

Colic A sheep dog

Coma A punctuation mark

Dilate To live long

Enema Not a friend

Fester Quicker than someone else

Impotent Distinguished, well known

Labour pain Getting hurt at work

Medical staff A Doctor’s cane

Morbid A higher offer

Nitrates Cheaper than day rates

Node I knew it

Outpatient A person who has fainted

Pelvis Second cousin to Elvis

Post Operative A letter carrier

Recovery room Place to do upholstery

Rectum Nearly killed him

Secretion Hiding something

Seizure Roman emperor

Tablet A small table

Terminal illness Getting sic at airport

Tumour One plus one more

Urine Opposite of you’re out

2 x Condoms To be sure, to be sure