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Thread: Singlish

  1. #1
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    Smile Singlish

    Singlish is quite literally the short form of English....

    Why do we insist on using the Queen's English, when Singlish is so much more economical and effective? Compare and see!

    When going shopping...
    Britons : I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
    S'poreans: No Stock!

    When returning a call...
    Britons : Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
    S'poreans: Hello, who page?

    When someone is in the way...
    Britons : Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
    S'poreans: Lai, siam! or Siam, hor! or Skius!

    When someone offers to pay...
    Britons : Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
    S'poreans: No-nid. (no need)

    When asking for permission...
    Britons : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
    S'poreans: (while pointing at door) Can or Not?

    When asking to be excused...
    Britons : If you would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Please carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
    S'poreans: Go toilet. Cannot tahan oreddy.

    When entertaining...
    Britons : Please make yourself right at home.
    S'poreans: Don't shy, leh!

    When doubting someone...
    Britons : I don't recall you giving me the money.
    S'poreans: Where got?

    When declining an offer...
    Britons : I'd prefer no to do that, if you don't mind.
    S'poreans: Doe-waaaan.

    When deciding on a plan of action...
    Britons : What do you propose we do now that the movie's sold out & all the restaurants are closed?
    S'poreans: So how?

    When disagreeing on a topic of discussion...
    Britons : Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the policy.
    S'poreans: Talk ****, lah you!

    When asking someone to lower their voice...
    Britons : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
    S'poreans: Eh, tiam, can or not?

    When asking someone if he/she knows you...
    Britons : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
    S'poreans: See what See?
    除了爱, 我一无所有

  2. #2

    Default Re: Singlish

    bring back Phua Chu Kang?

  3. #3
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Singlish is quite literally the short form of English....

    Why do we insist on using the Queen's English, when Singlish is so much more economical and effective? Compare and see!

    When going shopping...
    Britons : I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
    S'poreans: No Stock!
    Australian: Ain't got it

    When returning a call...
    Britons : Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
    S'poreans: Hello, who page?
    Australian: If they call back I'm at the pub

    When someone is in the way...
    Britons : Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
    S'poreans: Lai, siam! or Siam, hor! or Skius!
    Australian: Pi55 off

    When someone offers to pay...
    Britons : Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
    S'poreans: No-nid. (no need)
    Australian: My shout

    When asking for permission...
    Britons : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
    S'poreans: (while pointing at door) Can or Not?
    Australian: "Hey ya fly's undun" and walks past

    When asking to be excused...
    Britons : If you would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Please carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
    S'poreans: Go toilet. Cannot tahan oreddy.
    Australian: Goin' to the dunny

    When entertaining...
    Britons : Please make yourself right at home.
    S'poreans: Don't shy, leh!
    Australian: G'day grab a tinny from the fridge

    When doubting someone...
    Britons : I don't recall you giving me the money.
    S'poreans: Where got?
    Australian: Don't 5hit me just hand it over

    When declining an offer...
    Britons : I'd prefer no to do that, if you don't mind.
    S'poreans: Doe-waaaan.
    Australian: Ahh pi55 off

    When deciding on a plan of action...
    Britons : What do you propose we do now that the movie's sold out & all the restaurants are closed?
    S'poreans: So how?
    Australian: Lets go to the servo for a pie

    When disagreeing on a topic of discussion...
    Britons : Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the policy.
    S'poreans: Talk ****, lah you!
    Australian: Ya full of 5hit

    When asking someone to lower their voice...
    Britons : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
    S'poreans: Eh, tiam, can or not?
    Australian: Shut the ***** up

    When asking someone if he/she knows you...
    Britons : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
    S'poreans: See what See?
    Australian: What ya lookin at ya poof
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  4. #4

    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
    Singlish is quite literally the short form of English....

    Why do we insist on using the Queen's English, when Singlish is so much more economical and effective? Compare and see!

    When going shopping...
    Britons : I'm sorry, Sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
    S'poreans: No Stock!
    Australian: Ain't got it
    Hawaiian= no moa (no more)

    When returning a call...
    Britons : Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
    S'poreans: Hello, who page?
    Australian: If they call back I'm at the pub
    Hawaiian= eh, who dis

    When someone is in the way...
    Britons : Excuse me, I'd like to get by. Would you please make way?
    S'poreans: Lai, siam! or Siam, hor! or Skius!
    Australian: Pi55 off
    Hawaiian= move

    When someone offers to pay...
    Britons : Hey, put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
    S'poreans: No-nid. (no need)
    Australian: My shout
    Hawaiian= i get 'em

    When asking for permission...
    Britons : Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
    S'poreans: (while pointing at door) Can or Not?
    Australian: "Hey ya fly's undun" and walks past
    Hawaiian= "nod head while eyes look at what you want or what you want to do" then say can

    When asking to be excused...
    Britons : If you would excuse me for a moment, I have to go to the gents/ladies. Please carry on without me, it would only take a moment.
    S'poreans: Go toilet. Cannot tahan oreddy.
    Australian: Goin' to the dunny
    Hawaiian= bags heavy

    When entertaining...
    Britons : Please make yourself right at home.
    S'poreans: Don't shy, leh!
    Australian: G'day grab a tinny from the fridge
    Hawaiian= no shame, make house

    When doubting someone...
    Britons : I don't recall you giving me the money.
    S'poreans: Where got?
    Australian: Don't 5hit me just hand it over
    Hawaiian= Brah, no ack (act)

    When declining an offer...
    Britons : I'd prefer no to do that, if you don't mind.
    S'poreans: Doe-waaaan.
    Australian: Ahh pi55 off
    Hawaiian= nah

    When deciding on a plan of action...
    Britons : What do you propose we do now that the movie's sold out & all the restaurants are closed?
    S'poreans: So how?
    Australian: Lets go to the servo for a pie
    Hawaiian= what you tink

    When disagreeing on a topic of discussion...
    Britons : Err. Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the policy.
    S'poreans: Talk ****, lah you!
    Australian: Ya full of 5hit
    Hawaiian= shooo-ah (sure)

    When asking someone to lower their voice...
    Britons : Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice, I'm trying to concentrate over here.
    S'poreans: Eh, tiam, can or not?
    Australian: Shut the ***** up
    Hawaiian= kuli-kuli (shut up)

    When asking someone if he/she knows you...
    Britons : Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for some time. Do I know you?
    S'poreans: See what See?
    Australian: What ya lookin at ya poof
    Hawaiian= who you?

  5. #5

    Default Re: Singlish

    totally agreed, Singlish is the way to go.... use if for my presentation and draw even more attention and laughters in lessons....

  6. #6

    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by Ola View Post
    When returning a call...
    Britons : Hello, this is Mr Bean. Did anyone page for me a few moments ago?
    S'poreans: Hello, who page?
    thought is "siang ka pager??"

    anyway nowadays everyone got handphone already, even primary sch kids

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by pai View Post
    thought is "siang ka pager??"

    anyway nowadays everyone got handphone already, even primary sch kids
    nowadays.. missed call = "siang ka dian wei" or "siang ka hor wah"
    爱是要时间慢慢培养的。。

  8. #8
    Member Reinhardt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Dunno eh. I still find myself using almost-perfect English everyday.

    I think the last one would be more apt if it was "kua simi?"

  9. #9
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    A Department Head emailed me:

    "Please refrain from using Singlish in your official communication as it is unacceptable in our international company."

    So I replied:

    "Why cannot one hah? I talk like this so long already."


  10. #10
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by pai View Post
    thought is "siang ka pager??"

    anyway nowadays everyone got handphone already, even primary sch kids
    Quote Originally Posted by furrycake View Post
    nowadays.. missed call = "siang ka dian wei" or "siang ka hor wah"
    Quote Originally Posted by Reinhardt View Post
    Dunno eh. I still find myself using almost-perfect English everyday.

    I think the last one would be more apt if it was "kua simi?"
    Those are hokkien lah .... not Singlish ....
    除了爱, 我一无所有

  11. #11
    Member Reinhardt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Then, "Eh, tiam, can or not?" also hokkien mah (although got similar word in Malay lah)

  12. #12
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    A Department Head emailed me:

    "Please refrain from using Singlish in your official communication as it is unacceptable in our international company."

    So I replied:

    "Why cannot one hah? I talk like this so long already."

    Good one
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  13. #13

    Default Re: Singlish

    Singlish?


    Also caaan !
    Even if I do not agree with you, I will always fight for you to have your say.

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Singlish

    I was enroute to Europe via transit in KL airport. When my friend and I were entering the gate, we were stopped by the Malaysian airport security..

    Maybe my hair was a bit messy, maybe I forgot to shave, but we were asked to step aside for some document checks/clarifications..

    When I asked, "What seems to be the matter, sir?" (in my most proper English), I was told it was to check for illegal immigrants with forged documents.. The guard also added that a dozen or so illegals from Myanmar were detained the previous week..

    A bulb went off in my head and so I exclaimed (in my most proper Hougang-accented Singlish), "Wah lau eh! That's the whole bloody kampong!".. The guard smiled sheepishly and immediately waved us through the gate, saying that only a Singaporean can pull off such a statement..

    All Hail Singlish!!

    Cheers!

    (ps: I am told that residents of Birmingham (UK) are fond adding "Lah" to the back of a sentence in colloquial speech..)

  15. #15

    Default Re: Singlish

    Wooahahahah ! That's a really good one !

    Loving it !


    Quote Originally Posted by Ally View Post
    I was enroute to Europe via transit in KL airport. When my friend and I were entering the gate, we were stopped by the Malaysian airport security..

    Maybe my hair was a bit messy, maybe I forgot to shave, but we were asked to step aside for some document checks/clarifications..

    When I asked, "What seems to be the matter, sir?" (in my most proper English), I was told it was to check for illegal immigrants with forged documents.. The guard also added that a dozen or so illegals from Myanmar were detained the previous week..

    A bulb went off in my head and so I exclaimed (in my most proper Hougang-accented Singlish), "Wah lau eh! That's the whole bloody kampong!".. The guard smiled sheepishly and immediately waved us through the gate, saying that only a Singaporean can pull off such a statement..

    All Hail Singlish!!

    Cheers!

    (ps: I am told that residents of Birmingham (UK) are fond adding "Lah" to the back of a sentence in colloquial speech..)
    Even if I do not agree with you, I will always fight for you to have your say.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by Ola View Post
    Those are hokkien lah .... not Singlish ....
    oh then missed call = "who called me ah?"
    爱是要时间慢慢培养的。。

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by Ally View Post
    I was enroute to Europe via transit in KL airport. When my friend and I were entering the gate, we were stopped by the Malaysian airport security..

    Maybe my hair was a bit messy, maybe I forgot to shave, but we were asked to step aside for some document checks/clarifications..

    When I asked, "What seems to be the matter, sir?" (in my most proper English), I was told it was to check for illegal immigrants with forged documents.. The guard also added that a dozen or so illegals from Myanmar were detained the previous week..

    A bulb went off in my head and so I exclaimed (in my most proper Hougang-accented Singlish), "Wah lau eh! That's the whole bloody kampong!".. The guard smiled sheepishly and immediately waved us through the gate, saying that only a Singaporean can pull off such a statement..

    All Hail Singlish!!

    Cheers!

    (ps: I am told that residents of Birmingham (UK) are fond adding "Lah" to the back of a sentence in colloquial speech..)
    wah seh good pts sia, must put my singlish into good use liao. i got questioned before and both sides customs wont believe me singaporean. way to go!
    爱是要时间慢慢培养的。。

  18. #18
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by Ally View Post
    I am told that residents of Birmingham (UK) are fond adding "Lah" to the back of a sentence in colloquial speech..
    Has it ever ocurred to you that they are all Ex-Singaporeans?

  19. #19
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    At our company annual dinner, first the general manager made a speech in his impeccable oversea educated English.

    Then the Chairman spoke beginning with:

    "Canterladdy and Cantermen,
    Tonight so many people came.
    We happy that this company do well.
    Come, come everybody eat eat.
    Drink not enough can call some more."

    He owned the compnay no one could fault his English.

  20. #20
    Member Reinhardt's Avatar
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    Default Re: Singlish

    Quote Originally Posted by Ally View Post
    (ps: I am told that residents of Birmingham (UK) are fond adding "Lah" to the back of a sentence in colloquial speech..)
    My friends in the USA are guilty of that too, esp. one, she came to SG for the first time, and when we talked she added 'lah' behind, and I asked her about it, she said her town in Texas everyone speaks like that.

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