View Poll Results: Who do you consider as your immediate family members?

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  • Spouse only

    1 1.82%
  • Spouse and Children only

    8 14.55%
  • Spouse and Children and Parents

    29 52.73%
  • Spouse and Children and Parents and Grandparents

    17 30.91%
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Thread: Who do you consider as your immediate family

  1. #21
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    Hi Pual,

    If we make the situation as bit more complicated; the father met an accident and is in coma. The doctor needs the immediate family member to make the medical decision, who should be the one to make the decision?
    The mother (his wife) first and formost (if in a state to do so).

    Children second.

    Doctor third.

    CS opinion poll fifth.
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    I would consider those close family members one generation up and down. That means if I'm single, I would consider parents and siblings as immediate family. When I'm married, it'll be spouse, children and parents. If I'm not wrong, in an insurance claim, if there is no beneficiary stated, as a single the 1st claim goes to parents. And when married, it'll 1st go to spouse, followed by children, then to parents.
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  3. #23
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Pablo View Post
    The mother (his wife) first and formost (if in a state to do so).

    Children second.

    Doctor third.

    CS opinion poll fifth.
    Who is fourth??
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  4. #24

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    people brought up in orphanage dont have immediate family members other than their care taker

  5. #25

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul_Yeo View Post
    if an accident happens, and the immediate family need to be contacted, would u say "pls call my papa and ma ma" or "call my wife and my kids"?
    Call my siblings! cause my parents are too old to handle this.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    Hi Pual,

    If we make the situation as bit more complicated; the father met an accident and is in coma. The doctor needs the immediate family member to make the medical decision, who should be the one to make the decision?
    Mother! Then follow by eldest child all the way to the youngest child (if they are of decision making age like in their late 10s at least)

    On another note, who is your ICE contact? Mine are my mei and jie.

  6. #26

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    Hi Pual,

    If we make the situation as bit more complicated; the father met an accident and is in coma. The doctor needs the immediate family member to make the medical decision, who should be the one to make the decision?

    Quote Originally Posted by Nisa View Post
    Call my siblings! cause my parents are too old to handle this.



    Mother! Then follow by eldest child all the way to the youngest child (if they are of decision making age like in their late 10s at least)

    On another note, who is your ICE contact? Mine are my mei and jie.

    The youngest child lives with the dad and he/she knows the father best. It is also the youngest child who has the capacity to take care of the father financially and physically.

    In this case whose decision should carry more weight? Still the mother?

  7. #27

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Giving it some thoughts, I think SS's question is incomplete.

    OK, now I have defined what my immediate family is, so what next?

    It is very important to know under what context as I had said in an earlier post.

    Awaits SS's clarification. The on with the debate, discussion ...
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  8. #28
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    The youngest child lives with the dad and he/she knows the father best. It is also the youngest child who has the capacity to take care of the father financially and physically.

    In this case whose decision should carry more weight? Still the mother?
    Yes. still the mother.

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    May I know who do you consider as your immediate family?
    I do not know whether has time or external influences have changed our social values on this matter.
    I hope this poll will help provide me with an answer.
    Can I ask why has the categorisation of who is our "immediate family" got anything to do with "social values"?

    As they our parents, taking care of them are always what we do out of love from the first day we are ccapable of taking care of them until they return home to the Lord.

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadpoet View Post

    OK, now I have defined what my immediate family is, so what next?

    ...
    this is very interesting. so, what's next?

    To SS:

    Not pinpointing anyone, definition of who's who and the actual taking care and loving the parents are different thing. A person can define her parents as immediate family but she doesn't take care of them and show no love for them but treat them as "immediate ATM".

    Take caring of parents are children responsibility even after all of them are married, left the home and have their own families.

    I think it is very sad that we categorise our parents if they are or not immediate family. Does the term really matter? Do we really need to be so picky and categorise the relationship?

    We all love our parents

  11. #31
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by kelccm View Post
    Who is fourth??
    Family pet
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  12. #32

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadpoet View Post
    Giving it some thoughts, I think SS's question is incomplete.

    OK, now I have defined what my immediate family is, so what next?

    It is very important to know under what context as I had said in an earlier post.

    Awaits SS's clarification. The on with the debate, discussion ...
    DP and Everyone,

    I agree that we first have to set a stage to have a meaningful discussion on this topic.
    Letís look at it from the cultural and social view points.
    And I put it as follow: We are directly responsible for the well beings and interests of our immediately family member.

    I am surprise that you took a step further to prioritize them. Is it never an easy task.
    From you previous writings, I find you a man living with a well defined set of rules, there is very minimal grey area. For example; If a love one is dying, you will not hesitate to tell him/her the truth regardless of any situations you may have at that time.

    I really hope that family life can be easier when we set priority to them.
    I personally feel that the person you love most or most importance to you may not always be the first priority when given different circumstances.

    The reason for this poll is to find out who are the people we feel we are responsible for. These responsibilities will eventually shape our social values and contemporary cultural. I hope this can answer Paulís question.

    Let me ask this question to you and the rest:

    There is a famine and you have a bow of salad. This bow of salad can only feed two persons. You have Parents, a wife, a boy and a girl. Who will you feed to keep them alive?

  13. #33
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    Let me ask this question to you and the rest:

    There is a famine and you have a bow of salad. This bow of salad can only feed two persons. You have Parents, a wife, a boy and a girl. Who will you feed to keep them alive?
    Oh, we have a classic dilemma. When parents and wife drop into the sea, who do I save?

    In this situation, my wife and I are the healthhies persons, so, we still can survive. So, we give food to our parents as they have the weakest bodies. Then, the boy and Hammy and I will go and look for more food while my wife take care of parents and little girl.

  14. #34

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul_Yeo View Post
    Oh, we have a classic dilemma. When parents and wife drop into the sea, who do I save?

    In this situation, my wife and I are the healthhies persons, so, we still can survive. So, we give food to our parents as they have the weakest bodies. Then, the boy and Hammy and I will go and look for more food while my wife take care of parents and little girl.
    OK

    We will wait for DP's. He should have a different view.

  15. #35
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    OK

    We will wait for DP's. He should have a different view.
    If a more extreme example, if father, mother, wife, son and daughter need heart transparent. Who will I give my heart to ?

  16. #36

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    ...
    Let me ask this question to you and the rest:

    There is a famine and you have a bow of salad. This bow of salad can only feed two persons. You have Parents, a wife, a boy and a girl. Who will you feed to keep them alive?
    Simple but not an easy decision ...

    the children get the food ...
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  17. #37
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadpoet View Post
    Simple but not an easy decision ...

    the children get the food ...
    ....just OT a bit, for me, i believe in hardship training for the kids. if they survive the famine, they will remmeber deeply how precious and not easy to get are the food.

  18. #38

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Paul_Yeo View Post
    ....just OT a bit, for me, i believe in hardship training for the kids. if they survive the famine, they will remmeber deeply how precious and not easy to get are the food.
    you are not playing it by the rules ...

    according to SS, only food available for 2 ... no more no less ... for 2, whom to give to

    if they do not survive the famine, does anything matters, without food they will not survive

    ... This is of course not a realistic senario, but it is the senario given, within which we think, decide and act ...
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  19. #39

    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadpoet View Post
    you are not playing it by the rules ...

    according to SS, only food available for 2 ... no more no less ... for 2, whom to give to

    if they do not survive the famine, does anything matters, without food they will not survive

    ... This is of course not a realistic senario, but it is the senario given, within which we think, decide and act ...
    Yes, that's the senario. Only two will survive, and you have deceide who are the two.

    For you, you have chosen the Children.
    In Asian values, if you have given the food to your wife or parents, they will in turn give it to the children. Agree people?
    Last edited by Silence Sky; 26th April 2007 at 05:11 PM.

  20. #40
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    Default Re: Who do you consider as your immediate family

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    Yes, that's the senario. Only two will survive, and you have deceide who are the two.

    For you, you have chosen the Children.
    In Asian values, if you have give the food to your wife or parents, they will in turn give it to the children. Agree people?
    then the children will give back to the parents and during this give and refuse and give and refuse situation, the salad will accidentally spill on the floor

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