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Thread: Photographer joke

  1. #1
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    Default Photographer joke

    Like to start the ball rolling with this one...

    The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
    decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the
    proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said,
    "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."



    Half an hour later, just by chance, a
    door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to
    make a sale. "Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to..."



    "Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
    embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."



    "Have you really?" said the photographer.
    "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"



    "Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
    Please come in and have a seat".



    After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
    do we start?"



    "Leave everything to me. I usually try two in
    the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And
    sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out
    there."



    "Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it
    didn't work out for Harry and me!"



    "Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good
    one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot
    from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."



    "My, that's a lot!", gasped Mrs. Smith.



    "Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
    time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be
    disappointed with that."



    "Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.



    The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
    out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a
    bus," he said.



    "Oh, my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at
    her throat.



    "And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
    when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."



    "She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.



    "Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her
    to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four
    and five deep to get a good look"



    "Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
    wide with amazement.



    "Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
    than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling
    - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush
    my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I
    just had to pack it all in."



    Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
    actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"



    "It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready,
    I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."



    "Tripod?"



    "Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest
    my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."



    Mrs. Smith fainted.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Photographer joke

    nice one.

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    heard this before but its still fun to read again.


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    he didn't tell her he could get 10 shots per second

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    i tried to control not to laugh while eatin my curry puff...end up bite my tongue....
    .....
    Don't cry because its over,:)Smile because it happened.
    items for sale

  6. #6

    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by htthach View Post
    he didn't tell her he could get 10 shots per second
    1DMIII!!! Now, where are those 30fps people???
    I am NOT a PROfessional photographer and photography is NOT my hobby

  7. #7
    Senior Member harrynkl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    contiunous shots in raw
    Canon 1D MK3,28-200 F3.5-5.6, 100 F2
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  8. #8

    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by harrynkl View Post
    contiunous shots in raw
    buffer memory enough or not?
    I am NOT a PROfessional photographer and photography is NOT my hobby

  9. #9
    Senior Member harrynkl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Youhong View Post
    buffer memory enough or not?
    anyway if raw shots no need buffer, a few good shots enough to give best of baby
    Canon 1D MK3,28-200 F3.5-5.6, 100 F2
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  10. #10
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by harrynkl View Post
    contiunous shots in raw

    Oooo...RAW,

    yeah.... for maximum efficiency.

  11. #11

    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Wonder if he intends to uses a hood indoors. Hee hee. Good one!

  12. #12
    Moderator LOTUSfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    he forgot that he needs a good blower before usage.

  13. #13

    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by LOTUSfairy View Post
    he forgot that he needs a good blower before usage.
    You wouldn't want to see any other foreign objects in your final product ya?
    I am NOT a PROfessional photographer and photography is NOT my hobby

  14. #14
    Moderator LOTUSfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Youhong View Post
    You wouldn't want to see any other foreign objects in your final product ya?

    anyway, my pics are all blur blur one...too shaken..

  15. #15

    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by LOTUSfairy View Post
    anyway, my pics are all blur blur one...too shaken..
    Mount on tripod.... Trigger off by remote control or cord... No need to be on site to FIRE off... Oh, there's still the timer mode...
    Last edited by Youhong; 18th April 2007 at 10:45 PM.
    I am NOT a PROfessional photographer and photography is NOT my hobby

  16. #16
    Senior Member harrynkl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by LOTUSfairy View Post
    anyway, my pics are all blur blur one...too shaken..

    need to improve on ur handshake techinc
    Canon 1D MK3,28-200 F3.5-5.6, 100 F2
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  17. #17
    Senior Member harrynkl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by Youhong View Post
    You wouldn't want to see any other foreign objects in your final product ya?
    u mean blow the head off
    Canon 1D MK3,28-200 F3.5-5.6, 100 F2
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  18. #18
    Senior Member harrynkl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by nikonrus View Post
    Wonder if he intends to uses a hood indoors. Hee hee. Good one!
    or a lens baby
    Canon 1D MK3,28-200 F3.5-5.6, 100 F2
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  19. #19

    Default Re: Photographer joke

    Quote Originally Posted by harrynkl View Post
    need to improve on ur handshake techinc
    Need VR / IS / AS / Supersteady shot technology to aid???
    I am NOT a PROfessional photographer and photography is NOT my hobby

  20. #20
    Moderator LOTUSfairy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Photographer joke

    yah lor, must improve on the techniques...whether where I did wrong, or was it a bad holding habit...

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