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Thread: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

  1. #21

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    not that i wanna slash sg's hospital...

    after going to both restructured and private hospital to stay... i think restructured doesn't have anything about privacy at all...

    i was on the receiving end once, and i was really sick of this type of arrangement...

    every morning, you are lying in bed, trying to sleep, then the docs do their rounds, then u see about 10+ people crowd round your bed... looking at you like specimens, then the senior doc will go, tis guy, xxx, come in with blah blah blah, then xxx and had tis, that, and today going to do tis that... and unless u are in A class single bedder, else u can kiss your privacy goodbye...

    imagine every morning, the doc say, tis patient, cancer 3rd stage, left 2 months, minus 1 1week since we diagnose it last week... how would u feel? then next minute your neighbour say, eh u got cancer ar, so suay, i going home today liao... bye bye...
    your last sentence is power. Dunno to laugh or not.

  2. #22

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    I don't know about others, but i will be very VERY VERY happy if someone tells me that i am dying soon.

    I think I will spend the happiest time during this period of time. And of course I will make sure my family don't know about it.

  3. #23
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by phraeb View Post
    your last sentence is power. Dunno to laugh or not.
    well, i could say is, u won't be laughing if u are on the receiving end...
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  4. #24

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    i think it really depends on alot of factors first. like how long is he going to last? if the sickness slow and painful or fast and painless etc. have to do a cost-benifit analysis first, and that varies vastly with different endings.

  5. #25
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nisa View Post
    I don't know about others, but i will be very VERY VERY happy if someone tells me that i am dying soon.

    I think I will spend the happiest time during this period of time. And of course I will make sure my family don't know about it.
    then DP will say u are very irresponsible for not telling your family...
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  6. #26
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by satay16 View Post
    i think it really depends on alot of factors first. like how long is he going to last? if the sickness slow and painful or fast and painless etc. have to do a cost-benifit analysis first, and that varies vastly with different endings.
    u think play game ar, can draft alternate endings... still got cost benefits... like doing econs paper? need to do demand & supply curve?
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  7. #27

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    u think play game ar, can draft alternate endings... still got cost benefits... like doing econs paper? need to do demand & supply curve?
    yes. for such an occasion, you dun want to do anything harshly by acting out of feelings. it is a regret that cannot be fixed. so logic is still the best way to go.

  8. #28

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    then DP will say u are very irresponsible for not telling your family...
    haha it's better than just kill myself and letting them find out about it right?

  9. #29
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Nisa View Post
    haha it's better than just kill myself and letting them find out about it right?
    well... sometimes i am wondering, a slow death is better or a short clean one...
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  10. #30
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    not that i wanna slash sg's hospital...

    after going to both restructured and private hospital to stay... i think restructured doesn't have anything about privacy at all...

    i was on the receiving end once, and i was really sick of this type of arrangement...

    every morning, you are lying in bed, trying to sleep, then the docs do their rounds, then u see about 10+ people crowd round your bed... looking at you like specimens, then the senior doc will go, tis guy, xxx, come in with blah blah blah, then xxx and had tis, that, and today going to do tis that... and unless u are in A class single bedder, else u can kiss your privacy goodbye...

    imagine every morning, the doc say, tis patient, cancer 3rd stage, left 2 months, minus 1 1week since we diagnose it last week... how would u feel? then next minute your neighbour say, eh u got cancer ar, so suay, i going home today liao... bye bye...
    You digress. The point is that the proper ethical conduct for heathcare professionals is to tell the patient first and only tell relatives later if the patient consents. Could the teaching round be done better? Possibly, but maybe in that kind of system if you were the last patient in the ward you may only be seen at 6pm!

  11. #31

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    well... sometimes i am wondering, a slow death is better or a short clean one...
    slow. cos at least can end it quick if there's the need too. you can't lengthen a fast death, but you can shorten a long one.

  12. #32
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by dkw View Post
    You digress. The point is that the proper ethical conduct for heathcare professionals is to tell the patient first and only tell relatives later if the patient consents. Could the teaching round be done better? Possibly, but maybe in that kind of system if you were the last patient in the ward you may only be seen at 6pm!
    let me guess... u doc?
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  13. #33

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    well... sometimes i am wondering, a slow death is better or a short clean one...
    tough choice, but the end is still the same.

    I don't mind a long one striken by physical torture.
    But i don't want a short one striken by mental torture.

  14. #34
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    let me guess... u doc?

    Appreciate if we could discuss the issue and not the personality. Thanks.

  15. #35

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    well, i could say is, u won't be laughing if u are on the receiving end...
    definitely. the fellow leaving must be real inconsiderate then.

  16. #36

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Generally speaking, it is always better to tell the person of the actual situation, and give him encouragement and never false hope.
    But in certain situations, where there is totally no hope or that the person has totally no fighting spirit or very weak emotionally or mentally, it may be good to keep the fact from him. Sometimes when telling him, it will make his health worse since he is unable to cope with the real fact.
    But I think most "matured" ppl should be able to accept the fact that one is chosen to go earlier and that one has really not much choice.
    always the Light, .... always.

  17. #37

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    I think most of the time, we can just casually say that we are willing to do (blah blah) for that person, tell him the truth..etc

    But when that day really comes, things might turn a 180 degress around.

    It's hard to say now, cause most of us have not experienced such a thing before. I guess when that day arrives, we'll know what to do.

  18. #38
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    This is going to be a downhearted subject. But I feel it is necessary to talk about this topic, because most of us will be thrown this situation one day. When that happens, most of us will be caught off guard and make flawed decisions that we will regret for life.

    For example, someone very dear has contacted terminal illness and the days are numbered. Would you be very frank and tell the patient about the prognosis?

    Yes.
    Because, the life belongs to the patient and he/she has every right to live the remaining days the way he/she wants.
    When you tell, you will feel better because you have discharge the burden of making decisions for the patientís life. On the other hand, you have pronounced death sentence to the patient who has been fighting so hard and bravely to stay alive. The dear one has to bear the burden now when you decided to put it down.

    No.
    You have decided to bear the burden and pain, you will make his/her remaining days the most memorable and enjoyable. Hope is the only motivation for the terminally ill, and you have kept that hope alive.
    But, you risk him/her leaving you without last words.
    You do not know exactly what he/she wants for the remaining days.

    Which is the best approach you would chose?
    depending on the situation, if the patient really cannot take the truth, it's good to refer the person to counsellors. if you yourself cannot bear the truth, it's good for you to refer to counsellors also. family, friends, religion, financial situation etc. all these have a part to play as well, life isn't about yes or no, when decisions are going to be difficult, seek help from the right sources --> http://www.ncss.org.sg/ncss/social_s...helplines.html

  19. #39

    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    well... sometimes i am wondering, a slow death is better or a short clean one...
    So as not to put the burden to others (like our family) in deciding for our lives should we come to a terminall illness our Ministry of Health has this ADVANCE MEDICAL DIRECTIVE.

    Check it out: http://www.moh.gov.sg/corp/systems/acts/amd.do
    See.Shoot.Share

  20. #40
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    Default Re: How to tell someone that he/she is dying soon.

    i suggest u find a counsellor from social welfare.

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