Until now, I'm strongly resistant to finding a gf for the sake of going into another relationship and getting married for the sake of doing so.
Well, that's me. And everyone says I'm going to be a monk or priest if I continue this mentality, but I can't be bothered. If there's a principle I'm not bending, its on relationships.
Ultimately, it all depends on one's mentality. I can't force u to think my way if you think my way's not your way.
Still, hope u'll get ur problem resolved. All the best.
Sex is a important element of relationship and marriage ( both being who is more religious ).
it is sanctify by God to unify the marriage in both body, mind and soul.
most woman make use of Sex as a controlling factor on Man for the relationhip or Husband in a marriage, and for most reason, man / husband cannot take it, become distress, even violent....
Hope this is not the problem u are facing?
she created an ugly scene a few wks back and that forced me to move out of my own house
my dad was the only person she can talk to in my family but that ended a couple of wks back cos he's disappointed in her
bytheway, she was with SQ when i got to know her
U may want to close this thread before it goes OT and nasty.
CS says, "We can't help you ignore yourself."
dont mean to rain on ur parade, but u mentioned u wanted to find a nice catholic girl? I hope for your sake you didnt marry in catholic church cos once married... u cant remarry.
People are judging you now very critically cos it's one-sided. I can imagine she has her faults too. And so do you. But the 2 of you went on a wild ride and tried to marry each other which is of cos a disasterous formula.
Anyway, no point crying over spilt milk. Tyr to resolve the flat issue. Hope you will move on well from here.
Remember it takes 2 to clap , be it a problem or solution. Mud slinging does not help.
I wish you all the best, and hope you solve your problem.
Do close this thread as I can see the current comments does not help in your solution- it gets more OT and we can only see 1 side of the coin which does not help you.
Lastly , cheers up, and be strong in your faith.
I do not think this is the right place to seek sound and correct advice. You need close friends who know you, or marriage counsellors to sit down and go through really honestly what went wrong and whether this marriage could be salvaged.
People here do not know your unique circumstances and do not have the professional skills to go through, analyse objectively on your marriage.
It takes a lot for two persons to come together. If you recognise that the child is innocent of what happened between the both of you (I do not use 'innocent' for the other meaning because of my belief that are are born in sin) you should then cool down first, and when the both of your wife and you are cool-headed, sit down and consider what could be the best for this family and your child.
From what I see, you are still very angry at something that recently happened. Probably she is also angry.
Cool down and when you are no longer angry, you might look ahead and come to a more objective sense on how you can proceed on this matter.
Your best friend, or for that matter, your priest, marriage counsellor should be able to give you better advice than here, a photography forum.
If this were to happen to me, I would certainly talk to my best friend, then to my pastor and certainly to my God (through reading the Bible) and not public forums.
my advice to you is to sit down and have a good talk with yr wife. Dun care abt how head-strong she is. If you want the marriage to work, you, yes, I mean you, have to take steps to improve the situation and not wait for one another or have negative thoughts abt her all the time.
Strip away yr pride and humble yourself to save this marriage for the sake of your child.
He is completely innocent and should never ever bear the brunt of mistakes made by 2 adults.
1stly, ask yourself do you really want to save the marriage and do you really love her as a person and do you want to spend yr entirely life with her thru thick and thin? If the answers are YES, you better start doing something.
One party must stop the blaming and hating in order to improve the situation.
If she still insists on a separation, then you can tell yourself that you have tried yr best.
We do not know the details here but you really need to playback to the trigger-points to identify when, how & why it went wrong and take steps to rectify them.
here have a look at this url: www.divorcebusting.com
Read the case stories in the forums and pick up a few tips. Divorce is never an option unless physical abusive,violence, sexual abuse comes into the picture.
At the end of the day, marriage is all about compromise....when 2 pple live together dun expect to live life as a single person. You need to have the welfare of your soul-mate in mind and that's why compromise, tolerance and patience are key ingredients to a successful marriage. Sometimes to the extent of closing one's eyes to a person's peculiar faults.
Unfortunately, some young adults these days take marriage and divorce too lightly.......
Pls arrange for counselling....
...and pls do not ever think that marrying a Catholic girl will solve your problems.
Conflicts are due to differences in personalities. I just cannot emphasise the importance of humily and compromise in a relationship.
Humilty in this instance is to identify and acknowledge your faults and weaknesses and forgiving the faults of the other person.
Work on them and if your partner sees the change in you, she may re-consider. It takes a lot of effort to do this but you must not give up.
Again, I do not know the trigger-points here so I'm just assuming......
Divorce is an easy way out.....working to improve a relationship and mend a broken marriage is tough work but you must persevere....
why am I so 'anti-divorce'? Well, I have been thru pure hell and back......It only takes 1 person to initiate the 1st step....Divorce happens when both parties refuse to.
Last edited by major_tom; 16th February 2007 at 06:32 PM.
"ashes to ashes; funk to funky..we know major_tom's a junkie
strung out on heaven's high....."