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Thread: Am I overreacting?

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    It's getting tricky here. You're mixing relationships with business. You have to draw the line. Clarify whether you're helping him solely as a girlfriend, if so, zero issues about payment & credit. If solely on business ground - he just got to pay.

    I think it will be clear once you make a stand where you're coming from.

    To clarify, who's business? your bf's start-up? your bf's partnership with friends? or he is working for a company?

    On another note about credit card, this is no joke. Cut the line before it's too late. I recently came in contact with one case. A guy sign off so much that his father gave him $50k to settle the debt and still can't solve it. Do take care of yourselves.

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by eow View Post
    hate to say this deadpoet is rite...dump that bf of yr
    If your bf don't know or understand about your financial situation & take for granted of the sacrifices you put in. It speaks much about his feelings for you. Agree with deadpoet than.

  3. #23
    Member Adiemus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deadpoet View Post
    You are Not Over Reacting!



    The simple fact is, based on what you told us, you boy friend is a moron!

    The solution is, to ask him to take down all the pictures youhave shot and web pages you have designed.

    Actually, that is a bad idea. You need to change BF model. Dump him.

    Why. This is a good indication how he will treat you going forward, even after you get married. You are second fiddle. You wat that kind of relationship?
    I second DP's stand. Dump your BF before you get any deeper. You're not married yet, still got chance. He doesn't deserve you.

    Business is business, you can't keep on doing this at your own expense.

  4. #24

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by whereami View Post
    It's getting tricky here. You're mixing relationships with business. You have to draw the line. Clarify whether you're helping him solely as a girlfriend, if so, zero issues about payment & credit. If solely on business ground - he just got to pay.

    I think it will be clear once you make a stand where you're coming from.

    To clarify, who's business? your bf's start-up? your bf's partnership with friends? or he is working for a company?

    On another note about credit card, this is no joke. Cut the line before it's too late. I recently came in contact with one case. A guy sign off so much that his father gave him $50k to settle the debt and still can't solve it. Do take care of yourselves.
    On whatever ground, he has to pay.

    The BF is just an a88 taking advantage of the situation. .
    deadpoet
    my portfolio

  5. #25

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    In business, one of the first principles you need to learn is to be FIRM. Get soft on emotions/relationships, and then you will soon realise your biz is going no where, and getting being exploited by the people closest to you.

  6. #26

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Guys, before we overreact, keep in mind that sometimes, the truth is not always as one party sees it; it is somewhere in between. So comments like "dump the boyfriend!" may not be both fair and called for in this case. This is the TS's personal life, and is not the topic she has brought up for comments.

    Having said that, I do not condone the actions of anyone who make use of somebody else's creativity, especially for profit, but at the same time refusing to acknowledge the person from whose works he stand to gain. The TS is certainly not overreacting as many who have replied have already mentioned. You deserve credit for your work.

  7. #27

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by hopefulphoto View Post
    I’m a young photographer who has just begun her photography website about a year and a half ago. I’m having a hard time finding business where I’m actually getting paid so I’ve been doing mostly “volunteer” photography through my boyfriend’s business. I’ve done photography for him for events around the city and pictures of employees at his station for the business website and such. I’ve placed my copyright on the photos that I recently did for him at this event and they’re now up on the website and today I went in and did some shots of this new employee there. I took time out of my own schedule and used my own gas to get to there to take the pictures. I then went back home and edited the pictures, sent him the best ones for the website and then he calls me as I’m going out again and says, “Can you resize the photo to this size?” and starts telling me these dimensions. I told him I’d appreciate if he’d give me some credit on the website and then I can change the dimensions for him. He then told me that he didn’t want to put my business name on the website too much as then people would begin asking questions. How can I get around this without sounding like an inconsiderate person? Or am I just totally overreacting? I have a living to make and when I'm taking time out of my own schedule and using my own gas to get to places and they won't even give me credit or pay me, there is something missing there...is there not?
    Although most of you forumers would think that the bf is wrong, I'd like to provide another perspective.

    'hopefulphoto' already indicated that she is volunteering her services for her bf's business, and therefore it is right for the bf to request for changes and specifications without expecting to get paid.

    The whole problem is simple COMMUNICATION.

    hopefulphoto, what you should do is to have a talk with your bf, telling him your objective of helping him for free, which is to expand your portfolio and advertise your business. And be clear to him that you need him to help you advertise your services, and one way is to put credits on the photos. It's either by watermarking or placing a written credit next to each photo, e.g. 'Photography by hopefulphoto' (remember to code your URL link). This second method is used professionally in many organisations.

    If he doesn't want to help you, then you can call him whatever you forumers suggest. Explain to him that you are helping him by doing these for free, so it's also morally right for him to help you back by advertising your business. If not, tell him you will never be able to help him again because you would have to sell your gear, need to pay for bills, etc.

    Good luck and take care.

  8. #28
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Its time you lay down your cards and let your bf know the difference between business and friendship. From what you say, I see that your bf is making use of your talent and services without caring about your finance and business. You need to pay bills, eat and survive, your bf company is making money from what you have done and giving a "well done" "save money for the company" pat,pat on your bf back and laughing all the way to the bank and you here, suffering.

    Next time your bf wants your free services for his company, give a Quotation in writing for the service, spelling out your expenses and fee. If your bf company is grateful for all the free things you have given, they will not mind paying now but if they reject and wants free,free and free then, I think you have to close your "door" and concentrate elsewhere for your bread and butter.

    Your bf got no feelings and only think of himself

  9. #29

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Are you sure he's your boyfriend? He's more like a common friend that is just using you. Just my 2 cents.

  10. #30

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    You are a good and nice decent young adult...

    he is obviously taking advantage of you and taking you for a ride...

    Be brave and put a nice smile on your face and move on, you deserve better boyfriend


  11. #31

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    I fully agree with pianodancer that the TS did said that it was a volunteer work, although it is quite clear that her definition of volunteer work is quite different from the general definition that we have.....meaning ...No Payment Expected..

    What I propose is this, remove the concept of doing any project for "FREE", do it for a payment , of any kind, and in her case I would probably say along this line

    " I will do it for some form of payment, if money is out of the question, I would like to have me credited for the effort by printing my name in the brochure or print out."

    And once this is agreed upon, you should treat the Credit as a form of payment and do all kinds of alteration necessary to satisfy her "customer"

    We should stop saying it's for free and then expect some kind of payment, it's just too confusing. The TS said she is doing this for a living, then she need to think like a business woman and be clear with all the Terms and Conditions

  12. #32
    Senior Member creampuff's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    The situation you're in is not good. You are in debt.
    Having your work credited is unfortunately not going to pay the bills. The hard reality is whatever work you do falls into one of 2 categories: jobs that you get paid for and jobs you agree to do for free. Don't confuse the 2 issues of earning a living and acknowledgement of your work.

  13. #33

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Hopefulphoto, you better act fast and limit your losses.

    I am so tired with the apologists and the likes, making excuses for the bf.

    First of all, there are two seperate issue here. One relates to hopefulphoto's photography career, getting credit and paid, and two, it's the relationship between hopefulphoto and her bf.

    Very unfortunately, the two seperate issues are forever entangled. Unravelling this entanglement is not possible.

    to the bf, so what if the work done were supposed to be voluntary, it's your gf for christ sake, be nice to her, don't use her like a mop, give her creidts, pay her for the work done,
    It's your GF!

    Now bf is def nat likely to see this, well, hopefulphoto, dump him, concentrate on your career, and find a new bf!
    deadpoet
    my portfolio

  14. #34

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Quote Originally Posted by hopefulphoto View Post
    Iím a young photographer who has just begun her photography website about a year and a half ago. Iím having a hard time finding business where Iím actually getting paid so Iíve been doing mostly ďvolunteerĒ photography through my boyfriendís business. Iíve done photography for him for events around the city and pictures of employees at his station for the business website and such. Iíve placed my copyright on the photos that I recently did for him at this event and theyíre now up on the website and today I went in and did some shots of this new employee there. I took time out of my own schedule and used my own gas to get to there to take the pictures. I then went back home and edited the pictures, sent him the best ones for the website and then he calls me as Iím going out again and says, ďCan you resize the photo to this size?Ē and starts telling me these dimensions. I told him Iíd appreciate if heíd give me some credit on the website and then I can change the dimensions for him. He then told me that he didnít want to put my business name on the website too much as then people would begin asking questions. How can I get around this without sounding like an inconsiderate person? Or am I just totally overreacting? I have a living to make and when I'm taking time out of my own schedule and using my own gas to get to places and they won't even give me credit or pay me, there is something missing there...is there not?
    The business is owed by your bf ? what kind of bf that take advantage of his gf !
    My wife is a designer and some time i shoot for her work, and i got paid.
    one or two times for free is ok. but these is too much already.
    Discuss this matter with your bf and work something out.
    If he really cherrish you, i'm sure you all can worked out something.

  15. #35
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    Too many words. .

    Summary: If it is not for fun, make sure you get paid. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ $$$$$$$$$$

  16. #36

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    How about having FUN and getting PAID?

  17. #37
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    New BF for CNY!!!!

  18. #38
    Senior Member Big Kahuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    宁叫人打仔,莫叫人分妻。You guys bad ah

  19. #39

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    There's no mention of how yr 'bf' is outside the work relationship, but where business/money is concerened, he's one of those who'd happily screw you over the cost of a cup of coffee. And since this photography rather than a relationship forum, my advice would be for you to never work with/for him ever again.

    Since you still have the original shots, you still retain the copyright to those shots despite having passed him a copy (you didn't sign any contract for the shoot did you?). Make use of them to start your own porfolio, publish them on your own website.

  20. #40

    Default Re: Am I overreacting?

    well just make this clear..its either acknowledge or invoice him nxt time...

    i feel business should be kept strictly business....

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