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Thread: Economics 101

  1. #1

    Default Economics 101

    Nothing new but just to share as it's quite amusing even after a few reads:

    TRADITIONAL ECONOMICS,
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and buy a bull.
    Your herd multiplies and the economy grows.
    You retire on the income.

    INDIAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You worship them.

    PAKISTAN ECONOMICS
    You don't have any cows.
    You claim that the Indian cows belong to you.
    You ask the US for financial aid, China for military aid, Britain for
    warplanes, Italy for machines, Germany for technology, France for
    submarines, Switzerland for loans, Russia for drugs and Japan for
    equipment. You buy the cows with all this and
    claim of exploitation by the world.

    AMERICAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You sell one and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.
    You profess surprise when the cow drops dead. You put the blame on some
    nation with cows & naturally that nation will be a danger to mankind. You
    wage a war to save the world and grab the cows.

    FRENCH ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You go on strike because you want three cows.

    GERMAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows. You reengineer them so that they live for 100 years, eat
    once a month and milk themselves.

    BRITISH ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    They are both mad.

    ITALIAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    SWISS ECONOMICS
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you.
    You charge others for storing them.

    JAPANESE ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You redesign them so that they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow
    and produce twenty times the milk.
    You then create cute cartoon cow images called Cowkimon and market them
    worldwide.

    RUSSIAN ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You count them and learn you have five cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.
    You count them again and learn you have 17 cows.
    You give up counting and open another bottle of vodka.

    CHINESE ECONOMICS
    You have two cows.
    You have 300 people milking them.
    You claim full employment, high bovine productivity and arrest anyone
    reporting the actual numbers.

    SRI LANKAN ECONOMICS
    You have a cow and a bull, you let the cow be president and the bull be
    prime minister and let them blame each other for the state the country is in.
    "ashes to ashes; funk to funky..we know major_tom's a junkie
    strung out on heaven's high....."

  2. #2

    Default Re: Economics 101

    not complete.

    there is a Singaporean version.
    In Singapore, we "cow beh, cow bu"

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    SG version censored, cannot post here.

  4. #4

    Default Re: Economics 101

    CS ECONOMICS

    You have 1 cow.
    You like to compete with others' cows.
    The largest cow with lots of bells win,
    without caring the quality of milk it produces.
    And those who heavily stress on quality of milk produced,
    is likely to have small cows.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    Quote Originally Posted by satay16 View Post
    CS ECONOMICS

    You have 1 cow.
    You like to compete with others' cows.
    The largest cow with lots of bells win,
    without caring the quality of milk it produces.
    And those who heavily stress on quality of milk produced,
    is likely to have small cows.
    wat the cow u talking about?
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

  6. #6
    Member Static's Avatar
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    wat the cow u talking about?
    Translation

    You have 1 DLSR.
    You like to compete with others' DSLR.
    The largest DLSR with lots of expensive big lens win,
    without caring the quality of the picture it produces.
    And those who heavily stress on quality of the picture produced
    is likely to have PNS or prosumers.
    陳綺貞 2010 [夏季練習曲] 巡迴演唱會 Cheer Concert 13 Nov 2010 MAX Pavilion@Singapore Expo

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    wat the cow u talking about?
    holy cow!
    “How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.” - Adolf Hitler

  8. #8
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    "Don't have a cow, man!" -- Bart Simpson

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt View Post
    wat the cow u talking about?
    Small cow big cow
    Canon 80D|Panasonic LX3/LX5
    35f2 IS|50f1.8|85f1.8|12-24f4|18-135f4-5.6 IS|28-75f2.8

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    so much bull s.h.i.t

  11. #11

    Default Re: Economics 101

    Singapore economy:
    You have one healthy cow. You don't have skill to milk the cow, so can't even produce enough milk to fill in your own cup. Start whining and complaining that the cow is not good.

    Then some people from India come. Milk the same cow, and can produce 2 gallon of milk a day. You whin and complain again, saying the new comer not do any justice by milking on longer hours.
    Last edited by amateur_photographer; 18th January 2007 at 05:11 PM.

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    your version of sg econ is not right

    Singapore economy:
    You have 2 cows
    They are named "Cow Pay and Cow Bull"
    “How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.” - Adolf Hitler

  13. #13
    Senior Member creampuff's Avatar
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    Can read more here
    http://everything2.com/index.pl?node_id=1404069

    Singaporean Democracy: You have two cows. The government fines you for keeping two unlicensed farm animals in an apartment.

  14. #14

    Default Re: Economics 102


    Singapore economy:
    You have 2 cows
    They are named "Cow Pay and Cow Bull"
    At the Macro Level:
    Cow Pay and Cow Bull invited many foreign cows.
    Foreign cows love worshiping in casinos.
    Local cows were told to integrate their resorts
    and assist in their joyful worship
    of Mammon in our land.
    Cow Bei and Cow Bu cowed down in obedience.
    Money is good. More is better.


    -------------------------------------------
    We may sow but it is God who will give the increase.
    Last edited by tOGGY; 18th January 2007 at 08:55 PM.

  15. #15
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    Quote Originally Posted by amateur_photographer View Post
    Singapore economy:
    You have one healthy cow. You don't have skill to milk the cow, so can't even produce enough milk to fill in your own cup. Start whining and complaining that the cow is not good.

    Then some people from India come. Milk the same cow, and can produce 2 gallon of milk a day. You whin and complain again, saying the new comer not do any justice by milking on longer hours.
    that's so wrong

    Singapore Economy:

    You have 2 locally bred cows
    You milk them till they are dry and leave them to survive on their own, occasionally coming back to milk them when they have enough milk
    import 2 other foreign cows that feed less, milk them and sell that milk as local product
    Last edited by eikin; 18th January 2007 at 08:46 PM.

  16. #16

    Default Re: Economics 101

    Quote Originally Posted by satay16 View Post
    CS ECONOMICS

    You have 1 cow.
    You like to compete with others' cows.
    The largest cow with lots of bells win,
    without caring the quality of milk it produces.
    And those who heavily stress on quality of milk produced,
    is likely to have small cows.
    KM/SONY DSLR ECONOMICS

    You see 1 cow zeiss in the shop
    You buy the cow
    Cow don't eat grass, you eat grass
    Sony milk you dry

  17. #17

    Default Re: Economics 101

    Singapore Economics

    You have 4.4 million milk cows.
    You feed it with 3 ounces of hay in the morning and you can squeeze it for 3kg of milk in the evening.
    Your cows always thought that 3kg of milk is the maximum they have to give, but after the judgment day in 2006, the cows realized that they can actually contribute 7kg of milk.
    You tell your cows they are best milk cow in the world and they are very proud of the compliment. The cow are very happy.
    You are now working on new technology and method to milk each cow 10kg of milk each day while still feeding them 3 ounces of hay
    Last edited by Silence Sky; 18th January 2007 at 09:05 PM.

  18. #18
    Member Static's Avatar
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    Default Re: Economics 101

    2 Cows Not Enough !
    陳綺貞 2010 [夏季練習曲] 巡迴演唱會 Cheer Concert 13 Nov 2010 MAX Pavilion@Singapore Expo

  19. #19

    Default Re: Economics 101

    SINGAPORE ECONOMICS

    You have 2 good cows,
    but you just refuse to believe they are good.

  20. #20

    Default Re: Economics 101

    Quote Originally Posted by pai View Post
    You see 1 cow zeiss in the shop
    You buy the cow
    Cow don't eat grass, you eat grass
    Sony milk you dry
    HAha. Makes a good Haiku poem!

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