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Thread: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

  1. #61
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    if Mr Big read this, he'll just say.. okie.. no kids then we have to attract more from outside singapore and give them citizenship

    For me, I don't feel like having kids after i get married cause after studying so much for so many years and I become financially independent, I haven't even enjoyed my freedom yet and I have to be tied down by kids so soon? geez....

    There is definitely something wrong with our system here. A typical uni grad will be at the age of 25 by the time he graduates, works 2 years to pay off debts from uni already 27. Then what? rush to get married and have kids by 28?

    Sorry.. kids I will have.. just not so soon.. but confirm before age of 40
    “How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.” - Adolf Hitler

  2. #62

    Default Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Many posts of kids in their family life is not so possible during their stressful time of climbing their work force ladder .

    Many posts don't do it for the Gov. but do it for yourself .

    Some say it's not a problem at all .

    Some say we could depend of the Gov. to bring in more PRs.


    I'm just asking you guys , if there's an extra system you are entitle to then would you be more happy as maybe you can be part of it ?


    Regards

  3. #63

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Well my personal view. If you are elite, you have nothing to worry about. You dont need govt subsidy to have kids, you already have it made and can afford anything. Which is why you see elites normally marry and have children young. And then they will bring forth more elite children. so good. Our govt had such great foresight, no wonder they encourage elites to marry elites.

    While peasants like me struggling to make things meet, sigh cannot afford to be at home for children and dont even know if cant give children enough to keep up with their elite classmates and pay donations to get them enrol in elite schools to secure their future. So I guess I wont have children cos I dont want them to become a peasant like me.

  4. #64
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by raincool2005 View Post
    er... women pregnant can have sex meh ? i thought doctor said not wise becos might cause internal injuries ?

    i knew some guys cannot endure the no sex duration when their wife pregnant, they resort to commerical sex for time being. So sad...
    Alamak... so ti go meh? no sex will die meh?
    :: Capture the moment :: :heart:

  5. #65
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    i wonder if there will b a law 2 state tt all married couples must hav at least 1 kid aft 2yrs of marriage.

  6. #66
    Senior Member creampuff's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    In so many of the threads, the same recurring thing keeps coming up. Young couples today keep COUNTING THE COST. Be it the cost of freedom, time, money, convenience, career, etc. that a new baby would take away from their current or future lifestyle. To me that's a selfish and self serving attitude that runs counter to the basis of having a family where love, joy and sharing are paramount. One can't put a quantifiable value on this and I'm afraid so many are missing the point on the joys of having a family.

  7. #67
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by creampuff View Post
    In so many of the threads, the same recurring thing keeps coming up. Young couples today keep COUNTING THE COST. Be it the cost of freedom, time, money, convenience, career, etc. that a new baby would take away from their current or future lifestyle. To me that's a selfish and self serving attitude that runs counter to the basis of having a family where love, joy and sharing are paramount. One can't put a quantifiable value on this and I'm afraid so many are missing the point on the joys of having a family.
    world today is most me, me and me.

  8. #68

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by creampuff View Post
    In so many of the threads, the same recurring thing keeps coming up. Young couples today keep COUNTING THE COST. Be it the cost of freedom, time, money, convenience, career, etc. that a new baby would take away from their current or future lifestyle. To me that's a selfish and self serving attitude that runs counter to the basis of having a family where love, joy and sharing are paramount. One can't put a quantifiable value on this and I'm afraid so many are missing the point on the joys of having a family.
    ??? "selfish and self serving" cuz one doesn't want to have kids? Aren't u a little too judgemental? Anyway things that are "joys" to a person might not mean much to another.... so dun be so quick to judge.

  9. #69
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by creampuff View Post
    In so many of the threads, the same recurring thing keeps coming up. Young couples today keep COUNTING THE COST. Be it the cost of freedom, time, money, convenience, career, etc. that a new baby would take away from their current or future lifestyle. To me that's a selfish and self serving attitude that runs counter to the basis of having a family where love, joy and sharing are paramount. One can't put a quantifiable value on this and I'm afraid so many are missing the point on the joys of having a family.
    hmmm , i think young 1s are brought up to be mindful of costs. either u get this benefit n forget that benefit,

    i believe to raise a child especially in singapore context , its good to have triangle of love
    1) love from the sun (fatherly love)
    2) love from the earth ( motherly love)
    3) love from the sea ( monetary love)

  10. #70
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    their kana bbb virus... then no money to get married......lolz JK

  11. #71

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by creampuff View Post
    In so many of the threads, the same recurring thing keeps coming up. Young couples today keep COUNTING THE COST. Be it the cost of freedom, time, money, convenience, career, etc. that a new baby would take away from their current or future lifestyle. To me that's a selfish and self serving attitude that runs counter to the basis of having a family where love, joy and sharing are paramount. One can't put a quantifiable value on this and I'm afraid so many are missing the point on the joys of having a family.
    Eerrr... I beg to differ with you.

    If you want a kid because you want to have love and joy and a kid is CUTE, and you don't care whether you have enough money or time to look after a kid, isn't that selfish and self serving too?

    Taking care of a kid is a lifetime of responsibility. Some people just want to know that they have enough maturity, time, and money to bring up a kid, so that the kid can have the best of everything - isn't that NOT selfish and self serving?

  12. #72

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by creampuff View Post
    Be it the cost of freedom, time, money, convenience, career, etc. that a new baby would take away from their current or future lifestyle. To me that's a selfish and self serving attitude that runs counter to the basis of having a family where love, joy and sharing are paramount.

    That is too judgemental of you (if i may "judge" you in saying so). Having a baby , is dependent on choice of individual couples and I believe it is important that the couples must be willing to have a baby. If the couples feel that having a child may not aid them in their marriage, why should they have a child ? It is not about selfishness- it is about values and expectation of each individual.

    Having a child is not the most important ingredient in working out a marriage, but constant communication between couples is much more valuable.

    To put a blanket cover that these are selfish and self serving attitude is naive in itself.

  13. #73

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chiang View Post
    i believe to raise a child especially in singapore context , its good to have triangle of love
    1) love from the sun (fatherly love)
    2) love from the earth ( motherly love)
    3) love from the sea ( monetary love)

  14. #74
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by raincool2005 View Post
    er... women pregnant can have sex meh ? i thought doctor said not wise becos might cause internal injuries ?

    i knew some guys cannot endure the no sex duration when their wife pregnant, they resort to commerical sex for time being. So sad...
    Where did you get such information?

    From a bio-viewpoint... there's never any risk of injuries to the foetus from sex. Esp when you understand how the human body works.

    Plus, the only time the doc advises on no sex would be the last trimester. Only 3 months... cannot tahan arh?? DUH
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  15. #75
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    Unhappy Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Well, what I can say is the world is full of ironies...

    those who can have kids, dun want...

    those who can't have, pay through their noses and subject their bodies to medical interventions, hoping to have one...

    let each be their own judge of their decisions for they know their circumstances best...

    My own sister and brother-in-law, used to be such a loving couple but when their 1st child comes unprepared, parenting responsibilities on top of work commitments have caused such a strain on their relationship...so much so that they spent their Christmas Day quarrelling and we have to 'babysit' our 1-yr old nephew...

    for myself, am sad to share that I love kids but am not blessed enough yet to have any here on earth...have 1 in Heaven though - my stillborn son, Nathaniel, born and died on the same day 10th Oct 2004 in NUH. He would have turned 2 if he was still alive...Do I want babies, hell yes I do...but do I have a say? I'm afraid not...

  16. #76

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by creampuff View Post
    In so many of the threads, the same recurring thing keeps coming up. Young couples today keep COUNTING THE COST. Be it the cost of freedom, time, money, convenience, career, etc. that a new baby would take away from their current or future lifestyle. To me that's a selfish and self serving attitude that runs counter to the basis of having a family where love, joy and sharing are paramount. One can't put a quantifiable value on this and I'm afraid so many are missing the point on the joys of having a family.


    Unfortunately in life this is a fact. Ever since the good old days of ancients before there was condoms, families that are poor will have problems raising their never ending stream of kids. Families that cannot afford the extra mouth to feed will either drown their own baby or in less extreme cases give their child up for adoption or sell them off. While else the rich and elite will have no such problems. Where was the love then?

    Sometimes if you do love your child or your unborn child, you would rather not bring him or her into this world when you know jolly well you cannot afford to be a good parent. In our modern age of course I dont see anyone selling their children at least not in Singapore but how many families are struggling to make ends meet. Both parents have to work, and the time they spend with their kid is almost nil. Have to earn money to pay for tution and all sorts of courses so that their kids have a fighting chance in the brutal educational system. The love and care?? I would say it becomes a duty not love at all.
    Last edited by centuryegg; 4th January 2007 at 11:35 AM.

  17. #77

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    it is all up to every human beings..when they are less self-centered..and get mellowed, they are ready to be a parent...

    go and ask your parent will they prefer you have not been in their life? trade you for $100k, travel package, car or good career?... i have never seen a parent that doesn't shed a tear when they lost their children...

    u measure everything in $, how you measure love? or do you really care about it?

  18. #78

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by LENS View Post
    it is all up to every human beings..when they are less self-centered..and get mellowed, they are ready to be a parent...

    go and ask your parent will they prefer you have not been in their life? trade you for $100k, travel package, car or good career?... i have never seen a parent that doesn't shed a tear when they lost their children...

    u measure everything in $, how you measure love? or do you really care about it?
    Of course cry lah!! Loss of investment you know. Every kid that dies equates to loss of money that you have invested. Alamak dog or cat die people also cry, Other people kid die like the china small girl, people also cry so no big deal....

  19. #79

    Default Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    It's definitely not easy to have a kid while a couple want to enjoy their wonderful personal life , when a wonderful life is mention , money is all that it could help to make their dream come true .
    Personally I don't believe rich adult will think that because they make more money they will want more children .
    And when money is a talk about question , then the answer should be bare at any cost to the Gov. , they know well enough that they could change many simple direction to the young married couple mind set by supplying some good plans for them , but some time they just want to toy with it ? wait and see is seem to be their method of pushing this issue away ?
    Is the people here are too comfortable with the life here that they don't wish for more ? can they think that can some good planning from the Gov. can simply help them ?? Please think about this !

    Do you think a low income group of family should not have many children ?? Do you think many children of this low income group will grow up not as important to this society compare to those from middle class family .
    Just to share , my friend ask me this question " why do that school dropout boy will rather work as a cleaner " My question back to him is " why can't they . Cleaner is a job and it's a job that can earn them money , without the cleaner who will clean our dirty stuff , everyone in a society make their contribute in their own way " Are Singaporean Pride are too high now ?? Or we don't need any cleaner in Singapore , what's wrong with being a Cleaner , Why do we need a foreign cleaner while this job could be well fit to a Singapore boy ?"
    Every class of talent should come from different class of family and every class of pride should not be bigger than who you are !!

    I'm sad to hear that one of the guy here loss a child and I think your child know it well you love them good .


    As usual Just sharing ..



    Pan
    Regards

  20. #80
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Is really hard to rise a kid these days. No job secure (unlike back in the 60's to 80's) & as you grow older, you really need to upgrade your skill & qualifications as you go along in life.
    If you don't have either one of them, it's risky to have a kid man!
    If you don't have both, you better forget about having any kid at all. As we always here this sayings,"there's no free lunch in this world" & is very true!
    Everybody is to his/her own this days. Which also means no $$ no talk at all.
    In a place where you can't even plant any food for your own, what else can we do?

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