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Thread: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

  1. #41

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Big Kahuna View Post
    Erm...YMMV...the sum can be like that..

    Couple earn 7k

    cpf 1.4k
    House == HDB....so deduct from CPf
    Car == no need...take public transport....$200 ...
    Daily needs...$2.5k...consider very luxury liao....my own benchmark is around $1k
    Baby+Parents to care $2k
    So, got plenty spare for saving and can affort a maid at around $750 too...
    u think housing loan can deduct from cpf? electric, water, etc bills free?

    for public transport I 1 person every month spend $200 liao, 2 people should be $400. And with a baby/child, u'll need to take more taxi

    u said your benchmark is 1k, so 2 people 2k?



    cpf 1.4k
    House $800
    transport $500
    Daily needs 1.5k
    Baby+Parents to care $2k

    even if they ultra-save, a couple will have below 1k to save, no need to retire liao

  2. #42

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by raptor84 View Post
    I might end up with some dogs/cats but children not very likey =p Of course only time will tell..
    poor guy...youll die in a nursing home !!!

  3. #43

    Default Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Why some couples have to really think hard about having their own children , they want it but are the problem of raising their own children so difficult ??
    Can I say the Gov. is partly to be at question !! Please send views !!

    The things couples will need to consider before even having sex to have the little one -
    Example of the things being consider to be a parent themself:
    1) Money
    2) Work ladder
    3) No one to really take care of our children
    4) Do we think maid can be trusted
    5) Can nanny give the kind of love which parent give , during the time when they are to give their best in this society work force.
    6) will my so call nanny teach my children differently(We are mostly brought up by our parent so comparing the two generation is a norm.)
    7) will my child grow up to be good .
    and so on.....

    As some had mention most of the time the couple need to work hand in hand to make the kind of income which are enough to manage a family .
    Is this the kind of thing these adult will need to consider hardly before even considering the baby issue , some set barriers in their mind set ,"Better don't waste time even considering" Gov. are to acept the facts or to help their Citizen ?? Their choice seem not so attractive ,for the past 30years of my life in Singapore , I feel that they will only consider the big economic issue and just put up a show for the other issue , my question for them is that why can't they learn their lesson , consider every single issue which come in front of them , try to solve them and not keep supplying with alternate .

    Can we have better option to choose or rather let it be it ?
    One thing for sure when some feel that their environment can't allow them to have babies then the society is helping them not to consider the babies because having babies are always time and commitment issue unbearable to the bigger boys and as a career minded person what are there to be chosen , the economic force or your love which doesn't paid , and again we see here is what they can do again !!
    What they can help is our housing , our child development , it's just a figure offset , why not do it fast .

    Oh ya ! I have this question as well , " Do the people here think that kids coming from a rich family is better than those from a not so well to do family ?" Why I ask because my friend had share with me earlier that the Gov. will always perfer those with better environment to have more babies because they can bring up a better child ?? I think if they think this way they are super wrong , my friend is a retire army officer , he himself can't accept this because he feel that for most successful people here come from a struggling family back in the old day where big family is the happyness . Just sharing as usual i might miss many so it's up to you to fill..................

    Regards

  4. #44

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by SteadyHands View Post
    I beg to differ.... the best sex I've ever had was when my wife was pregnant.....
    It's all in the mind ....
    No wonder there are guys out there who pay big bucks for sex with pregnant pros....
    always the Light, .... always.

  5. #45
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by quekky View Post
    let's say a couple earns 7k a month

    cpf -1.4k
    house -1.2k
    car -2k
    daily needs -1+k
    baby + parents to take care of him/her -2k to 3k

    where got enough?
    u forget one item : CAMERA ! equipment plus model shoots.

  6. #46
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Free Agent View Post
    If there were a Mr Big something reading about our posts , do you guys think they ever give a dam ??

    Most think properly not !

    However my point is , to share your view out is just a begining stage of how you could lead a better life with direct involvement whether it go the right way or it doesn't go anyway it doesn't matter because it's you and I'm saying it's you yourself that matters .

    As earlier I have mention that it's a choice for you to have babies not a duty , everyone want to lead a different kind of life and there's really nothing wrong with it.
    I'm posting an issue for those who think that this Gov. can go further to do better for the Citizen who want children to be part of their family. The subsidy to our Housing when we have a children/kids make it clear that it's much easier to manage a family than those who doesn't want any .
    You may ask , Am I asking an issue impossible thing for them to get them to review what they have for us and well I would say if some issue you don't ask for it you will never get it , today Singapore is a very different country , it's a expensive piece of land on earth .
    Just think when more Children are added to the Singapore structure , then can we say we are proud to have many of our local 'stars' shinning aboard ??

    Just sharing .


    Regards

    who is Mr Big ?

  7. #47
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by SteadyHands View Post
    I beg to differ.... the best sex I've ever had was when my wife was pregnant.....
    er... women pregnant can have sex meh ? i thought doctor said not wise becos might cause internal injuries ?

    i knew some guys cannot endure the no sex duration when their wife pregnant, they resort to commerical sex for time being. So sad...

  8. #48
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by teeras View Post
    poor guy...youll die in a nursing home !!!
    no.. nursing home now are paid ones.

    i guess more likely in some parks or dark corners of geylangs streets.

  9. #49

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by raincool2005 View Post
    no.. nursing home now are paid ones.

    i guess more likely in some parks or dark corners of geylangs streets.
    Thanks ar Are you saying that maybe i wont have enough for retirement
    Furry Photos - Photography for the Modern Pet

  10. #50
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Free Agent View Post
    Is there Anyone think differently about why more and more Singaporean married adults don't want babies ?

    For an example 50% of my friend don't want to have babies as they feel once they have one they would not be able to enjoy life and couldn't lead the life they wanted.

    Below is what they think about having no life -

    1)No time for each other after having babies,
    2)With housing loans , car loan and so on , they say that they couldn't afford any more baby loans,
    3)Career minded , No one to take care of the babies as their own Parents are working as well,
    4)small animals are easier to manage than babies and they never give big problem
    5)Lastly of course wait till they grow older, with more money


    Personally I don't feel that it's wrong not to have babies , it is just a choice in a life process.
    The people now care more about money than sex and others , as money buy them who they are, what they want and their so call Singapore dream(5C).Babies are not C so mentally it's not even in their dream picture .

    The Gov. give baby Package but is it working ? Friends who has kids told me , its really better than nothing and when a friend tell me this , I know what he is saying is that the Baby Package can be better .

    When one wanted to start a family , this Family need two happily married person to be in love - "Do anyone think love needs alot of money ? Personally I think when you talk about love , one doesn't need money to buy it "
    Then it's their own nest which they want to build , a place they called it home where they can share their daily life with ."I believe everyone would prefer a nice and big house and for a good house , big money are what we are looking at , in this process can we smell any babies making opportunity ?? No and No ? The commitment for the couple are put in the house and surely one cannot afford not to be in the work force."
    Next will be the Car dream , in Singapore, Car is being express as a form of Freedom , Car can control our time, can control the place we would like to go and let us have many activity with other car user ." And of course , Everyone dream car is a Big money spend as well "
    Before even making the little one , most educated one will start taking out their calculator and start talking to their finance adviser and in the end after calculating their future child expense , do they still think Children is affordable ??

    Please share your views if you have any ......

    As for me I perfer a bigger HDB house than a small one because I dun like meeting the concrete wall too fast , it make me feel uneasy when the space is so small . Do anyone think that when you have kids you need more space for them to run around ?

    Do you think the money we make are spend more on housing ?
    Do you think if Gov. come up with more discount on housing for those who have children or those planning to have babies is good , does it mean that more couple will think about having one?
    For an example if one couple is having one babies for the Country , the Gov. give a discount of maybe $20 000.00 to their new house and this money can help them to start a Family with kids at a lower spending cost to their housing and keep more cash in the CPF and when the flat is affordable , do you think at least one parent can relax and take care of the young one ? Do you think it's less stressful to manage a family with this Gov. discount ? But of course the sum of money discounted cannot be consider ours and when we sell the Gov. flat it will either be a return credit back to the Gov. or it can be use for our new bigger flat . Does it sound good ? Or does it sound it is just something we feel that the Gov. can do for us ? Parent who want children are awarded with huge step of discount by the Gov. and as far as I know it will certainly make an impact , giving a good population system as natural as possible , the money is still not ours but it do help us in the begining.

    Gov. started with the Baby Package and I think it's really good . However the thing which this Gov. miss is a Good start for all the Parents , Baby Package help Parent with the Birth bills and the later education but they had miss the Starting Passion , having Babies are believe to be not just when you want you can have them , it is family building process as I have mention earlier , most people would prefer less costly to run a family with children , the cost is the housing , education and expenses so if this Gov can do something for the education I believe they can do something special for those who think that having children is always easy because the Gov. is giving them real discount for their contribution for this small Country

    I have wrote many , I may miss many important points but the rest is up to others who want to share their views. And ps ps only share what you think about the question I'm sharing orelse it will be waste of your time just reading and posting donkey post .


    Cheers!!!
    Just my point lor.....young married adults are into 'unconventional sex'

  11. #51

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by raincool2005 View Post
    er... women pregnant can have sex meh ? i thought doctor said not wise becos might cause internal injuries ?

    i knew some guys cannot endure the no sex duration when their wife pregnant, they resort to commerical sex for time being. So sad...
    can lah, just be careful during the first 3 months, if everything is normal, sex during pregnancy is safe (it does limit the position though)

  12. #52
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Free Agent View Post
    Oh ya ! I have this question as well , " Do the people here think that kids coming from a rich family is better than those from a not so well to do family ?" Why I ask because my friend had share with me earlier that the Gov. will always perfer those with better environment to have more babies because they can bring up a better child ?? I think if they think this way they are super wrong , my friend is a retire army officer , he himself can't accept this because he feel that for most successful people here come from a struggling family back in the old day where big family is the happyness . Just sharing as usual i might miss many so it's up to you to fill..................
    Regards
    IMHO, don't let the Govt 'help or no help' influence your decision of having babies. The couple and even the whole clan have to make sacrifices when a newborn have arrived. THis include time, money and passing on your 'home education'.

    There was a time when Govt say stop at 2. Those who chose to have more don't care what the Govt says even though they are not rich and the mindset is "children is a blessing to carry on my family name"

    Rgd the yr questions regarding 'better kids' from rich family. I don't agree. BUT someone that can make BIG decisions for Singapore decide that Uni Grads should go with Uni Grads to give birth to 'brighter' kids. and thus SDU is formed.

  13. #53
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by teeras View Post
    poor guy...youll die in a nursing home !!!
    having kids dont guarantee u will not die in a nursing home. (if that was the point u were trying to get thru')
    :: Capture the moment :: :heart:

  14. #54

    Default Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Long Long time ago our father come here and share their hardship together .

    Their will are as strong as the unbreakable branch of chopstick . Staying together fighting shoulder to shoulder to things and issue, they feel deem right for them .

    Many many years later we are still chopstick but a branch of scatter chopstick .

    Just sharing !!

    Just dun know why Singaporean are kayn si , kayn su . and Why can we stay close enough to Project what we want in life .

    What are the facts that make us different from our fathers ?????




    Regards

  15. #55
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    guess they want pleasure, not horror.

    life's short, why torture ?

  16. #56

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Snowcrash View Post
    BUT someone that can make BIG decisions for Singapore decide that Uni Grads should go with Uni Grads to give birth to 'brighter' kids. and thus SDU is formed.

    Yep, Some elite said that.

    Which is why you see our younger elites saying to non-elites
    "Get out of my uncaring elite face!"

    Definitely "brighter" Kids.


  17. #57

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Being a mother of 2, I have to say that if you want to have kids, do it because you want to, NOT because the govt says so, your parents say so, your parents in law say so etc etc..

    Being a parent is a HUGE responsibility and at the end of the day, quite a big financial drain. Of course a kid brings quite a lot of joy, but when the kid is cranky/ill/temperamental/rebellious a kid can be a real terror as well.

    It is expensive to raise a kid in s'pore. I have to work because we cannot survive on a single income. Everything's just way expensive. Diapers about $20 per month; Milk powder about $20 per month; Maid about $500; childcare $650, housing loan, car loan etc etc.. all these add up. Of course one can say I should save on childcare as some childcares are only $200 per month. Yes, but quality sometimes depend on how much you pay too.

    Apart from finances, I have to juggle work with family. I come home from a long day at work. Baby is ill, cranky and I still have to deal with him. Sat/Sun are no longer "MY" time, but I have to bring the kids out, spend time at some playground or garden etc etc to keep them entertained. No eating at nice quiet restaurants because they are not child-friendly.

    There are sacrifices to be made of course. Many couples quarrel and fight after the 1st kid comes along because a kid does put a lot of stress and pressure on the couple. Some husbands are very hands off - they come home, sit in front of the TV whilst the wives are the ones tending to the kids. The wives feel resentful that their husbands have it so easy. etc etc...

    I think it is wise to put off having kids until and unless the couple is really ready for the challenges and hardship ahead. The money the govt is giving is not a good incentive simply because money doesn't solve everything. At the end of the day, it is the couple's relationship which will be the determining factor to have kids.

    Chrs
    Jinny

  18. #58
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by jtan4 View Post
    Being a mother of 2, I have to say that if you want to have kids, do it because you want to, NOT because the govt says so, your parents say so, your parents in law say so etc etc..

    Being a parent is a HUGE responsibility and at the end of the day, quite a big financial drain. Of course a kid brings quite a lot of joy, but when the kid is cranky/ill/temperamental/rebellious a kid can be a real terror as well.

    It is expensive to raise a kid in s'pore. I have to work because we cannot survive on a single income. Everything's just way expensive. Diapers about $20 per month; Milk powder about $20 per month; Maid about $500; childcare $650, housing loan, car loan etc etc.. all these add up. Of course one can say I should save on childcare as some childcares are only $200 per month. Yes, but quality sometimes depend on how much you pay too.

    Apart from finances, I have to juggle work with family. I come home from a long day at work. Baby is ill, cranky and I still have to deal with him. Sat/Sun are no longer "MY" time, but I have to bring the kids out, spend time at some playground or garden etc etc to keep them entertained. No eating at nice quiet restaurants because they are not child-friendly.

    There are sacrifices to be made of course. Many couples quarrel and fight after the 1st kid comes along because a kid does put a lot of stress and pressure on the couple. Some husbands are very hands off - they come home, sit in front of the TV whilst the wives are the ones tending to the kids. The wives feel resentful that their husbands have it so easy. etc etc...

    I think it is wise to put off having kids until and unless the couple is really ready for the challenges and hardship ahead. The money the govt is giving is not a good incentive simply because money doesn't solve everything. At the end of the day, it is the couple's relationship which will be the determining factor to have kids.

    Chrs
    Jinny

    hi all, this are wisdom and valuable sharing. Agree.. nowadays people work 24 by 7.. work from home.. etc... times are stressful... taking care of oneself already quite shaky.. now to take care of small ones ? better be prepared.

  19. #59

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    TOAST to all singles and available out there....

    hahaa

  20. #60

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    married with no kids cuz I haven't travelled enough yet. Got to go Alaska, California, Australia first

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