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Thread: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

  1. #1

    Default Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Is there Anyone think differently about why more and more Singaporean married adults don't want babies ?

    For an example 50% of my friend don't want to have babies as they feel once they have one they would not be able to enjoy life and couldn't lead the life they wanted.

    Below is what they think about having no life -

    1)No time for each other after having babies,
    2)With housing loans , car loan and so on , they say that they couldn't afford any more baby loans,
    3)Career minded , No one to take care of the babies as their own Parents are working as well,
    4)small animals are easier to manage than babies and they never give big problem
    5)Lastly of course wait till they grow older, with more money


    Personally I don't feel that it's wrong not to have babies , it is just a choice in a life process.
    The people now care more about money than sex and others , as money buy them who they are, what they want and their so call Singapore dream(5C).Babies are not C so mentally it's not even in their dream picture .

    The Gov. give baby Package but is it working ? Friends who has kids told me , its really better than nothing and when a friend tell me this , I know what he is saying is that the Baby Package can be better .

    When one wanted to start a family , this Family need two happily married person to be in love - "Do anyone think love needs alot of money ? Personally I think when you talk about love , one doesn't need money to buy it "
    Then it's their own nest which they want to build , a place they called it home where they can share their daily life with ."I believe everyone would prefer a nice and big house and for a good house , big money are what we are looking at , in this process can we smell any babies making opportunity ?? No and No ? The commitment for the couple are put in the house and surely one cannot afford not to be in the work force."
    Next will be the Car dream , in Singapore, Car is being express as a form of Freedom , Car can control our time, can control the place we would like to go and let us have many activity with other car user ." And of course , Everyone dream car is a Big money spend as well "
    Before even making the little one , most educated one will start taking out their calculator and start talking to their finance adviser and in the end after calculating their future child expense , do they still think Children is affordable ??

    Please share your views if you have any ......

    As for me I perfer a bigger HDB house than a small one because I dun like meeting the concrete wall too fast , it make me feel uneasy when the space is so small . Do anyone think that when you have kids you need more space for them to run around ?

    Do you think the money we make are spend more on housing ?
    Do you think if Gov. come up with more discount on housing for those who have children or those planning to have babies is good , does it mean that more couple will think about having one?
    For an example if one couple is having one babies for the Country , the Gov. give a discount of maybe $20 000.00 to their new house and this money can help them to start a Family with kids at a lower spending cost to their housing and keep more cash in the CPF and when the flat is affordable , do you think at least one parent can relax and take care of the young one ? Do you think it's less stressful to manage a family with this Gov. discount ? But of course the sum of money discounted cannot be consider ours and when we sell the Gov. flat it will either be a return credit back to the Gov. or it can be use for our new bigger flat . Does it sound good ? Or does it sound it is just something we feel that the Gov. can do for us ? Parent who want children are awarded with huge step of discount by the Gov. and as far as I know it will certainly make an impact , giving a good population system as natural as possible , the money is still not ours but it do help us in the begining.

    Gov. started with the Baby Package and I think it's really good . However the thing which this Gov. miss is a Good start for all the Parents , Baby Package help Parent with the Birth bills and the later education but they had miss the Starting Passion , having Babies are believe to be not just when you want you can have them , it is family building process as I have mention earlier , most people would prefer less costly to run a family with children , the cost is the housing , education and expenses so if this Gov can do something for the education I believe they can do something special for those who think that having children is always easy because the Gov. is giving them real discount for their contribution for this small Country

    I have wrote many , I may miss many important points but the rest is up to others who want to share their views. And ps ps only share what you think about the question I'm sharing orelse it will be waste of your time just reading and posting donkey post .


    Cheers!!!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    wah....

  3. #3

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    it all boils down to the mindset..

    the earlier generations didnt have kids in the most ideal situation: some of them didnt have cars, were still paying off housing loans, enjoyed no annual holidays overseas, and no splurging on german cameras and optics .. it all depends on what you want in life really..

  4. #4

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    You do write very long... I will not beat you to it

    Ok , my point is, if you want a kid, do not do it for your country or because govt say so. Do it for yourself and wife (or love ones). However, in preparation of a baby , you may need some financial planning. I have calculate a baby born in a few years time will cost > SGD $300k (taking into account of feeding him/her to 25 yrs old with a university degree)

    Moreover the baby bonus is pathetic, so do not depend on the govt for handouts as such. They should not significantly affect this who have not decide whether want to have /not have a child

    Feeding a pet is less maintaining. I have a pet at home. It is fulfiling my emotional needs to large extend. however, some couple may prefer kids and many will prefer no kids for various reasons. Different people , different "requirements". No right / wrong.

    Children is a lifetime commitment. No guarrantte it will bring happiness, financial (if you are hoping your kids will feed you at old age in this ever expensive island ) and good health. It boils down to your values and current / future needs.

    Most important - Do *NOT* do it cause your govt is saying "Make love , have more babies". Do it for yourselves - make sure your kid and your family will have a sufficient comfortable life in Singapore.
    Last edited by kitkat; 30th December 2006 at 01:33 PM.

  5. #5

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    If they have a baby, it means no sex for 9 months. Its that simple

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Why must have leh? Married must have kids meh? I got a lot of friends who don't want any although they're happily married.

  7. #7

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by wazzup View Post
    Why must have leh? Married must have kids meh? I got a lot of friends who don't want any although they're happily married.

    I agreed.

    alot of pple who are not married and have no kids are happy. It really boils down to individual values and expectation of meeting the goals.

  8. #8

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by MalcolmOng View Post
    If they have a baby, it means no sex for 9 months. Its that simple
    Not true. You can have sex during pregnancy. A fren who is a doctor told me this

  9. #9

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Lol. Ok....In that case i agree with the aforementioned reasons

  10. #10

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by MalcolmOng View Post
    If they have a baby, it means no sex for 9 months. Its that simple
    I beg to differ.... the best sex I've ever had was when my wife was pregnant.....

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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by kitkat View Post
    Not true. You can have sex during pregnancy. A fren who is a doctor told me this
    Yes. It's an urban myth to say that pregnant women can't have sex. You just need to be more attentive to your wife's needs, safety and comfortability, that's all.

  12. #12

    Default Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Hahahahahahahahaha !!!!!!

    I'm so Paisei People here are really into interesting sex issue ....

    What i meant in my earlier post is if the Gov. could do better and not providing . A suggestion is to make things easier and brainstorm for some .


    Regards

  13. #13

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by Free Agent View Post

    I'm so Paisei People here are really into interesting sex issue ....

    What i meant in my earlier post is if the Gov. could do better and not providing . A suggestion is to make things easier and brainstorm for some .


    Regards

    Sex discussion is always more interesting than baby posts in a male dominated forum

    There are ways that the govt could do much better, however, my impression that this is not in the top govt policy (or either that the policymakers do not understand the average joe couple needs)

  14. #14
    Senior Member Big Kahuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    My reason is no.3....well it's our choice at the moment but it might change over the time

  15. #15

    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    My wife just delivered a baby on christmas eve and the feeling is great. However, not many people share this idea. Having babies and getting married is a mindset which unfortunately many Singaporeans don't have. I heard people in Japan have this problem too.

    Money is a factor but it is more important for people to want to get married and have babies. If you get married and don't want to have babies, then why get married? You can just co-habit all your life like the rock and movie stars. Some of them get together longer than married couples who have babies.

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by MalcolmOng View Post
    If they have a baby, it means no sex for 9 months. Its that simple
    Not true!!!

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by hanafi View Post
    My wife just delivered a baby on christmas eve and the feeling is great. However, not many people share this idea. Having babies and getting married is a mindset which unfortunately many Singaporeans don't have. I heard people in Japan have this problem too.

    Money is a factor but it is more important for people to want to get married and have babies. If you get married and don't want to have babies, then why get married? You can just co-habit all your life like the rock and movie stars. Some of them get together longer than married couples who have babies.

    CONGRATULATIONS!!!

    Ever occured to you it's the "know-how" issue?
    just1book, no kidding!

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    actually the reason very simple.... because the P@P gahment did not sexplicity tell married man and woman to go $uck the wright pole and make babies.



    Quote Originally Posted by Free Agent View Post
    Is there Anyone think differently about why more and more Singaporean married adults don't want babies ?

    For an example 50% of my friend don't want to have babies as they feel once they have one they would not be able to enjoy life and couldn't lead the life they wanted.

    Below is what they think about having no life -

    1)No time for each other after having babies,
    2)With housing loans , car loan and so on , they say that they couldn't afford any more baby loans,
    3)Career minded , No one to take care of the babies as their own Parents are working as well,
    4)small animals are easier to manage than babies and they never give big problem
    5)Lastly of course wait till they grow older, with more money


    Personally I don't feel that it's wrong not to have babies , it is just a choice in a life process.
    The people now care more about money than sex and others , as money buy them who they are, what they want and their so call Singapore dream(5C).Babies are not C so mentally it's not even in their dream picture .

    The Gov. give baby Package but is it working ? Friends who has kids told me , its really better than nothing and when a friend tell me this , I know what he is saying is that the Baby Package can be better .

    When one wanted to start a family , this Family need two happily married person to be in love - "Do anyone think love needs alot of money ? Personally I think when you talk about love , one doesn't need money to buy it "
    Then it's their own nest which they want to build , a place they called it home where they can share their daily life with ."I believe everyone would prefer a nice and big house and for a good house , big money are what we are looking at , in this process can we smell any babies making opportunity ?? No and No ? The commitment for the couple are put in the house and surely one cannot afford not to be in the work force."
    Next will be the Car dream , in Singapore, Car is being express as a form of Freedom , Car can control our time, can control the place we would like to go and let us have many activity with other car user ." And of course , Everyone dream car is a Big money spend as well "
    Before even making the little one , most educated one will start taking out their calculator and start talking to their finance adviser and in the end after calculating their future child expense , do they still think Children is affordable ??

    Please share your views if you have any ......

    As for me I perfer a bigger HDB house than a small one because I dun like meeting the concrete wall too fast , it make me feel uneasy when the space is so small . Do anyone think that when you have kids you need more space for them to run around ?

    Do you think the money we make are spend more on housing ?
    Do you think if Gov. come up with more discount on housing for those who have children or those planning to have babies is good , does it mean that more couple will think about having one?
    For an example if one couple is having one babies for the Country , the Gov. give a discount of maybe $20 000.00 to their new house and this money can help them to start a Family with kids at a lower spending cost to their housing and keep more cash in the CPF and when the flat is affordable , do you think at least one parent can relax and take care of the young one ? Do you think it's less stressful to manage a family with this Gov. discount ? But of course the sum of money discounted cannot be consider ours and when we sell the Gov. flat it will either be a return credit back to the Gov. or it can be use for our new bigger flat . Does it sound good ? Or does it sound it is just something we feel that the Gov. can do for us ? Parent who want children are awarded with huge step of discount by the Gov. and as far as I know it will certainly make an impact , giving a good population system as natural as possible , the money is still not ours but it do help us in the begining.

    Gov. started with the Baby Package and I think it's really good . However the thing which this Gov. miss is a Good start for all the Parents , Baby Package help Parent with the Birth bills and the later education but they had miss the Starting Passion , having Babies are believe to be not just when you want you can have them , it is family building process as I have mention earlier , most people would prefer less costly to run a family with children , the cost is the housing , education and expenses so if this Gov can do something for the education I believe they can do something special for those who think that having children is always easy because the Gov. is giving them real discount for their contribution for this small Country

    I have wrote many , I may miss many important points but the rest is up to others who want to share their views. And ps ps only share what you think about the question I'm sharing orelse it will be waste of your time just reading and posting donkey post .


    Cheers!!!

  19. #19

    Talking Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    Quote Originally Posted by MalcolmOng View Post
    If they have a baby, it means no sex for 9 months. Its that simple
    pregnant women can have sex too
    Last edited by EtherealMasquerade; 30th December 2006 at 04:56 PM.

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Why Married Young Adults dun want to hv babies?

    there is really a lot to consider to having babies,
    its true that when 1 goes home after work the smile of the child greets the family ( but cries may accompany too). to have a child is not just the work of making n months of bearing it. care n effort must be given to the children to have mature mindset.

    i see kids nowadays with attitudes that really begs the question on how the up bringing is made.

    some jobs discriminates outright pregnant ladies , imagine in these current working life style , losing a job can affect a person's future retirement. i noe wats like to lose a job , to have a baby n when there is no job just turns the situation worst.

    i always view having children requires alot of financial support , sure the policy makers do give some, but i feel more can be done.

    shrink the whole situation of having a children to a company where the ceo decides the path of the company . which plan contribute to the company perfomance n hence distributes a better bonus payout ?

    1) employ external people to do the job?
    2) engage internal people to have babies so that some 1 in the future can do the job ?

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