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Thread: Help!!! How to handle love?

  1. #41

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by wildstallion View Post
    Yes, it is possible to love two people at the same time, although, I have not experienced it but know of people who have.

    Monogamy, may be due to what you have said, but it could also be due to the human need to be loved. I know id want someone around me who loved me, but why not 2 or more? Well, then jealousy would factor in, and in most situations cause alot of problems. In my opinion, monogomy is due to a deep connection that you will not likely find within another soul and therefore want to keep near to you, hence, marriage.

    I asked this question to a friend, so you get another view, this is what she replied:

    yes
    i think its both
    but they're both almost as one
    cos u need exclusive access to someone to feel secure, but u need to feel secure and feel like u have something and someone to get rid of jealousy of someone else
    also because its not right to play around tho

    Hope this helps

    Stallion, Thanks for your efforts

  2. #42
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    I would like to quote my fav CS idol
    "Weak Juvenile Minds"

    Take it easy yah.. enjoy the feeling, channel the rush of energy to where it should be. Don't let it develop to anything more than what it is.
    “How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.” - Adolf Hitler

  3. #43
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by yanyewkay View Post
    I would like to quote my fav CS idol
    "Weak Juvenile Minds"

    Take it easy yah.. enjoy the feeling, channel the rush of energy to where it should be. Don't let it develop to anything more than what it is.
    The force is weak with this 1...

    /me wave hand infront of TS... Go back to your wife...

    TS: Go back to my wife [starts walking off]
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

  4. #44
    Moderator Francis247's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Not sure if you can read Chinese.

    人生就是为了找寻爱的过程,每个人的人生都要找到四个人。

    第一个是自己,
    第二个是你最爱的人,
    第三个是最爱你的人,
    第四个是共度一生的人.
    首先会遇到你最爱的人,然後体会到爱的感觉;
    因为了解被爱的感觉,所以才能发现最爱你的人;
    当你经历过爱人与被爱,学会了爱,才会知道什么是你需要的,
    也才会找到最适合你,能够相处一辈子的人。
    但很悲哀的,在现实生活中,这三个人通常不是同一个人;
    你最爱的,往往没有选择你;
    最爱你的,往往不是你最爱的;
    而最长久的,偏偏不是你最爱也不是最爱你的,
    只是在最适合的时间出现的那个人。
    你,会是别人生命中的第几个人呢?
    没有人是故意要变心的,他爱你的时候是真的爱你,
    可是他不爱你的时候也是真的不爱你了,
    他爱你的时候没有办法假装不爱你;
    同样的,他不爱你的时候也没有办法假装爱你 。
    当一个人不爱你要离开你,
    你要问自己还爱不爱他,
    如果你也不爱他了,千万别为了可怜的自尊而不肯离开;
    如果你还爱他,你应该会希望他过得幸福快乐,
    希望他跟真正爱的人在一起,绝不会阻止,
    你要是阻止他得到真正的幸福,就表示你已经不爱他了,
    而如果你不爱他,你又有什么资格指责他变心呢?
    爱不是占有,
    你喜欢月亮,不可能把月亮拿下来放在脸盆里,
    但月亮的光芒仍可照进你的房间。
    换句话说,你爱一个人,也可以用另一种方式拥有,
    让爱人成为生命里的永恒回忆,
    如果你真爱一个人,就要爱他原来的样子─爱他的好,也爱他的坏:
    爱他的优点,也爱他的缺点,
    绝不能因为爱他,就希望他变成自己所希望的样子,
    万一变不成就不爱他了。
    真正爱一个人是无法说出原因的,
    你只知道无论何时何地、心情好坏,你都希望这个人陪著你;
    真正的感情是两人能在最艰苦中相守,也就是没有丝毫要求。
    毕竟,感情必须付出,而不是只想获得;
    分开是一种必然的考验,
    如果你们感情不够稳固,只好认输,
    真爱是不会变成怨恨的。
    两人在谈情说爱的时候,
    最喜欢叫对方发誓,许下承诺我们为什么要对方发誓,
    就是因为我们不相信对方,我们根本不相信情人,
    而这些山盟海誓又很不切实际:
    海枯石烂、地老天荒,都不能改变我对你的爱!
    明知道海不会枯、石不会烂、地不会老、天不会荒;
    就算会,也活不到那时候。
    许下诺言的时候千万注意,不要许下可以实现的诺言,
    最好是承诺做不到的事,
    反正做不到的,随便说说也不要紧,
    请记住:”不可能实现的诺言最动人”
    在爱情里,说的是一套,做的是另一套;
    讲的人不相信,听的人也不相信。
    你呢?找到了第几个?
    茫茫人海中,你遇见了谁?谁又遇见了你?

    祝愿天下有情人终成眷属
    莫问前程有愧,只求今生无悔. Time pasts, Places changed, Beauty faded, what is left are Photos of Memories…

  5. #45
    Senior Member Sion's Avatar
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    I guess most of us have experienced the feeling of falling in love. The feeling is so electrifying that we constantly crave for it purposely or subconsciously.

    The big problem is that you are already attached or married and this lovely lady/man at work suddenly comes into your life. Work brings you both together, his /her mysterious senses arouse your curiosity, his/her personality impressed you, his/her sense of humor mesmerizes you; his/her beauty face march up and down in your skull 24/7. Most importantly he/she gives you that splendid feeling of falling in love once more.

    Have you ever been in this situation? And how would you handle this situation?
    Are we built in such a way that we can fall in love a lot of times and love not just one person?
    Yes I had been in this situation many times.

    Unfortunately for me my boss was my wife.

  6. #46
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    when you are with someone for long, things get stagnant sometimes. everything becomes routine and a big yawn comes along. when another (new) person comes along and everything seems 'magical' and most ppl think it's love.

    they always say, you wont be with the one you love. but i always wonder : what is it that we 'love' this person so much ?

    love wont last as there's no such thing as eternity, that's why one of the vows of marriage is 'till death do us apart'.

    i dont know how to advise you either, 'cept you only get to live once. choose carefully and dont ever regret your decision. good luck
    爱是要时间慢慢培养的。。

  7. #47

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by raptor84 View Post

    In any relationship both parties have to be completely honest with each other and open communication is important. I really hate it when there are issues left hanging and I always try to resolve it as soon as possible.
    I have heard a lot of people purporting the importance of honesty in a relationship.
    But from my experiences, honesty is not necessary a good practice.
    My friend honestly, told his GF, he wanted to quit because he has found his true love.
    GF: If you have decided to leave me, I will jump right out of your house’s window.
    BF: No… Please don’t do anything foolish, it is foolish of me to desert you.
    GF: Prove it to me, Marry Me!!

    My friend being Mr Nice back down on his decision to call off the relation and eventually entered a forced marriage. Has an adorable child after one year into the marriage.

    Is it a happy ending?

    No, it is the beginning of hell. You can imagine his plight when his wife can’t forget about his true love.

    Conclusion
    His honesty has done him in. Breaking off is itself an act, do it properly and tastefully you will be spare the dire consequences.

  8. #48

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    I have heard a lot of people purporting the importance of honesty in a relationship.
    But from my experiences, honesty is not necessary a good practice.
    My friend honestly, told his GF, he wanted to quit because he has found his true love.
    GF: If you have decided to leave me, I will jump right out of your house’s window.
    BF: No… Please don’t do anything foolish, it is foolish of me to desert you.
    GF: Prove it to me, Marry Me!!

    My friend being Mr Nice back down on his decision to call off the relation and eventually entered a forced marriage. Has an adorable child after one year into the marriage.

    Is it a happy ending?

    No, it is the beginning of hell. You can imagine his plight when his wife can’t forget about his true love.

    Conclusion
    His honesty has done him in. Breaking off is itself an act, do it properly and tastefully you will be spare the dire consequences.
    yes he was honest but the GF seems too emotional and unstable to threaten to jump like that he problably would have made a wise desicsion to walk away then and there. How can you say he was 'honest' when he said "BF: No… Please don’t do anything foolish, it is foolish of me to desert you. " when what he truely wanted was another girl?

    So in the end he was unhappy becuase he was dis-honest and only married her to pacify her and not because the truly loved her.
    Furry Photos - Photography for the Modern Pet

  9. #49

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Stereobox View Post
    1st come, 1st served!!
    I like this one very much. You think going to prostitution meh?? 1st come, 1st served.

  10. #50

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by raptor84 View Post
    yes he was honest but the GF seems too emotional and unstable to threaten to jump like that he problably would have made a wise desicsion to walk away then and there. How can you say he was 'honest' when he said "BF: No… Please don’t do anything foolish, it is foolish of me to desert you. " when what he truely wanted was another girl?

    So in the end he was unhappy becuase he was dis-honest and only married her to pacify her and not because the truly loved her.
    Not everyone can handle the truth, so before being too honest better check the tolerance level of your partner. Anyone with any ideas how to?

    Is white lie acceptable to most of us? At that critical time, do we still expect him to be honest and frank? “You can jump off from anywhere but not from my window. After you jump I will still be as happy.”

  11. #51

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Yes I had been in this situation many times.

    Unfortunately for me my boss was my wife.
    Hahaha... So you got involved with your boss!!! Serve you right.

  12. #52
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    There is no right or wrong in love. Because of love, brilliant minds can also succumbed.
    I can still remember the marriage of Princess Di. What a fairy tale marriage it was.....

    Recently, I went through the same trough.
    The woman I love was outlandish, and I was reserved. But the funny thing was, I still love her...

    The only thing I could have done was via the translation of this Chinese Song:

    I promised too much Or I still din give enough
    You alway have enough reasons But I still try to blend with your wishes
    Let you be crazy Let you loosen up Hope one day you will be touched
    I pretend to be unmoved by rumours
    Till all the dreams are tried Till you are satisfied
    I want another try I want to ask who do you love
    If love is so hard to tell from right or wrong Then don't run be brave
    The heart you gave him Can you still ask it to come back
    How can I be angry for your mistake It was I who gave you too much freedom *beyond limit*
    Caused you to aloof Embroiled in the current
    How can I let you suffer It was I who gave you too much freedom *beyond limit*
    If you want to fly Let me bear your pains


    The last thing I can ever do is wish her well, and sms her that there will alway be a place for her in my heart.

    If it is love, nothing can stop you or hold you back.
    Just remember, you reap what you sow.

    What is love?
    红尘自有痴情者
    莫笑痴情太痴狂
    若非一番寒澈骨
    那得梅花扑鼻香
    问世间情为何物
    只教人生死相许
    看人间多少故事
    最消魂梅花三弄
    (白:)
    “梅花一弄断人肠”
    “梅花二弄费思量”
    “梅花三弄风波起”
    “云烟深处水茫茫”

    Love is eternal. Be it the wronged kind of love. It is memory you can't rub away.
    However, we only live once. Treasure it if you got the chance.
    Last edited by Benign; 21st December 2006 at 03:38 PM.

  13. #53

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    End of the day, before you go forward for something new and fresh, look back at your present relationship. Think of the good times and most importantly of the good times, think if she has stood by you when things were rough, comfort you when you were down, be your beacon when everyone else has abandoned you. Think of how she has put up with your nonsense and the rough patches you both and weathered through.

    It is very easy to fall for new and exciting things and say "I have fallen in love" but love is not just about good feelings, it is also about bad ones. About when you both fell out but yet deep inside you still love each other.

    If you go for the new one based on good feelings then one day you will part with her too because when a new one comes and once again you are attracted to the new and exciting feelings, she becomes boring to you.

  14. #54
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sion View Post
    Yes I had been in this situation many times.

    Unfortunately for me my boss was my wife.
    over mountains over trees...
    over oceans over seas...
    across the desert, your wife is there...

    in a whisper on the wind
    on the smile of your new friend
    just think of her
    and she'll be there...

    dun be afraid... of your love, as she'll be watching u from above...
    and she'd give all the hell tonight, to be with u...
    because she's on your side, and who else cares,
    u may have died, but have gone nowhere...

    Just think of her... and u'll beware...
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

  15. #55
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by Silence Sky View Post
    I have heard a lot of people purporting the importance of honesty in a relationship.
    But from my experiences, honesty is not necessary a good practice.
    My friend honestly, told his GF, he wanted to quit because he has found his true love.
    GF: If you have decided to leave me, I will jump right out of your house’s window.
    BF: No… Please don’t do anything foolish, it is foolish of me to desert you.
    GF: Prove it to me, Marry Me!!

    My friend being Mr Nice back down on his decision to call off the relation and eventually entered a forced marriage. Has an adorable child after one year into the marriage.

    Is it a happy ending?

    No, it is the beginning of hell. You can imagine his plight when his wife can’t forget about his true love.

    Conclusion
    His honesty has done him in. Breaking off is itself an act, do it properly and tastefully you will be spare the dire consequences.
    u mean your wife & your fren's wife is the same wife?

    i believe everyone is different, same goes to wives... if u dun understand her, no one else would... anyway, if u wanna have flings, no need to seek permission here, neither do you need blessing for anything u about to do.
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

  16. #56

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Quote Originally Posted by centuryegg View Post
    End of the day, before you go forward for something new and fresh, look back at your present relationship. Think of the good times and most importantly of the good times, think if she has stood by you when things were rough, comfort you when you were down, be your beacon when everyone else has abandoned you. Think of how she has put up with your nonsense and the rough patches you both and weathered through.

    It is very easy to fall for new and exciting things and say "I have fallen in love" but love is not just about good feelings, it is also about bad ones. About when you both fell out but yet deep inside you still love each other.

    If you go for the new one based on good feelings then one day you will part with her too because when a new one comes and once again you are attracted to the new and exciting feelings, she becomes boring to you.
    i agree with centuryegg on what he said. Just remember that there's no right or wrong in a relationship and no one is in any position to advise you what to do. Cause you will be the one to bear the consequences.

    Your situation is not unique and i guess quite a lot of people has that feeling of falling in love with someone else even though they have gf/ wife. It could really be due to being in a realtionship for too long and thus things get stagnant. That's why there should be progress in a relationship. e.g from courtship to steady, from steady to marriage, from marriage to having children. These are the stages in life that will keep the feeling new and refreshed. If you stay at any one stage for too long, things will get boring and you may "fall in love" with another gal.

    It is always important to think of the good moments that you have with your current gf/ wife before makign a decision. I have the same mistake once and i still regret it. I broke off with a gal which i realised later that i really love her but she is already with someone else and is planning for marriage.

    People used to say you treasure those things that you lost and this could really be one of those cases. And things once lost, you will seldom be able to get it back.

    So think carefully what you want before you decide on your action. cause you must not regret whatever decision you make.

  17. #57
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    The One You Love ~ Glenn Frey

    I know you need a friend, someone you can talk to
    Who will understand what you're going through
    When it comes to love, there's no easy answer
    Only you can say what you're gonna do
    I heard you on the phone, you took his number
    Said you weren't alone, but you'd call him soon
    Isn't he the guy, the guy who left you cryin'?
    Isn't he the one who made you blue?
    When you remember those nights in his arms
    You know you gotta make up your mind

    Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
    Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
    Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
    Someone's gonna thank the stars above

    What you gonna say when he comes over?
    There's no easy way to see this through
    All the broken dreams, all the disappointment
    Oh girl, what you gonna do?
    Your heart keeps sayin' it's just not fair
    But still you gotta make up your mind

    Are you gonna stay with the one who loves you
    Or are you goin' back to the one you love?
    Someone's gonna cry when they know they've lost you
    Someone's gonna thank the stars above


    Although in this case its one gal and 2 guys....
    Yes, it can happen, what are you gonna do...

    If you're French, its easy... they go by how they feel...

  18. #58

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    How to handle infatuation or other love distractions?

    Simple. Discipline and using your big head instead of your little head.

    For me, love handles are more a problem than handling love.

  19. #59
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    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    Do you still remember your marriage vow?
    除了爱, 我一无所有

  20. #60

    Default Re: Help!!! How to handle love?

    to TS, how you know u love her? or not lust? u used to love your wife right? do u really know what is love?

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