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Thread: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

  1. #1
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    Default Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    The Value of a Drink
    "Sometimes when I reflect back on all the wine I drink
    I feel shame Then I look into the glass and think
    about the workers in the vineyards and all of their hopes
    and dreams . If I didn't drink this wine, they might be out
    of work and their dreams would be shattered.
    Then I say to myself, "It is better that I drink this wine and let their
    dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver"
    ~ Jack Handy

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell
    happened to your bra and panties.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they
    wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're
    going to feel all day. "
    ~W.C. Fields

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading"
    ~ Henny Youngman

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case. Coincidence? I think not"
    ~ Stephen Wright

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "When we drink, we get drunk. When we get drunk,
    we fall asleep. When we fall asleep, we commit no sin.
    When we commit no sin, we go to heaven. So, let's all
    get drunk and go to heaven!"
    ~ Brian O'Rourke

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy."
    ~ Benjamin Franklin

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    "Without question, the greatest invention in the
    history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the
    wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does
    not go nearly as well with pizza."
    ~ Dave Barry


    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


    To some it's a six-pack, to me it's a Support Group. Salvation in a can!
    ~ Dave Howell

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.
    ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

    And saving the best for last, as explained by Cliff Clavin, of Cheers
    One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm.
    Here's how it went:


    "Well ya see, Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members. In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the slowest b rain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we know, kills brain cells. But naturally, it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not
    just1book, no kidding!

  2. #2
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    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    I hope you can still recite all these quotes when the TP stop you at a road-block.

  3. #3

    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season


  4. #4
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    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    "Not all chemicals are bad. Without chemicals such as hydrogen and oxygen, for example, there would be no way to make water, a vital ingredient in beer."
    Dave Barry



    Image from http://www.popartuk.com

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Quote Originally Posted by arpinkor View Post
    I hope you can still recite all these quotes when the TP stop you at a road-block.
    Smart drinkers don't drive when they want to go out for boozing. They take public transport. Only stupid drinkers drive thinking that they can handle it and won't get caught.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Quote Originally Posted by arpinkor View Post
    I hope you can still recite all these quotes when the TP stop you at a road-block.
    One of the WARNINGS,

    WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.


    Driving is not a problem, getting caught is.

    In fact, I don't drink anymore.
    But, I don't drink any less!!!
    just1book, no kidding!

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Quote Originally Posted by redstorm View Post
    Smart drinkers don't drive when they want to go out for boozing. They take public transport. Only stupid drinkers drive thinking that they can handle it and won't get caught.
    just1book, no kidding!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Getting caught is the least of the problems.... making the car into a killing machine is the biggest problem...

    Quote Originally Posted by redstorm View Post
    Smart drinkers don't drive when they want to go out for boozing. They take public transport. Only stupid drinkers drive thinking that they can handle it and won't get caught.

  9. #9

    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    *removed*

    U guys are so serious... I better take away my joke. Otherwise kenna flamed!
    Last edited by Caspere; 20th December 2006 at 07:55 PM.

  10. #10

    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Beauty is in the eye of the beer-holder

  11. #11

    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Quote Originally Posted by Winsonapm View Post
    Driving is not a problem, getting caught is.
    This is the most irresponsible statement I ever heard. If getting caught is the problem, then what is wrecking the lives of innocent people?

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Alcohol drinking is fine when you have self control.

    If you drink extremely excessively but do not drive, handle heavy equipment, or do anything that may endanger others while drunk, then carry on.

    You have merely booked in advance, a bed in the liver cancer ward in the hospital.

    It is ok too, you are contributing all your life savings to keep the economy running by paying it all to the hospital, doctors and pharmaceutical companies that produce the medicines.

    Of course it is not funny anymore when YOU DO get liver cancer.

    It is also not funny anymore when you are in Court charged for killing others when drunk driving.

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Drinking is actually a virtue, especially during this festive season

    Quote Originally Posted by Winsonapm View Post

    Driving is not a problem, getting caught is.
    Sori, it was written under the influence of alcohol. Iím sober now.


    Quote Originally Posted by mervlam View Post
    This is the most irresponsible statement I ever heard. If getting caught is the problem, then what is wrecking the lives of innocent people?
    Responsible drinkers, don't drive
    just1book, no kidding!

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