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Thread: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

  1. #161

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    my take is this, i do wedding shoots also and for friends and relatives, i do not mind taking for free but from what u say of ur future bro-in-law...

    i suggest you just tell him u r not comfortable doing it (the tactful way) or tell him off for his attitude (the tactless way but check if u will offend ur gf first, no point fighting with ur gf over such pple)

    there's really no point shooting if u r unhappy abt it!

  2. #162

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by simon80 View Post
    Hahahaaha

    my uncle also tell me to shoot for my cousin wedding. I tell him I charge ..
    And then he tell me .. blood is thicker than water or something ??

    Then I tell him $ is thicker than blood
    haha.. i'd do the same. hope ur uncle not mad at u for saying tat.

  3. #163

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Dear all concerned pals,
    Oh, this thread really drags and i still cannot come up with a conclusion.
    I've asked my GF if she likes me to charge her bro or not. She said "of course don't like, its my brother leh"
    Then i tried to share a piece of my mind with her on how i felt being exploited and she don't want to listen much.
    All she said was... Her bro wedding is not here yet, don't want to talk about it first.
    Sigh... i've got mixed feelings. I agreed on both sides when you guys ask me not to take for her bro as i'm being exploited, as well as ask me to take for her bro so that i won't put my gf in a spot.
    Hence, no conclusion for now.

    But i truly appreciate you guys giving me alot of ideas, comments and sharing me with your experiences. If i really reply to every single one of you, this thread will be very long. Thank you pals. Will update again when i've decided.

    Much appreciated.
    palvin

  4. #164

    Default Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Dear all concerned pals,
    Oh, this thread really drags and i still cannot come up with a conclusion.
    I've asked my GF if she likes me to charge her bro or not. She said "of course don't like, its my brother leh"
    Then i tried to share a piece of my mind with her on how i felt being exploited and she don't want to listen much.
    All she said was... Her bro wedding is not here yet, don't want to talk about it first.
    Sigh... i've got mixed feelings. I agreed on both sides when you guys ask me not to take for her bro as i'm being exploited, as well as ask me to take for her bro so that i won't put my gf in a spot.
    Hence, no conclusion for now.

    But i truly appreciate you guys giving me alot of ideas, comments and sharing me with your experiences. If i really reply to every single one of you, this thread will be very long. Thank you pals. Will update again when i've decided.

    Much appreciated.
    palvin
    swallow your pride and do it if you are keen to develop your relationship with your current steady

    because will put you in good light with their family and relatives.

  5. #165
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Dear all concerned pals,
    Oh, this thread really drags and i still cannot come up with a conclusion.
    I've asked my GF if she likes me to charge her bro or not. She said "of course don't like, its my brother leh"
    Then i tried to share a piece of my mind with her on how i felt being exploited and she don't want to listen much.
    All she said was... Her bro wedding is not here yet, don't want to talk about it first.
    Sigh... i've got mixed feelings. I agreed on both sides when you guys ask me not to take for her bro as i'm being exploited, as well as ask me to take for her bro so that i won't put my gf in a spot.
    Hence, no conclusion for now.

    But i truly appreciate you guys giving me alot of ideas, comments and sharing me with your experiences. If i really reply to every single one of you, this thread will be very long. Thank you pals. Will update again when i've decided.

    Much appreciated.
    palvin
    In the realistic world people will always think of themselves, how they
    could benefit from others without having to cough out the required
    sum for a service. They won't get a good peanut service from a doctor
    or a dentist and neither will there be a dream of getting such services
    from any other related arena.

    It's a tough battle for the industry to stop image seeking personnels
    from their doings. Almost every human beings have some degree
    of pride and learning to control such is vital as giving support to the
    Ultimate for protection. Lets look at what others in the past have
    mentioned on this subject:

    "Be aware of...make every act an offering to me, and you
    shall come to me; for you are dear to me.
    Abandon all supports and look to me for protection. I shall purify you
    from the sins of the past; do not grieve"

    - Bhagavad Gita 18.65-66

    A few questions you have to ask yourself.

    1. Do you want your life to be able to flow between yourself
    and others based heavily on a mutual giving from the heart?

    2. Do you have a keen awareness of the interdependence of all
    living beings, which are all part of one another, and all involved in
    one another?

    For many years I have refused to do free service abiding by the
    rules of being a professional but as I matured more and more into
    the industry the mode has to change when the need of keep up with
    the healthy living of humanity. Giving more without feeling that
    others are doing injustices to you is maturity in soul searching and
    mindfulness. You just got to make a choice. In the end you still
    have to bear with the outcome.

    "We must come together as living beings, as together we can
    create the harmony with which we can reach the love of
    God. That is the entire purpose of creation.
    - Rev. Sun Myung Moon


    -------------------------------------------------
    "When we experience the pain of another person, we instinctively
    want to take away that pain. But by taking away the other personís pain, we also take away his or her opportunity to grow.
    To be truly compassionate, we must be able to share another
    personís suffering and pain -- knowing there is nothing we can
    do to relieve it and that we are not responsible for it, and yet
    knowing and understanding what that pain feels like."

    - John Gray


  6. #166
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    You're at most marrying the girl, not the guy.

    It's going to be awful shooting for someone whom you may feel is totally undeserving of such a service from you.
    Last edited by sehsuan; 15th December 2006 at 01:17 AM.

  7. #167

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Dear all concerned pals,
    Oh, this thread really drags and i still cannot come up with a conclusion.
    I've asked my GF if she likes me to charge her bro or not. She said "of course don't like, its my brother leh"
    Then i tried to share a piece of my mind with her on how i felt being exploited and she don't want to listen much.
    All she said was... Her bro wedding is not here yet, don't want to talk about it first.
    Sigh... i've got mixed feelings. I agreed on both sides when you guys ask me not to take for her bro as i'm being exploited, as well as ask me to take for her bro so that i won't put my gf in a spot.
    Hence, no conclusion for now.

    But i truly appreciate you guys giving me alot of ideas, comments and sharing me with your experiences. If i really reply to every single one of you, this thread will be very long. Thank you pals. Will update again when i've decided.

    Much appreciated.
    palvin

    Your girlfriend is not understanding at all. Yes thats the brother, but letting the brother exploit you ah..

    My advice.... dump the girlfriend and marry your camera!

  8. #168
    Senior Member
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    1,572

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    i think ur gf is rather biased, as a bf u should b held in higher regardes than her bro. if she's not going 2 listen 2 u on tis subject 4 now, think abt how she will likely 2 siam other stuff in d future.

    sad 2 say, mayb u r not tt imp aft all...

  9. #169
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    ahah now the gf kena also.. kaoz..

    i think he has enuff opinons and suggestions now to do what he needs to do, i'm just curious as to wat the outcome is, that's why keep checking back here!

  10. #170

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by Reliance View Post
    swallow your pride and do it if you are keen to develop your relationship with your current steady

    because will put you in good light with their family and relatives.
    This is about the worse advise there is. It's not a pride theing, it's a respect thing. Putting in a good with with gf's family and relatives is abslutely udeless with a relationship? Who will palvin marry? The gf of the relatives and family.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Dear all concerned pals,
    Oh, this thread really drags and i still cannot come up with a conclusion.
    I've asked my GF if she likes me to charge her bro or not. She said "of course don't like, its my brother leh"
    Then i tried to share a piece of my mind with her on how i felt being exploited and she don't want to listen much.
    All she said was... Her bro wedding is not here yet, don't want to talk about it first.
    Sigh... i've got mixed feelings. I agreed on both sides when you guys ask me not to take for her bro as i'm being exploited, as well as ask me to take for her bro so that i won't put my gf in a spot.
    Hence, no conclusion for now.
    ...
    palvin
    Your gf is definately not convince you are the one. Why, if you are, she should be able to stand by you. Who is she marrying? You or her brother? Who is the most important person in the rest of her life? Her husband or her brother, family or relatives?

    Quote Originally Posted by vapress View Post
    Your girlfriend is not understanding at all. Yes thats the brother, but letting the brother exploit you ah..
    My advice.... dump the girlfriend and marry your camera!
    My advise also, time to upgrade gf, change new model, do so urgently.
    deadpoet
    my portfolio

  11. #171
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    think we shld do a Poll if alvin is to shoot for his future bro in law?

  12. #172
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.



    Quote Originally Posted by Paul_Yeo View Post
    think we shld do a Poll if alvin is to shoot for his future bro in law?

  13. #173

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    IMO, if you don't like to do it...don't do it. Seeing the couple through your camera viewfinder will make you worse...and it is doubtful that you will be able to capture the "lovely" moment.

    Just tell him you are not confident and dont have the skill for that...and tell the truth to your gf that you dont like to shoot for her bro and tell her about the attitude of her bro frankly.
    Last edited by Kho King; 15th December 2006 at 09:38 AM.
    DR KOH KHO KING

  14. #174

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    personally I don't feel so right charging for the close one...bro in law is just like your own bro...and personally I will not charge for my bro in law.

    However, service must be appreciated, else I would rather not to do the job. It is not about money, but appreciation.

    So...it should be either to take up the job and do it happily with whole heartful (for free) or decline to do it. You should not do it for money, as if he is paying you to do the job, then you are no longer a bro in law but just a photographer that he hired (lower grade).
    DR KOH KHO KING

  15. #175
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    I would be 'busy' on the day and dissappear. Or just say you have a prior shooting engagement. Frankly I would not even want to attend his dinner. As someone mentioned this could lead to future 'free' shoots.

  16. #176

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Hi for Thread starter,

    Just tell your gf and his brother that you are having some problems and you don't think you can concentrate taking photo for them. and Offer to borrow out your DSLR to whoever their friend or relative so they can cover it... then up to them to decide.

    Basically they are layman who don't really know like photographer about how good a photo is, they see you get a DSLR so they ask u to help. But for you, you may think it is exploited.. so both sides are actually looking at different thing.

    just follow my advise then you see what they said, they won't really blame you that u are actually not in mood to take, and since you offer to borrow out your DSLR, they could actually just get whoever to take it, since they don't really think person behind the camera makes difference.

    You have seen after so many pages of "good advices" have led you to no end, someone even suggest u to do something in your relationship..sigh..

    I do free wedding shots for my friends.. i had same dilemma like you. Same thing, just decline if u don't like but offer the equipment, your gf may nag u at first, but time comes, they will understand...

    Let's put down our Ego, I have noticed so many people getting DSLR in few months then start to think of charging for doing wedding photography as 'part time pro'..

  17. #177

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    OT a bit, the title reallys have to change..let's not use singlish..ha

    "Gf's bro wanted my free service.." <-- every keyword makes me have a bad thought..ha..

    "Gf's bro wants me to take free photo for him on his wedding day!!!" ...it is longer i know

  18. #178

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    aiyah... it is like that one lah... people will pay high high price for exotic services such as wedding consultant, posh hotel but peanuts for photographer. maybe we should coin an exotic and high class name instead of calling ourselves photographer.


    For me, I wouldn't mind doing it for free for my close relatives. I get to enjoy myself at the same time wat.


    but hor.. your future bro in law is really 'chow quan' and I don't like his mentality lah... wat u can do is to sabo him lor... purposely get blurry, overexpose/underexpose / poorly composed or out of focus shots. make him learn the hard way the importance of photographer on his wedding lor...

  19. #179
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by weekh View Post
    purposely get blurry, overexpose/underexpose / poorly composed or out of focus shots. make him learn the hard way the importance of photographer on his wedding lor...
    but but.... it's gonna be hailed as artistic!

  20. #180

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by sORe-EyEz View Post
    i think ur gf is rather biased, as a bf u should b held in higher regardes than her bro. if she's not going 2 listen 2 u on tis subject 4 now, think abt how she will likely 2 siam other stuff in d future.

    sad 2 say, mayb u r not tt imp aft all...
    so serious ah?

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