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Thread: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

  1. #41
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Sep 2005
    Raffles Place

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    tell him that some fengshui master said it will be very bad for his fortune if u take for him.

  2. #42

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Don't bother giving excuses. No one will believe you. Analyse the situation carefully and calculate your own risks. If you don't take the pictures, you might offend her bro and your gf. But if your gf has a sense of fairness and cares about your integrity, she should be supporting you instead of allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. Let your gf knows your decision that you want to help her bro to take pictures but at the same time, also let her know about your feelings. If she still happily encourage you to help her bro, you will know better what kind of person your gf is. To know your gf's heart is far more important than helping her bro to take for free in my own personal opinion. It doesn't matter if the pics turn out good or bad, what matters most is to know your gf is on whose side.
    Last edited by Yezrah; 11th December 2006 at 01:10 AM.

  3. #43

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by eikin View Post
    then be as calculative as him. make him cover all possible damages that arises on that day make sure it's in black and white. don't go through your girlfriend, speak to him in person
    Yea. Thats my thoughts too! Cos he too calculative with my gf until my respect for him is decreasing. I wanted to be calculative with him too but he was the one who ask his sister to approach me and not approach me directly.

    I gave my gf a piece of my thoughts upon knowing her bro's request and it seems like my gf is a little disappointed although she said its ok if i don't take pics for him.

  4. #44

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    TS, u and him, i think no more than stranger ...
    How bout your gf then? How does she think? If u can share your thought with her, i think that would much be better than seeking advice from ... strangers like us here...

    How about talk to her tactfully first .. what she thinks and maybe other family members think might be more important (to you, of course) than what we think here ... if that is not the case than period from me

    Just one thought from me: the fact that he wanted to shoot with a PnS just make it very obvious that he has next to zero knowledge on photography and little to nothing on appreciation of ROM's photos (of his own). So if he know you want to charge then we'll have the above story of water and blood n etc ...

    Ha ha just realize my post contradicts with some above, just MHO, pls ...
    Last edited by Andry; 11th December 2006 at 01:09 AM.

  5. #45

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by r32 View Post
    How about being on "reservist training" for the weekend? Be creative, but credible.

    Erm... just ended my ICT end of oct leh.

  6. #46

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Erm... just ended my ICT end of oct leh.
    say on slient mob lor

  7. #47
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    West Coast

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by stonefish35 View Post
    say on slient mob lor
    yeah! silent mob is the way to go! haha!

    All the best TS! =)


  8. #48
    Member Static's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Surfing soft porn in CS

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    1) Did he ever see ur portfolio b4 >? If not, quickly go take many OOF, under/over-exposed pics and send him the weblink. See if he still wants u.

    2) Tell him politely u never take wedding b4 and ur skills may not up to his standards.

    3) Resign to fate, just shoot for free for ur gf sake
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  9. #49
    Join Date
    Aug 2004

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Erm... just ended my ICT end of oct leh.
    You basically just don't feel like doing it, then don't do it. Just let him know that your skills are not up to the standards of those regular paid AD photographers and there is a high chance of you screwing things up. Then give some examples of your past "screw-ups" to strengthen your message and that he would be better off with a "paid AD photographer".

    Try not to make such incident too overly complicated. You can better make use of your time to do more meaningful things. So, switch off your computer now, contact your Gf's Bro and get it over with.

  10. #50

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    say no to chao kuang people
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  11. #51
    Join Date
    May 2006
    sunset blvd

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    on that very day u clear MC lol

  12. #52

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Thats a good one! But he is my potential bro-in-law leh. How?
    In some ways, and depending on how much contact you and your future wife may have, the above statement says it all.

    Besides the obvious that has been pointed out, sometimes, for 'family peace' we all have to do things we don't want to, or like.

    But if your partner is in the opinion that you should not be taken advantage of, and is willing to rock the boat along with you, then it's your call.

    Other than that, unless you use one of the suggestions mentioned by the others, or think of something, it looks like you're done for.

    Another approach you could take is to ask him to at least pay for expenses. What was it Belle & Sebastian shared once? Show him this list:

    transport cost.

    meeting the clients needs time and money,

    confirming and collecting the retainer/deposit cost time and money.

    meeting a few days before the client's wedding cost time and money.

    going down to cover the wedding needs time and money.

    going home to rest in-between the festitivies cost time and money.

    going back to the dinner venue cost time and money.

    returning home from the long day cost time and money.

    meeting your clients to deliver your work cost time and money.

    that is just transport cost.


    sample albums, sample prints, sample pictures, sample CDs
    electicity costs

    computers need power

    cameras need power

    flashes need power

    electric bills are going up again.
    hardware cost

    cameras cost money
    camera parts cost moeny
    lenses cost money
    lens hoods cost money
    filters cost money
    memony cards cost money
    batteries cost money
    flashes cost money

    camera bags cost money
    computers cost money
    ram cost money
    harddisk cost money
    monitors cost money
    mouse, keypads, card readers, cost money
    extention cords cost money
    tables and chairs that you sit to edit your photos cost money
    going to buy these equipment cost time and money.

    softcopy costs

    photoshop cost money
    software to enhance your pictures cost money
    other photo editing. enchaning slideshow software cost money
    anti-virus software cost money
    internet cost money

    real or fake software, also need money to buy.


    phonebills need to be paid
    servers need to be paid
    marketing tools need to be paid
    salary needs to be paid

    cost of sales

    CDs need money
    DVDs need money
    covers need money
    paper need money
    ink need money
    paperback need money


    rental bills, car bills, tables, chairs, lights, water, fridge etc........


    sample albums, sample prints, sample pictures, sample CDs

    IF all else fails, this is what a cab driver once shared with me (when dealing with difficult relatives). * This is not me or what I would use; I would most likely help, or say No outrightly.

    1) Get pally with them. Basically, treat them nicely and gain their trust, or at least liking.

    2) Call them up privately and say you need to meet to discuss something very important. Get that person to make time for you.

    3) Meet up, and chit chat for awhile, and start stoking his ego saying that you really respect what he has achieved bla bla bla, and that you feel he is the only poerson who can help.

    4) Ask to borrow 30K as you need to get some loansharks off your back.

  13. #53

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    What he suggested was that i can go to the wedding dinner without giving him "ang pow" but i need to be the photographer for the day! Its like giving me a free meal for my effort.
    Bro, I think there's some misunderstanding. During the day, you shoot that's fine.
    BUT at the dinner hor... As you know the usual chinese wedding dinner sequence...
    The AD photog WHERE GOT TIME TO SIT & EAT??? So he is NOT giving you a free meal.
    Rather you give him an Ang Pow and sit down to eat man.
    Last edited by FiveIronFrenzy; 11th December 2006 at 02:31 AM.

  14. #54

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    It depends on how u look at it.... does ur gf worth more than being a free AD and ang pow for his bro....

    I will do it even i know im being exploited... all these just to put a smile on ur gf's face...why not?


  15. #55
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Blue/Green Planet

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Tell him you only shoot nudes.
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  16. #56
    Senior Member dominator's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Amazon Forest

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Aiya, go ahead and shoot for him la.
    Since he WANTED you, haha...go shoot lor. Be his AD photographer and learn experience lor. Make sure you tell in advance you are not pro.

    By the way...
    If you never shoot for him, he remembers for awhile.
    If you shoot and photos BAD, he sees it forever!
    Cleanse your thoughts, not by the foods you eat.

  17. #57
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Feb 2004

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    the perfect answer is: tell the truth and how u feel. as she is your gf, ultimately will be your wife who will share your life, you need to tell her how u really feel about it, be 100% open to her.

    Also, your future bro-in-law, tell him the truth and dun cook up any excuse. It is not good for both of you if you are not feeling good when shooting - both the results, the inspiration, your mood, the relationship tension etc.

    Then, think about the future, this free service may not be the last one. If you dun tell them how u feel, what about next shoot from another relative? Are you going to be the same and forced yourself to take bcos dun want to offend?

  18. #58
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Yew Tee

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Its two side - Shoot so that in the future, you gf's family will accept you and not give you so much problems.

    On the other side, don't shoot, because of your first post.

    If I was you, I would shoot, but give the photos in a CD.
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  19. #59

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    If you shoot just to make peace with your gf and her family, you will be forever be making peace. It will be never ending.

    Your gf must understand you and must be on your side. If she is not, it's a good indication of things to come. I am assuming you and your gf are very close, and are contemplating a life together.
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  20. #60
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Nov 2004

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    I say shoot. It could either be you or you hiring someone or you sharing the cost with your gf's friends to hire this fellow a photographer. Treat it as a gift.


    you shoot, take the best shots but give him in CD.

    He appreciates or not... We don't know but you've done your part and next time if this incident arises, you're clear.


    pull him aside, talk to him nicely, then show him your cost of bill. everything! like mentioned above. ask him to how cover cost. But honestly... even if he pays you, i doubt it would be good and he'll increase his expectations.

    So either you decline him persistently or some way or another, get his pictures done.

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