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Thread: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

  1. #201
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by eikin View Post
    actually after so many pages i also see no point telling palvin to charge at this wedding. that should have been done right after the ROM. since that was not done, the line cannot be drawn now as palvin lost his initiative, can only draw the line after this one. palvin can make it clear that if future in-laws want his service, the best he can is to give a small discount, nothing less.
    I dunno.

    Its true that we cant tell him when to draw that line. As i said, i am still starting out in photography, so i dunnno if there is any problem for doing AD and not doing the ROM thingy

    I am feared more for the aftermath - maybe his bro-in-law even asked him to come up with a coffe table book - for free?

    OMG.....

  2. #202
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by eikin View Post
    well, palvin's GF got to be convinced that he is freelancing now. he can't be telling her that he is freelancing now and the first job is her brother's wedding, right?
    Now its all lies on the gift of the gap....


  3. #203
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by cjl View Post
    I dunno.

    Its true that we cant tell him when to draw that line. As i said, i am still starting out in photography, so i dunnno if there is any problem for doing AD and not doing the ROM thingy

    I am feared more for the aftermath - maybe his bro-in-law even asked him to come up with a coffe table book - for free?

    OMG.....
    that's up to him to decide. the minimum definition of photography service is just taking pictures. (printing, albums etc not included)

    the mistake was made once, this is the consequence, it can only change after 'sufferring' this consequence.
    Last edited by eikin; 16th December 2006 at 12:22 PM.

  4. #204
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by cjl View Post
    Now its all lies on the gift of the gap....



    if it works i'd love to know how it's done

  5. #205
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    To the Threadstarter

    After 11 long pages of postings, have you come to a conclusion? Perhaps you may like to close this thread since it has achieved its purpose.

    Regards

  6. #206

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    over 200 posts already.

    before u close, can summarise 1st?


    thanks..

    .

  7. #207
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    With all due respect, if I were to be a housing agent, and if my relative is marrying, I can't be expected to GIVE a house free. Similarly for photography as well.

  8. #208

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by sehsuan View Post
    With all due respect, if I were to be a housing agent, and if my relative is marrying, I can't be expected to GIVE a house free. Similarly for photography as well.
    Brother in law is not just a relative...he is your brother.

    Of course you can't give a free house, but as a housing agent, you can give free intro/recommendation to which house to buy or rent without taking commission from him.

    It really goes down to what is more important in your life, money or love.
    DR KOH KHO KING

  9. #209
    Senior Member jOhO's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kho King View Post
    Brother in law is not just a relative...he is your brother.

    Of course you can't give a free house, but as a housing agent, you can give free intro/recommendation to which house to buy or rent without taking commission from him.

    It really goes down to what is more important in your life, money or love.
    sorry.. i don't subscribe to that, life isn't so cut and dried.

    this case is certainly not a choice between "love" - shoot for BIL, or "money" - don't shoot for "BIL" cos not getting paid.

    and BIL isn't a brother. i had a hard time growing up with my own REAL brother, even today we aren't close, but if something happened to him i will be the first one there. that's brotherhood, becos we have the same mother. i don't have a choice, and i only have one of him.

    as for my bother in law, if he was anything like my brother, he can go fly kite. but that's my family lar, may not apply to all. and bro in law got so many, wife's brothers, or sister's husbands, then still got sis in law leh? bro's wife, sister's husbands.. it's different lor, different to real bro or sis.

    conclusion... bro in law is (just) a "relative". how close u are to him is another matter. cannot compare to real blood.

  10. #210

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by jOhO View Post
    sorry.. i don't subscribe to that, life isn't so cut and dried.

    this case is certainly not a choice between "love" - shoot for BIL, or "money" - don't shoot for "BIL" cos not getting paid.

    and BIL isn't a brother. i had a hard time growing up with my own REAL brother, even today we aren't close, but if something happened to him i will be the first one there. that's brotherhood, becos we have the same mother. i don't have a choice, and i only have one of him.

    as for my bother in law, if he was anything like my brother, he can go fly kite. but that's my family lar, may not apply to all. and bro in law got so many, wife's brothers, or sister's husbands, then still got sis in law leh? bro's wife, sister's husbands.. it's different lor, different to real bro or sis.

    conclusion... bro in law is (just) a "relative". how close u are to him is another matter. cannot compare to real blood.
    I guess different people have different view. For me, my wife's family is also my family
    DR KOH KHO KING

  11. #211

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Just tell him the cons of using you as the one and only official photographer.

    1) you may be sick that day

    2) your equipment may conk out during the dinner

    Just tell him to get a backup photographer as you have no obligation to make it up to him in anyway if the above happens.

    Hopefully, he will wake up and engage a proper professional to do the job.

  12. #212
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kho King View Post
    Brother in law is not just a relative...he is your brother.

    Of course you can't give a free house, but as a housing agent, you can give free intro/recommendation to which house to buy or rent without taking commission from him.

    It really goes down to what is more important in your life, money or love.
    Hopefully that "free intro/recommendation" is something that he likes, if not the blame may be dumped on you. I'd rather point to other acquaintances who are working professionally in the respective line, so to dispose of the likelihood of blame-shelving, because that's what some people do. It's horrid to get trapped in some recommendation that turns awry. Reminds me a relative who I did computer upgrading works in the past, and when the hard disk died naturally, the finger was pointed at me. Man, it sucks.

  13. #213
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by jOhO View Post
    as for my bother in law, if he was anything like my brother, he can go fly kite.
    Hey Jonathan, don't get caught in the heat... it's "brother in law", not "BOTHER in law"...

    Chill!

  14. #214

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Hi Threadstarter, u seem actually have a mind already, because u simply ignore suggestions tell u not to charge...

    well, show us some pic, let's know how much u should charge, or maybe after u show your photo skills, all people left this thread because.... get a life. if you love your gf, still talk so much..

  15. #215

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by LENS View Post
    Hi Threadstarter, u seem actually have a mind already, because u simply ignore suggestions tell u not to charge...

    well, show us some pic, let's know how much u should charge, or maybe after u show your photo skills, all people left this thread because.... get a life. if you love your gf, still talk so much..
    on the other hand, if gf loves him, she should understand his points and stands ...

    It's a 2 way street. If it's one way, it won't last, then, why even bother.
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  16. #216
    Senior Member Big Kahuna's Avatar
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    On the silver lining, you might be lucky as he already see you as part of the family thus he entrusted you with this mission

    I am a little bit surprise after seeing your reaction, other especialy family members might interpret it as selfish or calculative. Through my experience, in a large family it's very common that we help each other out with our expertise, if you are lucky, you have Dr, lawyer, policeman or even a taxi driver as family member and they will come in handy in different circumstance, nevermind if you have a "pai kia" or gangster in your family, well you might need his service one of this day and you never know, and I am pretty sure that he won't charge you for his service

    So if you want to be part of the big family then no choice, bite the bullet and do it. Perhaps you have to tell him you can only affort the labour but the photo development and processing fees will be on his If not, at the end of the event, quote it as a extra gift from his sister which if your GF, she will definately be very proud of you

  17. #217

    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    I'll never be calculative with my in law.
    I fix up pc, buy stuffs for them, get licensing softwares, network even when I am not really a IT profession when my mother in law asked.
    I do it all for free, and not expect a single cent.
    For my case, my inlaw treat me well, so when they asked me to do things, I don't mind.
    I recently I also did a AD photography for my ex-boss, out of the blue request. Totally not paid 2.
    On your mindset then, you luv your gf alot, n is she exploiting you? Brother in law seem to be but that's secondary. eg. after the event, your gf gives u free massage plenty of kisses, worth it rite?
    Canon EOS 50D 24-105mm f4 L IS 70-200mm f/4 IS L 50mm f/1.8

  18. #218
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by Kho King View Post
    I guess different people have different view. For me, my wife's family is also my family
    Marry ur wife, marry her family, marry her relatives and all that shit that goes along in the sewer pipes as well.

    Glad I'm not married yet. Only accountable to my parents and sisters.
    "Wonders of the Human Mind. Unfathomable to the highest degree."

  19. #219
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Dear all concerned pals,
    Oh, this thread really drags and i still cannot come up with a conclusion.
    I've asked my GF if she likes me to charge her bro or not. She said "of course don't like, its my brother leh"
    Then i tried to share a piece of my mind with her on how i felt being exploited and she don't want to listen much.
    All she said was... Her bro wedding is not here yet, don't want to talk about it first.
    Sigh... i've got mixed feelings. I agreed on both sides when you guys ask me not to take for her bro as i'm being exploited, as well as ask me to take for her bro so that i won't put my gf in a spot.
    Hence, no conclusion for now.

    But i truly appreciate you guys giving me alot of ideas, comments and sharing me with your experiences. If i really reply to every single one of you, this thread will be very long. Thank you pals. Will update again when i've decided.

    Much appreciated.
    palvin
    My dear friend, here's a tip for u:

    It will only cost you $9.80 for a visit to Polyclinic if u're down with diarrhea. And taking extremely spicy food in the morning before u had ur breakfast is sure to guarantee that.

    Keep us updated!
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  20. #220
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    Default Re: Gf's bro wanted my free service.

    Hi Palvin,

    It does not matter if ur gf's bro is stingy, here's my 2 cents worth.

    Evaluate if ur GF's parents thinks along the same line as thr bro, if yes, you are screwed. if no, then do the following:

    When the parents are around, try to bring up what the bro has proposed to you (the free dinner thingy), subtly. Mention that you do not mind taking the pics and it is NOT about money, but is afraid you will spoilt his and the parent's big and important occasion if the pictures do not turn out too well. This will serves couple of purposes, first you gain the moral high ground and is not petty, second, you show that you "care" for the family event and do not want to screw it up. And most important, during the wedding DO give the ang bao, but to the parents. and frankly after marraige you will have little to do with him, but more with your in-laws, which you would have already show that you are the "good" guy.

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