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Thread: Help...

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Help...

    See if he is scared to be MALUed by all his colleagues or not (word sure spread quickly).

    If he still don't pay, staright away look for the manager and even accounts department or other hotel management staff and explain the matter.
    Then maybe after that, everyday colleagues will help remind him & ask if he pay back already or not
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  2. #22
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    Default Re: Help...

    Quote Originally Posted by gryphon View Post
    See if he is scared to be MALUed by all his colleagues or not (word sure spread quickly).

    If he still don't pay, staright away look for the manager and even accounts department or other hotel management staff and explain the matter.
    Then maybe after that, everyday colleagues will help remind him & ask if he pay back already or not
    Er... I think it would take a super thick skin gal to do that... The focus would be on her rather than the ex-bf...

    Can you imagine walking into the office and approaching the receptionist to tell her that you are looking for the accounts dept cause her ex-bf owe her money and she want the company to transfer his pay into her account when the hotel has no right to do that...

  3. #23

    Default Re: Help...

    Quote Originally Posted by westwest1 View Post
    email the hotel top management...
    Actually tot of talk to the HR department in the hotel, but afraid that hotel wont bother about their staffs personal issues. End of the day, we still at the losing end, isnt it?

  4. #24

    Default Re: Help...

    Quote Originally Posted by gryphon View Post
    See if he is scared to be MALUed by all his colleagues or not (word sure spread quickly).

    If he still don't pay, staright away look for the manager and even accounts department or other hotel management staff and explain the matter.
    Then maybe after that, everyday colleagues will help remind him & ask if he pay back already or not
    Think some of his colleagues ordi know, btw, he is the manager of the coffee house in that hotel, and my gf used to work with him before. But he is very thick skin, also he is gemini, so damn smart and con.

  5. #25

    Default Re: Help...

    Hey, guys, really appreciate for all of your kind advises and opinions...

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Help...

    Quote Originally Posted by Suekay View Post
    Actually tot of talk to the HR department in the hotel, but afraid that hotel wont bother about their staffs personal issues. End of the day, we still at the losing end, isnt it?
    Don't assume.

    Hotels value their image ALOT. Though management usually don't get involved with staff's personal issue, if it will lead to an impact (direct or indirect) to the hotel's image & reputation of their staff, u sure bet they will take some form of action. Anyway, if dat bugger's a MANAGER, it makes things even worse.

    Since there's written proof, find a lawyer & see if there's recourse for settlement.

    P/S: Tell ya gf to wise up the next time round. Even if its between bfs & gfs, a loan of well over $500 (not to mention 10x of that) for non life-or-death cases is ridiculous. Don't let love get to one's head.
    "Wonders of the Human Mind. Unfathomable to the highest degree."

  7. #27

    Default Re: Help...

    Quote Originally Posted by jsbn View Post
    Don't assume.

    Hotels value their image ALOT. Though management usually don't get involved with staff's personal issue, if it will lead to an impact (direct or indirect) to the hotel's image & reputation of their staff, u sure bet they will take some form of action. Anyway, if dat bugger's a MANAGER, it makes things even worse.

    Since there's written proof, find a lawyer & see if there's recourse for settlement.

    P/S: Tell ya gf to wise up the next time round. Even if its between bfs & gfs, a loan of well over $500 (not to mention 10x of that) for non life-or-death cases is ridiculous. Don't let love get to one's head.
    ok, noted, thanks for your advise.

  8. #28

    Default Re: Help...

    Ask your gf to inform The New Paper about it. TNP likes to post such kind of real life stories. And the informer may even win a prize! Haha...

    Back to the topic, it may help. In the new few weeks or so, the title "Manager with new car, owes ex-girlfriend money for studying" will be printed on the front page!

  9. #29
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    Default Re: Help...

    Quote Originally Posted by palvin View Post
    Ask your gf to inform The New Paper about it. TNP likes to post such kind of real life stories. And the informer may even win a prize! Haha...

    Back to the topic, it may help. In the new few weeks or so, the title "Manager with new car, owes ex-girlfriend money for studying" will be printed on the front page!
    TNP doesnt do writeups solely on bad debts alone. Else the cover page will be abt bad debts everydae.

  10. #30
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    Default Re: Help...

    Such cases are usually civil suits and the police will not interfere, unless there's criminal intent (which there is none here as this is a personal loan between 2 mutual friends).

    Your friend should get a lawyer to draft a letter of demand for the return of the money. In most cases, the loan defaulter would try to avoid a suit as it would mean alot of time taken for such actions (though your friend must be prepared as well). Much as possible, the loan defaulter and your friend can arrange for an out-of-court settlement, in the presence of your lawyer. This way, instalments can be arranged for payments to be made (in the event the guy is unable to pay upfront).

    In the worst scenario of a civil suit brought before a judge, the costs could be up to $10k, depending on the total time for the suit. The loan defaulter can also be declared a bankrupt with a portion of his monthly pay to be credited to your friend. However, I'd say that minority of the loan defaulter would prefer to declare bankrupt unless they are out-of-job with mountains of debts and have no way out.

    Hope it helps.
    Last edited by Lmodel; 25th November 2006 at 10:37 AM.

  11. #31

    Default Re: Help...

    My suggestion as follows
    1) Work out a repayment system with her Ex. Eg Installment system with interest. In that case he cannot say he dun have $$$

    2) If it does not work, Simply talk at the top of her voice at his work place. Make a din of it ans start crying. If the security guard approach... Make it kown to the guard that the guy tried to cheat her of the $$$ and bring it up to that chap's supervisor. *Revenge is sweet*

  12. #32

    Default Re: Help...

    Quote Originally Posted by Suekay View Post
    Will it works? Will tell her that, but my gf is not the type of thick skin, so dun think she is able to do that. Anyway, thanks again for your kind advise.
    My dear sister Sue, from my own past experiences, seriously speaking, the money is as good as gone!
    As long as there is no written note of the transaction, no one (including the law) can do anything to him and the irony is that the sucker knew this.
    There are only a few other methods (which can prove to be very effective to some ppl) ...
    1. as long as yr gf got "thin skin" she is not going to help herself much. If she is ok, and got the time, just keep going to his workplace and pester him for the return of the loan money and probably get his manager to witness him if he is willing to sign a confirmed loan form if he promise to pay by instalment in return for a peace treaty with her.
    With this written confession, she can always use other methods to get back later.

    2. employ an "ah beng" to go after that loan, but my estimate is that probably 30% - 50% will be expended out before you could even smell his money, and there is no guarantee as well, if he is really broke. The irony is that, if your gf is lucky, he may find her annoying and interrupting if he happens to be doing another round of "playing" with another gullible girl and may even "borrow" money from the next victim, and so able to pay yr gf off. This sort of "boneless" guys are plentiful (as well as countless girls) in our society.... take this as an expensive lesson. They even borrow from guy-friends, if they have a chance.

    3. in this high tech society, and if your friend has a personal blog (if not, why not start one?) why not use the modern technology for help. She could, for instance, tell the stories and reveal his identity to the public and probably even post his photo (if the loan is true, i dont think anyone can fault her). This can prove to be very effective, not so much that he fears losing his face, but so much like he loses his chance to cheat another victim/s.

    4. again, on this blog thingy (this one not so morally nice, but there are many real cases) .... ask yr friend to post a few of her very "charming" photos and "cry for help" .... i am sure that there will be hundred of willing helpers (from oversea as well) who are willing to sponsor her studies, propose to her, date her, etc...

    5. if the only pain she got from him is just a lost love and the $8k and probably some physical self-respect, then thanks God that she is now safe from him or else she might have lost her future home/life/savings/etc... if he has shown his true self many years later ....
    always the Light, .... always.

  13. #33

    Default Re: Help...

    Psychological section: know thyself
    DEBT-COLLECTION professionals estimate that at least 80% of people have terrible problems asking for money. Even if there's no squabble. They just hate asking. They can't stand the idea of walking up to someone and saying, "You owe me such and such, could I have a cheque please?"

    Are you like that? Worse yet: is your credit manager like that? (Many are.)

    Here's a simple test: you're in a queue and someone pushes in. Do you grumble under your breath and let him in? Or do you pipe up and say, "Hey! There's a queue here. Go to the back." Eighty percent or more would let the person push in. The same 80% are the ones that have trouble asking for money (from anyone -- even their own brother).

    If you're honest and think you aren't a natural debt collector, take account of the fact. Hire someone who finds it easy. This is precisely what many debt-collection agencies try to do themselves: pick people who are psychologically right for the job. There's no point in them hiring someone to collect debts if it takes the person half an hour to calm down each time he phones someone.

    And back to you: think of your health. If debt collection rattles you, you won't be able to sleep at night. Is it worth it?


    Little debts owed by individuals
    1. Write them a letter, saying it's unlike them not to pay promptly, and please could you have the money. Use a bit of shame on them.

    2. Keep phoning them, politely but firmly. (Keep threats out of it, but keep records of the calls you make -- they may be useful later.) Just wear down their excuses and hope they'll get tired of it all. By and by, it may seem simpler for them to pay the money.

    3. If a cheque is there (they say) but for some inventive reasons it never gets sent, say you'll send a courier around at 10.45 to pick it up. That often works wonders.

    4. If it seems worth it, send someone from your office around to pick up the cheque. If you can afford to do this, you'll almost always get a cheque this way. (Professional debt collectors favour calling around on Saturday afternoon.)

    WARNING: You'll probably be all right visiting the debtor personally, if you're just offering to pick up the cheque and you don't start making big waves. But if you handle things wrong, there's always some danger of being prosecuted for 'harassment'. A legally minded (or bloody-minded) debtor might try calling the police. True, the police might have better things to do than follow up. But don't ask me to guarantee it.


    Big debts owed by individuals
    1. You can try steps 1 to 3 above. But don't let too much time go by doing that. Instead, go straight to...

    2. Call in to see them. Call in at work, or at home, or wherever you can find them. Not many people can stand the pressure of a personal call. And remember, this is a big debt -- one that's important to collect. The best way is to collect it yourself.

  14. #34

    Default Re: Help...

    Using a lawyer

    As a shock tactic
    YOU CAN TRY asking your lawyer to send the debtor a letter. The idea is to startle the debtor into paying. This sometimes works.

    Sometimes a lawyer is willing to write a letter that begins like this: "We act on behalf of XXX. We are instructed that you are indebted to our client to the amount of $1200."

    And it ends something like this:

    "We advise that if the sum of $1200 is not received by our office within fourteen days of the date hereof, our client will issue proceedings against you for that sum without further notice to you."

    Your lawyer hasn't insisted on knowing what the matter is about. He (or she) just sends out a letter. Even so, a letter like this isn't free. Make sure you know how much it's going to cost. And weigh that against the size of the debt. And think about the psychology of the debtor: is he used to getting letters like this? Will he just shrug?

    If you want to use this technique regularly, you may be able to work out a deal with a lawyer. A bulk rate. But usually you'll get the same kind of reaction you'd get from a doctor if you phoned up and asked for a prescription for double-strength penicillin, without saying what your symptoms were. He'd want you to come in and be examined first. Similarly, lawyers didn't spend all those years in law school to be asked to write letters without getting any background.

    But if you continue to the next step, and get your lawyer to send a summons, that often does the trick -- especially for a debt that's only a couple of thousand dollars. Your expenses have gone up, though: there are some court costs, more lawyer's time, and the cost of getting the summons served. Worse yet, if your lawyer insists on getting stuck into the case and finding out what it's about, you could be up for hundreds of dollars just to get a summons served.

    In short, matters are not always 100% under control, even when you only threaten legal action. If you decide to drive the legal process all the way to the court, your steering wheel can snap off completely.

  15. #35

    Default Re: Help...

    Using a private investigator
    NOT MANY people think of hiring a private investigator to help collect a debt. If you hire one who works freelance, it's not ferociously expensive. These guys can find out anything -- or find anyone (if that's the problem).

    The other thing is they can find out if it's worth chasing a debtor. For say $50 you can find out quite a lot. For $150 you can get a top-line report. You might discover the debtor has a beach cottage no one knew he had. Or a boat. Or some assets in a false name.

    Whatever happens, you'll get back a straight story. You'll find out what the debtor is worth, or you'll find out he's bad news, and not worth chasing further. Very useful information, either way. You can make a sensible decision -- a practical, unemotional, business decision. Go for it, grab the boat. Or forget it, cut your losses.

    Compare this precision -- and economy -- with the costs of blindly 'reaching for a lawyer'. Even ordinary lawyers cost $150 an hour or more. And they can't tell you whether it's worth chasing someone in the courts.

    Common sense will tell you when you should use a private investigator. If you're chasing an individual or small company, and you aren't sure there's any money there, then a private investigator can be just right. But if a big company is stalling about a bill -- or maybe genuinely disputing it -- then you need a lawyer.

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