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Thread: Would you like to write a story

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    I arrived home to find my front door open, as I slowly walked in I saw what looked to be broken glass on the floor. The floorboard creaked as my shadow slithered in the rays of the rivermoon.

    Or was it me stepping on an unused wind up toy that possibly was used to effect unlawful entry into my house? Suddenly an awful thought flashed through my mind, "Ahh! My photographic equipment. Someone or something may have broken in." I squat down to find pieces of fur lying around.

    Following that, I saw a piece of paper with some scribbles on it at a corner of the room.
    Could it be a ransom note I wondered ? No, I realised it was just a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Reaching nervously for my book on 10 great things to do with rubber", the most used item in my personal inventory, hey wait, I hear what seem like a camera shutter from the room upstairs where my studio was located for the time being. I started to slowly make my way towards the top of the stairs.

    Intermittent strobes of light were emanating from the doorsill of the studio, and a cat suddenly tumbled down the stairs while I was climbing up.

    As the cat passed, it metioned me not to go further. Hmmm ??
    Right then, realizing I was still in fancy dress and looking shorter than my normal height, but dressed as an SAS soldier so i thought 'what the hell'. I kept on going, rebelling against that arrogant cat of mine, but looking back, i should have listened to him, for what lied ahead of me was not only hideous, but quite out of focus.

    I took off my wifes reading glasses and frose, staring at one of the protruding
    fangs from a giant bat-like creature standing in my room. "Oh my god! What is that?" I thought to myself. The last thing I saw was a frying pan, a big flash of red light, and everything went dark...

    I woke up on the floor with my face soaked in a puddle of saliva and all I hear was an annoying macarena song in the background. I opened my eyes and saw the cat smiling down at me. "That bat creature was your wife without makeup, you lousy drunk!", the cat said. I wanted to kick the talking cat but I can feel a big throbbing lump above my left ear and my stomach chruning so instead I slowly crawled to the bathroom.

    It seems the macarena is a pirated CD and it got stuck with that damn word over and over again as it encouraged me to puke my guts into the toilet bowl.

    Suddenly there was silence and I then felt a shadow behind me...
    This in itself (feeling a shadow) I put down to my own understanding of the Zone System.

    The feeling grew stronger.

    Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had.
    But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that wierd.

    She pulled out a knife and stabbed me. I died.

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    Suddenly, a transparent angel appeared in front of me and showers glitters on my body..
    I could feel my fingers and feet moving and i slowly picked myself up.. and i went to pull out the knife what stabbed me.

    As much as i tot it would hurt, i felt nothing!
    i cant help but think "have i become a ghost?" and to my dismal, i realised i have turned into a female.. the vital stick is gone!
    Last edited by kcuf2; 11th July 2006 at 05:11 PM.
    09 Oct 09 officially marks the date I become a canon convert.

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female'

  4. #24
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female'

    Drifting effortlessly, I arrived in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror..... WoW, I am beautiful.

    I have become a beautifull Auntie Zarren. One of only two now known to exist.

    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    a stranger puking on the toilet. I pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    it turned out that the man that i stabbed has no form!!! i.e. it is transparent like the hollowman!!!

    my knife passes through him and i fell into the urinal full of puke!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

    wats those yellowish slimy puke~~!~! what on earth did he eat? was it stinky beancurd?
    Last edited by kcuf2; 11th July 2006 at 09:07 PM.
    09 Oct 09 officially marks the date I become a canon convert.

  7. #27
    Senior Member
    Join Date
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    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    Summary:

    I arrived home to find my front door open, as I slowly walked in I saw what looked to be broken glass on the floor. The floorboard creaked as my shadow slithered in the rays of the rivermoon.

    Or was it me stepping on an unused wind up toy that possibly was used to effect unlawful entry into my house? Suddenly an awful thought flashed through my mind, "Ahh! My photographic equipment. Someone or something may have broken in." I squat down to find pieces of fur lying around.

    Following that, I saw a piece of paper with some scribbles on it at a corner of the room.
    Could it be a ransom note I wondered ? No, I realised it was just a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Reaching nervously for my book on 10 great things to do with rubber", the most used item in my personal inventory, hey wait, I hear what seem like a camera shutter from the room upstairs where my studio was located for the time being. I started to slowly make my way towards the top of the stairs.

    Intermittent strobes of light were emanating from the doorsill of the studio, and a cat suddenly tumbled down the stairs while I was climbing up.

    As the cat passed, it metioned me not to go further. Hmmm ??
    Right then, realizing I was still in fancy dress and looking shorter than my normal height, but dressed as an SAS soldier so i thought 'what the hell'. I kept on going, rebelling against that arrogant cat of mine, but looking back, i should have listened to him, for what lied ahead of me was not only hideous, but quite out of focus.

    I took off my wifes reading glasses and frose, staring at one of the protruding
    fangs from a giant bat-like creature standing in my room. "Oh my god! What is that?" I thought to myself. The last thing I saw was a frying pan, a big flash of red light, and everything went dark...

    I woke up on the floor with my face soaked in a puddle of saliva and all I hear was an annoying macarena song in the background. I opened my eyes and saw the cat smiling down at me. "That bat creature was your wife without makeup, you lousy drunk!", the cat said. I wanted to kick the talking cat but I can feel a big throbbing lump above my left ear and my stomach chruning so instead I slowly crawled to the bathroom.

    It seems the macarena is a pirated CD and it got stuck with that damn word over and over again as it encouraged me to puke my guts into the toilet bowl.

    Suddenly there was silence and I then felt a shadow behind me...
    This in itself (feeling a shadow) I put down to my own understanding of the Zone System.

    The feeling grew stronger.

    Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had.
    But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that wierd.

    She pulled out a knife and stabbed me. I died. Suddenly, a transparent angel appeared in front of me and showers glitters on my body..
    I could feel my fingers and feet moving and i slowly picked myself up.. and i went to pull out the knife what stabbed me.

    As much as i tot it would hurt, i felt nothing!
    i cant help but think "have i become a ghost?" and to my dismal, i realised i have turned into a female.. the vital stick is gone!

    I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female'

    Drifting effortlessly, I arrived in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror..... WoW, I am beautiful.

    I have become a beautifull Auntie Zarren. One of only two now known to exist.

    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    a stranger puking on the toilet. I pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

    It turned out that the man that i stabbed has no form!!! i.e. it is transparent like the hollowman!!!

    my knife passes through him and i fell into the urinal full of puke!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

    wats those yellowish slimy puke~~!~! what on earth did he eat? was it stinky beancurd?

  8. #28
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
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    Blue/Green Planet
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    1,854

    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    The feeling grew stronger.

    Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had.
    But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that wierd.

    She pulled out a knife and stabbed me. I died. Suddenly, a transparent angel appeared in front of me and showers glitters on my body..
    I could feel my fingers and feet moving and i slowly picked myself up.. and i went to pull out the knife what stabbed me.

    As much as i tot it would hurt, i felt nothing!
    i cant help but think "have i become a ghost?" and to my dismal, i realised i have turned into a female.. the vital stick is gone!

    I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female'

    Drifting effortlessly, I arrived in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror..... WoW, I am beautiful.

    I have become a beautifull Auntie Zarren. One of only two now known to exist.

    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    a stranger puking on the toilet. I pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

    It turned out that the man that i stabbed has no form!!! i.e. it is transparent like the hollowman!!!

    my knife passes through him and i fell into the urinal full of puke!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

    wats those yellowish slimy puke~~!~! what on earth did he eat? was it stinky beancurd?

    Finding a wash basin I cleaned out my stinging eyes and looked again. Ahh no, it was not a urinal as I thought, but a large tank of photographic chemicals.

    I decided to run from there before I was exposed.

    As I reached the front door, the sound of
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  9. #29

    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    I arrived home to find my front door open, as I slowly walked in I saw what looked to be broken glass on the floor. The floorboard creaked as my shadow slithered in the rays of the rivermoon.

    Or was it me stepping on an unused wind up toy that possibly was used to effect unlawful entry into my house? Suddenly an awful thought flashed through my mind, "Ahh! My photographic equipment. Someone or something may have broken in." I squat down to find pieces of fur lying around.

    Following that, I saw a piece of paper with some scribbles on it at a corner of the room.
    Could it be a ransom note I wondered ? No, I realised it was just a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Reaching nervously for my book on 10 great things to do with rubber", the most used item in my personal inventory, hey wait, I hear what seem like a camera shutter from the room upstairs where my studio was located for the time being. I started to slowly make my way towards the top of the stairs.

    Intermittent strobes of light were emanating from the doorsill of the studio, and a cat suddenly tumbled down the stairs while I was climbing up.

    As the cat passed, it metioned me not to go further. Hmmm ??
    Right then, realizing I was still in fancy dress and looking shorter than my normal height, but dressed as an SAS soldier so i thought 'what the hell'. I kept on going, rebelling against that arrogant cat of mine, but looking back, i should have listened to him, for what lied ahead of me was not only hideous, but quite out of focus.

    I took off my wifes reading glasses and frose, staring at one of the protruding
    fangs from a giant bat-like creature standing in my room. "Oh my god! What is that?" I thought to myself. The last thing I saw was a frying pan, a big flash of red light, and everything went dark...

    I woke up on the floor with my face soaked in a puddle of saliva and all I hear was an annoying macarena song in the background. I opened my eyes and saw the cat smiling down at me. "That bat creature was your wife without makeup, you lousy drunk!", the cat said. I wanted to kick the talking cat but I can feel a big throbbing lump above my left ear and my stomach chruning so instead I slowly crawled to the bathroom.

    It seems the macarena is a pirated CD and it got stuck with that damn word over and over again as it encouraged me to puke my guts into the toilet bowl.

    Suddenly there was silence and I then felt a shadow behind me...
    This in itself (feeling a shadow) I put down to my own understanding of the Zone System.

    The feeling grew stronger.

    Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had. But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that weird.

    She pulled out a knife and stabbed me. I died. Suddenly, a transparent angel appeared in front of me and showers glitters on my body..
    I could feel my fingers and feet moving and i slowly picked myself up.. and i went to pull out the knife what stabbed me.

    As much as i tot it would hurt, i felt nothing!
    i cant help but think "have i become a ghost?" and to my dismal, i realised i have turned into a female.. the vital stick is gone! I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female' Drifting effortlessly, I arrived in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror..... WoW, I am beautiful.

    I have become a beautifull Auntie Zarren. One of only two now known to exist.
    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    a stranger puking on the toilet. I pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

    It turned out that the man that i stabbed has no form!!! i.e. it is transparent like the hollowman!!!my knife passes through him and i fell into the urinal full of puke!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

    What's those yellowish slimy puke~~!~! what on earth did he eat? was it stinky beancurd?
    Finding a wash basin I cleaned out my stinging eyes and looked again. Ahh no, it was not a urinal as I thought, but a large tank of photographic chemicals.

    I decided to run from there before I was exposed.
    As I reached the front door, the Sound of Music movie started playing. So I stopped.

  10. #30
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Clementi, Singapore
    Posts
    2,836

    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    I arrived home to find my front door open, as I slowly walked in I saw what looked to be broken glass on the floor. The floorboard creaked as my shadow slithered in the rays of the rivermoon.

    Or was it me stepping on an unused wind up toy that possibly was used to effect unlawful entry into my house? Suddenly an awful thought flashed through my mind, "Ahh! My photographic equipment. Someone or something may have broken in." I squat down to find pieces of fur lying around.

    Following that, I saw a piece of paper with some scribbles on it at a corner of the room.
    Could it be a ransom note I wondered ? No, I realised it was just a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Reaching nervously for my book on 10 great things to do with rubber", the most used item in my personal inventory, hey wait, I hear what seem like a camera shutter from the room upstairs where my studio was located for the time being. I started to slowly make my way towards the top of the stairs.

    Intermittent strobes of light were emanating from the doorsill of the studio, and a cat suddenly tumbled down the stairs while I was climbing up.

    As the cat passed, it metioned me not to go further. Hmmm ??
    Right then, realizing I was still in fancy dress and looking shorter than my normal height, but dressed as an SAS soldier so i thought 'what the hell'. I kept on going, rebelling against that arrogant cat of mine, but looking back, i should have listened to him, for what lied ahead of me was not only hideous, but quite out of focus.

    I took off my wifes reading glasses and frose, staring at one of the protruding
    fangs from a giant bat-like creature standing in my room. "Oh my god! What is that?" I thought to myself. The last thing I saw was a frying pan, a big flash of red light, and everything went dark...

    I woke up on the floor with my face soaked in a puddle of saliva and all I hear was an annoying macarena song in the background. I opened my eyes and saw the cat smiling down at me. "That bat creature was your wife without makeup, you lousy drunk!", the cat said. I wanted to kick the talking cat but I can feel a big throbbing lump above my left ear and my stomach chruning so instead I slowly crawled to the bathroom.

    It seems the macarena is a pirated CD and it got stuck with that damn word over and over again as it encouraged me to puke my guts into the toilet bowl.

    Suddenly there was silence and I then felt a shadow behind me...
    This in itself (feeling a shadow) I put down to my own understanding of the Zone System.

    The feeling grew stronger.

    Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had. But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that weird.

    She pulled out a knife and stabbed me. I died. Suddenly, a transparent angel appeared in front of me and showers glitters on my body..
    I could feel my fingers and feet moving and i slowly picked myself up.. and i went to pull out the knife what stabbed me.

    As much as i tot it would hurt, i felt nothing!
    i cant help but think "have i become a ghost?" and to my dismal, i realised i have turned into a female.. the vital stick is gone! I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female' Drifting effortlessly, I arrived in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror..... WoW, I am beautiful.

    I have become a beautifull Auntie Zarren. One of only two now known to exist.
    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    a stranger puking on the toilet. I pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

    It turned out that the man that i stabbed has no form!!! i.e. it is transparent like the hollowman!!!my knife passes through him and i fell into the urinal full of puke!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

    What's those yellowish slimy puke~~!~! what on earth did he eat? was it stinky beancurd?
    Finding a wash basin I cleaned out my stinging eyes and looked again. Ahh no, it was not a urinal as I thought, but a large tank of photographic chemicals.

    I decided to run from there before I was exposed.
    As I reached the front door, the Sound of Music movie started playing. So I stopped. Turned around, and ran back inside and sat down on the sofa and had a good sing along untill

  11. #31
    Senior Member Pablo's Avatar
    Join Date
    Sep 2004
    Location
    Blue/Green Planet
    Posts
    1,854

    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    I arrived home to find my front door open, as I slowly walked in I saw what looked to be broken glass on the floor. The floorboard creaked as my shadow slithered in the rays of the rivermoon.

    Or was it me stepping on an unused wind up toy that possibly was used to effect unlawful entry into my house? Suddenly an awful thought flashed through my mind, "Ahh! My photographic equipment. Someone or something may have broken in." I squat down to find pieces of fur lying around.

    Following that, I saw a piece of paper with some scribbles on it at a corner of the room.
    Could it be a ransom note I wondered ? No, I realised it was just a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Reaching nervously for my book on 10 great things to do with rubber", the most used item in my personal inventory, hey wait, I hear what seem like a camera shutter from the room upstairs where my studio was located for the time being. I started to slowly make my way towards the top of the stairs.

    Intermittent strobes of light were emanating from the doorsill of the studio, and a cat suddenly tumbled down the stairs while I was climbing up.

    As the cat passed, it metioned me not to go further. Hmmm ??
    Right then, realizing I was still in fancy dress and looking shorter than my normal height, but dressed as an SAS soldier so i thought 'what the hell'. I kept on going, rebelling against that arrogant cat of mine, but looking back, i should have listened to him, for what lied ahead of me was not only hideous, but quite out of focus.

    I took off my wifes reading glasses and frose, staring at one of the protruding
    fangs from a giant bat-like creature standing in my room. "Oh my god! What is that?" I thought to myself. The last thing I saw was a frying pan, a big flash of red light, and everything went dark...

    I woke up on the floor with my face soaked in a puddle of saliva and all I hear was an annoying macarena song in the background. I opened my eyes and saw the cat smiling down at me. "That bat creature was your wife without makeup, you lousy drunk!", the cat said. I wanted to kick the talking cat but I can feel a big throbbing lump above my left ear and my stomach chruning so instead I slowly crawled to the bathroom.

    It seems the macarena is a pirated CD and it got stuck with that damn word over and over again as it encouraged me to puke my guts into the toilet bowl.

    Suddenly there was silence and I then felt a shadow behind me...
    This in itself (feeling a shadow) I put down to my own understanding of the Zone System.

    The feeling grew stronger.

    Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had. But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that weird.

    She pulled out a knife and stabbed me. I died. Suddenly, a transparent angel appeared in front of me and showers glitters on my body..
    I could feel my fingers and feet moving and i slowly picked myself up.. and i went to pull out the knife what stabbed me.

    As much as i tot it would hurt, i felt nothing!
    i cant help but think "have i become a ghost?" and to my dismal, i realised i have turned into a female.. the vital stick is gone! I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female' Drifting effortlessly, I arrived in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror..... WoW, I am beautiful.

    I have become a beautifull Auntie Zarren. One of only two now known to exist.
    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    a stranger puking on the toilet. I pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

    It turned out that the man that i stabbed has no form!!! i.e. it is transparent like the hollowman!!!my knife passes through him and i fell into the urinal full of puke!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

    What's those yellowish slimy puke~~!~! what on earth did he eat? was it stinky beancurd?
    Finding a wash basin I cleaned out my stinging eyes and looked again. Ahh no, it was not a urinal as I thought, but a large tank of photographic chemicals.

    I decided to run from there before I was exposed.
    As I reached the front door, the Sound of Music movie started playing. So I stopped. Turned around, and ran back inside and sat down on the sofa and had a good sing along untill an advertisment for "Horror Photography Spectacular" came on and a blood soaked hand holding a Box Brownie protruded from
    Time, is an effortless construction :)

  12. #32

    Default Re: Would you like to write a story

    I arrived home to find my front door open, as I slowly walked in I saw what looked to be broken glass on the floor. The floorboard creaked as my shadow slithered in the rays of the rivermoon.

    Or was it me stepping on an unused wind up toy that possibly was used to effect unlawful entry into my house? Suddenly an awful thought flashed through my mind, "Ahh! My photographic equipment. Someone or something may have broken in." I squat down to find pieces of fur lying around.

    Following that, I saw a piece of paper with some scribbles on it at a corner of the room.
    Could it be a ransom note I wondered ? No, I realised it was just a piece of paper with scribbles on it. Reaching nervously for my book on 10 great things to do with rubber", the most used item in my personal inventory, hey wait, I hear what seem like a camera shutter from the room upstairs where my studio was located for the time being. I started to slowly make my way towards the top of the stairs.

    Intermittent strobes of light were emanating from the doorsill of the studio, and a cat suddenly tumbled down the stairs while I was climbing up.

    As the cat passed, it metioned me not to go further. Hmmm ??
    Right then, realizing I was still in fancy dress and looking shorter than my normal height, but dressed as an SAS soldier so i thought 'what the hell'. I kept on going, rebelling against that arrogant cat of mine, but looking back, i should have listened to him, for what lied ahead of me was not only hideous, but quite out of focus.

    I took off my wifes reading glasses and frose, staring at one of the protruding
    fangs from a giant bat-like creature standing in my room. "Oh my god! What is that?" I thought to myself. The last thing I saw was a frying pan, a big flash of red light, and everything went dark...

    I woke up on the floor with my face soaked in a puddle of saliva and all I hear was an annoying macarena song in the background. I opened my eyes and saw the cat smiling down at me. "That bat creature was your wife without makeup, you lousy drunk!", the cat said. I wanted to kick the talking cat but I can feel a big throbbing lump above my left ear and my stomach chruning so instead I slowly crawled to the bathroom.

    It seems the macarena is a pirated CD and it got stuck with that damn word over and over again as it encouraged me to puke my guts into the toilet bowl.

    Suddenly there was silence and I then felt a shadow behind me...
    This in itself (feeling a shadow) I put down to my own understanding of the Zone System.

    The feeling grew stronger.

    Wishing that I had some how entered the wrong house by mistake, I began to slowly realise that I had. But what was my wife doing here without make up and what was that weird.

    She pulled out a knife and stabbed me. I died. Suddenly, a transparent angel appeared in front of me and showers glitters on my body..
    I could feel my fingers and feet moving and i slowly picked myself up.. and i went to pull out the knife what stabbed me.

    As much as i tot it would hurt, i felt nothing!
    i cant help but think "have i become a ghost?" and to my dismal, i realised i have turned into a female.. the vital stick is gone! I pulled out my IC to check. It reads 'Name : Auntie Zaren, Sex: : Female' Drifting effortlessly, I arrived in the bathroom and gazed in the mirror..... WoW, I am beautiful.

    I have become a beautifull Auntie Zarren. One of only two now known to exist.
    As I pondered about my possible exploits with others of CS, I was suddenly disturbed by
    a stranger puking on the toilet. I pulled out a knife and stabbed him.

    It turned out that the man that i stabbed has no form!!! i.e. it is transparent like the hollowman!!!my knife passes through him and i fell into the urinal full of puke!! ARGH!!!!!!!!!

    What's those yellowish slimy puke~~!~! what on earth did he eat? was it stinky beancurd?
    Finding a wash basin I cleaned out my stinging eyes and looked again. Ahh no, it was not a urinal as I thought, but a large tank of photographic chemicals.

    I decided to run from there before I was exposed.
    As I reached the front door, the Sound of Music movie started playing. So I stopped. Turned around, and ran back inside and sat down on the sofa and had a good sing along untill an advertisment for "Horror Photography Spectacular" came on and a blood soaked hand holding a Box Brownie protruded from ceiling. My mouth gaped wide as it placed the Box Brownie on the coffee table. The blood-soaked hand made a beckoning sign. As I moved my head closer to the coffee table, the camera rattled and the most spine-chilling, nerve-wracking music poured forth.

    "When you're alone and life is making you lonely
    You can always go

    Downtown..."

    I knew then that, to accomplish my mission of world peace and the fashion sensibility of Spongebob Squarepants, there was only one place to go:

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