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Thread: World Cup and Women

  1. #1

    Default World Cup and Women

    Received this email, kakkakakak...pretty cool!

    Extremely important advice and recommendations to be passed on to wives, girlfriends, fiancés, mothers, sisters, daughters, etc. (to all women in general) These rules are to be communicated prior to the World Cup in June/July this year...

    LIST OF RULES

    1. From 9th June to 9th July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you willbe looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don’t mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell from the second floor... it wont happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games. In return, you will be allowed to use the TV between 12am and 6am, unless they replay a good game that I missed during the day.

    6. Please, please, please!! if you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say “get over it, its only a game”, or “don’t worry, they’ll win next time”. If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called “words of encouragement” will only lead to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying “one” game, hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to “spend time together”.

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don’t care if I have seen them or I haven’t seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.
    But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

    10. The daily World Cup highlights show on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying “but you have already seen this...why don’t you change the channel to something we can all watch??”, the reply will be: “Refer to Rule #2 of this list”.

    11. And finally, please save your expressions such as “Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years”. I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Premier League, Italian League, Spanish League, etc etc.

    12. Thank you for your co-operation.


  2. #2
    Senior Member +evenstar's Avatar
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    Default Re: World Cup and Women

    eat. drink. shoot

  3. #3
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    Default Re: World Cup and Women

    I posted this on the other thread:

    got a call from my wifey ( aka my CFO ) and she gently but strongly suggested I post the following:

    Man's Messages during World Cup & REPLY BY THE WOMAN ( AS DIRECTED BY MY CFO )

    Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend, aunt, niece, mothers, grandmothers, maids, all women:
    DEAR MAN

    1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.
    1A) THANK GOODNESS FOR THE WORLD CUP!!! SINCE I DON'T READ THE SPORTS SECTION AND I'LL BE IGNORED, I CAN FINALLY TAKE MY OWN SWEET TIME TO GO THROUGH ALL THE SALES ADS AND SINCE YOU DON'T READ THE SALES ADS, I'LL DO THE SAME AND IGNORE YOU AS WELL.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).
    2A) YOU CAN HAVE THE TV SET. I'LL HAVE THE CREDIT CARD, IT IS AFTER ALL, THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE YOU KNOW. UNLIKE YOU, I'LL ALLOW YOU TO HAVE A GLIMPSE OF IT. YOU'LL ALSO HAVE OWNERSHIP OF PART OF IT. THE PART OF IT YOU'LL OWN WILL BE THE BILL.

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.
    3A) NO, I'LL NOT PASS IN FRONT OF THE TV WITH DUE RESPECT TO YOU. I'LL EVEN NOT STAND IN FRONT OF THE TV EVEN WHEN I'M NUDE, AND I SHALL BE NUDE FOR THE FULL 90 MINS OF THE PLAYING GAME AFTER WHICH I'LL NOT REMOVE ANY PCS OF CLOTH ON ME IN YOUR PRESENCE TILL THE END OF THE WORLD CUP. SO DON'T TRY TO TELL ME THAT YOUR TEAM WON THE WORLD CUP AND YOU WANT TO CELEBRATE BY HAVING SOME "SUGER" IN BED. IT WON'T HAPPEN.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.
    4A) OK, I'LL EMPLOY A MAID JUST TO OPEN THE DOOR, ANSWER THE PHONE AND FILL YOUR DRINKS AND TIBITS. IN FACT I'LL EVEN GIVE HER INSTRUCTIONS THAT EVEN IF YOUR BOSS CALL TO CHECK IF YOU'RE REALLY ON MC, SHE'LL JUST SAY THAT YOU'RE WATCHING TV OR STILL SLEEPING DUE TO A LATE NIGHT WATCHING LAST NIGHT'S GAME. THE BABY, I'LL LOOK AFTER MYSELF.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.
    5A) NOT TO MAKE FUNNY FACES TO YOUR FRIENDS, SIX PACKS, THINGS TO NIBBLE ON, ANYTHING ELSE DEAR? DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I'LL GET THEM WHILE OUT SHOPPING WITH MUM/MY GIRLFRIENDS AND PAY SOMEONE TO DELIVER THEM HOME WITH THE REST OF MY SHOPPING WHILE I'M HAVING HIGH TEA/DOING MORE SHOPPING. YOU SURE THAT'S ALL YOU NEED? I'M TOO BUSY SHOPPING TO COOK DINNER YOU KNOW.

    6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.
    6A) SINCE I'LL BE EITHER OUT SHOPPING OR TOO TIRED DUE TO ALL THAT SHOPPING, I'LL NOT HAVE ENOUGH STRENGTH TO TALK TO YOU. I ALSO DO NOT WANT TO DISTRACT YOU FROM YOUR GAME AND LOOK AT MY SHOPPING BILL TILL AFTER THE WORLD CUP.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".
    7A) PLEASE READ ABOVE 6A)

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.
    8A) SURE, NO PROBLEM, I DON'T WANT YOU TO MISS SEEING AGAIN AND AGAIN HOW YOUR TEAM LOST. THAT WOULD BE A CRIME.

    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.
    9A) OK, NOT A PROBLEM SINCE WE'RE OUT SHOPPING MOST OF THE TIME. IN ANY CASE IF WE DO HAVE A GATHERING, WE
    A) DO NOT WANT YOU TO CARE
    B) DO NOT WANT YOU TO KNOW
    C) DO NOT WANT YOU TO COME ALONG


    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.
    10A) YOU GO. I'LL EVEN DRIVE YOU THERE. YOUR FRIEND'S WIFE/GIRLFRIEND/MUM WILL BE OVER AT OUR PLACE PLANING OUR NEXT DAY'S SHOPPING TRIP OR PLAYING MAHJONG. SEE, I'M SO CONSIDERATE, GETTING ALL THE WOMAN OUT OF YOUR WAY.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".
    11A) ONLY ONE RULE FOR ME TO REFER TO? HOW SAD. I'LL GIVE YOU 3, PLEASE REFER TO 6A), 8A) AND 10A).

    12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc.
    12A)

    Thank you for your cooperation.
    NO, I SHOULD BE THANKING YOU.
    NOW GO PAY MY CREDIT CARDS BILLS.


    Lucky I'm not a die hard football fan
    I get paid more shooting part time ...... damn, I should find more time to shoot part time

  4. #4

    Default Re: World Cup and Women

    Quote Originally Posted by +evenstar

    Oh....

  5. #5

    Default Re: World Cup and Women

    What if my mother and sister are the ones watching and I'm the one that does not watch =p
    Furry Photos - Photography for the Modern Pet

  6. #6
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    Default Re: World Cup and Women

    Quote Originally Posted by raptor84
    What if my mother and sister are the ones watching and I'm the one that does not watch =p
    you better stay out of their way!! The combination of mother and sister is a force to be reckon with!!!
    I get paid more shooting part time ...... damn, I should find more time to shoot part time

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