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Thread: Joke: A world cup memo

  1. #1
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    Default Joke: A world cup memo

    Man's Messages during World Cup

    Dear Wife, Partner, Girlfriend, aunt, niece, mothers, grandmothers, maids, all women:

    1. From 9 June to 9 July 2006, you should read the sports section of the newspaper so that you are aware of what is going on regarding the World Cup, and that way you will be able to join in the conversations. If you fail to do this, then you will be looked at in a bad way, or you will be totally ignored. DO NOT complain about not receiving any attention.

    2. During the World Cup, the television is mine, at all times, without any exceptions. If you even take a glimpse of the remote control, you will lose it (your eye).

    3. If you have to pass by in front of the TV during a game, I don't mind, as long as you do it crawling on the floor and without distracting me. If you decide to stand nude in front of the TV, make sure you put clothes on right after because if you catch a cold, I wont have time to take you to the doctor or look after you during the World Cup month.

    4. During the games I will be blind, deaf and mute, unless I require a refill of my drink or something to eat. You are out of your mind if you expect me to listen to you, open the door, answer the telephone, or pick up the baby that just fell on the floor....It won't happen.

    5. It would be a good idea for you to keep at least 2 six packs in the fridge at all times, as well as plenty of things to nibble on, and please do not make any funny faces to my friends when they come over to watch the games.

    6. Please, please, please!! If you see me upset because one of my teams is losing, DO NOT say "get over it, its only a game", or "don't worry, they'll win next time". If you say these things, you will only make me angrier and I will love you less. Remember, you will never ever know more about football than me and your so called "words of encouragement" will only lead to a break up or divorce.

    7. You are welcome to sit with me to watch one game and you can talk to me during halftime but only when the commercials are on, and only if the halftime score is pleasing me. In addition, please note I am saying "one" game; hence do not use the World Cup as a nice cheesy excuse to "spend time together".

    8. The replays of the goals are very important. I don't care if I have seen them or I haven't seen them, I want to see them again. Many times.

    9. Tell your friends NOT to have any babies, or any other child related parties or gatherings that requires my attendance because:
    a) I will not go,
    b) I will not go, and
    c) I will not go.

    10. But, if a friend of mine invites us to his house on a Sunday to watch a game, we will be there in a flash.

    11. The daily World Cup highlights shown on TV every night is just as important as the games themselves. Do not even think about saying "but you have already seen this...why don't you change the channel to something we can all watch?" because, the reply will be, "Refer to Rule #2 of this list".

    12. And finally, please save your expressions such as "Thank God the World Cup is only every 4 years". I am immune to these words, because after this comes the Champions League, Italian League, Spanish League, Premier League, FA Cup, etc.

    Thank you for your cooperation.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    This is not a joke...

  3. #3
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by HotSpots
    This is not a joke...
    nope. Some people believe football is a matter of life and death... I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.

    in fact, in holland the ladies are starting a 'women against world cup' club or something like dat. think it was in yesterday's papers...
    If Life worked on auto mode then manual mode for photography would have never existed. ― Deeksha Mittal

  4. #4

    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Holland will win the world cup. This is also not a joke.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by HotSpots
    Holland will win the world cup. This is also not a joke.
    They do have a very good team

  6. #6
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    I prefer France to win.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Its England all the way for me!

  8. #8

    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by wildstallion
    Its England all the way for me!
    England's manager IMHO IMHO IMHO is ting tong liao
    BRAZIL..will win for sure

  9. #9
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by HotSpots
    This is not a joke...
    this is a very serious joke

  10. #10
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    This is no joke

    Gremany will win

  11. #11
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Dunno much abt soccer except the fact there are 11 players from each team, 5 guys in black running all over the field.

    But one thing for sure, BRAZIL WILL WIN!!!!
    "Wonders of the Human Mind. Unfathomable to the highest degree."

  12. #12
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    this is no joke, bookies will win

  13. #13

    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    I not laffing...

    Sianz.. wasted 3 mins..

    .

  14. #14
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by AReality
    I not laffing...

    Sianz.. wasted 3 mins..

    .
    you probably wasted somemore time replying as well

  15. #15

    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    singapore will win!

    ...oh wait, wrong cup

  16. #16
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by jsbn
    Dunno much abt soccer except the fact there are 11 players from each team, 5 guys in black running all over the field.

    But one thing for sure, BRAZIL WILL WIN!!!!

    ehh who are the 5 guys in black? quite scary to watch a match with 5 guys in black running all over.

  17. #17

    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Jia Liat ..
    AMPA * WPPI * J team

  18. #18
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by nightwolf75
    nope. Some people believe football is a matter of life and death... I can assure you it is much, much more important than that.

    in fact, in holland the ladies are starting a 'women against world cup' club or something like dat. think it was in yesterday's papers...
    orrrr..... you quote from the famous bill shankley and never give him credit.....

  19. #19
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by idor
    orrrr..... you quote from the famous bill shankley and never give him credit.....
    muaahhaaaa... so far, u're the 1st one to know who said it! true-blue soccer fan and/or liverpool fan.
    If Life worked on auto mode then manual mode for photography would have never existed. ― Deeksha Mittal

  20. #20
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    Default Re: Joke: A world cup memo

    Quote Originally Posted by seanlim
    England's manager IMHO IMHO IMHO is ting tong liao
    BRAZIL..will win for sure
    I dont know what 'ting tong liao' means, but knowing the current England manager id probably agree with you!

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