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Thread: Heaven & Hell

  1. #1
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    Smile Heaven & Hell

    One day while walking downtown, a Human Resources woman was hit by a bus and was tragically killed.

    Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an HR manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

    "No problem, just let me in" said the woman.

    "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in" the Saint replied.

    "Actually, I think I've made up my mind.....I prefer to stay in Heaven".

    "Sorry, we have rules....."

    And with that St. Peter put the HR manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the HR manager found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow HR professionals that she had worked with. They were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute), and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. The HR manager was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates there St.Peter was waiting for her.

    "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven" he said.

    So the HR manager spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity" he said.

    The HR manager paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the consultant went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her and laughed at her.

    "I don't understand," stammered the HR manager, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

    The Devil looked at her and grinned, “That’s because yesterday we were recruiting you, but today you're staff.”
    除了爱, 我一无所有

  2. #2
    Senior Member
    Join Date
    Aug 2005
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    Local
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    1,609

    Default Re: Heaven & Hell

    Quote Originally Posted by Ola
    One day while walking downtown, a Human Resources woman was hit by a bus and was tragically killed.

    Her soul arrived up in heaven where she was met at the Pearly Gates by St. Peter himself. "Welcome to Heaven," said St. Peter. Before you get settled in though, it seems we have a problem. You see, strangely enough, we’ve never once had an HR manager make it this far and we're not really sure what to do with you."

    "No problem, just let me in" said the woman.

    "Well, I'd like to, but I have higher orders. What we're going to do is let you have a day in Hell and a day in Heaven and then you can choose whichever one you want to spend an eternity in" the Saint replied.

    "Actually, I think I've made up my mind.....I prefer to stay in Heaven".

    "Sorry, we have rules....."

    And with that St. Peter put the HR manager in an elevator and it went down-down-down to Hell. The doors opened and the HR manager found herself stepping out onto the putting green of a beautiful golf course. In the distance was a country club and standing in front of her were all her friends - fellow HR professionals that she had worked with. They were all dressed in evening gowns and cheering for her. They ran up and kissed her on both cheeks and they talked about old times. They played an excellent round of golf and at night went to the country club where she enjoyed an excellent steak and lobster dinner. She met the Devil who was actually a really nice guy (kinda cute), and she had a great time telling jokes and dancing. The HR manager was having such a good time that before she knew it, it was time to leave. Everybody shook her hand and waved good-bye as she got on the elevator. The elevator went up-up-up and opened back up at the Pearly Gates there St.Peter was waiting for her.

    "Now it's time to spend a day in Heaven" he said.

    So the HR manager spent the next 24 hours lounging around on the clouds and playing the harp and singing. She had a great time and before she knew it, her 24 hours were up and St. Peter came and got her. "So, you've spent a day in Hell and you've spent a day in Heaven. Now you must choose your eternity" he said.

    The HR manager paused for a second and then replied, "Well, I never thought I'd say this. I mean, Heaven has been really great and all, but I think I had a better time in Hell." So St. Peter escorted her to the elevator and again the consultant went down-down-down back to Hell. When the doors of the elevator opened she found herself standing in a desolate wasteland covered in garbage and filth. She saw her friends were dressed in rags and were picking up garbage and putting it in sacks for the evening meal. The Devil came up to her and put his arm around her and laughed at her.

    "I don't understand," stammered the HR manager, "yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and a country club and we ate lobster and we danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland of garbage and all my friends look miserable."

    The Devil looked at her and grinned, “That’s because yesterday we were recruiting you, but today you're staff.”
    nb..hahahahahahaha....your HR joke huh..

  3. #3

    Default Re: Heaven & Hell

    Have heard this one before, contents exactly the same, but the HR Manager was Bill Gates.

    And the devils answer when questioned by Bill Gates about the difference between Heaven and Hell was, "That was Hell 3.2, but this is Hell 95/98/Millenium/XP"

  4. #4
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: Heaven & Hell

    Hmm... Heaven & Hell. I suppose its on Earth & within urself. Not 2 seperate entities.

    But anyway, good for laugh to kickstart the day.
    "Wonders of the Human Mind. Unfathomable to the highest degree."

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