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Thread: Helpdesk jokes!!

  1. #21
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by hwchoy
    how you know it was a grey bar huh? sekali he use some themes and the bar was green siaz.
    Kinda figured if I'm lucky, the user would be too stupid to even know how to change colours.

  2. #22
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ninelives
    the help desk is not serving 50 or 100 persons, but they are serving 3000-10000 persons. the helpdesk is run by 10 persons. With 10 persons only, they can't possibly handle so many calls.

    So....that explained why line was busy.
    The line is not busy, it rings but no one answer, I suspect everyone go inside the server room because the aircon is better there...

  3. #23
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Astin
    The line is not busy, it rings but no one answer, I suspect everyone go inside the server room because the aircon is better there...
    Well, better than listening to 20 mins of Starhub Maxonline advertisment jingles till you get through just to find out the helpdesk people can't help.

  4. #24

    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Didn't know we have so many helpdesk people in CS. Now I know why can never get them on the phone....cause busy with CS.

  5. #25
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    How about this, happen during my contract job at the callcenter of X company

    me: Good morning, X company, How may I help you
    c: err, is this Y company?
    me: sorry sir, this is X company
    C: oh, can tranfer me over?
    Me: sorry sir, we are not the same company, I'm unable to help you to tranfer your line over
    C: aiya, you all in the same trade one mah, why cannot. call you all very difficult one leh, wait for so long.
    me: Sorry sir, I'm really unable to help you.
    C: err what the number to Y company.
    me: Sorry sir, we do not have the number
    C: what kind of service is this, number also don't have. What your direct line? HP also can.

    <I'm find it very funny le, why he want my phone number. Somemore my company policy is cannot hangup caller line>

    C: You free in the afternoon? Maybe we can talk face to face. What your address?

    In the end he talk load of crap to me until he is happy then he say

    c: aiya, don't disturb you le. I call next time.

  6. #26
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by clarinet
    How about this, happen during my contract job at the callcenter of X company

    me: Good morning, X company, How may I help you
    c: err, is this Y company?
    me: sorry sir, this is X company
    C: oh, can tranfer me over?
    Me: sorry sir, we are not the same company, I'm unable to help you to tranfer your line over
    C: aiya, you all in the same trade one mah, why cannot. call you all very difficult one leh, wait for so long.
    me: Sorry sir, I'm really unable to help you.
    C: err what the number to Y company.
    me: Sorry sir, we do not have the number
    C: what kind of service is this, number also don't have. What your direct line? HP also can.

    <I'm find it very funny le, why he want my phone number. Somemore my company policy is cannot hangup caller line>

    C: You free in the afternoon? Maybe we can talk face to face. What your address?

    In the end he talk load of crap to me until he is happy then he say

    c: aiya, don't disturb you le. I call next time.


    you must sound very sweet on the phone. what's your number hah?

    eh, just kidding

  7. #27

    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    wah! you talk to user like that (the last few lines), he/she got complain to your superior or not. Helpdesk support is a service sector, have to be polite to user regardless of what ignorant users give you. I know some users are damn unreasonable, but if you want to work in this line then you have to adjust yourself to this line.


    Quote Originally Posted by sykestang
    My 2nd encounter...

    ME: "Helpdesk... may I help you?"
    C: "My excel got problem. Can you come and help me?"

    ... 2min later when I am at the user station...

    ME: "Nope no prob... your excel is running... what's the problem?"
    C: "I don't seems to be able to see the data I keyed yesterday in the file"

    ... User opened a Excel spreadsheet... All data intact.

    ME: ...angry... "What data is missing that you cannot see?"
    C: "I cannot see beyond the J column... yesterday I type until P column"

    ME: ...angry and flustrated... Drag the horizontal scroll bar to column P... "Ok what. Your column P is still there what!"
    C: "A.... how did you do it? How about the data below?"

    ME: ...very angry and flustrated... Drag the vertical scroll bar to the lower rows... "Your data is still here!"
    C: ...Argue Tone... "But last time I open this file, I can see everything on the screen. Can I see everything on the screen"

    ME: ...very very angry... "That is because you have not type in so much data!!! Is this your first day using Excel?"

    ...flustrated and click on the menu 'Tools -> Zoom -> 25%'...

    "Now you see everything damn thing on 1 screen, but I don't know how you going to read it, use a magnifying glass maybe... And stop disturbing me anymore!!!"


    '... Another one of those idiot!!!...'
    Last edited by Piper; 22nd October 2005 at 09:09 AM.

  8. #28
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by hwchoy
    you must sound very sweet on the phone. what's your number hah?

    eh, just kidding
    How I hope I got a sweet voice

  9. #29
    Senior Member azul123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Caller: I installed a bunch of CD's, but the programs are missing.
    Helpdesk: Was the CD Rom drive working??

    Caller: Yes, I installed the CD's
    Helpdesk: Well, let me install one with you to make sure you're doing it right. Open your CD Rom Drive.

    Caller: My what??
    Helpdesk: Your Cd Rom drive - push the button.

    Caller: I don't know what you mean??
    Helpdesk: Well, how did you install the CD's?

    Caller: I just pushed them in the slot.
    Helpdesk: And where are they now?

    Caller: I don't know - in the machine I guess.
    Helpdesk: Ummm, will you please gently tilt your tower

    Caller: *tilts tower - sound of falling Cd's*

    Ok, you get the point - the caller was shoving her CD's in one of the little cracks between the front panels on her computer, and they just fell inside. She thought she was "installing" them. When the computer was opened, there were over 20 cd's inside.

    The scary part is, she actually EARNED enough money to buy a computer. Somebody PAYS her for something. Disturbing.

    ../azul123

  10. #30
    Senior Member azul123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Customer: "I've been ringing 0700 2300 for two days and can't get through to enquiries, can you help?".
    Operator: "Where did you get that number from, sir?".

    Customer: "It was on the door to the Travel Centre".
    Operator: "Sir, they are our opening hours".



    ../azul123

  11. #31
    Senior Member azul123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Well... it's a bad day today, so had to bring out some jokes.

    ../azul123

  12. #32
    Senior Member azul123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"

    Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"

    "The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".

    Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"

    Ah Beng got the job. Damn!

    ../azul123

  13. #33

    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by azul123 View Post
    Ah Beng went for an job interview for a sales job. When the manager saw Ah Beng's colourful attire, his mind screamed, "Not this man!!"

    Nevertheless he still had to entertain Ah Beng. So he told Ah Beng, "If you can form a sentence using the words I give you, then I will give you a chance!"

    "The words are "Green, Pink, Yellow, Blue, White, Purple, Black".

    Ah Beng thought for a while and said "I heard the phone go green, green, and then I went to pink up the phone and said Yellow. Blue's that? White did you say? Aiyah, wrong number. Don't purplely disturb people and don't call Black, ok?"

    Ah Beng got the job. Damn!

    ../azul123
    lol! best!
    It is such a quiet thing to fall,
    But far more terrible is to admit it

  14. #34
    Senior Member redstone's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by azul123 View Post
    Caller: I installed a bunch of CD's, but the programs are missing.
    Helpdesk: Was the CD Rom drive working??

    Caller: Yes, I installed the CD's
    Helpdesk: Well, let me install one with you to make sure you're doing it right. Open your CD Rom Drive.

    Caller: My what??
    Helpdesk: Your Cd Rom drive - push the button.

    Caller: I don't know what you mean??
    Helpdesk: Well, how did you install the CD's?

    Caller: I just pushed them in the slot.
    Helpdesk: And where are they now?

    Caller: I don't know - in the machine I guess.
    Helpdesk: Ummm, will you please gently tilt your tower

    Caller: *tilts tower - sound of falling Cd's*

    Ok, you get the point - the caller was shoving her CD's in one of the little cracks between the front panels on her computer, and they just fell inside. She thought she was "installing" them. When the computer was opened, there were over 20 cd's inside.

    The scary part is, she actually EARNED enough money to buy a computer. Somebody PAYS her for something. Disturbing.

    ../azul123
    That's freaky.

  15. #35
    Senior Member zac08's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Tech support : "Use the CD-ROM. Push the button and the tray will eject."

    User : "You mean the cup holder thingy??"

    Michael Lim
    My Flickr Site

  16. #36

    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by azul123 View Post

    Ok, you get the point - the caller was shoving her CD's in one of the little cracks between the front panels on her computer, and they just fell inside. She thought she was "installing" them. When the computer was opened, there were over 20 cd's inside.

    The scary part is, she actually EARNED enough money to buy a computer. Somebody PAYS her for something. Disturbing.

    ../azul123
    some CD-ROM is slot in one, dont have tray one.

    for exmaple this one :
    Last edited by ninelives; 15th September 2008 at 07:28 PM.
    Objection !!!

  17. #37
    Senior Member azul123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ninelives View Post
    some CD-ROM is slot in one, dont have tray one.

    for exmaple this one :
    Joke maybe from 2000?

    ../azul123

  18. #38

    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by azul123 View Post
    Joke maybe from 2000?

    ../azul123
    even at year 2000 there's already such kind of cd-rom.

    i'm in this line for about 10 years :P
    Objection !!!

  19. #39
    Senior Member azul123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ninelives View Post
    even at year 2000 there's already such kind of cd-rom.

    i'm in this line for about 10 years :P
    Then 1980, it's just a joke lah, lighten up lah.

    ../azul123

  20. #40
    Senior Member azul123's Avatar
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    Default Re: Helpdesk jokes!!

    Tech: May I help you?
    Client: "Yes, well, I'm having trouble with this program."

    Tech: "What sort of trouble?"
    Client: "Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words went away."

    Tech: "Went away?"
    Client: "They disappeared."

    Tech: "Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?"
    Client: "Nothing."

    Tech: "Nothing?"
    Client: "It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type."

    Tech: "Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?"
    Client: "How do I tell?"

    Tech: "Can you see the C: prompt on the screen?"
    Client:"What's a sea-prompt?"

    Tech: "Never mind. Can you move the cursor around on the screen?"
    Client: "There isn't any cursor: I told you, it won't accept anything I type."

    Tech: "Does your monitor have a power indicator?"
    Client: "What's a monitor?"

    Tech: "It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV. Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?"
    Client: "I don't know."

    Tech: "Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that?"
    Client: "Yes, I think so."

    Tech: "Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's plugged into the wall."
    Client: ".......Yes, it is."

    Tech: "When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not just one?"
    Client: "No."

    Tech: "Well, there are. I need you to look back there again and find the other cable."
    Client: "....... Okay, here it is."

    Tech: "Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely into the back of your Computer."
    Client: "I can't reach."

    Tech: "Uh huh. Well, can you see if it is?"
    Client: "No."

    Tech: "Even if you maybe put your knee on something and lean way over?"
    Client: "Oh, it's not because I don't have the right angle - it's because it's dark."

    Tech: "Dark?"
    Client: "Yes...the office light is off, and the only light I have is coming in from the window."

    Tech: "Well, turn on the office light then."
    Client: "I can't."

    Tech: "No? Why not?"
    Client: "Because there's a power outage."

    This must be from a joke in the 80's or something so don't get technical just enjoy lah. C: prompt? who sees that anymore?
    ../azul123

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