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Thread: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

  1. #41

    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    45) my camera is so compact and it has a 10x zoom, those big camera of yours never tell how many Xs it has got, isn't it patheic

  2. #42

    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    46) DSLR for you? think again.. aperture, shutter speed, asa, flash lighting, dpi, awb, ae-lock, raw, etc, etc, etc, etc... k go ahead if you can take it, but remember in compact camera u only have to press one button.

  3. #43

    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    47) I'll wait for the next version of sony ericsson w800 before comparing it with a DSLR.

  4. #44

    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    48) Body only!? does it mean it's incomplete, does it mean i cant start taking pictures.. well, wat else do i need?

  5. #45

    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    49) Where to repair my camera, those Tv (television), Av (audio and visual) and M (movie) mode always gives me funny pictures instead?

  6. #46

    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    50) I m getting one, cause i know a professional photographer mean a photographer with a professional camera.







  7. #47
    Moderator ortega's Avatar
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    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    why no live preview during composition? grrr...
    taken from an actual question posted in another tread

  8. #48
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    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    updated list - do add some more!!

    1) you CANNOT aim thru the LCD screen in a DSLR...
    2) you CANNOT take movies with ur DSLR (no... 'M' is not movie mode. see below for definition)
    3) to be a real professional cameraman, use "P" mode (as in "Professional" mode)
    4) you DO NOT need VR/IS in your lens... after all, at f22, everything shld be sharp
    5) the standard setting for any pic to get the most perfect results - ISO1600, 1/4000sec, f22, mount on tripod (perferably Manfrotto 055 tripod and tie a brick to the center column and use MC-30 remote to trigger the shutter and mirror lock-up...phew...)
    6) no... by turning to AV mode doesn't make a Jap actress appear in ur viewfinder
    7) To take nice pictures, turn to "S". Sure to give you "swee" pictures.
    8) Remember to set camera to AF-C all the time... to give u "All Frame Chio" Pics
    9) btw... u do not cut ur film into little squares to stuff into the little slot marked 'CF'...
    10) for super sharp, super colours etc... pics, use 'M' mode. after all, 'M' stands for 'mou tuck teng'.... rite?
    11) how come no zoom in zoom out button??
    12) yes u need to buy a lens to shoot
    13) How much total Zoom can I get? (Digital + Optical)
    14) how come the QC so lousy, the lens can drop off?
    15) WHAT? Flash sold seperately?
    16) Why is the camera so big? Not smaller the better mah? Cannot put into pocket like credit card. Sian.
    17) Good pictures = sharp pictures.
    18) This small camera 7MP and so cheap! Your big camera 4MP and so expensive! Hahaha...
    19) My pictures from my small camera better den yours cos I no need to photoshop.
    20) Real professionals use film, cos cannot manipulate the image. Only lousy photographers use digital and photoshop, cos u can manipulate the image
    21) No, Kenko does not produce 3x teleconverter.
    22) Does it come in pink or blue?
    23) More megapixel better! The picture sharper! (and those $100 cameras boasting 100MPs beats 1DsMkII flat down. *sob*)
    24) This prosumer camera damn nice leh, but too big and heavy (the chap who said this ain't seeing nothin' yet... of pro-series SLRs, MFs and LFs)
    25) 1st minute: "Can shoot can liao". 2nd minute: "Aiyah, why dis one so lousy cannot do this har?"
    26)8mp DSLR on auto mode produces better picture with a cheap lens than a prosumer on auto mode with Carl-Zeiss lens.
    27)When shooting at night, must use flash to brighted up the subject, even if shooting a night scene of cars on ECP
    28) All lenses that the salesman recommend should be good
    29) why you need a tripod??? my camera while dancing and shaking can also take sharp pictures
    30) ISO = Image Stabliser ON
    31) wah lau eh... i pay so much $$$ for _____ (fill in the blank for any pro-body) and it doesn't even have a pop-up flash!! so lousy...
    32) Why everybody use black color DSLRs? Why not use silver one? More stylo mah...
    33) How do you turn off the irritating "chick chak" sound when taking photographs?
    34) This is not a video camera. It is an SLR camera.
    35) Yes. u need to buy a electric dry cabinet for ur DSLR and lenses.
    36) No... u can't get rid of fungus by (a)putting them in the sun or (b)exposing them to X-ray... if u can find a X-ray machine....
    37) No... a 1.5 or 1.6 crop factor doesn't magically make ur 50mm lens into a 75mm or 80mm lens...
    38) (Overheard at John 3:16) "What?! $200 for a flash?! This has got to be the most expensive flash in the whole world!!" (and the person who exclaimed this bought a goldfish for like... USD$500?)
    39) No need to read your Camera Manual or photography books. Just join Clubsnap and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask. Plus repeat that same questions in other thread for more effective result as well.
    40) How come got slot for memory card, budden camera body cannot open put film 1.
    41) yes, I don't need dslr but I bought one because my parents are rich and because I want to look PRO. But yes, I am not.
    42) how come some weird pple use black colour camera with white colour lens, how can i trust sure photographer to produce results when they dont even have a sense of good colour combination?
    43) whaa! 8 mps so big, you look at my new 8 mps here.. you buy how long already?
    44) film is for old pple who doesnt knows computing, my dad use film.
    45) why being more expensive but still lack of the ( W | T ) feature button for me to zoom my len automatically?
    46) putting my eye through the viewfinder also ruin my makeup, (mascara, foundation, eye liner and sometimes lipstick), how do i turn on the LCD to prevent that?
    47) my camera is so compact and it has a 10x zoom, those big camera of yours never tell how many Xs it has got, isn't it patheic
    48) I'll wait for the next version of sony ericsson w800 before comparing it with a DSLR.
    49) Body only!? does it mean it's incomplete, does it mean i cant start taking pictures.. well, wat else do i need?
    50) Where to repair my camera, those Tv (television), Av (audio and visual) and M (movie) mode always gives me funny pictures instead?
    51) I'm getting one, cause i know a professional photographer mean a photographer with a professional camera.
    52) why no live preview during composition? grrr...
    53) wah... how come ur DSLR cannot do MMS? my hp can wat....

    come come.. more 'gems' for noobies!!
    If Life worked on auto mode then manual mode for photography would have never existed. ― Deeksha Mittal

  9. #49
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    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    (external flash pointed 90degrees up with omnibounce attached,shooting outdoors)aiyo...how come the light nvr get bounced onto my subject!cheat my money!

  10. #50
    Moderator ortega's Avatar
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    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    Quote Originally Posted by JediForce4ever
    (external flash pointed 90degrees up with omnibounce attached,shooting outdoors)aiyo...how come the light nvr get bounced onto my subject!cheat my money!
    muhahahahah you're

  11. #51
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    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    why my cheaper prosumer got IS but my DSLR so expensive and no IS??(not referring to KM)

  12. #52
    Moderator nightwolf75's Avatar
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    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    updated list - do add some more!!

    1) you CANNOT aim thru the LCD screen in a DSLR...
    2) you CANNOT take movies with ur DSLR (no... 'M' is not movie mode. see below for definition)
    3) to be a real professional cameraman, use "P" mode (as in "Professional" mode)
    4) you DO NOT need VR/IS in your lens... after all, at f22, everything shld be sharp
    5) the standard setting for any pic to get the most perfect results - ISO1600, 1/4000sec, f22, mount on tripod (perferably Manfrotto 055 tripod and tie a brick to the center column and use MC-30 remote to trigger the shutter and mirror lock-up...phew...)
    6) no... by turning to AV mode doesn't make a Jap actress appear in ur viewfinder
    7) To take nice pictures, turn to "S". Sure to give you "swee" pictures.
    8) Remember to set camera to AF-C all the time... to give u "All Frame Chio" Pics
    9) btw... u do not cut ur film into little squares to stuff into the little slot marked 'CF'...
    10) for super sharp, super colours etc... pics, use 'M' mode. after all, 'M' stands for 'mou tuck teng'.... rite?
    11) how come no zoom in zoom out button??
    12) yes u need to buy a lens to shoot
    13) How much total Zoom can I get? (Digital + Optical)
    14) how come the QC so lousy, the lens can drop off?
    15) WHAT? Flash sold seperately?
    16) Why is the camera so big? Not smaller the better mah? Cannot put into pocket like credit card. Sian.
    17) Good pictures = sharp pictures.
    18) This small camera 7MP and so cheap! Your big camera 4MP and so expensive! Hahaha...
    19) My pictures from my small camera better den yours cos I no need to photoshop.
    20) Real professionals use film, cos cannot manipulate the image. Only lousy photographers use digital and photoshop, cos u can manipulate the image
    21) No, Kenko does not produce 3x teleconverter.
    22) Does it come in pink or blue?
    23) More megapixel better! The picture sharper! (and those $100 cameras boasting 100MPs beats 1DsMkII flat down. *sob*)
    24) This prosumer camera damn nice leh, but too big and heavy (the chap who said this ain't seeing nothin' yet... of pro-series SLRs, MFs and LFs)
    25) 1st minute: "Can shoot can liao". 2nd minute: "Aiyah, why dis one so lousy cannot do this har?"
    26)8mp DSLR on auto mode produces better picture with a cheap lens than a prosumer on auto mode with Carl-Zeiss lens.
    27)When shooting at night, must use flash to brighted up the subject, even if shooting a night scene of cars on ECP
    28) All lenses that the salesman recommend should be good
    29) why you need a tripod??? my camera while dancing and shaking can also take sharp pictures
    30) ISO = Image Stabliser ON
    31) wah lau eh... i pay so much $$$ for _____ (fill in the blank for any pro-body) and it doesn't even have a pop-up flash!! so lousy...
    32) Why everybody use black color DSLRs? Why not use silver one? More stylo mah...
    33) How do you turn off the irritating "chick chak" sound when taking photographs?
    34) This is not a video camera. It is an SLR camera.
    35) Yes. u need to buy a electric dry cabinet for ur DSLR and lenses.
    36) No... u can't get rid of fungus by (a)putting them in the sun or (b)exposing them to X-ray... if u can find a X-ray machine....
    37) No... a 1.5 or 1.6 crop factor doesn't magically make ur 50mm lens into a 75mm or 80mm lens...
    38) (Overheard at John 3:16) "What?! $200 for a flash?! This has got to be the most expensive flash in the whole world!!" (and the person who exclaimed this bought a goldfish for like... USD$500?)
    39) No need to read your Camera Manual or photography books. Just join Clubsnap and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask and ask. Plus repeat that same questions in other thread for more effective result as well.
    40) How come got slot for memory card, budden camera body cannot open put film 1.
    41) yes, I don't need dslr but I bought one because my parents are rich and because I want to look PRO. But yes, I am not.
    42) how come some weird pple use black colour camera with white colour lens, how can i trust sure photographer to produce results when they dont even have a sense of good colour combination?
    43) whaa! 8 mps so big, you look at my new 8 mps here.. you buy how long already?
    44) film is for old pple who doesnt knows computing, my dad use film.
    45) why being more expensive but still lack of the ( W | T ) feature button for me to zoom my len automatically?
    46) putting my eye through the viewfinder also ruin my makeup, (mascara, foundation, eye liner and sometimes lipstick), how do i turn on the LCD to prevent that?
    47) my camera is so compact and it has a 10x zoom, those big camera of yours never tell how many Xs it has got, isn't it patheic
    48) I'll wait for the next version of sony ericsson w800 before comparing it with a DSLR.
    49) Body only!? does it mean it's incomplete, does it mean i cant start taking pictures.. well, wat else do i need?
    50) Where to repair my camera, those Tv (television), Av (audio and visual) and M (movie) mode always gives me funny pictures instead?
    51) I'm getting one, cause i know a professional photographer mean a photographer with a professional camera.
    52) why no live preview during composition? grrr...
    53) wah... how come ur DSLR cannot do MMS? my hp can wat....
    54) wah... how come my DSLR dun come with a radio station/coffee blender/etc... one... my 100-in-1 camera got leh, and cost only $100!
    55) (external flash pointed 90degrees up with omnibounce attached,shooting outdoors)aiyo...how come the light nvr get bounced onto my subject!cheat my money! (this is evil... but i like!)
    56) why my cheaper prosumer got IS but my DSLR so expensive and no IS??(not referring to KM)

    come come.. more 'gems' for noobies!!
    If Life worked on auto mode then manual mode for photography would have never existed. ― Deeksha Mittal

  13. #53
    Senior Member
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    Default Re: *A seriously tongue-in-cheek* Noobie guide to your first DSLR

    This... just heard. Can't verify but...

    57) Part 1: I don't want DSLR, so big leh...
    Part 2: S2 looks good but no hotshoe...
    Part 3: I want small body, more megapixel...
    Part 4: I heard dat the Sony one is good. 8megapixel leh... Plus got hotshoe
    Part 5: This D50 looks good, anti-shake and all.....
    Part 6: Yet to come....

    p/s: if the owner of the remark knew how much VR lens + constant aperture lens costs, he wun be thinking of SLR systems.
    "Wonders of the Human Mind. Unfathomable to the highest degree."

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