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Thread: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

  1. #1

    Default "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    THis is one of, if not THE, most well-composed and well-considered replies I have ever ever hear of..if only the AVERAGE Singaporean girl thinks this way (which requires going thru a certain self-maturity process I am quite concern)..

    Don't blame the other woman if he strays
    Letter from MRS LAM

    In "Stay away from my husband, you hear!" (Aug 19), sales manager Mrs Tan spoke of dealing with her cheating husband and confronting his lover and her husband. Another betrayed wife writes to her.

    Mrs Tan, you are one against the many women out there who would go for your man. If not this woman, there are others — single or married. And would your man turn to prostitution for his needs?

    Of course, no one can accept any form of betrayal. But think twice. The worst has already happened. What comes next? Continual love and care from our man after his betrayal? Or our fulfilment of his needs?

    Let's be honest as women. When we age, we are unlikely to fulfil our man's needs as much as when we were young.

    Hence, it is always important to take your husband in hand and know his desires. Don't blame others. If you are capable in keeping your belongings, they are less likely to get stolen. Do not ring the police to arrest the "thief" who has only taken what you left out to be taken.

    I have experienced what you experienced. But I think it is unwise and selfish of you to expose the matter to the other woman's husband. Why extend your anger to her spouse? You may think what you are doing is right, but it is just a form of revenge.

    You are also scaring your husband off, making him think he is sleeping with someone who could be a "time bomb". You are stopping him from repeating his mistake with a threat to hurt his "friends".

    By doing so, you may have set him on the "ready to leave you" mode if he ever makes a new "friend" he finds more understanding and patient. This is because he won't allow you to hurt "his woman" again.

    Remember, you are not the only compatible woman in his entire life. Not until you change and compromise along the way can you become his most compatible.

    You were chosen and married to him only because you met him earlier. Only benevolence and magnanimity will allow you to keep your man to your last days.

    Link here:
    http://www.todayonline.com/articles/68027.asp

    update: theres seems some error in the first posting.
    Last edited by itisnottheendorg; 22nd August 2005 at 11:49 PM.

  2. #2
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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    are my eyes playing tricks on moi? seem to be re-reading few times
    爱是要时间慢慢培养的。。

  3. #3
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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    wow

    now that is an eye opener, a woman who can see the big picture
    i like the way she writes

  4. #4
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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Well husbands normally stray because of a naggy wife at home

  5. #5
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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    I think I agree with her.

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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Quote Originally Posted by Drudkh
    I think I agree with her.
    Yeah man.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    One up for the mature woman in SG. I think she got guts to admit it.

  8. #8

    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    alas 1 singaporean woman who can think

    but still..that;s 1 out of the obscene number of women who think otherwise

  9. #9
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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Nice words of encouragement, her method might work, but don't think sure will work. What if the man is unappreciative & mistook his wifes kindness for being weak, and instead of going back to his wife, thinks that he can actually do what he wants and his wife to meek do anything about it, so he repeats his mistakes again look for another woman?

    Husband hits wife to vent frustration every time he drunk. Wife remains silent, get beaten everytime, continue to care for husband. Next time husband drunk & frustrated again, chances of him (1)remembering wife cares for him, don't hit her OR (2)hit her, as usual. Which is more likely?
    Last edited by clicknick; 22nd August 2005 at 04:58 PM.

  10. #10

    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    I felt that if either parties cannot think of the big picture, maybe it better if a couple be 2 units. It's okay to fall out of love with each other, but remember in the frist place, I choose to be in this relationship. If I would break my words to such an important person, it would be better to just let this relationship go, then expect the other person to be "benevolence and magnanimity" so this relationship can go on.

  11. #11

    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Quote Originally Posted by furrycake
    are my eyes playing tricks on moi? seem to be re-reading few times


    I tot I am the only one who needs change my spect!!

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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Quote Originally Posted by clicknick
    Nice words of encouragement, her method might work, but don't think sure will work. What if the man is unappreciative & mistook his wifes kindness for being weak, and instead of going back to his wife, thinks that he can actually do what he wants and his wife to meek do anything about it, so he repeats his mistakes again look for another woman?

    Husband hits wife to vent frustration every time he drunk. Wife remains silent, get beaten everytime, continue to care for husband. Next time husband drunk & frustrated again, chances of him (1)remembering wife cares for him, don't hit her OR (2)hit her, as usual. Which is more likely?
    Let's not talk about the results from it.

    Let's talk about the prevention of it. That's what the writer in response to the article had in mind. Not to salvage the situation, but also to warn of the cause.

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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Quote Originally Posted by espn
    Let's not talk about the results from it.

    Let's talk about the prevention of it. That's what the writer in response to the article had in mind. Not to salvage the situation, but also to warn of the cause.
    Good point Prevention better than cure

  14. #14

    Lightbulb Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Mrs Lam seems to be a matured, level headed with a healthy dose of sensibility.

  15. #15

    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    THAT's the way to win (back) your man.

    Wisdom such as this reminds me of a book I read... The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr Laura Schlessinger. Its a book many wives should read, although many mordern women will not allow themselves to see the wisdom contained therein.
    Last edited by kuoann; 22nd August 2005 at 05:38 PM.

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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    What if Mrs Lam is a man?
    Last edited by hazmee; 22nd August 2005 at 05:39 PM.

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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Quote Originally Posted by hazmee
    What if Mrs Lam was a man?
    den LPPL lor... happen so the 1st & last word is her surname...
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

  18. #18

    Lightbulb Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    ...many modern women... like Mrs Tan, sales manager. don't play, play.


    Quote Originally Posted by kuoann
    THAT's the way to win (back) your man.

    Wisdom such as this reminds of a book I read... The Proper Care and Feeding of Husbands, by Dr Laura Schlessinger. Its a book many wives should read, although many mordern women will not allow themselves to see the wisdom contained therein.

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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt
    den LPPL lor... happen so the 1st & last word is her surname...
    Pardon me for my ignorance but what does LPPL stands for?

  20. #20
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    Default Re: "Don't blame the other woman if he strays"

    Quote Originally Posted by hazmee
    Pardon me for my ignorance but what does LPPL stands for?
    dunno if talkingcock.com got put anot...

    its LPPL = Lam Pah Pah Lam (some use Lan...)

    otherwise, use LL also can... Lan Lan... hmm exact meaning anybody wanna elaborate?
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

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