THis is one of, if not THE, most well-composed and well-considered replies I have ever ever hear of..if only the AVERAGE Singaporean girl thinks this way (which requires going thru a certain self-maturity process I am quite concern)..
Don't blame the other woman if he strays
Letter from MRS LAM
In "Stay away from my husband, you hear!" (Aug 19), sales manager Mrs Tan spoke of dealing with her cheating husband and confronting his lover and her husband. Another betrayed wife writes to her.
Mrs Tan, you are one against the many women out there who would go for your man. If not this woman, there are others — single or married. And would your man turn to prostitution for his needs?
Of course, no one can accept any form of betrayal. But think twice. The worst has already happened. What comes next? Continual love and care from our man after his betrayal? Or our fulfilment of his needs?
Let's be honest as women. When we age, we are unlikely to fulfil our man's needs as much as when we were young.
Hence, it is always important to take your husband in hand and know his desires. Don't blame others. If you are capable in keeping your belongings, they are less likely to get stolen. Do not ring the police to arrest the "thief" who has only taken what you left out to be taken.
I have experienced what you experienced. But I think it is unwise and selfish of you to expose the matter to the other woman's husband. Why extend your anger to her spouse? You may think what you are doing is right, but it is just a form of revenge.
You are also scaring your husband off, making him think he is sleeping with someone who could be a "time bomb". You are stopping him from repeating his mistake with a threat to hurt his "friends".
By doing so, you may have set him on the "ready to leave you" mode if he ever makes a new "friend" he finds more understanding and patient. This is because he won't allow you to hurt "his woman" again.
Remember, you are not the only compatible woman in his entire life. Not until you change and compromise along the way can you become his most compatible.
You were chosen and married to him only because you met him earlier. Only benevolence and magnanimity will allow you to keep your man to your last days.
update: theres seems some error in the first posting.