I believe there is no point in letting this thread go on.
Those who had something to say to Benign seem to have already done so here, plus there are some side OT debates and arguments already.
Benign, I hope you can read through all the feedback with an open mind and reach a conclusion for yourself about your actions.
I would like to remind you that when you post a question as "was I bad?" here you are openning yourself for the others to judge on you. In fact you are inviting others to judge you. You have to be ready for answers that go both ways. If you are expecting answers to go only one way, then you really should not post such a question here.
If, by posting this question here means that you still have some doubts about your actions then you have to have an open mind towards the reply and not be defensive. That's the only way you can learn and mature.
This thread is hereby closed.