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Thread: Relation Counselling

  1. #1
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    Default Relation Counselling

    I have this friend who is in need of getting a relationship counsellor but he has turned to me for help and i'm thinking if there are any good counsellors out there who are able to provide such a service?

    Do let me please.

    Thank you.
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  2. #2
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    Does he go to church? Some churches have professional counselling that might be able to help.

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    can call NUSSU Hotline if he is NUS student

    http://www.nussu.org/~hotline/services.php

    the service is manned by trained NUS undergrads

    check out the links to other helplines too

    http://www.nussu.org/~hotline/links.php
    Last edited by Wai; 30th June 2005 at 08:50 PM.

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    Hi Terence/Wai,

    No, he isn't a NUS student and neither does he belong to any particular religious group... He wouldn't even mind paying for a counsellor, especially if he is able to save his relationship...

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    dun think a counsellor could save any relationship... they will provide just advice & a listening ear...

    anyway good luck to your fren!
    Logging Off. "You have 2,631 messages stored, of a total 400 allowed." don't PM me.

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    Hi WG, have PM'ed you.
    Kopi Session (when time permits)
    at 100AW, Blk 639, Punggol Drive

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    A counseller will help a person to see things in perspective, to let the person find the solution for himself/herself. Can ask your friend try the couselling service at Raffles Medical.

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    Hi ykia/tkkoh/snowspeeder,

    My friend can't exactly go family court as he isn't married to the gf yet.

    ykia, i'll broach the idea of your pm to him and see how he reacts to it...

    Raffles Medical is out. Apparently he knows someone there...

    Thanks for all the recommandation so far.. keep them coming...
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    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt
    dun think a counsellor could save any relationship... they will provide just advice & a listening ear...

    anyway good luck to your fren!
    Well, i dunno but he is willing to try almost anything at this stage. The main problem they have is communicating with each other and i reckon if the counsellor can share with them on how ot better communicate, it might help them...

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  11. #11
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    Yeah ... I feel the more effective approach is have both of them to see a common counsellor, if possible. It takes two hands to clap.

    I'd love to help but I suppose I lack credibility and also time.

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfgang
    Well, i dunno but he is willing to try almost anything at this stage. The main problem they have is communicating with each other and i reckon if the counsellor can share with them on how ot better communicate, it might help them...

    hmm strange... do they need a mediator or a counsellor?

    i'd say, if they are having problems communicating with each other, then they need to communicate often, a counsellor can only just give them some advice & options. if they are having aggressive negotiations, then they need a mediator than a counsellor.
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    oh ya add to my above.. i'd also recommend that they do open up to each other, if everything have to go thru a counsellor, its better that both of them date the counsellors... (just joking)

    of course there is also the easier way out, but i guess your fren is brave & commited enuff to go the hard way, kudos to him!

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    Perhaps they can help.

    Fei Yue
    http://www.fycs.org/

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wai
    good links.. Can try SOS they are professionally trained and run by volunteers (so they wun be going thru motion, like when waiting for paycheck)
    “How fortunate for leaders that men do not think.” - Adolf Hitler

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by Wolfgang
    Well, i dunno but he is willing to try almost anything at this stage. The main problem they have is communicating with each other and i reckon if the counsellor can share with them on how ot better communicate, it might help them...

    this may sound old fashioned...but they could try writing each other a love letter. in this letter, each person must state 5 things they love and admire most about the other person, as well as apologising for the one thing he/she feels is hindering the relationship the most (get a mutual fren (WG?) to facilitate this). that's it....no blaming, no flaming, no anger. exchange letters (by post if necessary), then perhaps they can meet up 3 days later and see how it goes? this may help to focus on the positives in their relationship and maybe deepen their communication levels. writing the letter is hard, especially the apology bit, but the potential rewards are great.

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    Quote Originally Posted by zaren
    this may sound old fashioned...but they could try writing each other a love letter. in this letter, each person must state 5 things they love and admire most about the other person, as well as apologising for the one thing he/she feels is hindering the relationship the most (get a mutual fren (WG?) to facilitate this). that's it....no blaming, no flaming, no anger. exchange letters (by post if necessary), then perhaps they can meet up 3 days later and see how it goes? this may help to focus on the positives in their relationship and maybe deepen their communication levels. writing the letter is hard, especially the apology bit, but the potential rewards are great.
    This idea was brought up before by some of us who were trying to advice him and although it sounds like a good idea but until they can let go of their past emotional baggages (which i can assure you, there are alot of) the letters wont help alot... But thank you Zaren, for suggesting.
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    Quote Originally Posted by Del_CtrlnoAlt
    oh ya add to my above.. i'd also recommend that they do open up to each other, if everything have to go thru a counsellor, its better that both of them date the counsellors... (just joking)

    of course there is also the easier way out, but i guess your fren is brave & commited enuff to go the hard way, kudos to him!
    Well, the poor chap has been dating her for a long period and i think he does cherish the relationship alot? Besides, he is known to be very stubborn...
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    Quote Originally Posted by binbeto
    Perhaps they can help.

    Fei Yue
    http://www.fycs.org/
    Bin, I checked out the website and they offer only pre-marriage courses only right? I don't think it's something they need at the moment or did i miss something?

    Quote Originally Posted by yanyewkay
    good links.. Can try SOS they are professionally trained and run by volunteers (so they wun be going thru motion, like when waiting for paycheck)
    SOS eh? Hmmm... Well, i'll just pass all of this on and let him go decide... but keep the references coming.

    PS: yanyekew, thanks fo rthe pm.
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  20. #20

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    First of all, are BOTH of them interested to continue the relationship?

    If it is only your friend who is interested, then he might as well give up. Somewhere it was written, your friend is rather stubborn. And stubborn people are difficult to live with. So what is the point of "better" communication? Is "poor communication" the real problem? Or is "poor communication" a convenient "scape-goat" for the bad relationship? Or is the "real problem" your friend? Not recognising or refusing to recognise that the problem might be "HIM"? (of course I do not know the whole story - just throwing up some ideas to consider)

    Better communication is not the solution to save a relationship where one is continually pissed off by the other.

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