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Thread: Is it wrong to lie?

  1. #21
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    skali she also lied to you about her gender..

  2. #22

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benign
    When finding a prospective partner/lover in life, is it wrong to tell her lies? In this case that he is poor and have loved ones to look after?
    Or am I asking too much out of a relationship?
    Of course, the intention was to find out whether she is out to seek genuine love....ladies, dun get angry ok
    poor chap! I think you're greatly influnced by tv and movies.


    But then sometime we resolved to this method because we cheated too many people therefore we also dare not trust others.

    Or you have too many friends that get conned by their dates.

  3. #23
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    skali she also lied to you about her gender..
    I agree. You are speaking from experience?

  4. #24
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    But then sometime we resolved to this method because we cheated too many people therefore we also dare not trust others.
    Or vice versa, some people are afraid if such method is used to detect lies in relationship. Then the individuals in question will definitely failed miserably....

  5. #25

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    Actually, I caught on to what you were hinting on early on. If you're rich, that's just part of you, people (girls) can love you for that. Guess the real world isn't that romantic.

    It's the same for girls, will any girl dress themselves up shabbly so they can meet a guy that would love her NOT for her looks ?

    You don't have to lie, just have to be more careful. You can't really say you're NOT rich unless you're willing to deny yourself the riches and give that all up in your search for a girl who will love you as you are. BUT if you still want to enjoy the comfort that money brings you'll have to take the risk that the girl you're with might be there for the same comfort, whether partly or fully.

    You can't have it all I guess, it's the question of money vs the girl.

    cheers
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  6. #26

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    do you need to lie? just take your time to get to know the real person before deciding if she is right for you. lies will eventually surface one way or another.

  7. #27
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    well said Alvin.

    you need to be able to read through to the person underneath the words and the expression.

    if you are not good at that I'm sure Alvin will gladly quote you a fee

  8. #28
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    I guess I have a slightly different take on this than most, having been chased by what sometimes feels like half of the money hungry gold-digging women in SE Asia, Russia and elsewhere.

    Rather than lie about my wealth or lack of it, I simply try to avoid answering direct questions. A gal afterall does have a right to know if she's potentially going to marry a total pauper. Financial stability is often right at the top of many women's priorities these days, which is fair enough too.

    With that said you'd be surprised at how many women start laying honey traps, (eg sexual and or of the ego stroking variety) if they think they can land someone with any real wealth, be it real or imagined. If you think this sounds far fetched, have a look on google and see how many courses are offered for women on how to find, land and marry a millionaire. Such predatory tactics make my blood run cold...

    My advice, be yourself, don't do anything that is out of character and don't spend up big in the hope of impressing her. The gal will either love you for who you are or move on if she's looking for a wallet.
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  9. #29
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    My advice, be yourself, don't do anything that is out of character and don't spend up big in the hope of impressing her. The gal will either love you for who you are or move on if she's looking for a wallet.
    Thanks Ian for sharing your thoughts

    Often I thought I am the weird one who behaved like tis...only recently I learnt there is another guy who did exactly the same trick. Tested the gal and married her. Although the gal was not as pretty as the previous exs, but the love was genuine.

    He pretend to drive a thousand dollar car when the courtship started. In actual fact, he is a multi.. multi millionaire who drove porches and have properties all over the place. An Italian married a chinese gal who worked as a waitress.

    Funny isn't it....

  10. #30
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    Its kinda insulting for a gal to be tested that way. For me, its really up to both of you to find out about each other during dating. The relationship should be equal. If one person thinks he or she is better than the other, then this r/s is bound to fail sooner or later. It sounds like the Italian thinks that because he is a multi-millionaire, he is a better person. And in this case, he sounds more money-minded than her. Just my opinion.

  11. #31
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    Its kinda insulting for a gal to be tested that way.
    Sorry dawgbyte77, I can't speak on his behalf But he was 40 and still bachelor. As far as I know, his previous gfs dated him coz of his money

    If you are in his shoes, then you might understand his action.

    Sadly, I tried the same method.....I wasn't as blessed as he is. You will be surprised by the outcome!
    My first trial was the conversation with the lady that lasted less than half an hour...when I said I was umemployed and of average background.

    Second trial lasted a few days.......

    If love is based on possesions or profession.
    Then I am a happy bachelor.

    p/s: Dun worry guys, my trials did not conduct in Sg.

  12. #32
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    Quote Originally Posted by Benign
    Sorry dawgbyte77, I can't speak on his behalf But he was 40 and still bachelor. As far as I know, his previous gfs dated him coz of his money

    If you are in his shoes, then you might understand his action.

    Sadly, I tried the same method.....I wasn't as blessed as he is. You will be surprised by the outcome!
    My first trial was the conversation with the lady that lasted less than half an hour...when I said I was umemployed and of average background.

    Second trial lasted a few days.......

    If love is based on possesions or profession.
    Then I am a happy bachelor.

    p/s: Dun worry guys, my trials did not conduct in Sg.
    If you are doing this during speed dating, then I guess this is the exact outcome you would expect, isn't it? Ask yourself, if you eventually hook up with somebody and she finds out you fibbed to test her sincerity, won't she have serious reservations about your integrity? It cuts both ways you know. How about you put yourself in the other position. What if your date tells you she was an ex-prostitute and heroin addict, and is now trying to clean up her life and hope that you can accept her, just to test YOU.....how long would THAT conversation last? How would you feel if you found out later it was all a lie? I can guarantee the feeling will be betrayal, NOT the mushy, soft-focus, falling into each other's arms kind of happy ending you see in the movies.

    I personally find your approach grossly unethical and downright silly. Why do you need to mis-represent yourself?

    IMO of course, which is what you are asking for in this thread.

  13. #33
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    Everyone lies to a certain extent. Frm da beggar on da streets right up to powerful politicians.

    The only being who does not lie is God.

    The thing is whether u use ur lie for a good intent or a bad one.

    Meditate on it.

  14. #34
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    Quote Originally Posted by jsbn
    The thing is whether u use ur lie for a good intent or a bad one.
    It's still lie.

  15. #35

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    Lying is bad, unless you want to sleep.

  16. #36

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    Depends on what kind of lies?

    1) If she is ugly, but you still love her and tell her she's beautiful - good lie, cuz you make her happy.

    2) If you are married and tell her you're single - bad lie.


  17. #37

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    unless you want to sleep with her?

    Quote Originally Posted by adamadam
    Lying is bad, unless you want to sleep.

  18. #38
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    I agree. If any girl asked if she looks fat and you said yes, no matter how sincere you are, I guarantee it won't be a pretty picture. She may even find a new use for your tripod.

  19. #39
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    Quote Originally Posted by dawgbyte77
    I agree. If any girl asked if she looks fat and you said yes, no matter how sincere you are, I guarantee it won't be a pretty picture. She may even find a new use for your tripod.
    There is a difference between being diplomatic and outright deception.

  20. #40
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    Quote Originally Posted by togu
    So you mean you are rich but telling the girl you are poor? That's not a lie, that's a show of either 1 thing,

    1. You have no confidence in yourself

    OR

    2. You have no confidence the lady you are after

    Either, IMHO, if 1 put $$ as everything in any relationships, it's better not to start any.



    Hrm... and nothing personal, but I can sense a bit of ego...


    Just my 2 cents.
    I have no time to read all postings, but I think he wants to just test her sincerity in these materialistic times.......my suggestion is: to not tell her that you are poor and have others to look after, when she finds out later that this is not true, she might ask you why you were testing her? Maybe she can accept it, but maybe not? She might think you were not trusting her......

    Better to just be very frugile in spending to let her know you are very careful in using SGD....but not that you are going to splurge once you find out that she is sincere :-).........if she runs away from you when you don't want to spend, then you have your answer lah! But is is also a two way thing, if she doesn't want you to spend, then you also have your answer.

    uncle HS

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