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Thread: Jokes Thread

  1. #501
    Senior Member UncleFai's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by Shizuma View Post
    In a radio contest ...
    I phoned the local radio station today.

    When the DJ answered the phone he said, "Congratulations on being our first caller, all you have to is answer my next question correctly to win the grind prize."

    "WAHOO!" I shouted in delight.

    "It's a math question," he continued. "Feeling confident?"

    "I have a degree in Math and teach it at my local school," I proudly replied.

    "Ok then, to win 2 VIP tickets to a Justin Bieber concert and to meet him back stage what it is 2+2?"

    "7," I replied.
    DJ: "CORRECT! CONGRATULATIONS! You just won two VIP tickets to a Justin Bieber concert and to meet him back stage!"

    (Input from a friend after I cut and paste this joke on my FB page)
    Last edited by UncleFai; 10th June 2014 at 12:25 PM.

  2. #502
    Member mysilentkaopei's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    saw this joke on china tv.

    aeroplane fly so high, why won't hit the stars?








    Because they can shan ah shan ah (闪啊闪啊)

  3. #503
    Senior Member UncleFai's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread


  4. #504

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    Why didn't I decide to explore the kopitiam forum sooner? Haha. Great thread!

  5. #505
    Moderator Francis247's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    Quote Originally Posted by WhiteFields View Post
    Why didn't I decide to explore the kopitiam forum sooner? Haha. Great thread!
    What were you doing for the last 4 years?
    莫问前程有愧,只求今生无悔. Time pasts, Places changed, Beauty faded, what is left are Photos of Memories…

  6. #506
    Moderator Francis247's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    Wife: "How would you describe me?"
    Husband: "ABCDEFGHIJK."
    Wife: "What does that mean?"
    Husband: "Adorable, beautiful, cute, delightful, elegant, fashionable, gorgeous, and hot."
    Wife: "Aw, thank you, but what about IJK?"
    Husband: "I'm just kidding!"
    莫问前程有愧,只求今生无悔. Time pasts, Places changed, Beauty faded, what is left are Photos of Memories…

  7. #507
    Moderator Francis247's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    Wife: "I look fat. Can you give me a compliment?"
    Husband: "You have perfect eyesight."
    莫问前程有愧,只求今生无悔. Time pasts, Places changed, Beauty faded, what is left are Photos of Memories…

  8. #508
    Moderator Francis247's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    A man kills a deer and takes it home to cook for dinner. Both he and his wife decide that they won't tell the kids what kind of meat it is, but will give them a clue and let them guess. The dad said, "Well it's what Mommy calls me sometimes." The little girl screamed to her brother, "Don't eat it. Its an @$$hole!
    莫问前程有愧,只求今生无悔. Time pasts, Places changed, Beauty faded, what is left are Photos of Memories…

  9. #509

    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    Joke for the day: Our teacher asked what my favorite animal was, and I said, "Fried chicken."
    She said I wasn't funny, but she couldn't have been right, because everyone else laughed.
    My parents told me to always tell the truth.
    I did.
    Fried chicken is my favorite animal.
    I told my dad what happened, and he said my teacher was probably a member of PETA.
    He said they love animals very much.
    I do, too. Especially chicken, pork and beef. Anyway, my teacher sent me to the principal's office.
    I told him what happened, and he laughed, too. Then he told me not to do it again.
    The next day in class my teacher asked me what my favorite live animal was.
    I told her it was chicken. She asked me why, so I told her it was because you could make them into fried chicken..
    She sent me back to the principal's office.
    He laughed, and told me not to do it again.
    I don't understand.
    My parents taught me to be honest, but my teacher doesn't like it when I am.
    Today, my teacher asked us to tell her what famous person we admire most.
    I told her, "Colonel Sanders."
    Guess where I am now....
    宁愿遇见丢失幼崽的母熊,也不愿碰上做蠢事的愚人

  10. #510

    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    Today the bank decided to charge 20 cents to top up EZ Link cards...
    ... wait.. its not a joke

  11. #511
    Senior Member UncleFai's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    Let's see how good you are at math.

    What happens when you pour root beer into a square cup?



    ANSWER: Beer!

  12. #512
    Senior Member UncleFai's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread


  13. #513
    Senior Member shierwin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    An Airline introduced a special package for Business men.

    Buy your ticket, get your wife's ticket free.

    After great success, the company sent letters to all the wives asking
    how was the trip.

    All of them gave the same reply..."What trip?"

    xxxxxxxxxx

  14. #514

    Default Re: Jokes Thread

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    ................

  15. #515
    Senior Member UncleFai's Avatar
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    Default

    Two blondes were driving to Disneyworld.

    Then they came upon a big road side that said "Disneyworld left".

    They cried, made a U-turn and headed home.

  16. #516

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by UncleFai View Post
    Two blondes were driving to Disneyworld.

    Then they came upon a big road side that said "Disneyworld left".

    They cried, made a U-turn and headed home.
    hahahahaha...

  17. #517

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    Quote Originally Posted by UncleFai View Post
    Two blondes were driving to Disneyworld. Then they came upon a big road side that said "Disneyworld left". They cried, made a U-turn and headed home.

    Dumb Blonde. ha ha

  18. #518

    Default Re: Jokes Thread

    A blonde and a brunette were swimming in a Cross-Channel event (from Dover England, to France)

    Just past the halfway mark the blonde tapped her buddy and told her "honey, I'm too tired to go the rest of the way, I'll turn around and swim back!"
    宁愿遇见丢失幼崽的母熊,也不愿碰上做蠢事的愚人

  19. #519
    Senior Member UncleFai's Avatar
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    Default

    The following was found scribbled inside a gym:

    "Education is important
    But big biceps are importanter."

  20. #520

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Shizuma View Post
    A blonde and a brunette were swimming in a Cross-Channel event (from Dover England, to France) Just past the halfway mark the blonde tapped her buddy and told her "honey, I'm too tired to go the rest of the way, I'll turn around and swim back!"
    This is very tcim. Catch no ball leh. LOL

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